CW:
Dehumanization talk, dream mupples, and talk of continued enslavement.
Aceso is waiting for me as always, and even seems a bit better!
The ashen wastes are kept at bay by a grove of trees and flowers. A little clearing in the middle with a tree root that arches up from the ground to form a little nook for two people to sit in.
Her eyes are closed as I kneel before her.
Fuck, she is SO pretty. Scales glimmering in the light, head tendrils just… wiggling about in such adorable patterns! I… hm… Are they longer now? Did they always reach just below her shoulders?
I know she’s awake. We can’t really sleep while in a Dream, that would be stupid.
“Hi Aceso.” I murmur softly.
She takes a deep breath, and her eyes open, and in them I can see such strange and familiar musings. I could simply watch and absorb them but… that seems a bit rude so instead I just… ask.
“How does it feel? Your new name, I mean?”
She purses her lips, and I can feel how hard she fights to not bite her lower one. A habit she totally absorbed from me.
“It… I like the name and consider it the best option given our needs.”
A pause of a few heartbeats.
“But…? Does it feel good? To be called that?”
She lets out a sigh. “It does but… I never even considered changing my name before. So there is a sense of… not wrongness, but… adjustment.”
I nod and move to sit cross-legged before her. “Mhm. Yeah. I still get little tutters when hearing my lover’s or random strangers call me Ina.”
She nods, then looks to stare up at the break in the Dream’s sky. Tendrils sway and wiggle in patterns of consideration and in how they are leaning toward me, I guess… longing?
But we might dip into more difficult topics so I’ll wait for my lover to use words to ask if She wants snuggles.
“It feels… a bit like a mask. One I… I would like to become a reflection of myself. But worry it is only a piece of dead driftwood I cling to. Temporary and... and only just holding me afloat.”
The Dream does not stir or writhe in reflection of a deep agony, so I know that this is a soft topic.
I nod, “Oh yeah, that… Literally was me after I chose my new name. I spent days and days worried that someone would somehow recognize me and like… our lover’s would start calling me by the old name. That I might act to much like the old me. But… You’re not Horrid, Aceso. Just… hurt.” A pause, then I ask. “Would you like me to sit next to you or stay here?”
She pats the spot next to her without looking down, and after I shuffle into place. Let our knees just barely bump together as her head limbs reach out to nuzzle my shoulder and even start to play with my bundle of hair.
After a few slow heartbeats she lets out a huff and adjusts to face me. “So… how was your day?”
And so I share with her all my nonsense. Both in words and like… odd Dream things. My abilities are much sharper now so it doesn’t take too long.
She purses lips and tendrils wriggle about, and it’s easy to see her conflictions at my choices.
“Thoughts?” I offer while leaning back to rest an arm on the root we lean against.
“You’re risking too much and giving others too many chances to hurt you.” She murmurs.
I nod. “Which is why I think settling Emarial’s nonsense is a good idea. Even if she doesn’t openly like… want to help me, her presence could make others think twice about doing something stupid.”
“Or give her the allies she needs to hurt you again.”
I purse my lips and glance down. “Yeah. I… I’m hoping when she wakes up she’ll be less of a cunt. More willing to like… listen. Because like… I’m fucking terrified that if I don’t gather powerful friends then… then it’s just a matter of time before I either need to just leave Arudia or… um…”
Get attacked again.
Flashes of… of Tasii bleeding and… and our knee smoking and… and worse things flash through me. How… of close we came to death in our fight beneath the Obelisks.
Aceso senses my worry. “Our duenna refuses to leave your side and has a good sense for danger. And… While I would adore the chance to Reave the cunt of a Sun Spoken from the Waking World and steal her Wellspring to ensure your safety… It’s not the right path. And right now I believe your safety is very nearly guaranteed.”
I quirk an eyebrow. “How’s that?”
She nods up to the fissure in the Dream’s sky. “Soon the Zeridii will awaken, and I doubt anyone but us can quell what might be an impending catastrophe. They won’t move to strike at you unless another alternative arises, and if we succeed… You’ll prove such a valuable ally to any and all who wish to claim power in these lands. No matter how little you wish for it.”
And after that… we spend most of the Dream just… considering songs that might help me calm and converse with the Zeridii.
* * *
The word spoken by the High Doyan snaps me from what was a bored stupor into full awareness like a handful of snow dropped down the back of my coat.
