Suggested BGM: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndH6UqA0QSo
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Ah… so soft… I must be lying down on a soft bed… with silk and cotton. I didn’t even attempt in opening my eyes. I move my hand and fingers and then I gently touch my face. I ruffle my hair and trace it with my finger.
I check all my senses except for sight. Everything is fine… and above all…
I’m alive…
Am I given another chance at life? Can I straighten out every mistake that I did? Can I still be forgiven?
Before that…
Where am I?
I cast barrier to scan the outline of the place I am currently in.
…
No… anything but here…
This familiar place… even though I haven’t been into this room before, I know well where one can only see a room with this designs because I lived here for three months…
Astlan Kingdom Royal Castle.
My senses are sensitive since becoming blind. Judging from the humidity and the atmosphere of the room, its night, that much I can say because of this place topography which I became familiar. I wouldn’t have known if it is snowing, but that season is still far.
I can’t be here, knowing that he hated me. I can’t take that.
I slip out of my bed. As my feet reach the ground, I try to stand up.
“Ah!”
My legs wobble as I try to stand upright. My legs are so weak right now but I can manage to walk, although, slowly.
I had already sensed where the window is. Exiting through the door is no good.
I open the window and jump down. I cast barrier to cushion my landing so I won’t get hurt because my feet can even barely walk.
I scan the whole area with my intangible barrier.
This is the garden… it seems that the room I am earlier is close by to my previous room.
I know full well what’s in the garden. Beyond here is a gate leading to the outer wall. After that, I just have to use my barrier as a platform to climb up and again, drop down by using my barrier as a cushion.
I walk staggering while barefooted, but I didn’t mind. I got used to it. I am even wearing which seems like a pajama.
Stagger…
I stagger in each step, using anything around me as a guide and hold to it so I can straighten my walks.
TAP
TAP
TAP
Footstep?
I’ve been found?
Who?
I turn around and face the one who is following me. I never bother to look because I’m blind but I know that it is somewhere there.
“Who are you?!”
Tap
Tap
Tap
“Don’t come any closer! I will blow you away and you are just going to get hurt!”
Tap
Tap
Tap
“I’m serious! Go back now! Whoever you are, you should not try to meddle with me!!!”
“…”
“Are you an idiot?! I already warned you!”
“Where are you going at this late hour, Asagao?”
“!”
This voice…
I know it too well…
Ashfon… the king… the man I look up as my own big brother…
I unconsciously look down even though I lost my eyesight. I clench my fist like I am guilty of something.
“What… do… you want?”
“…”
“You… you hate me right? You are utterly disgusted and hateful of me right?!”
“…”
Tap
Tap
Tap
“Don’t come any closer! I am serious of knocking you! What did you even saved me for?! Why did you let me live after all that happened?! Do you want me to suffer more?! Whatever your reasons are, we both know who is the guilty here!”
Tap
Tap
Tap
“I lied! I tricked everyone here! Now that you heard it again, are you happy?! I am happy that I did that you know! Every little thing that happened to this place! It was all planned! To live a luxurious life, to get in a good and safe place, I did everything playing the role of a little sister!”
Tap
Tap
Tap
“I hated everything that you did! I hated how you always pat my head! I hated your warmth when you gently hug me! I hated everyone here! I hated talking to you! I hated everything about you! I hated how you always smile at me! I hated it! Are you happy now that you heard it coming from me?! I bet you are furious now!”
Tap
Tap
Tap
“If there’s any reason I am here, I bet it’s because I am going to punish or executed! Why did you even bother saving a scum like me?!”
No…
Why am I even saying all of these?
I don’t want to both of us to get hurt any further. I at least got to make him hate me. Hate me further than I think he already hated me.
His track stops. I can feel that he is already in front of me. I can’t gather any courage to push him away.
While I was staring down, a warm embrace caught me, a gentle but rough embrace like forcing me to stay.
“Let me go…”
“No.”
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“Let me go I said!”
“I won’t let you go.”
“Get away from me! I am really going to blow you away!”
“Do it then.”
“I am… really going to do it.”
“You are not even resisting.
“Just… let me go already!”
“Why?”
“Because as I said! I hate everyone! I hate you! I hate this embrace! I hate it! So let me go!”
“Why do you lie?”
