CW:
Minor discussion of possible child death.
“Hmmm… Thank you for your proposal,” The Doyan announces with a calm manner that hides so well what her opinion of the latest woman’s research entailed.
I… well I know if it involves gemstones and… like… a special type that I think does something to the soil? Or… or the water in the soil?
I really wish one of my brilliant lovers were here to help. I sigh as I watch the older woman nods, takes up her stacks of papers and pictures and star maps, and moves to leave. They could at least help my stupid brain begin to understand what the past dozen women were trying to explain.
The Doyan who’d invited me, Lady Tophedian, had been delighted when I’d arrived. All the polite energy I’d hoped for would blossom into a chance to speak and get to know her on display!
But… nope. The past hours had been spent just… sitting and listening as woman after woman presented their proposals and requests for funding. Often a fluttering of incredibly complex nonsense laden with phrases and terminology I just… barely understood at the best of times!
Even the tomes I translated in the Library tended to have a glossary or summary that helped me understand what their contents presented. But this… this was Cultivation at its most practical and complex. I was assured that asking questions was normal, but after hearing Tophedian’s and barely understanding them I just… decided not to bother.
Would rather look the quiet and stoic Sun Spoken than the foolish girl bumbling out stupid questions.
We sit on a raised dais in two of the dozen chairs arrayed in a semi-circle. Before and below us is a big table with about half as many chairs. And a big door behind that which is watched over by a couple duenna.
Tophedian lets out such an exhausted sigh that reassures me a bit. At least my own weariness isn’t unique.
“Alright… Last one before Doyan Xian will take over.” she shuffles through her own stack of papers to peer at our schedule. “Looks like… Oh!”
She smiles with such a look of relief and happiness. “This next one will be quick.”
I can’t help but match her smile as I peer down at my own gifted schedule and packet of papers and begin to move to the next set. “How can you tell?”
Each woman’s presentation had been scheduled and basically required them to give the Doyans a sort of… basic packet on the details of the study. While this seemed endlessly valuable to her, it involved a ton of short-hand symbols and charts and just… nonsense that only confused me more.
Yup! Bringing Kque next time. Insisting on it. Otherwise this is just… such a waste of what could have been a wonderful afternoon of sleep.
“They often ask for roughly the same things year after year.” She shrugs. “And it only barely involves real Cultivation. Just… the dust and often funding for their travels.”
I peer down at the papers and… yeah okay. I understand most of this!
Expense requests, listings of specific materials and… huh… this seems like…
“Why do they need it–”
But I’m interrupted when the door opens and a pair of older women are let in.
One is tall and thin, hair a wonderful twisting of faded green and maroon highlights. Skin a darker shade of bluish adoring a few sparkles. The other is shorter and a bit more plump, but not overly so. Dark hair short and cropped, skin a dark reddish with her own few clusters of glittering sparkles.
And between that and their much more… I guess rough looking travelers' clothes, they remind me more of women I’ve seen walking the Paths than a researcher or local ladies.
As they reach the table they settle in a pair of chairs and lay out such a small pile of papers.
“Honored Doyans,” The shorter one greets with a stoic nod, eyes drifting over to regard me with… something? Not anything rude just… maybe curiosity? Like she didn’t expect there to be another woman here.
“Letital and…” Tophedian glances down to her notes, “Votrel? I didn’t expect you to attend this cycle’s hearings.”
The taller, Votrel, smiles politely but… I can feel something in Tophedian’s question isn’t a kind thing to say… I think?
“Neither did we, but with the recent… eh… shifts happening we thought our work might be a stable port to the recent storms.” The taller one replies.
The Doyan places her hands upon the notes and leans forward. “Are you looking to renegotiate the three cycle stipend that was gifted?”
Letital shakes her head. “Not unless the Academy sees the true worth in our work.”
A beat passes. And I can’t help but look between the Doyan and the smaller woman in confusion.
Votrel winces, “Eh… Apologies. She simply means to say that–”
Tophedian smirks, waves a hand dismissively. “I remember our last session well, and our stark disagreements. I’d rather not sit through another hour of debate unless something in your workings has changed.”
The smaller takes a deep breath, seems about to let out such a stream of words, but… Votrel lays a hand upon hers and seems to beg something as they share a short silent exchange. Then Letital allows it to pass as only a huff and a nod of accent.
