CW:

Talk of Sex, skipping over quick sex (ehehehe woops), And talking about your gender to strangers. Worry about being taken back to abusers while coming out to people about being trangendr.

“Good morning.” I murmur to Zigdara as I find her in a quiet room doing those gorgeous and otherwise very distracting morning stretches. She pauses and moves to stop, but I hold up a hand. “You can finish. I just… am trying to get everyone gathered into one spot as they wake up.”

She nods carefully while adjusting to the next pose, “I take it the Dreaming went well?”

I don’t even try to keep the stupid grin off my face. “Wonderfully. Perfect. And… I want to share it all with my lovers at the same time.”

She raised an eyebrow, her own lips quirking a touch. “I take it Rahdian will attend this as well?”

I sigh and roll my eyes. “Yes, but not for that reason. And I’m going to make sure I take everything extra slow for a variety of reasons. So... no teasing her like you would me, okay?”

She does grin then, “I’d not even consider it, Ina.”

I give her a serious look that is spoiled by my bubbling smile. “If any others stumble this way before they find us, make sure they know about the meet-up?”

She agrees, and I return to Rahdian. Find her just where I left her. Sitting in the kitchen as she considers one of the two mugs of steaming somethings.

“So…” I murmur sliding into the stool next to her and laying my hand on the countertop, palm up. “Just like I thought, she was up and doing her Ki Ritta things.”

She nods, and reaches over to take my hand. “I… Are you sure she… she won’t, um… be really upset?”

“Yes. With absolutely zero doubt.” I whisper back immediately. “It took her a bit, but… she’s already come to understand the wrongs of our past. And not just for us but… but for the rest of them. It’s why I… I might…”

But I trail off as I hear footsteps, and glance over to just as my second lover enters the kitchen. She pauses to give us both a considering look before murmuring. “Morning. You’re both up… earlier than we expected. Is everything all right?”

I nod. “Perfect, we're gonna have everyone meet-up in the lower study once they’re awake to talk about it.”

Tasii purses her lips, eyes locked on Rahdian. “Ina… I think Yrelia would adore waking up to your love. Would you mind doing that, taking your time even?”

I pause, look over to Rahdian. “Of course, unless… Rahdian, is this okay?”

She smiles and lets out a huff of stress. “Yeah, actually. Thank you.”

And so after a quick hug and kiss from my Tasii, I leave them both to go find my first lover.

I know Tasii wanted to make sure Rahdian had the space to consider what she might want to share, and while it would hurt for the only girl like me to withhold this truth from my lovers… I get it. And it’s probably really good that Tasii is here to make sure my infectious excitement doesn’t push her into sharing things with girls she just met.

Even if they are the best people ever.

Yrelia is snuggled deep in warm covers when I find her. Almost… Well, any other morning I’d just burrow deep to nuzzle close. Consider doing that as a delayed wave of weariness starts to bubble up. And… like why not? Actually?

I giggle and wriggle up and under arms and slide legs between hers. She mumbles in sleepy surprise but… nearly immediately seems to know which of her lovers is here and envelopes me. Warm hands slipping beneath my soft nighttime clothes as her lips press into my forehead.

“Morning love.” I whisper into her chest.

“How’d go?” I think she asks.

“Wonderful. Perfect even.” I wriggle up to nibble on her neck. “We’re… going to gather all my lovers to talk about it in a bit. Tasii is sitting with Rahdian now to make sure I didn’t lure her into oversharing.”

One of Yrelia’s hands curls up through my hair as the other finds my hip. Pulls us closer. “Did you fuck?”

I can’t help but sigh through a giggle and I continue my soft affections. “No. She… I’ll need to be careful. She’s been through a lot and I want to make sure to not make her feel like she needs to do that to travel with us.”

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Yrelia rumbles in agreement, obviously enjoying this soft awakening as I feel her warm under the rising of deeper desires. “Like I did with you. Mhm.”

I would have very nearly jolted to a halt in sudden worry and surprise if it wasn’t for my Hetaera training. “I… what do you mean?”