“I am… not lying!”
“You did nothing but lie.”
“Yes! I did! I am hateful right?! You hate me right?!”
“…”
“You hated the fact that I am someone you didn’t expect right? I am previously a man at age of twenty! It hurts right?! Being lied to!”
“Yes, because of that, I can’t trust you.”
“So let me go already!”
“No.”
“Why?!”
“Because I still want you, as my little sister, as the Asagao that everyone loves, the adorable Asagao that everyone cherished.”
“But…”
“A man previously? Twenty years old? And you are Nil yourself in another body?”
“I am, in fact, culpable of his actions because I am still him!”
“You are not Nil. From the looks of it, you are entirely a different person to me. Don’t take his actions as yours.”
“You can’t change the fact th--!”
“Then start over as Asagao Lionheart! Start over as the nine years old dumb lying kid you are! That dumb kid everyone adores! It’s simple right!”
“I…”
“So… why do you lie?”
He hugs me tightly.
His warmth is being transmitted to me.
Stop it…
Please stop it…
“*Hic*…*sob*…unfair…*hic*…”
“…”
“*sob* you’re so unfair…*sob*”
“…”
“This hug, this warmth *hic*… everyone, and you…*hic*… I… I love them all! *sob*”
“I see…”
“…*sob*…you’re unfair…*hic*… for hugging me like this…*hic*…unfair…”
“Yes, I am unfair… I will be… “
I can’t bear my emotions anymore.
The loneliness, the sadness, the longing for someone’s warmth, everything!
The guilt of the things that I have done, the things that I will do, and the lies I have said, he just dismissed it for the reasoning he wants me to be his little sister.
Hugging me like this, which makes my heart melt… unfair…
This embrace washes everything… every guilt… every loneliness… that I have been through in that nightmare…
My tears continuously flow…
I can’t stop…
“uUUwaaahHhh! I’m sorry! I am sorry for lying! I am sorry for every trouble that I caused! I am sorry for everything that I did! Please don’t cast me aside! Please let me stand beside everyone! I want to be with everyone and to protect each other!”
“I am sorry too, for not hearing you out. I am sorry too…I… I am sorry too… i… promised…to protect you… but… that promise… falter… I… I… failed to…protect you twice… because… I am an incompetent scum…”
His hands are shaking. At my shoulder, there’s something wet…
He is crying too…
I slowly and shakily wrap my hands at his back…
“But… still… about Nil…”
“I understand… If you really feel responsible for his actions, then I might as well let you do as you will, but now, please, stay… with us…”
“Can you… trust me again?”
“Not entirely… but… let’s build our bonds again… little by little… we will reach a closure. When that time happens… no… before even that happens… as long as… you stay beside us… I am going to regain my trust not only to you but to humanity and other people as well. That’s why… thank you… for bearing with me…”
“I am back being your little sister…”
“My liar little sister…”
“*sob* I see… not bad…*sob*…”
“I… may not be the best big brother out there… but will you still accept me?”
“*hic* I have to. I have to take care of you… *hic* you are an idiot after all.”
“Thank you…”
He loosens his embrace and wipes my tears with his finger and fixes my hair. He then gently strokes my hair and touches my cheeks.
As I was enjoying the sensation, I felt that my legs gave in and I stumble.
He catches me and carried me in his arms.
“You better rest. I am going to take you back to your room.”
“I see… since I am blind and so weak…”
“Your blindness isn’t permanent. It will wear off in a days or week.”
“That’s a relief…”
“So you can see my face again?”
“No.”
“Ahaha…”
As he carries me towards the castle, I hear people talking.
“Fon, I am glad.”
“Is that you Violetta-nee?”
“Yes. I am glad too that you are fine considering you had the guts to escape.”
“Ahahaha…”
Another voice speaks. It’s master.
“So how is it the human king? I thought you aim to be the best big brother?”
“F-forget about that!”
“Ahaha.”
My heart feels warmness.
I am filled with relief and happiness.
I can now walk around the castle with free guilt, without trying to deceive anyone that I care for.
…
My eyes are giving out too.
I am falling into another slumber…
But now…
Not in a cold, hard, soil or ground…
But into the warmth of the people who cares for me.
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I put every feeling that I have in this chapter because I failed to land a job today.