Then Votrel turns back to us with a smile. It’s still strained but… intent. “We did not intend to schedule ourselves and waste anyone’s time. It’s simply that with the recent rumbling of gemstones becoming a bit more… temperamental, we’d like to present our offerings as alternatives.”
That makes me perk up a little, breaks my nervous spell enough to chime in. “What sort of alternative?”
There is a pause as everyone in the room seems to remember I am here.
Letital is the first to speak. “You seem a bit young to sit as a Doyan. Lady…?”
Votrel is about to blubber out some kind of apology but I end that as quickly as possible.
“Oh!” I wave with a smile. “You’d be correct. I’m not a Doyan. Simply… eh… here to observe and advise when I can. I’m Inamatorii, Sun Spoken and woman of the Paths.”
That makes them both just kind of… sputter out.
“You–” Votrel's calm voice cracks a bit as she stammers. “There are rumors that…”
“Let’s leave rumors and such for another time. Yes?” Tophedian interrupts.
Votrel pauses, takes a breath, then nods. “Of course. Apologies. What was your question, Lady Inamatorii?”
“Oh just…” I rely heavily on Yrelia’s training to keep my own calm composure. Hopefully it’ll keep their nerves still as well. “I simply wanted to better understand what your work offers? As a woman of the Paths myself I understand the lack of Cultivation to be found out in the wider world. And your proposals seem to focus on a very specific need, If I understand this all correctly?”
She nods. “Of course. We’re looking to have the Academy provide us with various rarities of gemstone dust and supplies so we can provide better medical care to those along the Paths and outer towns.”
“We especially seek out and check in on the mothers who’ve become pregnant from some of the Academy’s males.” Letital adds. “Offer them care and support in critical times when possible.”
I let my mind just… breeze over part of that but…
“Oh… oh that’s wonderful!” I nod along. “Current events aside even. What are the um… downsides?”
Tophedian speaks up, “The costs, and some of their requests include destroying perfectly good gemstones to obtain their dust. Then there is also the fact that their work produces no guaranteed profits. Our investments become nothing more than donations.”
I tilt my head, confused. “And? Every lost life or medical complication will cost everyone more than pretty much any contribution.”
The Doyan sighs. “Yes, but…”
Lyttoral dedicated SO much energy to this. To ensure that any woman who left their temple pregnant would have at least three check ins and a wonderful support structure if complications arose. My opinions on things aside… The temple wanted to avoid the tragedy of ever sending a mother or her child down the river ever again.
It’s like… ingrained in nearly every city. The story of a loving pair or trio of young mothers losing their daughter suddenly and unexpectedly, and having to send her body down the river in a funeral raft. Then only finding solace again when those who saw the tragedy came to comfort and surround them with life and love.
“And, wouldn’t this simply be an extension of your fertility program? After care? Or are you already overflowing with women who do this?”
The Doyan rubs the bridge of her nose. “All Arudian cities boast caretakers aplenty.”
“And the women beyond those?”
She sighs, waves to the two older women. “We fund small groups to handle their care.”
When I look at the two they smile through pursed lips.
“Is it enough?” I ask them pointedly.
A pause. They look between themselves, then me and the Doyan.
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“It could be–”
“No.” Letital cuts off what would probably be a much more polite reply from her companion.
I smile at her and nod, then turn to the Doyan. “Then let’s work together to adjust and adapt. I won’t claim expertise, but I do have some experience and knowledge about how Lyttoral handles this. If even the bigger cities could benefit from alternatives to gemstone care we should consider its benefits, correct?”
She lets out a huff, but… nods. “Of course, Lady Sun Spoken. Thank you for your… pointed advice.”
And so I turn what was supposed to be a short dismissal into a nearly full hour of negotiations, clarifications, and a few quickly placated debates. But… in the end I walk from that room feeling like maybe this wasn’t a waste of my afternoon after all.
Zigdara waits, dutiful and seemingly unaffected by what turned into a longer wait. But before she can stand I move to sit and slump on the bench beside her.
“That exhausting?” She smiles and settles to wait till I’m ready to rise.
“Mhm.” I sigh. “Been sitting for hours and hours but just want to sit for a bit more.”
“Is there anything I can offer you to help?”
