Two days. That was the answer. We’d all agreed that while the chance of taking the same path as Emarial and Zigdara was slim, and the chance of catching up was even less, it wasn’t zero.
So we tried to rest well. On our final full day Kque elected to spend the night out with Jevita. There was a tension there I couldn’t properly fit together, but Jevita accepted without hesitation. Actually seemed relieved at the decision. But... Tasii didn’t want to sleep alone, we could all tell.
“Kque told me… she mentioned… Fuck I don’t know how to ask without it seeming like something it’s not!” I whine as I approach Yrelia with an idea in our room.
Yrelia just giggles at my blush. “You want to invite her to sleep with us without actually inviting her to sleep with us. Sharing warmth without anything getting too heated. It’s called skinship. And it’s very sweet to offer to a friend.”
“That still sounds like we’re asking her for something else.” I grumble. “But… yeah. And I don’t know how to ask! And I don’t want to offer if she’s… if it’s going to seem… If I’m going to make her want more and then disappoint or frustrate her! Kque told me how close you all are.”
I always wanted that exact thing back at the temple. The ability to snuggle up to someone I loved without it actually resorting to sex. How poorly it always went with Jawdat. How he’d always–
She takes my hands, interrupting the painful memories. “We all know how to respect boundaries, especially with people we do get that intimate with. Communication is really important. Tasii will let you know if she’d rather not.”
So we agreed to see if she'd like to sleep over in our bed for the night. Yrelia made me ask though. Insisted on it. So over lunch I stammered and stumbled over my words, a furious blush burning at my cheeks.
“We… I don’t want you to be alone. That sounds horrible and unfair and I know Kque and Jevita are probably in the middle of… trying to fix whatever it is that’s–” I take a deep breath. Focus on the actual fucking question. “Would you like to sleep with us tonight in a non-sex way? Skin… Skinship?”
Yrelia gives me a little clap and a giggle. “I knew you could do it Ina. Good job!”
I put my head in one hand. “I’m sorry. I’m so bad at this. I’m horrible at… at all this.”
Tasii quirks her head into a confused tilt, looks between us. “No plans for tonight?”
I shake my head. “We… No.”
“We’re taking it easy for tonight.” Yrelia supplies, still smiling.
“Oh.” Tasii says, a hint of a frown on her face. “That was…”
I stammer out. “I… I just… you're more important than that. And… I want to try and get a handle on how much of it is me and how much is…”
I touch my sternum, still blushing furiously. “I still totally want to do those things. But... I want to know when it’s me and when it’s this weird Amwella thing.”
“Oh… a sort of test then?” Tasii nods. “See if it's as intense around women you're not attracted to in that way?”
I stutter to a halt, look to Yrelia. “Oh… I didn’t... I wasn't thinking of it like that.”
Yrelia shrugs, laughs. “I honestly didn’t either. Would be interesting to find out though.”
“But… it wouldn’t work. I don’t think it would be a good test of… things.”
“Really?” Tasii asks. “Why not?”
“Well…” I huff, my voice shrinks into a whisper. “Because… I do like you all. A lot. I think I’m falling in love with you all, little by little. I just… Yrelia’s already a lot to handle. I’ll need… time, before I think I can–”
“Awww!” Yrelia coos, wraps me in a sidelong hug.
Tasii reaches out and touches her fingers to mine, “Thank you. It’s safe to say you’ve got little hooks into our hearts too, Ina. I’d love to share a room with you both tonight, if you’ll have me.”
And so it was that on that last night in Deledita, Tasii gave up her room to a few women who struggled finding one in the crowded town, and joined us in ours. We’d gotten our evening meal and decided the main area in the inn was too crowded. So we eat dinner in our room.
Initially our conversation is about the food itself, then transitions into how almost all the food I’ve had since I left the temple has been new. I ask how much is from outside Lyttoral and her surrounding lands. Surprisingly, almost none of it has been. We piece together through the names and descriptions of the temple’s meals that they kept their breeding males on pretty strict diets. Almost certainly to maximize health and productivity.
Eck. It’s gross just to think about. Thank fuck almost everything has been new and fresh to me. I don’t think I could eat anything similar to it now.
“So how did you two meet?” I ask after we’ve snuggled down into bed.
This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
They’d asked if I’d like to have an edge, but no, I like the idea of being smushed between my two new… friends? Family? That got a giggle and a glint from Yrelia’s too bright eyes. But she didn’t tease when Tasii gave her a stern look and graciously scooted to allow me between them.
“Oh wow.” Yrelia sighs. “That’s… a mess of a story.”
“Not when you cut out all the sex.” Tasii leans her head back.
“But those are the best parts!” Yrelia whines with a smile.
“I’d already started traveling alone with Kque by that time.” Tasii continues. “Been trading with her for… two years? One?”
Yrelia does a so-so gesture with her hand. “I mostly remember that it was about the time I’d stopped training to be a Hetaera.”
I turn to her… surprised. “Really? You’re a Hetaera?”
Professional sex person? I… Oh fuck then why is she even interested in me!?! I'm such a mess with no fucking clue of how half of anything works!