The final day of rest was nice… but… yeah not enough. I totally slept through the first evening of Kque’s mothers and was kinda a sleepy puddle for most of the next morning. It wasn’t until Yrelia brought me breakfast and helped me bathe again that I was able to feel a person and go out to say hello again to the mothers.
Thank fuck they all seemed totally happy to just… enjoy the day indoors. I would not have been able to go out and about for any kind of evening meal, and honestly? From the giggles and rumble of delighted conversation from the kitchen Tasii and Kque REALLY seemed to enjoy sharing their new art with them.
Yrelia seemed… still upset by something but… better. I let her know that if she wanted to talk I was here, and she told me that she spent the evening and night with Jevita and worked some of it out. But… otherwise she wanted to wait until things calmed a bit.
And all too quickly the sun set and we ended up dropping into such a long and needed sleep in Yrelia and Jevita’s arms. I’d invited Zigdara into the warm snuggle pile but… she’d refused. It was with a smile but… hm… I’ll just have to do the smart and social thing and ask her if she’s uncomfortable with my forwardness like all my lovers said. Which means I’m probably going to not do that and just wait until I’m tired and sleepy and invite her into more snuggles when my lips get ahead of my brain.
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As for the Dream that final night… hm… it was nice, actually. Aceso and I didn’t really talk much just… basked in random shared memories…
Clasping Yrelia and Tasii’s arms during the first snowfall along the Paths.
A flash of… someone. Not a lover. Not a mother but… A sister? Sitting atop a pearly white tree while looking down at an endless forest below. Head tendrils curled close in such loving comfort as they hummed their favorite magical songs to each other.
Kque trimming my hair for the first time, constantly stopping and giving me little hugs as I worried over suddenly losing too much of the big wonderful bundle I was finally allowed to grow out.
Chasing a mother amidst a sea of multicolored delight! Playful and wonderfully endless and filled with such big odd creatures! Leviathans and wiggly friends all sharing a bounty of… something. It was easy to tell this ocean wasn’t made of water but… it was to be consumed all the same. Apparently it tasted fucking delicious!!!
Some things left tears in our eyes but… they were all happy things! I made sure to always radiate such grateful love for Her as she shared these experiences with me. Because like… I couldn’t help but feel like she’d not ever done any of that. Begun to REALLY expose Herself to a lover in this way. But… too soon the morning came, and after a small breakfast and big hugs shared with my lovers, I’m back to sit in on another conclave.
And then the High Doyan’s third set of topics for the day just… happens to be this.
Fuck.
I wish I was a little more awake for this. And… and Jevita may not be ready but… We can’t wait any longer.
Moving to stand, I clear my throat. “They are Her other demand.”
A long pause as the women turn to just stare. Mostly in tired confusion. But… the High Doyan’s eyes seem to flicker in… something. Not anger. Not surprise… but…
“Sun– Ina, Forgive my misunderstanding.” She begins carefully. Face going even more blank. “But could you please explain?”
I nod, quietly clear my throat, and put on my best Hetaera mask as I regard the room with a face of calm focus. Not unkind just… firm. The kind of this I was taught to wear when a client might get pushy on a thing we refused to do or schedule.
“Of course. We, as High duenna of Arudia, seek to claim any and all people afflicted with the Maktaba. Insist that they be placed under our immediate care. The laws re-written to ban the process of binding those gemstones to people, and the current individuals given not just the rights and freedoms of all women but also compensated for their sacrifices.”
The pause that follows is only as deafening as the soon and sudden roaring cacophony from multiple members of the conclave. Muddled arguments, demands to know how I even am aware of the Maktaba, and even quieter growls to call the duenna to remove us from the Conclave entirely. The High Doyan tries to reclaim order, through her own shouts and calls, but it’s only as I harden my face and raise a single hand that the room stills.
Still so worried about what I might do…
“This is not a negotiation. But if you can all remain calm I will explain.”
“Explain!?!” What is there to explain!?! You demand some of the most dangerous collections of gemstone knowledge of the five families!” Doyan Letina hisses.
I sigh as my Sangoma might when explaining something simple to me. “Yes, of course. And for good reason. I’ve only truly met a single Matron of the five, but it was enough to find it a tragedy that such a woman is still allowed to hold any semblance of wealth or power. And I’ve plenty of sources that concur that while Veletross may be one of the more… unsavory Matrons, the others are horrid in only slightly more private ways. Now that the Obelisks no longer enforce it, that power and wealth should wane as Arudia adapts and grows.”
