Cold….
It’s cold…
What happened?
I wake up lying on a cold ground with nothing around me. Not even grasses, trees or a single pebble or rock. It’s like everything around me was gouged out from existence.
I stand up to look for something… just something…
I feel really hungry so I took out some food from my dimensional storage. It was my last meal that I draw up from it. I didn’t mind it too much. I can just buy more in a town or village.
As I walk away from the place I wake up to. As I go uphill while eating my last provision of food, I notice something. From the barren soil I was sleeping earlier, there was a big flower like crater as big as my barrier…
What happened…
“Ack!”
My head starts throbbing painfully. I drop on my knees while holding my head which is in intense pain. After that, I recall what happened that night…
[Blooming Thorn.]
I spoke those words without knowing what it is. At the same time, I activated my barrier in which in its maximum size, housing the devils in parameter too.
Pale blue light surrounds the whole barrier and another barrier appeared around me. After that… I recall the devils disappearing to nothingness?
No.
It’s like… they are decaying…
I know… I said another word after that…
…
I don’t have to think about it too much. I need to go somewhere…
Just somewhere…
.
.
.
Night time has come in a blink of an eye.
My body is tired from walking and I am hungry at the same time, thirsty…
I haven’t seen any villages or towns at all. Not even people or any animals.
Maybe there’s actually one nearby… I should just sleep to stave off the hunger and thirst.
Tomorrow, I will resume finding a town or village.
…
Why am I even trying so hard like this?
.
.
.
It’s already noon.
As I woke up earlier, I started walking again just to fail miserably in finding a place where I can buy provisions…
My head is already spinning and my stomach is begging for something to digest. Even my mouth is so dried up that I will drink anything that can quench my thirst.
…
As my mind thinks of drinking anything, it starts raining…
Forget finding a place to shield myself from this downpour, I was so happy that it rains…
I hold up my mouth open so it can catch droplets of rain. I was able to quench my thirst but I am still terribly hungry…
I take cover in a nearby tree with a huge gaping hole in its base and sit there. I find myself lucky for having this convenient tree at this time.
As the downpour continues, my stomach rumbles for something. I am really getting light headed.
I notice the grasses growing nearby…
I pluck some of it from the ground and wash it with raindrops.
I hesitated at first, but I shove it into my mouth and chew.
Bitter…
Disgusting…
Bitter…
Disgusting…
Ugly…
Liar…
Disgusting…
Liar…
Bitter tears start rolling down to my cheeks as I chew on the nasty grass. I just suck it up and pluck more grasses from the ground.
After that, the downpour still continues so I just sleep in this tree for tomorrow.
.
.
.
As soon as I open my eyes, the rain stopped and there’s a bird magical beast trying to break my barrier. It was a good decision to keep my barrier up as I sleep.
It was nothing more than a lowly magical beast with unusually larger talons and beak. I just use pierce to kill it.
It dies in an instant after twitching a little bit after receiving a sharp drilling attack to its body.
As I watch it bleeds on the ground, an idea comes to my mind.
I haphazardly butcher the magical beast with my barrier for its meat. And after messing up most of it, I got a chunk of bloody meat from it.
Since I don’t know anything about cooking in camping, I just lit up a fire with a gas lantern which I just stole from the castle. After creating a fire from it, I hang up the meat over the flame, rolling it with thick branches.
After a while, the fire went out. The meat is just half cooked. There are still blood dripping from it. But I didn’t hesitate to take a bite out from it. Blood and it’s fat gushes out from it to my mouth as I take a big bite.
The taste is…
Disgusting…
It’s really disgusting…
But I still eat it despite its disgusting taste…
Albeit I didn’t finish it, I stored it in my dimensional storage for later consumption.
I travel again on foot, walking randomly, hoping to see a town or villages.
But before I knew it again, the sun is already setting…
I settled down in another tree…
I wonder how many nights already that I slept in the cold, under a tree.
What kind of stupidity brought this situation to this?
As I think random things, I take out the meat I cooked up earlier to eat. Even though it’s disgusting… I ate it to the very last chunk.
It also quenches my thirst as the blood from it flows down my throat.
It’s a win-win situation…
…
I clench my teeth, I hug myself… tears forms in my eyes…
When did I begin to think of something this barbaric?
I could have a better life than this if I just kept my mouth shut!
I could have been sleeping in a warm, fluffy bed if I didn’t leave that town!
People would start flocking around me because I have this adorable appearance!
I wasted opportunity because of my idiotic crap of being honest and care for friendship!
Closing my eyes, I lay down again to the cold grassy ground of nowhere as tears of regrets and indignation flow down my eyes.
…
When I woke up… I can’t see…
I… am blind…
.
.
.
Why the hell is this happening to me?
What events led me to this situation?!
Who do I blame for this?!
I don’t know anymore!
I don’t know!
I can’t even remember my name!
I am running anywhere right now… blind… unable to see… what’s in front of me… what the future has it for me… I am blinded of everything…
…
Ah…
I remember my name now…
Silly me…
It’s Nil.
.
.
.
How many days now?
