CW:

Angry Sun Spoken. Talk of past being used a breeder. um... cold. mhm!

“That fucking BITCH!” I snarl.

“Ina…” Kque murmurs softly.

“Should have brought Yrelia here. Let her slap the cunt a few times like she did Zin.”

“Ina.” She repeats.

“Or better yet just… slapped her myself. Hard.”

“Ina!” Kque doesn’t snap but… her tone is one that always jerks our family into paying attention to our lover.

“What?” I turn to find her huddled in the entryway of the door, rubbing as her shoulders and glancing about the alleyway I stormed out into.

“We need to wait for Zigdara.”

I huff and step over to my shivering lover. “Sorry. Just… just needed to go. Get out. Didn’t even realize she wasn’t right behind us until I was outside.”

She reaches out and pulls me close, “If you need to shout outside at least… block the wind. It’s freezing.”

I giggle and wrap myself around her. “Okay.”

Within a few seconds Zigdara is opening the door and looking between us. A wince touching her features. “You ventured farther than I thought we agreed upon.”

“Just out the door.” Kque murmurs into my chest.

I sigh and squeeze my lover closer. “Sorry. Thought you were right behind me.”

Even with our mergers being soft and without the intense cost… I’m running so low on soulfire. And so are my lovers. Forcing me to more and more rely on Zigdara’s blaze which… is also beginning to dwindle.

It would be such a worry, and that’s if I also wasn’t… um… well eating for two. Rahdian’s gone to visit a girl she met before coming to me once, and even came back with more soulfire, but… I refuse to let that girl feel her body not continue its path forward. Aceso’s been able to help her Shards work out better ‘spinnings’, reducing the costs and even working on bigger spells! Things that’ll cost more Amwella than we have but… will shift things so that she won’t need to spend as much and… and even change some body things the spinning won’t do.

But… Well, this means plenty of times I have to face cunts without my fifth lover. And people have tried stupid things, even without the Gemstones or lightning or… or whatever else they had before. Those Obsidian blades are fucking sharp.

Thank fuck my duenna was always there to keep me safe.

“And… Emarial had all the right words to hurt you.” Zigdara nods and grimaces.

“Yeah. Fuck.” I huff. “I’ll… be more mindful.”

“No.” Zigdara steps past to look up and down the alleyway. “You have enough to worry about, I’ll not let that woman draw me into forgetting the girl I’m sworn to.”

Kque giggles, and I can’t help but smirk as my duenna looks back to us with mild confusion.

“I still can’t believe Ina didn’t see it before.” The lover in my arms whispers. More to herself but… loud enough for us both to hear.

“See what?” I ask, but am already so very glad the cold tints my cheeks red as the answer is so fucking obvious.

And of course my duenna’s face doesn’t match my blush as she shrugs. “Before your group Ina had no teachings or experience in subtle courting of lovers. I… was intentionally careful as well.”

I smirk through it and move to wrap myself about her arm while keeping the other around Kque’s waist. “Well it’s a good thing I’ve gotten snatched up by so many wonderful teachers.”

And I get to enjoy feeling two titters of happy Amwella while we brave the evening’s chill and head home.

Home. Such an odd word Yrelia and I have joked about calling Lady Ophrit and Delphian’s Manor. Tasii refuted it at first, quiet somethings bothering her so much about that word. But with a soft nudge I explained.

It’s home because you’re all here. Because for the time being it is safe and warm and filled to literally bursting, with all the people I’d do anything to always come back to. And when that changes, when we finally get to leave Arudia… well… The Paths or campsites or little Inn-rooms will be home.

Home is where my family gathers.

That didn’t just calm her but… seemed to crack a shell. A hard brittle thing of protection she’d been keeping. We held her through some tears but… I think she went to Kque soon after. Shared skinship with her and Jevita and even Thodep that night.

