After the hot spring incident where Asteria pushed me down but Higan abruptly took her body back and collapsed, she was brought in inside and laid down on a futon in which followed by a whole day sleep like her fatigue haunted her.

Ichirou and Shouko decided to fix their souls, however, since the one who bound Shouko’s soul isn’t here, who is Gria Hellbeing, Violetta together with them decided to pay him a visit today. We’ll be hearing about it this night.

We really don’t know about the process but it seems that it will take several hours before they can fully stabilize their lost soul into their body. Nonetheless, to easily retrieve Shouko’s soul from Flow, I guess things do come to us like a miracle.

But, what does Flow really intended to do, dying like that? I think the answer may lie to Higan.

Hinoki decided to stay longer for Izuna and her daughter sake together with the twins and Sierra. Of course, Alstroe, Topaz, and Mimi are sticking to me like usual. Senya’s group also decided to stay a while until they confirm Higan’s safety.

And, as for me, I’ve been looking out for Higan for the whole day and for the whole night till I fell asleep beside her while holding her hand.

Right now, I just woke up and it still clear to me that the sun hasn’t gone up yet as the horizon is painted in a blanket of stars. I direct my sight to the sleeping Higan and I notice on the other side, Izuna is there, holding her other hand.

It was a beautiful sight of mother and daughter. I suddenly felt out of place…

I slowly remove my hand from Higan’s hand. I couldn’t do it easily because she was holding my hand rather firm but by perseverance, I was able to break free.

I slowly left the room and quietly closed the wooden door panel behind. The dawn chill penetrates my bone and sent a horrid chill down my spine. The baggy shirt and shorts that I am wearing prove no defense to the coldness so I took out my parka from my dimensional storage and wear it.

“…my thighs feel cold too…”

I rub my freezing thighs with my hands to warm them up. They extremely fair complexion becomes ghastly pale from the low temperature. My body is shivering a little and my teeth are clacking lightly.

“Damn it…”

Since I can’t do anything about I just ignore the biting cold, or at least that’s how I plan to. I can’t go back to sleep either and I can’t go back to Higan’s room.

Alright, a little stroll wouldn’t hurt.

With that in mind, I march out of the Fox Manor with stealthy steps making sure no one will notice me. The only thing that I can hear is pretty much my own cold breath.

Hmm…

I think I have a scarf too…

Opening my dimensional storage again, I pulled out a teal colored scarf that I received from Violetta. I wrapped it around my neck lightly and gently. The effect is instant as the fluffy wool expresses its warmth in my neck.

As I prepared myself, I walk in the path of a road of the large island where the Fox Manor is located. It’s a large island next to a larger island where the Beast Capital is located. By its shore, there’s a beach with white sands.

This island alone grows a lot of trees which brings a fresh breeze and not only that, I heard that it has a lot of medicinal plants. There are a lot of bamboos inside the Fox Manor and a large cherry blossom tree but outside reflects a tamed wilderness next to a road.

The magnitude of beauty and usefulness of the forest and plants are most likely to Izuna’s preference.

After contemplating things that happened in the bath, I arrive at the beach that faces the horizon where the sun should rise, however, there’s no indication that it will any moment. The wave of the sea sounds so calming that I felt equally pleasant as I watch and listen to it.

“Fuu…”

I inhaled fresh and salty air.

It’s cold that my lungs felt it but otherwise, it was a good air. My hair white and glossy hair sways in the chilly breeze. Seeing how it flutters, I brush and combs it to fascinate myself with the beauty I am blessed with.

“It sure is beautiful, you that is.”

I jolted in my place as a voice entered my ears. I hurriedly turned around and there, I found her blank and deadpan countenance gazing right into my eyes.

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

She is lightly dressed in a cherry colored kimono she used to sleep. It’s kind of loose with her bare shoulder peeking and her thigh being revealed with the fluttering wind in the slit of the kimono.

I approach her with a casual stride.

“Are you feeling okay now?”

“I feel a lot better than before.”

“I see, I’m glad.”

Saying so, I extend my arms to wrap around her, however…

“…Higan?”

“No.”

She rejected my embrace by taking a step back. Her gaze changes from a simple stare to a pained one. She didn’t avert her eyes from me but it feels like she wants to.

“Stop it, Asagao.”

“What’s wrong, Higan?!”

“I don’t want you doing that to me.”

“But why? Do you hate me?”

“How could I hate you?! Asagao, you yourself know how much I long for you!”

“Then why? You just keep avoiding me! How can I understand you if you don’t say anything?!”

“Are you stupid? You are so stupid! Do I really have to spell out every single thing for you?!”

“What?! You are calling me stupid now?! You are the one who keeps avoiding me every single time I went to you! That’s just plain ridiculous you know! I am kind of hating you now!”

“Ahh…”

“Um…no…that’s not…”

In the heat of the moment, Higan’s face dims and her eyes widen in surprise. I didn’t mean to say that but she really took a strong blow from it.

She immediately recovered from her shock and her face becomes sullen with anger as she marches to my direction.

She pulled her fist as she got in front of me and then…

SMACK!

I felt a dull pain in my cheeks as I stagger. I held into my posture and kept my feet intact to the ground. I just realized that Higan punched me.

I can feel my head being filled with anger too so I also balled my fist and…

SMACK!