I have been walking aimlessly literally at nothingness.
I can’t see anything but I’m fine. The barrier that I have was upgraded after all. I can feel everything inside it. At first, I keep tripping at random things bruising and injuring myself. I have so many cuts in my arms and legs. Some are minor injuries but there are deep injuries too. No, I didn’t trip with those heavy injuries. I was attacked by magical beasts. That’s when I learned that I can use this barrier to sense everything around me.
Ah… yes… I have a skill called heal…
I cast heal at my wound located at my upper arm.
But what I thought it will give me relief, I felt a burning sensation like it’s being wounded more deeply, I stop immediately…
What the hell
What a useless heal…
I have bandages at my storage.
I patch myself with it. I think I did a fine job wrapping myself with it.
I feel sleepy…
I fall down instantly to the ground because of the instinct kicking in.
.
.
.
RAWR!
GRAAW!
WARARRRA!
So noisy…
Shut up…
GARAWAFG!
Shut up…
GRRRRWAAWWWRR!!!
“Shut the fuck up!”
[Barrier Ravage!]
I can feel the barrier that this filthy noisy things around are trying to break, turning into thorns into the ground piercing each of them and proceeds spinning while throwing off the ground.
Ahhh…
The noise is gone. I feel better.
Hm?
Droplets begin to fall.
Is it raining again?
If it is raining… then I can drink water again!
I hold up my mouth and open it to catch the droplets. As a droplet enters my mouth and lands on my tongue…
Disgusting…
The droplets… smell like iron… and it’s sticky…
Disgusting…
I walk away from the place as the smell is getting intense. A smell of rotting…
.
.
.
Walking randomly, I stumble a cave. Judging by the reach of my barrier, it’s rather quite large and it’s hot.
I enter the cave to see if there is something useful or if there is something that I can eat or drink. I have been eating nothing but filthy meat of those noisy animals…
I don’t even cook it anymore because I don’t have anything to use to cook it. But nonetheless, it fills my rumbling belly…
I do throw up sometimes…
…
I go deeper inside the cave just to stumble a large door.
As I try to feel the huge wooden door, I felt there’s a paper hanging from it. I rip the paper.
The door opens with a noisy creaking. Something much warmer comes out from it so I venture deeper.
After a while of pointlessly walking, then going down what I judged is a spiral staircase, I felt the presence of someone… or something… I don’t know…it’s not a size of a human…
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“Hou, a human child enters my cave?”
“…”
“Hahaha! It’s been a while! It seems that the people from above are feeding me a child! What a pleasant surprise from them!”
“What the hell are you talking about… damn it… no food here or water…”
“Oh? Do you dare ignore the True Demon Lord Baal over trivial things as that?! Hm? Child, are you blind?”
“Hm? Does it matter to you? This place… is useless… i’m out of here.”
“You do not know of me child? How foolish of you! If you are lost and ended up here, that means you have broken the seal and presented yourself to me as my meal. Ahahaha!”
“…”
I don’t know what he is talking about. I don’t care. As I turn my heels to get out, something touches my barrier and because the blooming thorn is in effect, it seems his hand disappears.
With a strong howl of pain, the noisy guy squirms in the ground as he curses.
“Girl! What did you do?! I am The Immortal Demon Lord that feeds on thousands of lives. Even if I get decapitated, I will never die! But right now, my hand won’t regenerate! It’s almost like you cut it off from its existence!”
“I’m having a bad day here, please don’t barrage me with your useless complaints.”
“I may be weakened, but I have plenty of usable magic to kill you, girl!”
“This is getting old…”
[Blooming Thorn]
My barrier spreads housing both of us in a flower-shaped barrier. I understand now that blooming thorn is not a skill but skill enhancers that do something in my barrier or heal. I don’t know what it does though…
“What kind of joke are you pulling, girl? What a stupid thing to do to bring me inside of your barrier!”
“This won’t even last long…”
“?”
[Reverse Heal – Death and Decay.]
The supposed heal spreads around the barrier and before it reaches me, I already had another barrier protecting me from its effects.
The noisy guy starts screaming incomprehensible shit and slams at my barrier, I didn’t mind him at all. I just want to finish this…
After the flailing of the noisy guy dies down, I left the place smelling of rotting body…
It’s so disgusting after all…
.
.
.
Cold… it’s cold…
I was stepping into something soft and cold for a whole day now… or is it nighttime?
I don’t know…
How could I, a blind girl know?
But the coldness is so comforting… I feel like my heart is like this coldness…
More importantly… I haven’t eaten for a day or two?
Though I still don’t know anymore…
Being blind, I didn’t panic much… because of it… I can no longer see the faces of people ridiculing me.
Being alone, I can no longer hear anything from anyone.
The only one I need to protect is myself…
From people, from enemies, from painful things.
.
.
.
As I was walking into the coldness, I hear voices of people who seem cautiously approaching me. I can hear them talking so I pay attention to them.
“Sir ---- is it really that girl?”
“Yes -----, an eye witness said that she is the one who killed The Immortal Demon Lord Baal.”
“But isn’t she a little girl?”
