CW:

WOW another Zigdara POV! Talk of enforcement into breeding slavery. Talk of punishments for refusing. Talk of suicide and incarceration and health problems for that.

I hear my Sun Spoken before I see her, of course.

A lilting song slithers through the brisk nighttime air much like an eel trapped in the shallows off the coast. Its words are a mangled language I’ve learned even the Weaver shard doesn’t recall, and the tune an impossible thing.

And any worry I had about Ina being overwhelmed and stepping away for fear of being a danger to the Arudian Men melts away as I take in the core of the melody.

Such… a sad thing of pain and loss and loneliness.

I finally spot them standing inside one of the odd little domes many Arudian homes keep. Where Lyttoral often will utilize fields or wall laid gardens, these cold lands keep enclosures that refract heat and melt snow to grow food atop their roofs.

If their song and sorrows weren't already making it difficult to restrain my own emotions, their beauty would prove a near equal challenge.

Basking in the light of the moon and stars, fingers trailing across the plants as their melody seems to uplift the wilting growths to new vibrancy and form. Their grief-torn song only gifting life and prosperity to the life around.

Before I reach them their song tilts to a natural close, as if perfectly timed to dip us into silence the second my feet hesitate at the entrance.

They look my way with a sigh and sad smile before whispering. “Hey Zigdara.”

Voice hollow and almost a rasp but… still a thing that seems to titter with barely restrained songs.

“Ina…” I murmur softly, but let my words trail off as I take in their tear stained face and trembling form.

“Sorry. We just…” They murmur. “Had to step out. Get some air and fresh perspectives.”

“Was the Curse too much to bear?” I ask the easy question I suspect the answer to, carefully stepping up to stand close.

“No.” They sigh and look away. “It was tame. Manageable and within our expectations.”

I don’t press as a few careful heartbeats pass, then they huff and lean their head into my chest. “Sorry.”

“Nothing was lost by you both taking time alone upon a rooftop.” I murmur gently, carefully wrapping them in my arms and even shifting a hand up to brush through their soft hair. “Simply… enough time had passed that I decided to come looking.”

“Fuck. Is… You didn’t leave Rahdian alone did you?”

“She was happily in talks with a few from the second group as I stepped away.” I assure her. “And two of your lovers were close.”

Ina opens their mouth to ask, but I gently add. “And I spoke with Emarial. She will not pester the girl tonight.”

That causes my charges to nearly fully relax, lets them lean into me a bit harder as a heavy breath takes up their focus.

“What made you both seek seclusion instead of the arms of one of us below?” I ask softly as my fingers slowly quicken their dance through her hair.

“Stupid.” They murmur. “Selfish. But hurts too much and sings with the curse and just… it’s hard to focus past. Not dangerous to anyone. But… Couldn’t focus. Barely got the words out when we finished up with the second group.”

I glance about and find what I’m looking for. Gently tug Ina into a bench built into the corner of this space. Then after we’re settled and leaning back, them comfortably nuzzled into my arms as we gaze past the glass dome at the stars above, I press softly. “Tell me.”

“Just… seeing them. How separating them from those women permanently would hurt everyone so much.” They murmur.

“So you both altered our plans without compromising their spirit.” I nod. “It was a wise decision that sounds contradictory to your curse.”

“It is, yeah.” They nod. “We… our little spirit fucked up. Can’t stop chewing on this stupid fucking idea that doesn’t matter. The curse is… it’s latching onto that. Happily. Nipping and biting and nearly cooing like our Big Child when offered his favorite fucking fruit.”

That makes me furrow my brow in a confusion I know she cannot see.

Both at my complete lack of knowing what idea could cause the small and gentle spirit to find a melody that harmonizes with her Curse, but… also the words she uses. How alive it makes this curse seem.

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“What idea?”

They don’t reply at first, and from just… an odd sense I get sometimes it's easy to feel that they are glaring. But eventually sigh and growl. “Just… So we never told anyone about how we were a girl before our lovers. Ever. But we wanted to. So fucking badly sometimes. But nobody cared about us. Not really. Just… thought we were odd and quiet and more than a little stupid.”

I can’t help but wince a bit at her words. Wanting to deny them but…

The duenna and even other charges there did not think highly of Ina’s intelligence or hobbies. Their Sangoma… found the quirks of Ina’s requested entertainment more interesting to fulfill than others. But also more troublesome.

And more than once spoke to Ina being a rather slow-witted charge.

They let out a huff of a mirthless laughter as they glance back to see the conflict in my face. “We may be stupid but we had ears, Zigdara. And our Temple Mother was not careful with her words. Why would she have been? Her job wasn’t to care if we were happy, it was to simply make sure we did our duty to the women of the city.”

“Ina, She…” But I trail off.

Nod.

She deserves better than my attempts to rewrite her scars, or deny the truth of their source.