In the past that might have worried me. That a lover couldn’t find the full comfort she needed in my arms. But… well… No one can be everything to anyone. Our little family works because we get that. Understand that each of us grows and bears different kinds of fruits. It… it makes me feel pretty inadequate sometimes.

Hope so much I’m not too much for them. That... that I'm starting to support them as much as they've supported me.

The Manor is alight with motion and life and all the good things when we finally arrive.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

“So…” Yrelia greets us at the door, an easy smile and bright eyes taking us all in. “I take it Emarial was very reasonable and totally willing to help us?”

I huff and shrug out of my coat. “Of course. Can just… go to sleep and let the woman thrice my age and experience handle Arudia.”

She winces. “That bad, huh?”

“Worse, actually.” Kque intones. “She like… really got into the weeds of things. Tried to tell Ina, our Ina, that actually we have to keep things this way and just… ugh. I hate her. So much.”

I glance over to see Kque so much more aggravated than I’ve almost ever seen her.

“Really?” Yrelia hisses. “Like…?”

“And I even did everything I could to make sure she was fully awake. Cleaned up. And back in bed with food in her belly before we even started.” Kque fumes.

Give her no excuses to be shitty about this. Were Kque’s exact words as we braved the cold after one of the keepers Ophrit assigned to watch over the slumbering Sun Spoken had come running over to tell us about her stirring.

“I should have come along.” Yrelia growls.

“I don’t think slapping her would actually help.” I intone gently.

“Well now I’m thinking I disagree.” Kque mumbles.

Yrelia grins at that. “Well… there is always the next time I see her.”

I step over and hook her and Kque’s arm, “No slapping the big Sun Spoken, please. I do not want you to bruise your hand again.”

Yrelia sighs performatively as I begin to pull them both along. “Fine…”

“I need a bath, and I think the big tub downstairs sounds wonderful.” I giggle and glance between the three here with me. “Am I going to bask in those warm waters alone or…”

And of course they all agree to join me.

** ** **

Can’t help but moan, quite loudly, as I finally settle down into the warm waters.

I expect the girl at my side to chide me, or sigh in amused performative annoyance but… Kque only giggles softly and slides closer while entwining our fingers.

Zigdara and Yrelia tumble in soon after, slipping down into the large floor-laid pool with us.

“I am so very glad that the Zeridii was willing to keep most of the Gemstone workings thrumming throughout Arudia.” My first lover murmurs happily.

I nod and shrug, “At least half of us would be frozen to ice-shaped girlthings if they hadn’t, and… it honestly wasn’t hard to keep the basic stuff active.”

Nothing dangerous was missed, thankfully. I’d been worried at first for the Arudian monsters since Jevita told me that there are quite a lot of them that rely on constant Gemstone things, but… again the Zeridii surprised me. Was actually unwilling to stop helping them. Which was nice.

And… that also created an interesting option if Veletross won’t let the monsters she’s keeping go. But… that’s kinda a last resort as she could be really shitty about it and hurt them.

“Other than Delphian and Ophrit… should we expect any other guests tonight?”

Yrelia eyes me carefully. “Possibly, if you’re interested in trying something.”

“Oh?” I ask.

But to my surprise it’s Kque who speaks up. “Athem is doing really well. With Thodep and her Big Archive's help, his Maktaba and him are… on pretty okay terms. Not perfect. But it’s willing to try. Especially after the Zeridii fully woke up.”

I shove down the guilt, think around the Divisions and Conflicts that could arise at the idea of a monster doing ‘really well’ and him being near people I care about.

“And… Did you need my songs for something?” I ask carefully. “It’ll be tricky but I can try”

“No. Nothing like that.” Kque waves a hand, dismissing that worry. “More just… we’ll all take dinner together and he’ll be in the room while you eat.”

I visibly let myself relax while nodding. “I can manage that. It’ll be good for him.”