She… no. She can’t have guessed at Rahdian’s past. No. That’s…

My first lover hums lightly as my hands wander about gently. “You want to give her everything along the Paths, but… know what it's like to feel like you need to earn that. Would rather you both be a bit hornii and frustrated than risk her crafting a mask to hide behind when around you.”

I do freeze at that. “I… But… we just met. I… isn’t that a bit…”

Yrelia pulls me back from her neck, adjusts to cup my cheek in her hands. “It can be, and you have a ton of other worries to manage, but… finding someone who shares such a unique aspect is rare. Tends to make us latch on early. It's beautiful to watch you do this well.”

I bite my lip at how easily she sees this. Even if Yrelia is talking about us both being Sun Spoken and not… not us being transgender. “But… What did you see in me?” I whisper.

She sighs and wriggles closer. “I… don’t have a good past with my mothers. And… am a bit like you in that neither of them birthed me. They also had a plan for my life that I couldn’t stand. So I left to find myself along the Paths. You were cute and enticing from the first second you stumbled into our lives, but when you said you were leaving Lyttoral forever I just… had to help. Wanted to do anything to see one like me find some easy happiness.”

I pull up to touch lips gently to hers, murmuring a soft but insistent, “Thank you. I… Aceso might have sparked my new life, but… you tended to the flames. Kept them burning through what might have been cold and horribly lonely nights.”

She giggles into the kiss. “Inaaaa… Charm me like that and I’m going to keep you here all morning.”

I can’t help but pull her closer. “Would you really need all morning to–”

She doesn’t. Fuck. Yrelia may be able to keep me entranced at her leisure, but… she can also melt me into a puddle quicker than I can honestly believe. Even have time for a quick wash before going out to find that Kque and Jevita are still asleep.

“So… Are you still comfortable sharing what we talked about?” I ask while moving to take up a stool adjacent to Rahdian and Tasii.

Rahdian takes a deep breath but… nods. “Yeah. I… I do. Talking with Tasii helped a lot.”

After that, well… we have breakfast. Share small things and warm company. I can tell Rahdian is both happy to wait but… also eager to see this done. We let Jevita and Kque sleep though. Turns out that while Thodep is like… really wonderful for her, this has been a lot. Getting to just… rest in the arms of the girl who believed in her and accepted her before anyone else, save Lule himself, means a lot. They’ve also swapped places with Kque’s moms and the… the…

Anyway, she also got to sleep nuzzled up to her big child at the same time. Thank fuck even this manor’s stables are heated with weird Cultivation things. So by the time they wake up and come in they’re more than happy to enjoy their breakfast and/or lunch things in the basement study.

I’d love to nuzzle into my first lover for this but… no. Rahdian and I take up seats on one of the couches big enough for two. Yrelia sits close though while Tasii and Zigdara decide to stand. Jevita and Kque sit close together on the other big chairs with little fruits being nibbled at.

“So.” I start as the room goes quiet. “Just to… get this out of the way first. Things went well. Very very well. We didn’t have time to meet up with our little cutie, but it is happy to wait for the next time we Dream.”

“And… the Weaver Shards?” Tasii asks.

I look to Rahdian. “Well… Aceso adores you all. And I expect things to go better next time. They really needed to share those memories and talk about their past.”

Rahdian lets out a relieved breath and nods. “Yeah. Same… both of mine were a bit flustered at the end of things but… yeah. Especially after… um…” She struggles to steady her words. “When they knew… knew…”

I squeeze the hand I hold in support. Can literally hear such a song of fear and yearning scream from this amazing girl.

“When they knew I’d be safe.” She finally gets out. “And that you’d never try to make me go back.”

A long pause hovers. Like… like staring down at the water after climbing a particularly big rock. The friends below waiting to welcome you but… between you and them is such a gap. A space filled with all her fears and worst possibilities.

“I…” She whispers, struggling to see the chance of love and life and… and all the good stuff!

But… I won’t push her. Fuck, would that be the worst thing here. Can only nudge her with a confident grin when she glances up from the floor at me.