Letina glares, seems to be ready to shout something, but then Doyan Tophedian leans forward to say. “All that aside… The five won’t agree to this. Not for all the wealth in Arudia.”
I shrug. “They already have that. And honestly, how can they refuse you? Whom do the duenna of your city follow? The Doyans? Or the Five Matrons? And which has the voice of a Sun Spoken and Weaver Roused joined to theirs?”
Doyan Xian shakes her head. “Lady Sun Spoken, the things you demand. They… they aren’t people. Not anymore. They traded that away. They are Maktaba, just a… a walking archive of–”
The glare I turn to her shocks the woman into silence. Causes the room to lean away from me as my voice cracks forth in a snap. “They are people. No matter how much their abusers seek to break them of that.”
I’d known Jevita was treated horribly, but I didn’t like… understand that she wasn’t the only person who this was done to! It was obvious, but amongst all the nonsense of these past weeks I just… didn’t have the mental energy to consider the others.
It was so hard for my lover to share her past with me. Took… took her a week to carefully recount enough of her past traumas to give me the words and understanding needed.
Nearly a decade of the most horrid abuse tilted at just… breaking her of people things. Leading her to just… sink into the thing they bore into her mind and punishing her at even the slightest telling of the girl she is… And apparently she isn’t the only one.
Two other, that she knows of, currently hold the Maktaba stardust within their bodies. Each family could only have one. But apparently the process was not only difficult and costly, but also nearly guaranteed to fail. Most people either crack under the mental strain, or suffer various flavors of painful death within the first few days. Fewer still even survive their first year.
Because despite her abusive creator's assertions, people's thoughts were needed for the symbiosis.
The Grand Doyan narrows her eyes. “You seem… quite well informed on this.”
It’s not a question.
I avoid taking a deep breath and do not pause. This was… the most difficult thing for Jevita and Kque to agree on. Because despite the lack of Obelisks, knowledge of my lover being alive and returned to Arudia does endanger her life and freedom.
Jevita was adamant that I do this, and use the knowledge she shared to save the other two. But… Kque was furiously against it. Still is. Will… she might hate me for a bit when I tell them that the time came for me to demand this. I only hope that between the sudden amazing reunion of her mothers and our lovers' assurances that she can find peace.
“One of my lovers bears the stardust and scars of a Maktaba.”
“I… That’s…” Doyan Xian stammers.
Doyan Letina hisses and spits some Arudia curse that is honestly quite rhythmic for words that I believe to mean something along the lines of ‘Star rotted cunt that I hope dies alone out in the cold winds.’
Doyan Tophedian just… tilts her head in such curiosity, but… remains blessedly silent.
A simple nod from Grand Doyan Boletii, like my answer was just… expected. The most obvious reply.
But then the ever silent 5th and youngest member lets out such a sigh, and speaks up for the first time today. “The Matron of Scara Noc is going to shit blood over this.”
A pause, and I… I can’t help but snort in fury. My mask of politeness cracking away as I regard her. “I hope they suffer worse than that. I intend for these new laws to demand that the five families spare no expense in ensuring that those afflicted live well and recover some semblance of their past lives if they want it.”
That gets a pause, and a few winces from some.
“Sun Spoken Inamatorii…” The Grand Doyan starts to speak, leaning forward and steepling her fingers.
“Ina, if you please.” I politely correct her, reclaiming my Hetaera mask.
She pauses, then nods and continues. “Of course. Ina, May I be blunt?”
I can’t help but smile a little bitterly. So tempted to retort with ‘Have you not been?’ But… I need to at least try to make them agree to this without just… outright threatening them. “I welcome your unrestrained honesty, Grand Doyan.”
“The previous demands you’ve hinted at range from problematic to downright impossible. And while this is less so, it will still involve the possibility for violence. Yes, the duenna officially serve the Doyans of this Academy, the situation is much more complex than that.”
I nod. “The five families personally retain and pamper their guardians. Their duenna will, in all likelihood, stand with them if it comes to any kind of conflict. But their numbers are small compared to the Academy’s numbers. That alone will dissuade many from doing something stupid.”
She purses her lips, “Quite likely, yes. But… Why risk it? We can ensure your lover is… ignored, and we’d only ask that you return her body to the Academy when the cold gathers.”
I shake my head, barely restraining the anger in my voice. “That will be the decision for her family when that horrid day comes. The Weaver’s demands in this are not up for debate or compromise. To enslave a few is still a blight on your lands that She will see purged.”
