CW:

Fear of spirits being tormented. merging and plurality. Fear of curses that misgender.

Yrelia doesn’t even try to hide her smirk as I settle onto a stool next to her. Glimmering eyes rolling up and down my… oh. Well… Okay. I guess I let Zigdara bite me harder than I noticed.

“Fun night?” My first lover purrs, hand moving out to trace down and around my shoulder and back of my arm. Brushing up against a few more sensitive spots.

Okay… quite a few more times!

I sigh and can’t help but lean over and pull my first lover into such a kiss, murmuring after I've left her a bit dizzy. “Wonderful, actually.”

She giggles harder, and Tasii wanders over with a plate of like… freshly warmed bread and cute little fruit things. Settles down on my other side. “Don’t remember you coming back. Anything special happen? Other than the obvious?”

And so I tell them about Veletross, what I told her, and the Dream.

Such a sour and annoyed look crosses Tasii’s face. “Well all of that feels… A little less than helpful. Like… knowing about some old Sun Spoken things is okay, but… I don’t like her getting interested in your past. That could be such a shitty thing.”

Yrelia shrugs and takes a sip of her warm drink. “Even if she guesses at it, I think Ina will be okay. Not like the cunt has any way to verify it.”

“I guess?” Tasii murmurs, then leans back and forth in thought. “It could also be a decent thing to keep her distracted. Who knows, maybe she’ll think it’s some deep dark secret great for political nonsense. Never even realize the possibility of Ina being a transgender girl who used Sun Spoken magic to change instead of Cultivation.”

“Aaaaand, Like…” I huff and let out a bit of stress. Embrace a little confidence still brewing from the really great sex and long sleep I just got. “It’s not like it’ll matter if she knows. Even if some old Arudian Law’s might let them try something stupid. I’m Sun Spoken. Good luck forcing me to do anything.”

Yrelia smirks at that, while Tasii lifts a single eyebrow.

“What?” I ask.

Yrelia leans over and nuzzles me into a hug. “It’s wonderful to see you so aware of how amazing you are, that’s all.”

“I… huh?”

Then Tasii’s big wonderful arms wrap me from behind. “You’ve blossomed so much, love.” She murmurs while kissing the back of my neck. “We’re just… glad to see it all.”

“But… Don’t think this means we don’t still enjoy our shy little temple girl.” Yrelia adds. “You’re allowed to settle into that again whenever you might want.”

Oh…

And then I’m hugging them both back so hard.

“Thanks.” I whisper to the two amazing women who’ve always embraced and supported me. “I don’t think I want to be a Sun Spoken all the time. It’s… really fucking exhausting.”

“We can tell.” Tasii agrees. “But we’re here. Always. Okay? Just… let us know when you need us for more.”

“I’ll try.”

And then our little huggle pile is interrupted by an insistent tapping and far off cries.

“Is…” I turn and tilt my head.

Another cry.

“That’s at the front door.” Tasii slides off her stool.

And another.

I move to get in front of her. There is like… a pause and odd look from Tasii as our eyes touch.

“Wait here please.” I murmur and begin brisk movement toward the door. I know she hates that but… If there is any danger she’ll be no more than a worry for us to be distracted by.

Zigdara meets me there just as another little call sounds, muffled a touch by the thick door.

“HELP!!!” Such a strange warbling cry sounds.

“Ina…” My duenna moves up to grip the handle. Peeking out through a side window. “Hold back. I… I don’t see who’s calling out.”

This could be a trap. I hear in her tone. And… and while I hate the idea of her getting hurt I… I might need time to call up and merge with Aceso.

“Okay. Please be careful.” I murmur and take a few steps back.

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A few clicks and clacks, and the locks are undone. Zigdara takes a deep breath, and opens the door.

A pause, and then something small and reflective and… and stupid fast darts between my big duenna’s legs. Scurries into the room before anybody can react and comes barreling into my shins. Not… I mean it’s lighter than a pillow so my backwards tumble is more a terrified reflex, thankfully halted by the wall.

“HELP!” Comes another of those warbling cries from the little… thing?

It’s… so strange. Almost looks like some crab trying to grow… wings? All made up of Gemstone crystals that shimmer and reflect the light of the Everlambs in twisting patterns.