Yrelia’s foot nudges mine. “And… Jevita thinks that one of the ways we can help you two figure out this command is like… exposure. Let you be around a person who identifies as male and like… not be attacked. Start making you feel natural and safer. If this thing is perception based, and Rahdian’s nothing but a woman to her command, then maybe them being labeled as a threat is something making it harder to remove.”

“Oh, that’s not a bad idea. Does he know like… things? About that? About me?”

Did they tell a monster about my past? About how much–

Kque shakes her head. “No. And other than my one mom we’ve not told anyone about either of your pasts or this command. We wanted to know if you were both comfortable, but also confident that this won’t like… cause an issue.”

“If I could avoid attacking or… or even being cruel to Zin I can certainly handle one of… them.”

Kque leans forward so she can fully see my expression. “How much will this hurt though?”

I purse my lips and look past her. “Depends. Seeing him won’t necessarily be a problem, the issue is… thought things. If I don’t think of a monster as a monster. I have to like… balance it. Talking could possibly cause more pain but… I need to figure this out. Especially after today.”

“I… Did you want to talk about it?” Kque settles back into comfortably sitting and wiggling our fingers together.

I sigh and shrug, leaning back to close my eyes. “Not much to really like… go over. She didn’t just say no. Or reject this out of ignorance. I… Like it would be worth trying to convince her to help, but probably pointless.”

They all pause, not saying anything.

I open one eye to find them… huh. Odd and very concerned looks for me.

“What?”

“Well that was obvious. She’s a cunt. We’ll… manage her when her storm blows through.” Yrelia nods, then scoots to sit right next to me. “I think… we all wanted to see if you wanted to talk about… the filth she was spewing. At you.”

“Oh.” I sigh. “That.”

“You don’t have to.” Kque murmurs. “We only ever pressed early and… and we were all pretty ignorant to just how bad it was. Not just for you but… You just seemed really angry and I wanted to give you a safe place to just… get it out. Scream even.”

“Thanks.” I murmur and purse my lips. “It… I’m not sure what to say. I get why she and so many feel like we need to… um…” Voice goes quiet, “Yeah. But it’s horrible and wretched and it looks like me and whoever got the last Odlock gemstone are going to be the last they would use so… why keep doing it and not devote everything to living well? Some of my… of the others at the Temple may seem fine but… that doesn’t matter. We couldn’t say no. Couldn’t… like walk away. No one tried till Rahdian and I, from what I know, but… we just adapted. Survived. Some did it better than others. But… others… um… I just… we were waiting for our next life. Hoping that those stories about souls getting reborn anew would happen and… and for a while I hated the idea of forgetting myself and not being able to experience the joy of waking up right but… but just before Aceso I… I just wanted it to end. Had my worst panic attack ever that final day and… and still had to go back and… and I was so numb but everything was screaming inside and…”

Deep breath.

“And I will not let them keep being used.” I spit, suddenly so angry again. “I know the ones here in Arudia had a little more choice in this since they had to volunteer to get that fertility Gemstone woven into them, but I don’t care. Arudian monsters were not given enough rights to live well and this probably seemed an opportunity to be safe and healthy. I don’t care how hard this curse bites. I will ask the Zeridii to reach out and stop the fucking Odlock Gemstones melted into their bodies from working if that’s what it takes. Then I will make sure none others get grown until this frozen land changes.”

“And if it doesn’t?” Zigdara murmurs, and while I do level her with a glare it withers a bit as I see her blank and calm features.

“Then we might just be seeing the last batch of children being born.” I nod. “If this generation is willing to use and burn people to get a daughter, then they don’t deserve them. More so for Lyttoral. I’ll crack the fucking Dune Wall myself with a Peeling Shrike after getting each of them out. Leave its broken shattered carcass as a reminder that this bitch means what she demands.”

The pause after that is… wonderful. Between these three lovers I see nothing but agreement and resolve.

And… I’m only half caught off guard by the quick peck on the cheek Yrelia gives me right before she whispers a soft and kinda sultry. “Good girl.”