Content Warning:

Dream attack, torture.

After that she’d asked if we didn’t mind twice more, and I’d offered three times myself before we had even set up camp. Tonight was one of those three. She obviously wanted to give us space if I wanted to ask Yrelia for a more eventful night, but was also very good at judging what nights those might be. I’d never felt the need to refuse her.

They are both bigger than me. Not just taller but with… just… more of them. And I admitted shyly once to Yrelia that being squished between them, especially on colder nights, was kind of amazing. They also both tended to cuddle very close in their sleep and I always seemed to end up in a tangled mess with them. Their arms sometimes around me, other times across me to hold each other, and our legs were always a jumble.

Once… I’d woken before anyone else and found my head down at level with their chests, and looked up to see them both fast asleep with their foreheads touching. It was super cute and I was able to keep that memory fresh all day as we walked.

Tasii never presses for anything more, never wakes up bothered or frustrated with my… um… lack of asking if she wants to join Yrelia and me in even more intimate things.

Tasii is really wonderful and kind and very pretty and… well… Yes, I have absolutely found my thoughts wandering into half daydreams of what it might be like if she and Yrelia decided it was beyond time to take that step and just... like... forced the issue. Especially during nights like this.

As I lay there between these two amazing women, woken up by a rather large gust of wind and the complaints the trees make back, I understand why.

That’s why they never ask, at least not with words. Yrelia’s half understood explanation of her unspoken offers to the other women replays, albeit groggily in my mind. I wouldn’t be able to refuse them, and they know that.

Silent offers, made to us both. May I join you?

First answered by Yrelia. I’m open to it when Ina is.

And then by me. I’m… not sure I’m ready, but snuggles sound nice! Probably… I’ll be more comfortable with that later?

I’d never dealt with this back in the temple. Never even thought to look for it. I mean… I totally inferred bad things from others' unspoken looks and little actions, but it was always just fear of rejection and scorn. None of the males even tried it, at least not with me. It didn’t feel like messages! And then there was Jawdat… No. Fuck that. I don’t want to think about that.

And then I begin to wonder about unspoken communication in regards to things other than sex, and all the little hidden meanings and messages I’ve probably been missing.

I’m probably just… like… really bad at all this. I decide as my brain wanders odd pathways betwixt dream and muses before sleep retakes me.

I sit, very confused at the sudden dip into a dream with Her. I’m kinda sprawled out on my knees, and before I can organize my thoughts I can feel Her at my back.

A hum echoes as She winds circles around me, and from Her I feel… joy? No… Bemusement. A hint of satisfaction at something thrums from Her.

I try to keep my eyes down to avoid direct contact.

Dangerous fingers run through and play with my braided hair, talons lightly graze my skin as She trails them down one cheek.

I can’t help but flinch at Her touch. She seems so much more real now.

Playful annoyance. Pulses at my reaction

“S– sorry…”

She tries to angle me to meet Her gaze. I can’t help but squirm away in panic. The memory of the last time She forced that connection dredged up in a sudden flash.

A huff, then She releases me without a struggle.

I brace, terrified that She’s going to be angry, and try to hurt me. That She might try to change me back if I–

After a moment She begins doing… something. The ground gives way a little, and becomes warmer. It’s… sand? Then she drifts to hover behind me, long arms wrap around me while Her fingers dance across the newly formed dream sand, and where they touch glowing script is left in their wake.

It takes a second, but then I can make out words… Arudian? No… Amwellian? I’m not sure. I don’t know how much of this dream is just… like… my mind trying to make sense of Her.

I take a deep dream breath, and focus. Read the message.

“My Challa, stop resisting.”

Ch-Challa? I understand all the words but that one. I take another deep and steadying breath. She curls around behind me, listening in silence as I reply.

“I’m sorry. You're very scary and… you hurt me. Last time you looked into my… my soul? Please don’t do that again.” Deep breath, and then I add. “I wanted to thank you though! For changing me. This body is so perfect and–”

Her hands curl around mine, an interruption. A wave of Her fingers erases the words and replaces them with new ones.

“Of course! Yours was such a gorgeous loving soul trapped in a cursed form.”

I sputter at that. Try to recover and answer, but before I can another line is added.

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“I am so glad to have found you and made you mine.”

A cold spike runs down my spine. Deep breaths.

“Y- Yours?”

She pulls me closer, radiates a warm and excited joy as fingers once again twist through my hair and talons slide across flesh.

“Mine,” A growl, as real as all her other thrumming passions accompanies the word as it drifts into clarity on the sand. “Now, let me finish shaping your mind.”

“Um…. But… I…” I try to sputter back.

But by this time I’m trapped in her embrace, and she’s beginning to turn me to look at her.

“Please.” I whisper as I’m shifted, and squeeze my dream eyes shut. “I don’t want you to do that again.”

Talons run down my face, over my eyelids, and another rumble pulses from her. A warning. One that feels like ‘Don’t make me force these open.’

At that moment, I am back in Lyttoral. Back where I have no choices. My body and soul and everything else I am is only as good as those who want to use it.

“Can’t I just… be me?” I stammer as I feel water gather beneath my eyelids, “Live as me?”

She pauses as little tears try to gather beneath my ethereal eyelids, are unable to be trapped, and begin to flow freely down over my cheeks and her fingers.

A single finger wipes at my tears, so so gently…

“Please don’t change me–”

I’d read all sorts of books about wildlife. They weren’t my favorite, but I went through a phase early on in my youth where I loved big forest Cretillas. I think it had something to do with their long delicate, yet dangerous feminine, grace that scratched a developing itch. The eight limbs were also very cool!