“Yes. Keeping the Temple Children happy was both the easiest way to ensure everything ran smoothly.”

Their gaze attempts to tilt into something harder, but only displays such pain.

“Something else has been… dancing through us. A Question. What would the Temple have done if we stopped doing what they asked?” They whisper. “If… Like completely. In every way we could.”

“Ina…” I murmur gently. “You… Are you both… I will deny you both nothing. Even this answer. But I need to make sure you truly wish to know this.”

They pause, hold back the whip crack of demand I see in their eyes.

“No. But we need to hear it.” They reply after a long moment. “We need to know what kind of monstrous things would have been done to us had we resisted. And… and if others went through that. Before we go back. Please.”

I steady my face to display nothing but soft stone. “The start would be gentle punishments. Loss of privileges and preferred meals. Adjusted schedules for the others to try and make up for sessions lost, letting them spend time with the siblings that now bear more burdens due to their refusals.”

“Okay sure. We knew all that but the last part.” Ina nods. “But keep going. Let’s say we fought harder when you did that.”

I swallow, nod. “From my understanding nothing like this has been needed for… a very long time. And the male was only found and… no. Taken from his mother who had kept him a secret for his first sixteen years. His story was told as an example to anyone who found the idea of detaching boys from their mothers and life outside the Temple as soon as possible needlessly cruel.”

Ina pales a bit, then asks. “What… what did they do to him?”

“He needed training in his duties, the things you began learning the nature of in your younger years. So they assigned a council duenna to manage his education.” I reply carefully. Not entirely for them. But for myself. “He did not take to these lessons at first. Took three years of deprivation of all luxuries and careful work on the council duenna’s part to begin to crack at his resolve. Slowly offering rewards as one might a skittish animal. Eventually pulling him from a small chamber with a single window to a large room with three. By his fifth year he was performing with about half the women the Temple normally wanted for a man his age, but still sometimes would attempt to escape but… it was to find his mother.”

Take a deep breath. Allow the words to flow as if from a book.

“He didn’t know that she was detained and treated as a Ravie for the crime of keeping her child a secret for so many years. Branded and sentenced to twice the normal span as it became apparent how much the women of the lands lost. Extra for every year her child was unable to learn or begin his duties. His last attempt led him to admitting his hope to find her to his duenna, and so she offered him a deal. Start performing as others of your age, and she’d ask for his mother to be released early.”

My Sun Spoken winces. “He agreed to that. Didn’t he?”

I nod. “Of course. He begged to be allowed to see her again, even if only one last time, and his duenna agreed. Because… how could she not? The boy had become her closest charge. A child to her in many ways. But this meeting… It did not go well. His mother was in poor health, and when the day ended neither left with spirits in better places. The male grew distant and detached from all but his duenna, and even that was a cracked and breaking thing. He continued to perform as promised, though. So the current Sangoma of the Temple did not think he needed her. Believed that maybe she was a bad influence and he should be pushed to mingle more with his Temple siblings. Said that time, new friends, and routine would heal his ills.”

“W– we…” They murmur, eyes stricken with knowing fear at my coming words as their everything goes still. “No. He… Zigdara he… please tell us he… he didn’t…?”

I let them both see my own pain then. Something I’d never felt when I considered or told this story to other new members of the Temple’s caretakers. Not because I suddenly see the mistakes and tragedy of the words. I’ve let it sit long and bitter in my heart when I considered charges that were growing unhappy.

More still as I strode the Paths.

But here and now, because I feel that the lover in my arms knows how this story ends, because hers almost bore something similar.

“Tell us he adjusted and found his happiness or… or escaped or… or became infertile and was freed or… Or they brought his mom back or... or something.”

“I’m so sorry, Ina.” I huff and pull them closer, feeling my resolve break. Tears blurring my vision.

So sorry we didn’t see your pains. That we didn’t care to look. That your happiness was stolen and gifted to every woman our Temple forced you to lay with.

“Please.” They hiss, but it’s such a sad and gentle sound. As beautiful without any threats as it is heartbreaking. “Lie to us. Please.”

“I… I will. If you ask me to.” I whisper back past a choked sob.

It takes them a long while to push through such a trembling sadness to reply.

“No just…. Tell us. H– how long?” They finally whisper through their tears.

I don’t need to ask for them to clarify.

How long did he last before his end?

“On the eve of his seventh year they… sent him down the river.”

The sounds they make then are not things of song and pain twisted into a wretchedly beautiful harmony. No. These are the messy and broken noises of a girl and her goddess tearing at the seams. A wounded pair not simply mourning the death of a boy they never met, but themselves.

The end that they only avoided by sheer happenstance of fates entwining at the final moments before tragedy.

All melodies scattered as shattered glass on the cold stone beneath our feet as the empty night echoes their grief stricken cries.