I just… lean into her big solid arm. “Just this. If that’s alright.”
She hums, then reaches around to hold me, “Of course. Anything you need, Ina.”
I feel sleep approaching, knowing that I’d find such soft beds and warm lovers back at the manor but… Fuck is it such a long walk through the cold! Just… gonna enjoy my big duenna’s warmth and rest my eyes here for a bit.
The little drifting isn’t enough to allow me to encounter my fifth lover, and eventually the sound of footsteps approaching and Zigdara’s voice rouses me.
“She’s quite weary from the day.” My duenna is trying to murmur quietly to…
My eyes drift open to see a group of four women standing at a polite distance. Two of their numbers are Votrel and Letital. All are older, and these two new ones sport interesting and unique traits. One is shorter than me, with cool blue eyes and pale skin with a head full of mussy blonde hair with a pair of little brown horn things sprouting out. The other is just almost as tall as Votrel, but also with pale skin that is practically covered in pretty dancing artwork. But she has green eyes and short reddish hair.
I pat my duenna’s leg and sit up. “It’s alright Zigdara. I know them from today's hearings.”
I brush my hair back from my face and rise, not really worrying about the weariness my smile must hold. “It’s good to see you both again, to what do I owe the pleasure?”
“We just… all wanted to thank you again.” Votrel speaks up first.
“I…” A denial of my efforts kinda just… dies on my lips. “I was just surprised the Doyans need convincing at all. But… regardless, you're the ones who deserve thanks. You walk the Paths to aid and heal others, while most of us simply indulge our wanderlust.”
That catches them off guard.
“I… We…” Votrel sputters.
The shortest snorts and elbows her companion. “Of course a woman of the Paths would understand how important what you two do is, Trel.”
“What we all do.” Letital murmurs, then looks to me. “But seriously, getting even our previous three cycle deal was a nightmare that involved some very uncomfortable sacrifices. Things we’ve seen cost lives. So… No, Sun Spoken Inamatorii, thank you. People who would have died will live because of this.”
I can’t help but grin stupidly at her words. “You're very welcome. And please, you may all simply call me Ina. Titles are such a new burden I’d rather avoid when among my fellow Walkers.”
The second tallest smiles back. “I’m Yunda, by the way. Could we offer a meal to yourself and companion? We always adore finding girls like us in this cold and bitter place.”
“And I’m Quetic.” The shorter chimes in with her own grin.
“Really, it’s wonderful to meet you all, but… I’m not sure I’d make very good company at the moment.” I let out such a sigh of polite weariness. “This week has been such a long one and I’m still unsure if I’ll have the energy to eat before just… passing out.”
“Understandable.” Votrel nods. “Could we… perhaps, schedule another time?”
“Of course!” I nod. “My lovers and I are actually staying at Lady Ophrit’s estate and I’m sure they’d adore hosting you all. Especially if you let two of them cook for us.”
A few of their eyes seem to dance a little at the subtle mention of my multiple lovers, but… don’t comment on it.
“If it won’t impose too much upon your hosts or lovers, then… we’d adore the opportunity.” Votrel agrees.
“Oh gosh not at all! Tasii has gushed a few times about wanting to find others to try a few new dishes she’s discovered. And the mass of people will ensure she…” I trail off as all their expressions shift from polite nodding to… something else. A bit of careful surprise.
“T– Tasii?” Yunda asks carefully.
I tilt my head as I realize the recognition in their eyes at the name. “Yes that’s… She’s tall with gorgeous dark skin, beautiful hair she tends to keep braided with little trinkets?”
A few of them nod excitedly.
“You know her?” I grin. “Old friends or…”
“Know her!?!” Letital grins back. “She’s like a second daughter to us!”
My eyes must be so wide as my Hetaera training cracks. “Wh– What?”
Quetic has burst into such a happy little sputter of giggles. “Oh this is so perfect!”
“That means…” Votrel’s hand goes up to her lips. “You’re with Kquevaian! Right? She’s here too?”
“Yes!” I sputter at my lover's full name. “How… What do you mean second daughter and… and how do you all know Kque and Tasii?”
“Ina, dear.” Yunda is the first to collect herself. “Kquevaian is our daughter, and Tasii is… well we consider her ours as well. Ever since she chose to walk the Paths with our little girl.”