A tense pause, and I sense… hm… Yeah they all at least feel the cold winds of change. If we can just… Just find the words to…
“Aren’t you tired of them?” I let my voice shift to more... well... me, as I look about the room.
Various looks of confusion and sudden interest.
“Arudia being controlled by five families regardless of their merits? Safe in their wealth and previously protected by big stupid magic rocks that will literally blight the land if you don’t follow and respect them? Doesn’t Arudia deserve better?”
A heavy silence settles as I pause. No immediate rejections! Even… hm… a few seem quite… thoughtful. Even… hm… yeah some here even agree!!!
“Help me change things. Not begrudgingly, not out of threat or worry that I might unleash the Weaver’s wrath, but because you see a better future for these lands. Because I’ve been holding out on outright stating this… but I am, first and foremost, A woman of the Paths. I mean to leave the Academy once things are settled! I don’t want to rule or control Arudia. Just… make it better. Help the old scars heal and remove the things that stop that before I go.”
A long pause.
“But why under your care, specifically?” Doyan Tophedian tip taps the table. “These… people. You must understand the kind of dangerous secrets that lie within a Maktaba. In a single demand you are declawing two of the five and arming yourself with quite strong magics.”
I shrug. “Could the knowledge within compare to what the Weaver had me do to the Obelisks? What I could still do if I turned my songs against actual people?”
A huff of laughter. “Not easily or quickly so… Fair point.”
“And besides…” I continue. “From the little I understand, mind and soul magics are volatile under the best of times. In the current climate of Gemstone instability I’m mostly worried that they are going to suffer the most with how much of their body’s are imbued with Cultivation. Get themselves or others hurt. My lover has already shown some… symptoms. Were I a heartless cunt I’d simply let these others remain under the care of their wretched abusers until something cracks.”
The Grand Doyan perks up, despite trying to keep her face polite and calm. “Do you sense things might escalate soon?”
I nod. “We feel it. And at present those three are both the most vulnerable and the most dangerous. As high duenna it makes sense for them to be settled into our care.”
The room seems to grow even more tense but… mostly with a sudden focus on our warning.
“Can you explain this? What you… feel? What should we expect? How can we prepare?” Ask Doyan Xian.
I look down over the carved table of all of Arudia. Considering… how best to explain the sounds we’ve heard growling ever louder from the crack in our Dream. The best guesses of Aceso as to what the Zeridii will be like. And… The little nightmares Jevita’s mentioned having…
“I think… It’s like you can’t see a cloud in the sky, but… you can feel it’s going to rain. We hear them waking up, and mean to move to greet them. We’ve prepared dozens of song magics to help soothe things over. Help us communicate and such. We hope the thousand years of being bound to people's thoughts will at least be good enough to make that work.”
“Waking up? Will this be a… a conclave? Or… a single being. You’re not being especially clear.” The Grand Doyan presses.
I sigh and look up to give her a serious look. “They, the Zeridii, seems to… have been fractured or broken apart somehow. The Weaver thinks that maybe the Obelisks were, perhaps… central to them. But damaged. So the Sun Spoken of old used their magic to carve bindings to force them to all remain unified to a single goal. But… as time passed and they imbibed more people's thoughts they um… started hurting. Or… No, that's not right. Fuck.”
I chide myself at the sudden loss of my Hetaera mask but… hope honestly will play better with them than a calm performance. “They’ve always been hurting. Because they suffered some kind of death. It’s just… maybe it took this long for one of my kind to notice it. Either way… eventually something would have cracked and you’d have to deal with this, of that the Weaver is sure.”
“How can She be?” Snaps Doyan Letina. “How can She claim to know anything about them yet still show such ignorance?”
The room goes tense, everyone going rigid.
I’m tempted to just… narrow my eyes and be really rude to her. To lay out the Doyan’s faults and mantle them with all the sins of Arudia.
But… I only sigh in the way Kque sometimes does when one of us hurts ourselves in an incredibly stupid way. “Because their cries were getting louder, Doyan Letina. Slowly, yes. But steadily. Given another few centuries and you would have faced a fracturing that would have left your granddaughters riven with an Arudia blighted with far far worse and no Sun Spoken to mitigate it.”
That makes even her pause. Face turn… well not really in agreement but… considerations. The first time I’ve seen her regard anything I say with anything but scorn.
“Alright, Sun Spoken Inamatorii.” The Grand Matron nods. “We’ll relay your words and warnings, and during this next Conclave the Five Matrons will join us.”