CW:

Nightmare scary things. Mention of past suicide attempt, self-harm in a Dream, worry about consent things with a Amwella spell (which actually totally does not create consent issues but was instead a gaslighting attempt to invalidate past embraces).

The Storm dances betwixt playful indifference to my recounting and thrumming fury. One half nuzzling soft tides around my waist while the other thunders and roils all around.

But… they’re both so distant. My lack of Amwella makes the Dream a dark and cold thing. So hard to… to hold onto myself and understand everything.

“Sorry. She… I’m just… It’s hard to find someone to replenish the Wellspring now.” I murmur as I slump down into the water’s embrace.

The Dream twists, and then they’re both beside me.

One of them is tall and full of lightning and fury. A godthing not of flesh but of literal storm clouds and golden-blue blazes and barely controlled aggression. But… not at me. She loves me. Quite a bit, actually. I wouldn’t believe it if I literally couldn’t feel her thrumming adorations. But… She can be scary sometimes…

The other is… melty? That’s the best word. The waters all around us are kind of Hers… but also not? Cool and soft and so full of snuggles balanced only by an endless ache of pain deep inside she keeps trying to find. A thing of memories that just… slips from Her grasp as she tries to understand why something like that could hurt so much.

So like two parts of any real seaborn storm. The fury above and the thrashing waters below.

Your spark-call will entice most women, lover. The fury kneels beside me.

I shake my head. “No, I told you I’m never doing that again.”

But… This is really bad. Your wellspring is nearly completely gone, love! The melty one nuzzles close and picks up a hand to nibble on fingers, cool teeth sending ripples of muted Dream pleasure through me at the touch. It only skips using words and asks their Amwella directly. Just… Cutting through all the nonsense! No one is forced to do anything!!!

“That’s not the way they described it.” I murmur, looking down to the waters around us.

You would take their word over ours? The fury growls. Especially after what they tried to do?

I sigh a look away. But… My thoughts are filled with disagreements. How they… they didn’t even tell me what happened until weeks later. And… and the Storm didn’t explain until like… a few weeks ago.

The Spark Call. A pulse of pure melted Amwella sent from one soul to another. In this case, a request to make love and share soulfire with me.

“It’s what got us in this mess in the first place.” I grumble. “If… if we’d not… if I’d not let her see so much of my scars she’d not have thought to ask me to…”

To share a night of passions with my flesh revealed. Then… then she…

The Dream roils and growls in response to my shift into painful memories. Turns from rippling waters to a horrid slurry muck of nightmare filled waters. The fury of their storm is calling out to me as my legs and hips fully get gobbled up by the darkness. Fighting to be heard as the pain drags me into the nightmares below.

But… Maybe I deserve a nightmare tonight. Should just suffer the pain of it to make sure I never forget–

LOVE! The Storm thrums, and lightning cracks down and around, lights up the Dream and burns away the clawing horrors gathering at my spirit. And I get to see them in all their beauty and terror. Face and body and spirit a united thing of shared anger and worry and protective affections.

STOP.

Talons dig into my chin as they grip it, dragging me up and above the waves once again.

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Just like that first night when… when I’d decided to just… let the sea have me. End the pain in the only way I knew how.

This makes it harder to save us from my own wretched despair as the waves twist up after me, but they do it. And I can’t help but cling to their everything. Marvel at… at just how much more they are when they are together like that.

Not… they’re still two spirits. Always. And I’m not sure that could or should ever change. But… normally their differences keep them so disparate.

A Storm above and an Ocean below, embracing everlasting.

So beautiful it hurts to behold them clawing to rise above the nightmares below. To… to understand this amazing duo wages a constant battle with some other part of their past. Knowing full well they’ll never win. Never heal. But… for whatever reason they will not stop rising above the despair below.

For now and evermore this Storm will not surrender to the muck.

Then we break through, and are crowned by the twilight of the Dream above it all, and almost immediately they split.

The fury growls and hisses at me, wordlessly screaming Her anger. While the melty one clings as sobbing fear overcomes her at what I almost subjected myself to.

I slump into them both. “Sorry.”

The fury calms and wraps herself around us all. It’s not acceptable, but I forgive you. Always.

The melty girl wriggles closer. Please take care of yourself better. We can’t follow you to the Waking World. We… I can’t stand the idea of you hurting yourself more!

I cling to them. “I won’t leave you both like that. Never. I… I just…”

Hurting yourself solves nothing, and you are not owed more pain! The fury hisses while pulsing with similar fear. Find a nice girl who finds your height and frame as gorgeous as we do, and use the Spark-Call.

“But–”

You’ll turn her into a melted mess of pleasure with the techniques we’ve shown you, then leave. Her disappointment will be that she’ll never get to enjoy your touch again. The Spark Call is NOT some magic that robs anyone of free-will. Simply presents them with the question. Anyone can refuse it.