I feel such a heat rise on my cheeks, and all my months of carefully learning how to always be in control of my words and presentation just… shatters at my feet like so much glass. Kque had mentioned her mothers being like... traveling healers but... “Oh… Oh I… B– but… That’s…”
“If I may, Lady Ina, maybe reconsider their offer? Bring them back with us to the manor?” Zigdara rests a hand on my shoulder, then turns to the group of nearly bouncing women. “I’m guessing you all didn’t expect to find your daughters at the Academy, nor they you here?”
A mix of shaking heads and bigger smiles as Letital says. “Last we saw them they were heading to Lyttoral with Yrelia, Jevita, and Lule.”
I bite my lip, “That’s where they found me.”
“You called them your lovers. Are you…” Yunda trails off.
I nod. “They kinda… um… yeah. We’re um… all very very close.”
Somehow their smiles grow even wider at my words, and what was probably a light blush is now a rolling storm of heat that makes me a little dizzy as I bear the weight of their sudden rapt attention.
“Our girls…” Quetic says with such a glimmer of amusement in her eye. “Sweeping up a Sun Spoken.”
“Quetic…” Votrel turns to eye her. “Stop it, you’re embarrassing the poor girl.”
“We’re all thinking it.” Letital murmurs with an easy shrug, then turns back to me. “And from your pretty blush I’m guessing she’s spot on?”
“Um…” I huff, close my eyes for a second, reclaim whatever I can of my control and open my eyes to their overbearing smile and grins. “Only Yrelia or Tasii would use those words but… it’s honestly very very true. They all had me smitten before any of us knew that I was Sun Spoken.”
I see the questions that bubbles up behind their eyes, but Zigdara speaks up again. “Shall we go ahead and begin our walk to the estate? I’m not sure Ina will have the energy to make it back at this pace otherwise.”
They all agree and after wrapping ourselves in a few extra layers to ward off the cold. They try to keep their bubbling excitement to a minimum level of excited questions. How are they enjoying cooking with Arudian ingredients? How long have you all been in Arudia? What brought you to the Academy?
I give sort of simple answers. Kept that way by the storm and my own fluttering incredibly embarrassed heart. Still… still trying to just… just…
“Ina?” Zigdara murmurs as she pulls me up to lead the group by a few paces as they seem to fall into a bumble of excited conversation amongst themselves.
Quetic had asked if Zigdara was among our more… intimate circles. But she only shook her head and told her part of the truth. That she is a duenna of Lyttoral wish to protect a young Sun Spoken from her homeland.
“Hmm?”
“Are you alright?”
“Mhm.” Is the best answer I can give as I fight to keep my mind from spinning, end up taking her arm and letting myself rely on her strength as mine continues to fade.
“You seem… overwhelmed.”
I nod. “Four. Zigdara. FOUR mothers. Fuck me that is… that’s…”
The big duenna chuckles. “For a girl with that many lovers your befuddlement is surprising.”
I let out a huff and whisper more harshly than I mean to. “Yes. I know. And that’s what just… doesn’t make sense. But here I am… floundering like some… some… something! I’m a fucking Hetaera and Sun Spoken. Just a few weeks back I survived more unbelievable nonsense than I’d ever imagined possible. But… but now here I am panicking over the idea of dinner with Kque and Tasii’s four mothers and I don’t know why!?!?”
We walk in silence for a bit, the only sound the murmurs of excitement echoing from behind us. And... and then it hits me. Harder than it should as I consider my own mother, my Sangoma, and...
“I…” I find myself wincing at my next thought. “Oh. Well fuck that might explain it.”
“What?” She murmurs.
“I… I never expected to be allowed to fall in love.” I can’t help but growl the words as a wisp of moisture touches my eyes. “Never… never expected to meet some amazing women and… and get to meet their mothers and… and...”
I feel Zigdara let out her own sigh, then whisper quietly. “I’m so sorry, Ina. That…”
I wipe at the tears that had begun to rise. “It’s not your fault. I just… That was not something I was ready to realize today. And… fuck. What do I even tell them about me!?!”
Zigdara does smile softly at that. “Whatever you feel comfortable with. They seem kind and very patient with disparate pasts. I doubt they'll push if you show discomfort.”