But without another second of hesitation I’m drawing up my Amwella and weaving a song of shifting alongside a melody of shaping to call up my fifth lover and ensure our leg is sharp.

This one is quick and quite expensive. Meant to bubble Her up from the Dream in case of a sudden emergency. It hurts, but…

We can deal with that together.

And before another heartbeat passes the void is filled, and we are quirking an eyebrow while smirking down at this odd creature.

“Ina! G–” Zigdara starts to snap as she moves toward our little friend.

But freezes as she understands what song fades, and see’s the glimmer of flame in our eyes.

“Thank you, but…” We murmur softly as we kneel, holding out a hand to our guest. “This little one thrums with nothing but good songs. It would no more hurt us than you can fly.”

“Helphelphelphelphelphelphelphelphelp…” It almost giggles happily, nuzzling our fingers and thrumming along to the little healing melody we have dancing beneath our breath. Despite its seemingly stone solid state it… its nothing but soft and gentle. Any sharp edges to it are easily avoided.

Why is such an ugly little thing so CUTE! The little spirit coos. And… where did it come from? How… is that the only word it squeaks?

“I… You’ve merged.” Zigdara states as she pushes the door closed.

“We have.”

Zigdara pauses, looks down to stare at the odd creature.

We have promises to keep. The larger thrums. Don’t get distracted.

“Could you please go get Yrelia?” We turn up to face our duenna. “Or Tasii? Honestly any of our lover’s will do.”

“We’re coming!” Comes a call from the hallway behind us.

Turning, we see both our first two lovers moving to join us. Halt as they spot the odd little creature. Eyes wide with fear and wonder.

“Helphelphelphelphelp… HELP!” The little creature titters happily under our touch.

“It’s perfectly safe.” We inform them. “Just… odd. Don’t let its appearance fool you. Nothing but soft songs echo from this vessel.”

Yrelia is, of course, the first to move up. Kneels beside us and looks directly into our eyes. “How’re you feeling?”

“Heeeeeeeeeeelp… halp!”

“Wonderful, as always, when we’re together.”

Tasii steps up then, eyes darting between us and the gemstone creature we pet. “That merger seemed quicker than it should have been.”

We nod. “This little cutie surprised us, so we sang the faster song. But… it’s for the best. If the first of the Zeridii to seek us out is this soft and obviously requesting aid, then we’re glad to meet it together. Avoid confusion and gather as much information as possible.”

“And your Wellspring?” Yrelia asks, eyes finally moving to consider the creature.

We check and… Huh.

“Less drained than expected.” We murmur, trying to hide our deeper worries.

But… of course everyone and the stars above see right through that. How… how losing less than we expected worries us so much more than if this cost us extra.

“Ina… You both promised.” Tasii presses.

No secrets, no deceptions, no hiding thoughts or exchanges when you’re sharing headspace. One of the main oaths to our lovers. The larger spirit presses. Tell them, so we can plan accordingly with those we’ve agreed to trust.

“Of course, just…” We bite our lip as the smaller chews on this. “We don’t know what it means. Are trying to puzzle it out.”

“Did… Could you have simply miscounted the cost?” Yrelia muses, fingers moving out toward the little creature. It pauses its snuggles to… well it doesn’t seem to have eyes but it's obviously considering her offer. Doesn’t take more than a heartbeat to wiggle over and let us both pet it.

We sigh. “Yes. Of course. But we just don’t know how.”

“Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp.” The little creature coos happily under our touches.

“But you have an idea.” Tasii says, seeing right through us. “And you’re quickly trying to work out a less scary one.”

We wince. “Yes. Just… didn’t want to worry you both. Not without considering all possibilities.”

“Alright. Consider away then.” She leans against the wall. “Outloud.”

We can’t help but huff out a mirthless laugh. “Sorry. Just… reflex. Thinking is faster than speaking.”

“Mhm.” Yrelia murmurs. “So… tell us the possibilities.”

“We’ll spare you the one’s we’ve already discarded, as there are a few dozen that have no merit.” We begin. “The most simple and least worrisome is that we somehow burned denser Amwella and did not notice. Without being merged we have no experience with managing our Soulflame.”

“Okay, how can you check to see if that’s what happened?” Tasii asks.

