“Rain…rain…go…away…come…again…another day…”

I lifelessly sang as droplets of water violently pour. I don’t mind the coldness of the weather but, my tears continuously flow as I feel the coldness of Milin’s hand. Tightly holding her unmoving head on my chest, I cannot stop my sobbing.

My memories together with her flashes in my mind…

Remembering those happy days with her…

.

.

.

“Kyaa! My lady is angry!”

“Milin! You… you got one of my underwear again?!”

“Run!~”

“Hey! Wait! I’ll have Priscilla scold you senseless when she returns here!”

“Fufufu! That would take appropriately a long time! For now, I seize victory!”

“GRRR! Come back!”

.

.

.

“Milin?!”

“My lady! I am glad that you are back! I am glad…”

“Yes… How much did you miss me that it made you stick to me for a whole day?”

“To the point that I hallucinated about you!”

“That bad, huh…”

“Yep!”

“How do you even see me?”

“My lady is perfect for my eyes! You are the very definition of cuteness!”

“Appearance only, huh…”

“That’s half of it. My lady, since your return, you are now much more bright and cheerful than ever. You even got past your shyness.  You’ve grown splendidly emotionally, so My lady, you’ve become someone more than perfect in my eyes.”

“W-what are you--! You--!”

“You easily get embarrassed like this as always. I also love that!~”

.

.

.

“Milin…”

“My lady, I cannot repent enough for what I’ve done to you…”

“I don’t care about that. It’s more than enough for me to know that you are safe. That’s all.”

“My lady…!”

“We’ve already talked this over, right?”

“But…still…”

“I want you to keep serving me. I want your loyalty. I want you to be by my side.”

“I am happier than before! I, Milin, will risk my life for you My lady, Princess Asagao!”

.

.

.

My chest began to tighten as fond memories replays in my head, showing Milin’s face over and over again.

I can’t stand… I can’t even take off my eyes from Milin… I can’t remove my hand from hers… and I can’t even think properly.

I lifelessly stare at Milin’s cold and pale countenance.

Her eyes are closed like she is just sleeping. She is sprouting a smile with her pale pink lips while blood stains it, her matured but a beautiful face that can make anyone’s head turn to her direction. Her lovely light brown hair that looks like a well served coffee mixed with delicious milk.

Who would even guess that she is in her thirties…?

She could have a good and better life ahead of her… but…

………

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“Asagao.”

…A voice.

“It seems you are well.”

That voice…it’s Violetta and Master!

“Master…and Violetta..?!’

“Yes. It’s us.”

As I lift my head up, I saw them drenched as the rain keeps on pouring in.

I just realized that both of them are strong and knowledgeable…maybe…

I… I immediately let Milin go and run towards Master and Violetta because maybe if them, they can still do something…!

“Master! Violetta! Milin is…please… do something…anything…please! I know you two can save her! Please!”

“…”

I cling to both of them as I beg. I tightly hold their clothes as I look at their faces. I repeat the words over and over while wishing in the bottom of my heart that they can do something, that they can save Milin.

At my pleas, Master speaks.

“Asagao…we are not Gods… Even the Gods of this world won’t and can’t do anything anymore at this rate.”

“W-why?!”

“On top of we cannot resist the natural law, her soul already left. There are  no means of saving her.”

“L-Lies…”

My hands…lost their strength. Even my legs lose its balance and I fell on my knees upon Master’s fact check. My hopes…immediately crumble…

I look at Violetta…for a little hope…

“Violetta…”

“It seems you are fine, Asagao. Milin did her job well. Come, I shall send you back to Astlan Kingdom Castle together with those two elves.”

“Eh..?”

“Didn’t you hear? I am going to send you back whether you like it or not. Fon already got ahead to the throne room where we sensed a large abnormality occurred.”

“Why…?”

“Why? It’s Fon’s order.”

“Why… are you looking at… Milin coldly…why are you…shrugging her death as if nothing…?”

Upon Violetta’s gaze, cold eyes met mine. Then she looks at Milin with the same eyes.

I can’t believe…how she nonchalantly talks about this and that when…Milin is lying dead before her eyes…!

“Why you ask… I praised her for doing her job. She simply did what she vowed for. Don’t get me wrong, I am also sad but I appreciate her efforts.”

“Vow? Efforts? Is that all?!”

“Yes. That is all. In the first place, she isn’t even that important to me.”

“Don’t…give me that… she…Milin is…!”

Thinking how she is cold to Milin how little she saw her, I clench my fist and bit my lips. Milin meant something to me… isn’t it painful…?!

“Asagao…Is it painful?”

