My Name is Nil. It comes from the flower Ipomoea Nil which means Affection and Unity. The orphanage director whom I treat as my father told me that a flower of a morning glory was left beside me when they found me. Along with my flowery name, I have a slender build and a little bit tall with a standing height of one hundred seventy centimeters. Accompanied by such features is my delightful pale skin in which no matter I tried to get a tan, it only turns reddish…and sore…

The problem is obvious, I look androgynous and can’t seem to bring out my inner manliness by appearance. Because of this, I am often teased by my peers and from children in the orphanage.

I grew up not knowing my parents or even knowing their names, less, if they are even alive or not. I am an orphan, that’s I am since an infant. I was taken cared by the headmaster of the orphanage that I was raised in, however, sometimes I couldn’t help to think of what does it feels like to have an actual family. 

The headmaster of the orphanage is a man in his early fifties but he is still healthy and kicking. I always ask him if he is about to kick the bucket but unfortunately, his comebacks aren’t fun…for me that is.

“Headmaster, aren’t you tired yet? You’ve always been on a roll that I am getting a little frightened that you might literally roll.”

“Huh?! What’s this I’m hearing from you? You can’t even build a proper biceps and yet, you talk like some irksome brat.”

“I wonder…why do you have to take it that far to even  belittle my effort in muscle training.”

“It’s basically zero so give up.”

“Ugh…”

I’m sure the headmaster is just shy and acting irritable all the time.

I’m sure…

All that said, I tend to shy away from most people I don’t know. I am reliant on people I only know but because of this. I wasn't really bullied or shunned because I control my surroundings well, however, I feel like whenever I am in a small gathering, my social skills naturally shines covering my shyness.

It’s like I have another personality set for such tasking occasion.

There are times that girls would call out to me and ask me about how I care for my skin or how did my hair turn out to be silky. I don’t have a single clue and at least when you call out to me, please be a confession.

I didn’t have much interaction with my high school classmates but I didn’t really become an introvert. There are times that I’ll go out with some of them for peer reasons which lead to my momentary rebellious phase, which I was able to get rid as I entered college.

I am proud to say that I am good at household chores and a tad bit of carpentry and cultivating the land because our orphanage also sells some vegetables for extra income. However, such trivial things wouldn’t actually be much of a help.

I applied for a part-time job which I plan to save up for my college fees. The headmaster insists that he will pay for it, but I feel like I have received too much from him and want to take off some load off his shoulders.

Since admitting to a college university, things have gotten busier. I was able to study and do my part-time job and at the same time, I was able to help out in the orphanage, barely…

I took the course psychology in hopes of understanding people and to be more sensitive to other people’s feelings. This is also a chance to help rid me of my shyness to strangers and maybe hook myself with two or three girls.

I can’t deny that I am perverted, however, I don’t explicitly shows it to others.

Today, I am on a cruise ship! I am in a high spirit! I am really excited!

Why?

I got to board this cruise ship for free. Some of my college peers wanted me to come on this trip because of some pressing matter about the lack of personnel to be sent to an island for a survey regarding a group thesis.

Well, the foods and beverages that are being served here are free and delicious. Don’t get me wrong ok? I am a really light eater but I can’t get enough of the desserts that they served here.

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This Mille-feuille is delicious. Huh? Was I lured by the sweets? Be real! I’m a man! But dessert is an exception.

BANG!

A gunshot?! What else would that be other than a gunshot?

What?

This can’t be real!

Terrorists?

What chance that it would be terrorism?

High. Very High.

I can feel the blood draining from my face as I watch the spectacle in front of me. There are several men in civilian clothing, however, they are holding some heavy firearms pointed at the passengers.

I am above deck alone and I can see what is happening here and I was not seen yet. Somehow, I  wanted to jump into the ocean but that’s risky so I’ll just find somewhere to hide.

However, that happened…

It’s not like I wanted to do this but I just have to.

I just shot down a terrorist right on the head, his brain splatters on the ground bathed in blood as I shot him point black with a little scuffle with him.

I hid in a closet in one of the cabins but a man inspecting each room found me. My body moved on its own and started scuffling with the man and by chance, I was able to grab his gun and fired it at him.

 Eh?