I let out a huff. “Yeah. But… That’s the thing Zigdara. I do like them. They’re… they’re amazing and interesting and… and I’ve only known them for like… two seconds and I’m jealous of Kque and Tasii. That… that I’m about to be drowned in little stories about their childhood and hate that I don't have like... things I'll want to share. Not without needing to leave huge holes and avoid details! I won’t be able to do anything but smile and feel that bitterness and I HATE that. ”
“I…” She trails off.
A spark, a fire. Much like the inspiration that can lead to a bubbling of song. But… deeper and not at all magical.
“You know what?” I growl and push out my best smile. “Fuck that. Fuck the temple. It’s my life. I get to live it now. And I’ve decided that I’m going to enjoy the fuck out of meeting a few of my lover’s wonderful family. They're literally the nicest fucking people on this stupid mountain and they are just... bubbling over at the idea of spending time with us.”
That gets such a sigh and smile from my big duenna as she loosens her grip, "Good. I can think of nothing better."
Then she lets me pull away and fall back into the flurry of conversation with my lover’s family.
* * *
I’m already giggling when we enter the manor, turning back to shush the much quieter bumble of women as Zigdara and I begin to take their big coats.
The last half of the walk was such a wonderful experience!
Fuck, they’re just SO perfect. Each unique and kind and so open and comfortable with each other. Their words and glances singing of decades of love and life! While I’d insisted on saving the more interesting stories of my meeting my lovers for later, they were more than happy to burst with their own tales of our soft spoken Kquevaian.
How they thought she would be as big as Votrel with how large of a baby she was, the first time she let the sea touch her toes… and how she’s always adored the snow despite not caring to play in it now.
Letital was the mother who carried her to term, but Kque quickly learned as a child that she could spend an entire day of walking napping in a mother’s arms so long as she’d always ask the next one to hold her after one tired a bit. Bonding her to each of them, and foster what would eventually become little unique connections.
And the story that has me giggling so hard was how when Tasii first joined this family along the Paths they very nearly had to send the girls to camp a mile ahead because otherwise they might have kept the mothers awake all through the night.
Both with their jabbering conversations and… um… how loud they would get during their nightly embraces. Turns out Kque was absolutely smitten with Tasii from the moment she met her in the little farming conclave our biggest lover called a home.
“I’m so glad to know that um… is normal.” I don’t even mind the blush now. Can’t feel anything but joy at hearing about two of my lovers’ past romance from these four adoring mothers. “On a different note it’s very very good you’ve already booked your bed’s elsewhere for your stay! This manor has been quite erm… noisy of late! Can’t really say why though…”
That got a few more giggles from us all.
And then I’d insisted on letting me enter as if the day was normal, all of us quiet and shushed, so as to all enjoy my lover’s reactions to this unexpected visit.
“Ina?” Calls my tallest lover from the kitchen. “Is that you?”
“Y– Yes!” I call back, making sure to shush the fairly quiet bunch through my own unstoppable giggles. “Is em… Could you and Kque come um… h– help me with something?”
A pause.
“Sure?” I can hear such confusion and a bit of worry in Tasii’s voice. “Is everything okay?”
“Perfect!” I call back. “Just um… I need um… your opinion on something? Both of your opinions. Like… right now. Please.”
Votrel sighs, Yunda covers her mouth as she smiles, Letital seems to sort of… brace herself for the storm we all know is about to hit, while Quetic fights with everything she has to keep down her own giggles.
Then we hear shuffling as what sounds like one person begins to approach. “Ina, what’s up? Are you sure you’re–”
I bite my lip and move off to the side. “I just found some wonderful people wandering about the Academy and thought they could join us for dinner!”
Tasii steps in the entryway and while her eyes immediately focus on me as her mouth begins to voice more questions, she quickly jolts and lets her gaze double back to take in the four ladies still standing near the door.
A pause, and I get to watch such a grin roll over my lover’s face as the four mothers give her such huge grins and little murmurs of greetings.
Then she’s all but darting forward in a shout of joy and glee, wrapping herself in a gigantic group hug with the four.
Then I get to turn back just in time to see Kque sort of stumble into the room, pulled into quick motions by the cacophony of it all.
If Tasii’s expression was a rolling wave of joy, the happiness on Kque’s face is like watching the sun rise. And it’s the same for her mothers. Tasii may be a girl they consider their second daughter and first lover to their child, but Kquevaian is one they’ve seen grow from babe to adult.