“…It is…it…hurts so much…”

“I should tell you this early. That’s not the first time you will lose someone.”

“What…do you mean…?”

“You gave out your words, didn’t you? You said that you are ready for any kind of pain. You said that you will face it with all you’ve got, right?”

“I…I…”

“Fon may have held onto that promise and believes in you. But I’m different. I do believe in you, but I cannot put my heart into it.”

“But…”

“This is the first time someone important to you dies.”

“…”

“Even if Milin becomes someone significant in my life, her death will just pass by and her existence will just swim in the lake of memories in my heart.”

“But…! Why…! Do you need to make that kind of face?!”

I am infuriated. I am angry at how Violetta treats Milin. I glare at her because she is not even trying to retract everything she said.

And to my surprise, she suddenly grabs my wrist and pulls it up, lifting my body from the ground. She looks at me directly in the eyes.

I can feel something dreadful coming from Violetta.

“I-it hurts! A.h..!”

“Look closely into my eyes Asagao. We don’t have any control of what happened. It’s already there! You only lost just one person! But Mrothgir and I have lost dozens or even hundreds of people we care so much, we loved so much!”

“Ah..Ah..!”

Her grip on my wrist tightens as indignation is painted all over her face. It seriously hurts!

Normally, it wouldn’t make me cry over it, but, she… is scary…

The calm and intelligent Violetta is doing this to me is too much. She doesn’t even look apologetic…

Ah…right… even with all of those…smiles she made… she is still… an Arcana Magician that strikes fear to anyone’s heart.

“It hurts! Ah..Violett--! Ow…!”

“I am also fond of you Asagao and if you make me choose between Milin and you. There’s no need to balance the scale as I will let Milin die!”

“Nhhggghh…ow…ow…please…let me go…”

“You should be aware that Fon is extremely attached to you! He is a capable king but he is a failure as a people. But now, Fon is trying to be a better people and strives to be a King that everyone will love. You should know how torn Fon is when he heard the truth about you. You should know how devastated he is when we found you lying, all bloodied in the snow!”

“W…Why…please…let..me…”

“You are everyone’s top priority. Protecting you means protecting Fon’s sanity. As of now, you are Fon’s emotional pillar and a way to change. So that’s why Milin’s death won’t mean none.”

“*Hic* It hurts…*hic* Violetta…*hic*…you’re…scary…”

“Asagao, even if you don’t want to return, I shall make you!”

“…My! …My wrist…!”

“VIOLETTA! THAT’S ENOUGH! DON’T LASH OUT ON ASAGAO!”

As if coming back to her senses as Master shouted, Violetta immediately lets go of my wrist and I fall to the ground on my rear. I immediately retreat my body where Milin is.

My body fearfully shakes as I stare at Violetta with tears forming in my eyelids.

“Ah…Asagao…I…”

“Hii!”

“…”

Violetta tried to reach out to me, but I reflexively draw back further from her.

“Asagao…I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!”

“…”

“I just…”

Violetta lost her next words…

Master put his hand on her shoulder and has her draw back from me and approaches me and Milin.

“Master…”

“Asagao…please…forgive Violetta…. It’s just…we’ve been in a lot of similar situations…”

“But…”

“Please…”

“No…”

“I see. Then, about Milin…”

“…”

Master kneel down in front of Milin.

He stretches his hand towards her body and carries her in his arms.

“I…or even anyone…cannot do anything anymore…but… we should at least…give her a proper burial, right?”

“Master…!”

“Milin was a good friend to you, right? You want to cherish the memories you had with her, right? If you truly appreciate her, you will look forward and continue walking.”

“But…Master…if Milin…if…!”

“If you keep whining about her death, wouldn’t it be disrespectful to her? What do you think Milin’s wish?”

“Ah..!”

“…”

“Not to blame me…for her death…”

“And…?”

“To find…*hic*…my own path…and *hic*… to make everyone happy!...*hic*…and…to save people…!”

“So please, if you truly care for Milin… Answer to her wishes. She doesn't want single bad thing to happen to you.”

“Yes…!”

I can still feel the pain in my heart. The memory of her death is still fresh in my mind like its keep flashing back inside my head indefinitely. I can still see her last smile.

But…

If she wants me to move on…I will.

If she wants me to become happy…I will try.

“Master!”

“What is it?”

“I… will try…”

“As long you do try.”

“Yes…”

I cannot get over past Milin’s death right away.

I know that…

Her death is what paints my mind right now.

I can’t avoid that…

But…

But…!

Even if she is gone…

My memories of her remain… and those memories…will make me stronger…

And by the time I already accepted her death deep inside my heart.

I wish to see Milin’s lively smile in those memories.