She shakes her head. “Never finished. Mostly did it to chase an older woman. She was…” A shrug and a smirk. “In the end we both agreed I didn’t have the right temperament for it. So I moved on.”
“Oh…” I blush. “I may not be the best person to say it… but.. Um… I think…You’re really… I mean you could’ve…”
Yrelia gives me a grinning sidelong look. I wiggle in place, trying to untangle the compliment from my own awkwardness and embarrassment.
“It wasn’t the physical parts that she struggled with.” Tasii rolls her eyes and saves me. “No, she's very good at that. Even back then.”
“Especially back then!” Yrelia giggles. “That bitch worked me to the bone. Not even like the fun kind you're thinking, Ina, exercise routines and long hours of lessons and reading and… bleh. Was in amazing shape though.”
“How… How did you meet Tasii and Kque then?”
“She lied.” Tasii picks up, “Said she was a Hetaera, and wanted to travel with us.”
“Okay, no. Nope!” Yrelia interrupts. “I implied heavily that I had just finished getting my rings and wanted to travel the paths. But was very careful to–”
“Yeah… you said it flat out once or twice.” Tasii sighs, then eyes Yrelia. “You know I’m not mad, right? I knew you weren’t from the start. It’s just… Kque–”
Yrelia crosses her arms and stares across me at Tasii, “You did not. How could you even?”
“You’re easier to read than most. You don’t hide how you feel,” Tasii shrugs, looks away. “People often hide behind a mask of happiness, you don’t. You’re genuinely a big ball of wanderlust for... Well… everything. You hated lying to Kque and it showed. Even when you just heavily implied.”
Yrelia narrows her eyes, purses her lips, but can’t hide a twitch of her lips and a little blush.
Tasii laughs as she glances back, “See? You can’t even pretend I didn’t just flatter you. You're proud of everything I just said. You should be.” Then she looks down at me, “Can you see it too, Ina? Her little tells there?”
I sneak a glance back to Yrelia, who tries to hide it, but… “The lip twitches and blush?”
Yrelia’s face relaxes as she crosses her arms into a pout, but she can’t stop the smile from overtaking her. “That’s not fair!”
“I… Thank you Tasii.” I say as I try to wrap a hand around one of Yrelia’s arms and snuggle with her. She resists me. “I… I didn’t know how to phrase that… but I think that’s why she’s been so amazing for me to be around.”
She still doesn’t uncross her arms, but does look down at me in surprise. “Huh?”
“I’m… I’m still so scared of everything. Still hiding so much of… well… myself. My past. But you… You and Tasii were the first to… to. “I snuggle my face into her arm. “You both inspire me to get out of my shell.”
Yrelia huffs out a sigh and releases her arm, allowing me to wiggle her into a sideways hug snug.
“I’m sorry Yrelia.” Tasii whispers, “I really thought you knew that I knew.”
“Yeah… yeah… I suspected you might. Just… sucks.” She rests her chin atop my head.
Tasii nods, I snuggle into Yrelia. A few moments of silence pass.
“What was that about Kque though?” I ask, “If… that is if it isn’t… um… none of my business?”
Yrelia chuckles. Even Tasii smiles.
“Oh Kque was absolutely obsessed with Yrelia.” Tasii supplies. “She isn’t embarrassed about it. Just…”
“She hated me for a little bit when I finally let it slip that I didn't finish my training. That… yeah.” Yrelia sighs. “That I heavily implied it to a ton of people. Still wear the rings I… eh… acquired, from time to time. Only a few times to get them to pay for my… special services. By that time I’d basically taken over all our trading. She felt like she’d been a part of some big lie without her consent or knowledge.”
“Oh. But… she’s okay now?”
“I’d say so.” Tasii laughs. “They worked that out from… like… all angles years ago.”
“That’s good.” I fidget my fingers.
“It’s important to meet people who help you become a better person.” Yrelia kisses me on the top of the head, then reaches over me. “Sorry I got a little upset there.”
“You’re alright.” Tasii laughs and takes Yrelia’s offered hand, then hesitantly lays her other hand on my leg. After a second of surprise I angle a little away from Yrelia so I can take her hand and give it a squeeze.
It’s then that I feel… Well I thought I felt a flicker from them. Like the heat I felt from Yrelia, but… I’m not sure?
After a few more smaller conversations about little nothings pass by us, I build up the courage to offer.
“Hey Tasii?” I prompt.
“Hm?”
“You… You can be closer than that. I don’t mind.”
“Alright.” She moves without hesitation, adjusting the blankets and pillows to erase the inches or so between us until our hips and legs are touching.
“If you overheat or are feeling smothered just let us know, okay?” Yrelia adds as she adjusts.
“Mhm!” I almost squeak that out.
Then she yawns, wraps an arm around me. “I’m fading though. I’m going to sleep. Kay?”
“Same.” Tasii replies as she shifts and gets comfy. “Do you want your hand back, Ina?”
I surprise myself by reflexively pulling her hand up onto my belly beneath Yrelia’s arm. “Oh… um…. Not if you're okay with this?”
“I’m okay with this.” She murmurs.
My heart ties itself in little knots as I fall asleep between two of the people I love more than anyone else in the world.