I strike back right at her cheek too.

“So that’s how you want it?!”

“Bring it on!”

With both our heads losing its cool, I fought back.

Without holding back but without using any power, Higan and I punched, slapped, kicked, and even headbutt each other.

“You…!”

“Dumbass! Dumbass!”

Higan pulled on my hair and in retaliation, I pulled her while pouncing on her stomach with a punch. She delivers a kick to my flank and I delivered a punch on her face making us both let go of the hair we were clutching.

“Dumb fucking ass!”

“Kuh! Stupid introverted fox!”

“I’m not! You are just a crybaby and super dense to boot!”

“Me?! Who is the one ignoring me the whole time while acting so damn edgy?!”

Higan pounces on me and pinned me to the sandy ground. She slapped my left and right cheeks but I strike her with my fist in the head.

“You’re just a hypocrite! You are just leading me and hurting me on a whim!”

“What the hell are you talking about?! Idiot! Idiot!”

I grab the collar of her kimono and kicked her in the guts that sent her flying. She immediately got back up and readies herself once more as she took a martial arts stance.

Of course, I am not holding back.

As she kicked the ground, I started using Calm Dragon Tempest Unarmed. She threw a punch at me but I dodge it by twisting my body and returning a kick on her body. She lowered her stance and blocked my kick using her arm and grabs my ankle and push it away.

She shifted her body weight and delivers a quick ax kick and I manage to block it myself this time that gave me a chance to strike her in the abdomen.

As my fist landed, her fist then landed my face.

My body is aching everywhere even though I regenerated most of my injuries. Higan is huffing tiredly, the same way I am doing and she is quite battered from our exchange.

We both back away from each other to momentarily take a rest.

“Idiot…I really hate you so much but I just can’t help but love you.”

“How do you expect me to understand that…?”

“You still don’t get it?! How many times I have already expressed how much I want you!? How many times did I felt so rejected?! I know…I said it myself that I will wait for your answer but…that in itself is too hard for me! Can’t you see, I got impatient!?”

“What do you want me to say?! I have a lot on my hands too and my feelings are all over the place!”

“And what?! You’ll keep hurting me like that!?”

“I am not hurting you! I would never do anything to hurt you!”

I don’t know.

What am I even doing to hurt Higan?!

I can’t make any sense of what she is saying!

“You will always show how close you are to me but in the end, you are not giving me any concise answer! You’ll always pull a heartstring from my chest and in the end, you’ll just keep me aside and avoid the topic! Asagao…I’m done with it! I want you to know how I really feel now!”

“Yeah?! Is that what you think!? Then I’ll tell you what I feel too! I’m scared!”

“Scared?! Do you hate the idea of having a relationship with someone younger? To someone of the same gender?! To someone like me?!”

“I am scared of commitment! I am frightened with the thought of commitment!”

I dug up those feelings in my heart.

But it’s the truth. I don’t want to be committed yet to someone. Higan was the first want to convey her feelings to me and honestly, I don’t know what to do or to say. It was my first time so I hold it off at that moment.

Then, I confess to Ichirou which ended up in a rejection.

At that point, I can’t handle my own romantic feelings anymore. I just thought that what if I haphazardly answered to Higan’s feeling, it will only come out as I am using her to get over my own rejection?

I don’t want that!

And at the same time, I cannot commit myself to anyone anymore after that. I was deeply hurt that even up until now, I am still avoiding any eye contact with Ichirou.

I am more weak-hearted than I thought.

Gradually, those thoughts and feelings become harder for me to cope so I shifted my attention to other things. I averted my mind to unspeakable emotions.

“Higan…I…”

“At first, I thought that you and Alstroe are better for each other…”

“What?”

“But as time passes, I grew greedy and I crave for you more and more.”

Higan…thought of that too?!

Surely, Alstroe and I are close but not to the point I can see her as a love interest. I want to be intimate with her in a familial manner, not in a romantic way.

“You don’t need to commit yourself if you don’t want to. Not with someone like me. I was just scared that you too…might disappear abruptly…like my father…like our father did.”

“That’s…the first time I heard of it coming from you.”

Higan sprouted a faint smile on her lips.

It was not sad, not melancholic, but someone who has already embraced everything.

“This crude problem of mine started when I realized that…I cannot understand any of your feelings. Despair invaded my mind. I didn’t know how my father felt that time before he died. I got scared that…you might go away without me understanding your feelings.”

“But…what you did in the congregation.”

“I was desperate. I want you for myself if I cannot figure out how you feel. In the end, I still haven’t got any answers. In the end, misunderstandings ensue rather than understanding.”

I don’t want to say I understand.

Rather, that’s not the word I should be saying right now.

“But now, I am going to do my best to move on from my father’s death, from my obsession with you and develop it to a mutual love. This is now my desires. I wanted you to understand it, Asagao. I am going to further broaden my views, I am going to give attention to things around me, and I am going to make sure that you will fall in love with a proper me.”

Rather than saying sorry, rather than saying I understand, rather than saying to stop, there’s a better word I could think of right now.

Higan understands that I myself is not ready yet but right now, she is not forcing herself but showing how sincere she is in pursuing her love with me.

The only words I can give Higan right now is…

“Do your best!”

“Yeah, I will!”