We sigh and shrug. “We already have. Or… have examined our own Wellspring. Curious if Zigdara’s flame gifted us that but… Everything there is as it always is, it’s worth noting that I’ve not encountered Amwella dense enough to matter in this degree since…”

We pause, and… and…

“Ina?” Yrelia lays a hand on our shoulder as our spirits shake.

The World Song trembles, and we feel the Rot at its edges.

“We… it’s… We know we’ve felt such Amwella inside us before but… but can’t recall the memory. We’re sorry.”

“It’s alright. Move past it.” Tasii kneels among us, moves to take up our free hand. “What’s the next option?”

“That…” We whisper, and have to take a breath before continuing. “That we have no idea why. And… and something about the song is drawing our smaller spirit closer to the Dream.”

Yrelia pauses her pets, eyes narrow. “Like… Eventually it will cost very little to merge?”

We can’t help but look down at our first lover’s obvious suspicion and fury, shaking our head. “It’s… No. Not at all. We’d adore that but… we worry it’s in the opposite direction.”

“That she’s being pulled into the Dream?”

We nod, bite our lower lip. Such fear and worry and… and the Larger spirit cannot help but share and voice her terror.

“All other Sun Spoken who summon their Weaver into the Waking World die, as far as we know.” She begins. “And their death is… horrid. Not just in the flesh but also the spirit. They are… sort of an anchor for the ship. A tether. And… and we worry that our Inamatorii’s song, the one that created this vessel didn’t weave a perfect one or… or a repairable one like we thought. But… instead simply wove a more durable vessel.”

Tasii shakes her head. “That doesn’t make sense from just this. The lack of Amwella should make that healing easier.”

“It’s… you’re not… Tasii, love.” We whisper. “We’re not ‘spending’ Amwella like you spend coins. That’s… it’s a metaphor. One that made this simple and… and less scary. This Amwella is ALL ours, and the World Song is our link to these lands. And like all wonderfully woven things… it will not last Always and Forever.”

“And when it tears?” Yrelia moves to touch the hand Tasii holds.

Such tears touch our eyes then. “We don’t know. Not for sure. We… we wove it once. When we first came here. But… we did it from our own Soul, and had to use it to keep our old flesh safe from… from…”

Rot and Ruin. We… the larger spirit remembers that much. Blighted cold tendrils seeking to drag down and away.

“It’s… Why the shards are isolated.” We whisper. “They are the only safe place. Little pins just… barely holding this all together. But… Their flames also burn. Creating ever weeping wounds.”

“And… You’re worried that you’ll tear this World Song? Die like the rest?” Tasii tries so hard to understand this.

We yearn for our Jevita then. How… how she might see so much better. Understand and… and maybe even help us consider this more clearly.

“No. Our death is an almost certainty. Only in full life and blossom could we stave off Rot and Ruin from flesh with our Weavings.” We shake our head and sigh. “The worry is that… that our smaller spirit will survive this flesh’s end and… and…”

And be drug into the sea. To be ravaged and consumed by the Nightmares within the Dream forevermore. Our… the smaller spirit's old flesh being somehow remembered and branded on her soul. Despite this Weaver’s affirmations, adorations, and endless love…. Considered just another monster to be tormented Till Dream’s End.

Such a long and still quiet falls when I tell them that. Even our little Gemstone guest joins in our worries.

“Then why keep merging at all.” Yrelia growls softly. Trusting us but… also…

“We didn’t know, and… and will want to try and sing and weave more understanding from our Dream.”

Tasii rests a hand on Yrelia’s shoulder, stilling her anger. “The larger spirit remembers her past lovers. Even… even if that happens to our Ina you should be able to protect her from that.”

We sigh and shiver. “We’re not sure. The… that curse is… it goes deep and… and it might curse her too and… just like what happened to them and… and…”

But then there comes such an anxious knocking at our door and more shouting from beyond.

We all freeze, then we look to our lovers. "May we handle whatever this nonsense is?"

“We’ll sit down with Jevita and Kque later to go over this.” Tasii nods as she and Yrelia rise to move back deeper into the manor. “Make sure you give yourself ample time to make sure all the knowledge is left behind if you separate.”

We nod and stand. “Of course.”

Then turn to face whatever comes after this first vessel of the Zeridii. Nudging the little cutie while we hum a request for them to wait while we deal with this next guest.