The following squees of joy and delight and just… sheer surprise at stumbling upon one’s child or mothers randomly along one's Path rings through the house. Quickly drawing anyone and everyone. Even Jevita out the stables hears the ruckus they all make and ends up peeking in to make sure everyone is okay.
“We… oh fuck we… I’ve got to… to check on the…” Kque blubbers from within one of mother’s hugs.
“I’ll take care of it, love.” Tasii kisses her on the forehead and wipes away a few tears of such joy.
“What is it?” Yunda asks.
“Food things. Dinner.” Kque clarifies.
Quetic bumps Yunda on the arm. “We’ll help!”
“Is um… Zigdara and I could go and get things if like… more food is needed?” I offer.
Kque nods. "Yeah, we... we'll need another brumble of Utokas and... and more cider wine and... Fuck probably more flour and sugar. At least."
Yrelia steps up with… kinda an oddly blank expression. A thing almost... well if I wasn't kinda muddled between all this and my own weariness I'd think to pull her aside and ask if she's okay. But before the thought enters my slow and stupid head she's speaking. “You’re barely standing. Let me handle that. You go bask in these wonderful mother’s affections. Moon and Stars know you need this.”
Fuck she… she just… sees straight through me. So easily knows and connects my own lack of this with my giddy smile.
“I could accompany you in case you need help carrying it all back.” Zigdara offers.
“You’re at least just as tired as her, big girl.” Yrelia shakes her head. "I'll be fine."
“I’ll go with you!” Jevita bumbles up to her side, wraps a careful arm around hers and entwines their fingers. “I’m already bundled up from being with Lule.”
Yrelia sighs but… nods and kisses Jevita’s hand. “Thanks.”
And then the party kinda… splits. Tasii and Yunda and Quetic head off to figure out the evening's meal and chatter happily about how they might expand it to include four more while Kque, Letital, and Votrel move their blubber of joyful reunion things into a sitting room.
I kinda… spend a few moments fluttering between kitchen and sitting room with Ophrit and Delphian. Conveying messages and catching random tidbits of both conversations. Both of our Arudian hosts find such common ground on account of Ophrit's family merchant business and Delphian's brilliance with Cultivation and gemstones. Jabbering and falling into such easy conversations that just... weave in and out of all the others.
But after my third time nearly tripping over my own silly feet Zigdara all but picks me up and herds me back into a guest room. One that Tasii and Kque and Jevita shared last night? I think?
“I doubt they’ll run off anytime soon, you should rest before dinner.”
“B– but–”
“It’ll take twice as long now anyway as they wait for Yrelia and Jevita to return. Rest, Inamatorii.”
With that I just kinda… slump into the bed. Once again my name being spoken by this woman from my past just... causing such a flutter of calming joy in my soul.
Yup, smells like my lovers. I nearly giggle as I snuggle deep into the blankets and pillows.
But… before I pass into slumber I notice Zigdara sort of… hesitate between the door and the hall. Obviously tired and wondering if she’d rather find a quiet place to sit and consider the day, deal with the cacophony of lovers and family, or try and rest in an uncomfy chair outside the room. Still so dedicated to my safety.
“Zigdara.” I murmur.
She glances back.
I squirm a bit to the side and pat the spot on the bed beside me. “Come get some sleep. You’re probably more tired than I look.”
She pauses, then quietly and carefully asks. “Are you certain?”
In my suddenly very drifting away state I murmur out. “I’m not asking you to fuck me yet Zigdara, just share skinship and sleep.”
A pause, and my heart skips a few beats as I realize what I totally just blurted out.
But then my big duenna lets out such a burst of laughter before my stupid brain can panic. She’d shedding her shawl and shoes, and moves to lay in the bed next to me.
There’s a… pause. Her Amwella Radiating a kind of… interesting song of both affection and longing to just… feel another resting close. But also seems to bear a deeper harmony to share this with me specifically.
So with a huff of dedication to my silly words, I reach out, wrap an arm around her waist, and pull myself into her. Almost immediately she curls around me. Both arms wrapping my small frame and enveloping me in her thrumming warmth.
And before I realize it I’m passing into slumber to the sound of her heart’s slow and steady beat.