My heart is beating wildly, my blood pumps lively, I can feel my mind clearing up as everything I hold dear seems to be crumbling if I destroy myself further. My sight is blurry and my ears are deaf, my feet are petrified to a single place and my hands are tied up by chains.

For the past weeks, I’ve done everything I can and planned carefully to make a huge step to be closer to Asagao, to deem myself worthy of her, to be someone who can understand her, or so I thought…

Before I realize it, I was just running away, forcing myself through things, dragging everyone around me because of my self-loathing and perceived desire of becoming greater. I did a lot of unreasonable ploy because Asagao was doing the same.

There was a big difference between her charisma and mine.

In the end, maybe I was just using my father’s misfortune and demise to fuel my desire of overcoming what’s not even there in the first place.

Confusion and mistakes…

Whatever it is, I cannot take away the fact that I did a whole lot of stupid things. There’s a huge gap between coincidences and fate and in that fact, I haven’t learned the differences yet or I may never ever know what it is.

I am not like everyone who thinks that fate does this for me or did that for me, I simply go by the logic of what my understanding can achieve. If that fails, further knowledge, intuition, or even improper borrowing of intelligence is what I rely on to.

Then, for my final question to myself…

What is love? How does it greatly differs from obsession?

………

I’m sorry…even though I asked such question, I still don’t have any idea how to differentiate them. All my childish claims about them are all fallacy that I can’t even claim any facts about them anymore. How do one fall in love? How does one get obsessed?

I don’t know where to draw the line.

Evil thoughts simply chide into my consciousness, bleak thoughts invades my heart, and I am shackled down to my own foolishness and actions in which I used Asagao as the reason.

My heart is on the verge of breaking…

Breaking into fragments of stained glass, unable to even pick up the pieces and assemble the right pattern. It’s just a dark glass of nothing shining on it anymore…

Or so how it will go…

“Hey, little girl, won’t you lay down and obediently leave this place?”

Will I?

If I leave now, nothing will happen to me. In the first place, this fight is just sudden. I don’t even know this woman named Mimosa in the first place.

As if…

If I do that…then that’s like denying any love I have for myself. In the first place, I haven’t even said that I love myself.

It’s always Asagao…

My whole world rotates on Asagao alone and I didn’t even think as much as for myself. It’s pretty easy to understand and remind myself of that now that I’ve cleared up my mind. There is a lot of things I don’t even understand but do I really need to learn them now?

I want to love myself so that’s why I will fight here for my own cause.

“May I ask, you really plan to kill this woman right?”

“Bad…this is bad! I know that cliché tone of yours. Once I said yes, you’ll make up your mind to save her, right?”

“If you guessed that much, what’s the point of asking me?”

“Buhahahaha! Then, for you, new Beast Queen, I have something to give to you.”

As Flow said those words, he took out a crystal shimmering with a blue glow and throws it at me. Feeling that the crystal itself doesn’t have anything dangerous to it, I caught it with my hands.

I immediately felt what it is…the strong presence of life…

“This contains…a soul.”

“That’s right, the soul of one of those twins with black hair. I’ve kept it to myself just to stir trouble. Pretty slick ain’t I?”

“I don’t understand why do you need to cause trouble…especially to Asagao.”

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“I wonder too. I am just following orders but by chance, I enjoy those orders!”

There are a lot of things that I understand but obviously, there are tons that I don’t. One of those reasons is why do Asagao forgive people. She never forsook anyone and if she does, she struggles to forgive them.

Is it because she is purely good in nature?

I have already established the fact that Asagao is not perfect. She smiles all the time but she literally can’t hide any emotions from anyone, whether it’s joy or rage. I am even aware that she is way pervert than me, taking glances and checking out every woman’s breasts, thighs, or even their butts.

But no one can take away the fact that Asagao has a compassionate heart to the point she is selfless.

So, how do Asagao forgive this types of people?

Because I can’t, and I won’t.

“What Lord Nil wants is that that thing gets to its rightful owner. Now that we, the Order of Arcana lost its purpose of existence, we no longer have anything to do.”

“And you think by doing so, you will redeem every action that you’ve done?”

“Ha? Nah! In fact, I wanted to make everything even worse!”

“Then, is it your Lord’s order to return this?”

“By all means.”

“Hmph, is your lord dying or what?”

“That’s the case, or at least what he expects.”

As expected, their group is falling apart. Based on what he is telling me right now, they are going to disband sooner or later. I can’t grasp the reason why he wanted to do something like this.

Well, never mind…

Without looking away from him, I started walking towards Mimosa and nonchalantly throws the crystal on her.

“Ooof!”

“Hold on to that for a while.”

