When was the first time I killed someone?
When was the first time I became so mad that my hand just moved on its own?
These hands that were made to kill, these hands that were made to take away life.
When was the time that I promised myself that I will use these hands to bring down verdict on my own to the people who trample a young child?
Remembering that day, made my resolve not to falter in any circumstances. It’s like a drug for me.
The city is dyed in white. It’s snowing that day. I was just a normal fifteen years old boy in high school. After school, I will always immediately go back to the orphanage.
Whenever I arrived, a girl around the age of seven will greet me. I will pat her on the head and carry her on my shoulder as we play. It was an innocent and happy life unblemished.
“How was your day Kaoru?”
“The teacher praises me again because I am good at math!”
“Good girl, good girl!”
“Su! Let’s play!”
“Sure! Let’s make it quick though, I am sleepy…”
“You’re always like that Su!”
“Sorry, sorry! Please don’t pout like that!”
We will always play together. Most of the time, we play with other orphans too.
It was an innocent and happy life unblemished.
“Su! I want to write a letter!”
“Oh? To whom is the lucky receiver of this letter?”
“For mommy!”
“… I see…”
Kaoru’s parents died in an accident. She doesn’t know about it. I talked to the headmaster about it when the day Kaoru came here.
I’ll treat her like a family too, like the other children here. Since I am one of the older orphans there, they rely on me and play with me. I am happy with that simple life.
One day, the headmaster told me that Kaoru have gone missing. It was getting late and I know better that she isn’t that kind of a child.
How did she disappeared?
I prayed to all the gods and saints that exist! I hope she is okay!
Running around the city, I finally picked up her scent. The scent is somehow clouded and mixed with many more.
The direction of the scent is going to a road in the mountains.
Please…no…
I ran and ran and ran…
Even my lungs are screaming for oxygen I didn’t stop.
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Then I saw it…
With two men that bind her with tapes.
She is screaming and crying…while they mess with her body…
After seeing that scene, my mind became clouded…
.
.
.
What I saw after regaining my senses was a ruptured throat in my left hand and in my right hand is a ruptured jaw. I was in a bloody mess myself but I was not harmed but I am not the least bit bothered by it.
It’s like a natural talent I have…
Kaoru was there crying while looking at me with both sense of ease, but fear was visible.
We came home to the orphanage and talked about it with the headmaster. He wants to keep everything a secret to protect both of us.
Since then Kaoru became distance to others.
I tried to talk to her many times. It was only when she became ten that she was able to open herself up to other but her distrust of people was visible and she rarely talks to me.
There was nothing I can do about it. I am partly responsible for the thing that I have done that night. Whether I did that out of anger or not was not clear to me.
But I am certain that I won’t let that happen again on my watch. As long as I live, I will uphold this promise to myself of protecting people, especially these little children.
When I turned eighteen, a man who investigated the incident about that night approached me and introduced himself as someone from an underground society.
It was the start of my career as a hit man. I told him about my terms and readily accepted it.
Even though this was something Kaoru feared about me, I can’t stop now. I have chosen that path and readily leave trails of blood in my wake.
.
.
.
“I sure do have taken my sweet time. Well… I have to be careful so blood won’t spill on me. Hmm…about ten minutes of torture… crack them and pleaded me for their own death…”
Behind me is a pool of blood.
Mangled bodies and limbs, sliced inches by inches with their own swords.
I won’t tell any further than that. Look at the genre carefully, ok? I did tell a bit but make that an exception…
…Hmm?
Yes, it’s one of my arcana magic, 4th wall break…
Hmm...
Magical beasts will smell the blood and will naturally flock these bodies. I don’t want to clean it up. I just have to make sure we don’t go near here…
Ah…the rabbit…
They’re waiting for me. I don’t want to keep them waiting.
I dash to the location of the rabbit and retrieve it for real this time then I immediately head back to the meeting site.
They have already lit a fire. I like how they took initiative to do this. But… they are standing there glaring at me.
Casablanca is standing with both of her hands placed in her hips and pouts angrily at me.
Hibiscus is standing behind her with an impatient face. Her face is visibly reddish even though she has a healthy tan skin.
I’ll say it again. These two are a good combination.
“LATE! YOU ARE LATE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! HOW DARE YOU MAKES A LADIES WAIT?!”
“Susanoo…you might have your reason to be late… but… um… we are really hungry now… that I feel a bit lightheaded….”
“I am truly sorry…”
I bowed my head, it was worse than I thought. I feel really bad. I shouldn’t have let my emotion got swayed by those buffoons.
They didn’t even resist and panics at my ambush. No, I swear they tried to fight back but… they suck…
“Let’s get started. Please help me.”
It has taken a bit of time pacifying the angry elves. Probably because they are really hungry now that they just urges me to proceed.
I don’t mind them lashing at me. It’s my fault after all.
After removing the fur of the rabbit, we start grilling the rabbit. We stick a thick branch to its mouth through the…They gotten grossed out…that’s natural…
By the time it is ready, they were eyeing on it with greedy eyes. There is a bit of drool in their mouths.
Haa… It can’t be helped…
I split the rabbit evenly for them and handed it to them. Both their portions is only serve on a stick. Asking for a plate now is too much. Hibiscus and Casablanca asks me curiously…
“Susanoo, aren’t you going to eat?!”
“Oh yeah… Susanoo, aren’t you hungry too?”
“Please don’t mind me… I made you two wait for so long that you got so hungry… besides, I can go on with only water for a weeks at best.”
I smiled slightly to reassure them.
It seems that they are too shock to see me smile that they immediately turn around away from me.
I just watch them warmly while they chow down the food greedily.
Even I am in another world, the oath I made to myself will never waver or change.
I don’t want to see that kind of sight again. I will sometimes recall it. I can’t forget about it. Even though it was the day I dirtied my hand, it was the day that would always remind me of my oath.
““Susanoo!””
They called out to me when I was in a deep thought…these two are noisy… but I don’t hate it…
“What is it?”
“”HERE!!!””
“!”
They are giving me a portion of their own food…
“Susanoo…we don’t want you to get hungry too… we want you to eat too… please don’t say that you won’t eat just for our sake…”
“If you think you are someone who can do greater sacrifice for us, then don’t bother! We need to take care of you too so you will always be in the condition to fight for us and serve as, okay?!”
“Ah… then…I shall partake of it too.”
Ah…how unusual… I usually worry about other people before myself… these two worrying about me feels surreal in a good way…
“”So, let’s eat together from now on okay?””
It was their turn to smile at me being dumbfounded at the scene…
They got me good.