“B–”

NO!!! This is YOUR body, and they hungered to feel you pleasure them. To… to not only reject a lover after seeing their deepest scars, but claim all past embraces were mistakes is NOT fair to you.

“I… I can’t…” I try to pull free of them, but the Storm only unifies to pull my gaze to meet theirs. I feel the tears fall then as the memories flash. Twist and act as so much chum to the horrors below.

But the Storm does not release me. Doesn’t let me pull free. They were petty and shallow spirits. Lovers should be cherished regardless of scars and ailments.

I… I can’t disagree with them. I know they’re right. But… My heart and soul still ache at the memory of the rejection.

A long pause passes, and the Storm wiggles out into their two halves. But… move to still embrace me. Let my mind work through and over the pain.

Please? The melty half whispers after a while. I… that cold ache is just going to keep getting worse and… and we… we don’t want you to… to…

I sigh and return their hugs. “Okay. I… I think there is an inn nearby for travelers like me. I’ll see if anyone shows interest. But… no promises. I’d rather just focus on finding one of the two Sun Spoken and getting off this mountain.”

They hate that but… agreed to the compromise. And the rest of the Dream we just huggle close to ward off the cold memories and aching chill.

Waking is… ugh. Almost forgot the fact I’d avoided a tavern for rest knowing the duenna would start looking there, decided to find a quiet spot on the edge of the city to start up a fire and snuggle down into my warmish layers after the trek up the mountain. Even settled at the edge of a group of other traveler’s campsites so we’d just… blend into their group.

Just… Looking like another traveling woman waiting out the storm below for a clear path to leave.

Immediately the clawing chill around my heart is the center of everything for a few seconds. Forcing me to just… lie in my wrappings shivering so hard against the cold within and without.

N– need to get to one of those inns. Before this gets any worse.

“Help?” Comes a soft coo from… Oh. Right.

Fuck.

I’d kept my little friend bundled close for the entire trek and even after settling into a fitful sleep. It had seemed to understand, at least a little, when I shushed it and pleaded for silence.

This… complicates things.

“Can…” I begin to ask as I curl up into a sitting position. “Can I leave you here? Will you be safe and quiet for me while I try to gather some Amwella?”

It seems to think on that for a moment, then nuzzles deeper into the bed wrappings. Murmurs a sleepy sounding “Help help.”

I sigh in such relief at that, and after making sure my friend will keep to our little camp. I clean off my face as well as possible, wrap myself in another layer, and head toward the city proper.

But… as I go to trek through the snow, a voice calls out from a large campsite I’d set up behind to obscure my spot. A place of tents and bustling life and a now blazing fire.

I turn to see a woman walking out toward me. Wrapped well against the cold and pulling a scarf down to reveal a cute freckled face and pale skin contrasted to deep blue eyes and… yeah those are a few small greenish scales spotted among her skin. Not evenly done so… probably inherited?

“Huh? Excuse me?” I reply dumbly.

“I said Hi!” She halts a few feet from me, looks back and forth between myself and my small little campsite I’ve left. “So glad I caught you, We noticed you kinda sleeping alone out in this horrible cold and like… wanted to invite you to camp with us! My moms are cooking this huge pot of stew for everyone and will have so much extra we’d love to share! Will have hot cider wine and songs and stories.”

“Um…” I murmur. The idea of a warm meal singing such a siren call to my aching and cold body. “I… Thank you that… um… actually sounds really nice. If it won’t be much trouble.”

She smiles so warmly, reaches out to take one of my big dumb hands. “Not at all! We’re going to have leftovers that’ll be an absolute mess to try and preserve when we decide to leave the Academy.”

“Oh.” Is all I can dumbly reply.

“I’m Kikii, by the way.” She chimes while pulling me along, looks up expectantly to me.

“Oh, um… I’m Rahdian.” I reply.

She considers that for a second. “That’s a really pretty name. Is it a Lyttoral one? Not sure I’ve met someone with it before.”

I kind of… stutter out for a second, not used to meeting people who not only care but… can very nearly spot the heritage of the name so quickly. “Yeah, kinda. It’s from an old sea people who eventually helped settle the coast.”

“Oooooh. Like a pirate’s name?” She giggles as we enter the first rows of tents and are immediately bathed in firelight and warmth. “Should I worry about you stealing me away?”

No words rise to my lips as Kikii glances back at me, eyes dancing. After a few steps her expression softens. “Sorry, that came across way more flirty than intended. We’re really just offering food and company for another woman of the Paths, if that’s all she wants.”

“No I… It’s sweet.” I manage to reply. “I just… it… caught me off guard. Been a while since I’ve had a cute girl flirt at me.”

“Oh good.” Her smile returns and brightens even more. “Let’s get you settled and warmed up. You must be freezing!”