“I don’t hate this nonchalant attitude of your but I’m literally bleeding all over here…”

I ignored her complains and walks toward Flow, the enemy that I am going to face. By chance, this circumstance made me realize that I have to realize something. It’s quite ironic as I am raging not long ago…

Now, my mind is as calm as a river that flows fluidly amidst a quiet forest.

“I’ll just ask one thing, why do you fight?”

“I fight because I want to fight strong people. Think of me as a vagabond out for a good mettle.”

“And…after that…?”

“Until I die…I will fight. Such as the rules of the wild. I know about your sisters as well and they are quite growing. Fear not for I shall not attack them.”

“As for Asagao…”

“Hmm, I might, I might not, it depends on my mood.”

“I see, then, you shall perish here.”

“Let’s start this battle.”

As what he said, he pounces with his claws held up high towards me. I have to set my confusion aside, I have to set my priorities ahead, and this battle is one of the blockades from my priorities which is to realize what I need to realize.

“[Purifying Flames of the Gods!]”

A wall of flame ascended from my feet and started chasing Flow in midair. As the wall of flames clashes with Flow, he disappeared and shortly, reappeared from his initial position before he jumped.

Seemingly just used his abilities, I charge towards him this time while casting golden radiance around my body, a whirling gold flames.

Seeing that I approach an imminent attack, Flow dodges sideward but it’s futile. I threw his balance off by spraying icicles on the ground that made him slip.

“Ough..! That’s really tricky!”

I don’t need to hold back.

Even though I said he slipped, he just flips his body, stabbed his claws on the ground, fling himself away and ran again. I only heard words from Asagao about him when they fought and I only told her the members of the Order of Arcana that I fought.

To be honest, they are all strong.

Physically, magically, and they defeat us by a landslide when it comes to experience. Their movements are no mere show. They can think fast and act fast all the while maintaining their composure. Their magic power never wavered and their eyes are only set on their enemy.

The one that I fought before, Sistina, is too strong for me. Even now, I am confident that I am going to lose to her. I can’t believe that after running around, prancing here and there, I didn’t manage to do as much as a scratch on her.

Also, the one who appeared after her, the old geezer. He completely deflected Alstroe’s attack. Arcana magicians are truly her bane…

Then there’s also the dragon one who beaten master before…

“Hah! Rend!”

“Tsk!”

Before I knew it, he jumped out from one of the bushes and swings his claws. I was able to pull my soul weapon on time, an umbrella fixated with Ki energy, however, due to a league of difference in strength, I got blown away to the air.

“Not a problem though…”

I used wind magic to created scaffoldings for me and mixes it with a bit of Ki energy to stabilize it since I am bad at using it.

“Eh? Not a problem for me too to be honest.”

He started running to my direction and jumps like a gazelle. He isn’t that fast but it still something I should be wary of.

However…at that moment…he disappeared…

From my sight, his jumping figure disappeared without leaving a trace. He was in my plain sight and I didn’t even blink and yet, he managed to disappear.

“Damn!”

I immediately flew away from my place and set the vicinity in golden flames. I flew lower and set everything in glaciers. I froze everything, the soil, the trees, the plants, everything that could possibly indicate where he is.

If he ever steps on the frozen ground, he’ll slip. If he ever approaches me from the air, he’ll get burned by my flames.

If my guess is correct, he ate his presence along with his visual body or something like that. I’m pretty sure Asagao explained it to me.

And then, as if there’s no way to approach me, he reappeared far away from me.

“Bad…that’s just bad. It seems you have analyzed my abilities well.”

“……”

“Hahaha…but there’s a quick trick I can show you.”

As Flow said those words, he lowers his claws and only glares at me. I erected a lot of ice walls in front of me and kept the fire swirling above me for defense. In this special case, I also hardened the soil below me with Ki.

In my hand, I tighten the grip on my umbrella and braces myself for his attack.

“Ready? 3!~ 2!~ 1!~”

Then I noticed it…

The place I am standing right now is the place where he first attacked me. I heard from Asagao that this man is good at castling things with his tricky power. The Arcana magic that doesn’t just consume food for its gluttony…

A power that also consumes concept temporarily…and distance and locations are no exception…

“Caught you.”

As his voice entered my ears, it was too late. The Flow from afar slowly fades and I was grabbed by the tail.

“The castling’s time expires. Have at you!”

With no time to process any magic, with no time to fully avoid his attack, and with no time to think of any other way, I swing my umbrella to his direction and I hit the claw that he swings towards me.

By that…

I was able to break free, however…

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCKKKK! RAAAAGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

My shrill voice resounded as I was brought down to tears, to hysteria, to utter pain!

Blood splatters everywhere and my mind falls into a complete panic as I crouch down in unbelievable pain that attacks my whole body.

In his hand…is two of my tails…My head…shakily turns towards my rear….

And to my horror…two of them were torn apart and bleeding…