 I think I threw up a little.

But I don’t have much guilt about this. Maybe because they are terrorists that I don’t think too much about it?

No, that’s wrong, that’s messed up in a sense.

Well, I really can’t say...

That was necessary as it is life and death situation. I have to pull the trigger to save myself.

Oh?

There are only eight terrorists boarded.

One down, seven to go. I don’t know if I should be doing this but I waltz down my way against the six more terrorists. I guess my survival instinct is at full throttle, or not. I’ve been feeling a little hazy for a while now.

Something like there are times that I feel like I don’t have control of my own body. I feel like there is someone else inside me but never really interfered with my life too much.

I was about to shoot the leader in the head from behind. I saw some of the passengers brimming with hope looking at me. That moment, my fate was already sealed. He immediately turned around and...

Ah…I got shot…I got shot.

My vision turned blurry and my head is spinning…

What I saw was a crowd pinning down the terrorist leader. Some people are calling out to me.

No good, it’s getting hazy, I feel cold. A sharp pain is throbbing in my guts. I hate this.

I don’t like pain. I don’t want it. Ever since I was young, pain is always my only vain which makes it hard for me to play with kids around my age.

However, even with this hot and throbbing hole in my body, even with my consciousness giving up from blood loss…It’s just…

What’s more painful is that I still haven't repaid the old headmaster for all his kindness yet. I still have not given my words of gratitude to all the people I know and I haven’t even had any slightest clue about my parents.

I can only blame myself for being shy. I hate this. It’s painful. My consciousness is fading away. I feel wet on my face. Ah. It’s my blood.

I hate this.

I hate pain.

Everything went blank as I succumb to death.

And that’s how my life ended…

But…

Getting back on the current time, it seems we are now in the throne room decorated with an exquisite gold frame, but on the throne, there is no king. The throne room is what you would expect, elegant and adorned with beautiful Baroque era decoration with swirls and cross designs as a motif. There are also weapons such as a sword, spear, battleax and even shield hanging everywhere as elegant decoration. It was really astounding.

The ceiling is high and all were supported by large pillars that its width is three times thicker than my current size.

Mulling over what happened to me won’t get me anywhere. I have this feeling that I can never ever return back. Recalling that vivid memory just makes my stomach, where I was shot, throb painfully even though there’s no more wound to be found.

It only brought me ill and bitter feelings.

“Heroes, I deeply apologize too for the absence of his Majesty right now!”

What? Really now!?

Shouldn't he be the one who has to brief us?

I imagine that this king or his majesty is an old man in his late sixties who looks like ready to fall anytime and ask us to defeat a demon lord or a legendary dragon. That would be the common phrases or cliché scenario that may happen.

The king, adorning a majestic cape with jewel and holds a staff with a large gem on its tip and with a presence that boasts of his position as the top, I hope my imagination won’t disappoint me.

Now that I have taken off my mind in complex things, let us focus on the current situation. 

Right now is...

Wait…!

What the hell?!

I could barely recognize it earlier due to my mind being occupied with my thoughts but, right now, I am wearing nothing but a white shirt, a really big one that looks way oversized for me. From below the hem of the oversized shirt, I can see flawless and unblemished white thighs free of any hair. What’s more astounding is that those cute tiny toes and young and petite stature actually belongs to me.

By the way, back in my world. I will always sleep only in my shirt and underwear.

Going full commando is idiotic because I live in an orphanage, however, right now, this is awfully wrong. I don’t have the standard gear called underwear and I am only wearing this oversize shirt which is only long enough to cover my nether region.

Not that it matters right now, though. The breeze feels good and cool and also, I am missing my trusted junior who is untouched by others for a good twenty years.

I just feel a little vexed.

Should I just accept my situation obediently or not?

I am oddly calm about this but I just can’t wrap around my head that everything is real. Doubts started appearing in my head but I cannot confirm any of it in my current situation.

In the first place, the thought of being alone, surrounded by strangers, is somewhat nerve-wracking or just plain scary.

And there are a lot of soldiers armed with weapons and garbed with heavy armors that coquettishly observes us.

Even when I turn my sight towards them, they immediately avert their gazes in panic.

I wonder…how will everything end.