Dear Diary,

Holy crap the ranch balls work beautifully!

So, all they are is a thin layer of pizza dough, made into a ball, and filled with ranch dressing. The slimes, for some weird reason, don’t like ranch dressing. They’re allergic to it or something. So, when the balls hit the slimes, at first nothing happens. They kinda pause, trying to figure out what the heck this new thing is, then decide it’s harmless and keep going. And then the acid in them dissolves the bread, and boom! They explode!

Well, explode isn’t quite the right word. It’s more like they lose their shape and sploosh down to the ground. The only problem with that is, they don’t dissolve and they’re still acidic. And sometimes freezy or burny. But we have teleportation and flight and potions that let us walk on walls, so it’s not that big of a deal.

Kimi says she might sell the ranch balls in her shop, and that feels like a good thing to do. Having ranch dressing and knowing that slimes don’t like it is one thing, but to have an actual thing that was obviously made to kill slimes are two completely different things. And we can’t let the players know we’ve been to other floors, soooo yeah having a random ranch bomb appear in Kimi’s shop is better than people buying them from me.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

And meatballs for the dire wolves are different. Because meatballs are something you wouldn’t be surprised at finding out a restaurant sold.

But enough about slimes. I’ve been thinking about slimes way too much lately. Instead, I need to focus on bugs.

Bugs are horrible. I hate them.

The spiders have a poison that… well… Ok so, Kimi has a poison potion. And we’ve all tried it, because why not. We were bored. And we know we’d just respawn in our bedrooms anyways, so no real harm done. But Kimi’s poison feels like… I don’t know, liver failure? Kidney failure? Basically something in the stomach area that isn’t the stomach stops working, and it hurts super bad, and it gets worse and worse until you die. But the spider poison is different. It looks more like a super infected wound? The blood veins around it turn black and hurt like heck, and slowly the black veins stretch out until they reach your heart, and then you die.

It’s weird that there’s a difference, and makes me wonder how many different types of poison there are. But then again, I don’t really want to find out.

I can teleport pretty far now, I’m at lvl 53, but to get all the way across the bug floor I think I’d need to teleport twice even at lvl 100. Lilly wonders if turning invisible would help. I doubt it, since I think bugs find food through smell, don’t they? But at this point I’m willing to try anything. The problem is that the ants fly, spiders climb, and the giant worm thing can yeet itself out of the ground pretty far. So climbing up on the wall or flying ourselves isn’t helpful.

Oh well, I’m sure we’ll figure out how to get through. We always do.

Goodnight, dungeon!

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