So… There is a certain kind of Cretilla that loves to stalk the colder beaches and crack all sorts of hard-shelled sea life that washes ashore open for their meat. It always fascinated me. This beautifully agile beast of prey wouldn’t hunt other tundra creatures, but would instead spend most of its energy prying open some big de-clawed crab thing or some such for its hunk of meat.

That’s the horrible memory that races through my mind as She rides me to the ground, multiple talons digging into me, trying to peel my dream eyelids open as pulse ripples through the dream.

I scream, try to fight, but my arms are held fast by countless other hands and arms.

It hurts, oh fuck it hurts! But this is a dream? How can it hurt so much if it’s all just a dream!?!

But… these must not be my real eyelids. They must be a metaphor for… something? Because she doesn’t just rip soft flesh free with sharpened claws.

She pauses, and through a pleading whimper I feel a caress over my eyelids. An offer.

Stop fighting, and the pain ends. I imagine She says.

I shake my head. Blubber out a “Fuck you.”

A sigh. Then I feel her presence lay across me and… Fuck! I guess She has a mouth now because next I feel Her bite into my face with really really sharp teeth. She tries to leverage them against my nose, and will occasionally try to slide a thin talon beneath the rim, and when it doesn’t work she’ll shift and work on my other eyelid. After a few more eternities of my screams and pleading and eventually just sobbing wails she pauses again.

No anger ripples out. She just… thrums with a sort of playful anticipation. She’s… oh fuck She’s enjoying this! Doesn’t even seem to consider offering me a way out of this pain anymore, doesn’t seem to want it as she tap tap taps my eyelids with one talon. Considering how to crack me open like some beached clam.

Everything shakes a little, and I feel her mood fall. A huff of aggravation roles through her, but then she seems to regain a tumble of joy as she leans down to me again.

I brace for pain, but instead feel Her lips press down onto my scarred and sore eyelids. A… kiss?

Then I’m awake.

“Ina?” Tasii breaths, barely a whisper as her hand caresses my cheek.

Tasii curls beside and around me, The Julo tree creaking and groaning so far above her, sleepy worried questions sitting unspoken behind her twinkling eyes.

The dream… the night terror… weighs heavy, then begins to fall away. No. I need to– remember. Fuck it hurts. I don’t want to forget… but…

Holding onto the memories is like trying to grasp a heavy rock still hot from laying in the sun. Too heavy and painful.

“You okay?” She mouths.

I try to focus on it, try to recall what… I open my mouth, blink, and my eye sticks for a second. I wipe away fresh tears with my sleeve.

Why am I crying?

“I…” I shake my head. “I can’t remember.”

Tasii tilts her head, a bit of worry in her confused look.

“Thanks for waking me.” I mouth up to her, pull her hand close to hug it.

“Welcome.” She manages a little smile. “Need anything?”

I wipe away more old tears I don’t remember shedding, “I… I don’t know?”

“Hug?”

I nod furiously. “Mhm. Yes please.”

She takes me into her arms, and through the warm embrace I feel a low thrum echo from her, a spark of vibrancy I’d only felt in two others.

Oh… Is this her Amwella? It’s… different from Yrelia’s. But I can’t really tell how. It just… is? It doesn’t matter… It’s so warm. So inviting. I just… want to snuggle closer!

Her legs wrap around and through mine. It’s… it’s not the first night I’ve rolled over and snuggled up to her. That we’ve ended up tangled in a mess of arms and legs with various bits pressed close. But… tonight… Fuck this warmth is new. Or at least it’s the first time I’ve been this distracted by it.

Then Yrelia makes a noise, and suddenly she’s shifting behind me. There is a moment… a… an old panic. Where in my groggy confusion I worry if she’ll be upset by turning to see me so cuddled up to Tasii instead of her.

But then one arm is over and around us both.

“Everything okay?” Yrelia murmurs as a hand crosses over my head to push Tasii’s hair from her eyes.

“I think so.” Tasii replies, shifts so I’m able to turn to see Yrelia propping herself beside us, “Just a bad dream I think.”

“How bad?” Yrelia notices my still red or wetish eyes. “You alright? Need to talk or…?”

I make a little noise of affirmation, “Tasii woke me up. I don’t even remember it. ”

“Want some water or something?” Tasii asks, reaching overhead to a little pile of possible late night needs.

I nod, take a moment to drink.

“Tree is loud.” I whisper, passing back the pouch of water. “It’s a little scary.”

Tasii sighs, then chuckles. “Sorry. I thought you’d like it. Should… is it too hard to sleep?”

I shake my head. “It’s fine. Getting used to it.”

Yrelia chuckles, leans in to nuzzle the back of my neck, whispers in my ear. “Anything I can do to take your mind off it?”

A spark jolts through me as I feel her Amwella flare as she presses close. Fuck that’s… That’s the most direct she’s been in a while. Runs warm fingers down my arm in a seductive caress. I only let out a little squeak, more so at the sudden pressing of the two flames than her unexpected offer.

Tasii huffs out a sigh, “Really? Yrelia?”

But… her own Amwella flares in turn with Yrelia’s. They begin to sing in silent harmony.

“What?” Yrelia giggles into me. “I’ll make sure she passes right the fuck out. I won’t take more than a few minutes or–”

“Only if Tasii wants to stay.” I whisper.

That causes them both to pause, I fight to resist burying my face as I feel a blush begin to burn.