She swallows, and forces out the words. “I’m… I’m like… like Ina. Not… not just that I’m a Sun Spoken too but… Born in a body I don’t like. Or… or that I didn’t like? I… But I’d not really seen myself in the mirror until recently and…”

She shivers once, curls in on herself a bit without letting go of my hand. “Anyway. I’ve been wandering about while… while their magic changed me. Slower than Ina’s was but… well I can see them now.”

Tasii’s eyes squint in both worry and confusion. “I… I’m sorry but… I’m confused. So you're transgender but…” Then her eyes move to me. “How are you near Rahdian? She saw Zin as what he wanted to be, so–”

“Oh fuck!” Jevita’s eyes are wide as the moon as her yelp interrupts Tasii’s question. Turning all gazes to her.

Our brilliant lover, even as the most tired girl here, understands so quickly.

“Yup. And before you guess the rest…” I wink at her, then turn a careful look back to Rahdian. “Let her finish.”

“I…” Rahdian whispers, takes a deep breath and pulls back into the couch more. “Can you finish? I’m explaining this horribly.”

“You’re doing great, seriously.” I murmur back. “No need to rush. Just… take your time. Use the words that help you better explain it all. Don’t let our Jevita startle you too much, she’s just… really smart.”

“Okay…” She replies, visibly forcing herself to relax. Takes a second to consider, then turns to look at the big duenna leaning against a bookshelf. “I… It’s kind of funny, actually. That despite everything, you managed to find us both.”

Zigdara’s curious regard snaps to alert focus as she too, suddenly understands.

“H–” She starts, but very quickly and with an audible click of teeth stops the old name from lashing out and hurting Rahdian. Even manages to cover it as just an exhalation for anyone not paying attention.

Rahdian nibbles at the side of her cheek while looking down and away. “I’m sorry. I… I didn’t mean to worry or hurt anyone. I just… I couldn’t stay. Not… not…"

“You… You’re like Ina?” She rasps into the quiet.

Rahdian nods. Still caught between fear for what Zigdara could say and… and beginning to feel the hope of what good things could still await when she lands.

“I… yeah. I didn’t understand at first. Just… Did everything I thought everyone wanted and let them make me into what they needed.” She whispers. “Thought my… me wanting to just… be like everyone else outside was normal. Jealousy and spite and… and then just… nothing. When I realized all… well most of the others didn’t seem to be like me. Things stopped mattering. Until… until the day I… I just…”

I lean just a touch closer, wanting to offer her anything she might need but don’t want to press if… I mean… she’s had people she was close to hurt her and…

But she very nearly slumps into me. Easily overwhelmed by the sudden focus on her. “Then I found a shard. And in the Dreams they… they saw me. The real me. Understood so quickly what I was. Then they started to help me. Taught me how to gather Amwella and… and run.”

I wrap arms about her, welcoming this incredibly easy embrace. She’s bigger than me by like… a lot. Everyone kinda is. But… we make it work.

Zigdara nods, swallows, and whispers. “I… I’m so sorry.”

Rahdian takes a deep and unsteady breath before looking back to Zigdara. “Just… Please don’t try and make me go back. Please. I… I won’t… I can’t…”

“No.” Zigdara very nearly snaps, but gently. “Never! I… I’ll only mean to do the same for you as I’ve done for Ina.”

Rahdian studies her as the room goes quiet.

“She means it.” I murmur. “She’s sticking around to keep me safe. That’s it. Arudia… became a dangerous place for me about the time we crossed paths.”

“Yes. Exactly.” Zigdara nods, moving to take a step closer but, thinking better of it and pacing back a step. “I… what… I’m still… I have a lot of old teachings to unlearn. But the more distance from there, and very patient people, have shown me the mistakes of it. How much it hurt Ina and… and the others.”

Rahdian narrows her eyes in thought. “I… I mean… but it isn't… I mean I hated it for my body but…”

“But nothing. Rahdian.” My wonderful first lover intones so gently. “Taking away other people’s lives like that is wrong. You, and all of them, deserve to choose what life to live.”