“We all can see that. But as adventurers who have taken this raid quest, we need to eliminate her as she is regarded as a walking threat, leaving trails of hundreds of magical beasts and devils. We don’t know, maybe she killed more.”
“So that’s the reason she turned into a Subjugation Target SS.”
“Don’t let your guard down. We are engaging the target name [Blooming Thorn]”
“I see. A beautiful flower Blooming in the middle of the field. With its charm, it will attract everyone just to prick them with its Thorn. It matches the poet a bard sang in the tavern.”
“Even though the death of the Demon Lord Baal is good news since no one can actually kill him, this girl is a walking disaster.”
“Proceed with caution right?”
“Engaging!”
[Fire Ball!] [Icicle!] [Thunder!] [Earth Spike!] [Wind Cutter!] [….]
So on and so forth. A barrage of generic skill names was shouted. All of it bounces off from my barrier. Some tried to charge at me with either, swords, spears or axes. But their weapons met their demise at contact.
I just walk up to them. Some of them run away because of their pointless assaults. Some stay behind the magic casters.
Pointless!
All pointless!
I’m bored!
It’s so boring. What crude attacks!
“Kill them! You’ll feel good when you kill them!”
The voice… appears inside my head again. I am not annoyed. I am glad that it is back. Kill them all and I will feel good? Killing people…
That’s not might be a bad idea.
…
[Pierce Barrage!]
My assault starts at this point. As my thin lances pierce them anywhere in their limbs to stop them from moving around, I can hear horrible shrieks from them. At this point, I should be annoyed, but right now, it sounds like good music to my ears.
“Sir ----! The wounds are rotting!”
“What?!”
“We can’t continue like this! We need to fall back!”
“Any deaths or casualties yet!?”
“None at the moment! We just received this nasty damage!”
“Guh! So powerful… even the barrier protecting her didn’t even let out a single crack!”
“Sir ----!”
“Go! Fall back! Use the teleport stone to get back to the demon capital!”
“How about you Sir ----!”
“I have to try one more time! I am going to hold her off with this single skill!”
[Fire and Thunder Lance!]
It seems the man who is their leader fired off a strong spell this time. My small lance crossed path with it. This time, I was aiming for his neck! He will die for sure.
“For my friends!”
SNAP
Eh?
What… am I doing?
…
An attack suddenly pierces my barrier because of my confusion.
The spell was softened due to its multi-layer defense.
But it explodes right in front of my chest…
It seems that I was attacking someone right now… but I stopped.
“Let’s go now, Sir---!”
“Yes, Close the portal before she can recover!”
“Aye--!”
Ah…
In the midst of my confusion, there are people whose presence, vanished.
It feels like… I just wake up… from a nightmare… I was… about to kill someone…
.
.
.
My chest is hot. It’s throbbing with pain. Warm liquid flows down from my chest…
I am lying in the cold.
What’s happening to me?
Ahh…
I’m dying…
I snap at the very last moment.
I finally realize it. The voices, the hallucinations… It’s just me. It was my own creation from my imagination the whole time. I didn’t completely break.
It’s my win Nil…
Even though… I am dying right now…
This sensation… snow. I wonder how white it is. Or is it dyed with my blood? Hehehe…
No one will save me this time. It’s the end of the road for me.
Idiocy at its finest. I bet it will be a great story to tell children so they will be obedient.
Ahhh…
The pain stops. The temperature must have numbed my senses.
I can still feel my consciousness fading.
It’s a befitting death for me. Alone and probably no one will remember me. If there are people who will, they’ll just forget about me in a year or two.
I don’t hate this.
I have played a game of charade. A game to get favors from people. To be liked, to protect me. Someone selfish like me, deserve this.
I don’t deserve to be a friend of Alstroe-nee and Higan.
I don’t deserve to be Master Mrothgir’s apprentice.
I don’t deserve the treatment King Ashfon gave me.
I don’t deserve the hardworking people that I met.
I don’t deserve anyone.
I can accept this kind of death. A dog’s death. No one will mourn for me. If I am lucky, no one will find this disgusting body of mine.
The suffering that I experience is not justifiable to be spared and receive another chance for a happy life.
I love this coldness. My heart is calm. My senses are numb to the pain that encroaches me.
Snow is falling.
What a special death.
All I can do is to wish.
To wish that the calamity the world will face can be resolved.
To wish that the people I love and care will be safe and happy.
To wish that peace will continue not only to these lands but to the hearts of people.
This life of mine, if and if, it’s born again.
I wish to be bolder.
I wish to be braver.
I wish to understand people well.
I wish to be less naïve.
I wish to be less idiotic as I am now.
And… to be more honest to the people that I loved, cared, and cherished…
My consciousness is at its limit, my mind went dark...
I wish… someone would… hold my hand… when I reach out… like this…
https%3a%2f%2fczedheinelionheart.files.wordpre....jpg%3fw%3d700 [https://czedheinelionheart.files.wordpress.com/2016/06/img_20160813_0002.jpg?w=700]
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Volume 1 End: The Price of Naivety and Timidity.