CW:

SMUT! misgendering self in thoughts. Worry about body parts being the things that gender us. Dysphoria talk. Gerlcock talk. Talk about sex talk! um.... Talk about past lovers rejecting you over parts and threatening to send you back to abusers.

“Okay okay okay.” Ina purrs softly from beneath me, voice bubbling with her song. “One more deep breath, and…”

And the rush of soulflame makes the Ocean around us titter and my knees shake and… and my everything gets really warm.

A small bite.

“Fuck.” I huff as my eyes open, pulling from looming over to fall sprawled on the bed next to Ina's panting form.

This has been something Ina’s spun for me. A sharing of Amwella without the need for… for sex. I was still a mess and she was busy and I was ready to go back to Kikii or… or find a tavern but…

She’d offered this. To share her Wellspring. Even as she was running about the Academy and risking her everything.

“You’d have to give me a minute.” She chuckles.

That would set me to a sputtering mess a few days ago but… she’s teased like that before. It's comforting... Especially since I... I'd really like to ask her about...

So now I can’t help but titter with her. Murmur softly, “Thanks.”

“Course.” She replies, reaches out to take my hand. “Anything you need.”

I accept the offer of her hand, and squeeze back. Wait till my heart is steady and Amwella is quiet to ask. “Ina?”

“Mmm?” She sighs.

“Is… I wanted to ask… Or… or tell um… something. If that’s alright?” I explain. “But if it's too much or uncomfortable or… or anything. You’ll stop me? Right? Not… not be upset?”

I glance over to watch my fellow Sun Spoken rolling over to rest head on an arm. Eye dancing with those soft violet shades behind a tumble of still damp hair. “Of course. Anything. Temple stuff might hurt but… that’s okay. I won’t be upset at you for needing to talk about it.”

Nodding I take a deep breath and just… dive forward. “I… I’m not changed like you are. I still have the… the old bits. Below. And I thought you knew that but you’ve still been really flirty which is really nice but also confusing because you said you’re only interested in girl lovers and I… I don’t know if the rest of your lovers know and I… I don’t know how to… um…”

“Oh. Fuck.” She reaches out to regather my fingers. “Rahdian… Your bits don’t make you any less of a girl. At all. And like… my flirting was intentional but… Was I being too pushy?”

“I… No!” I sputter back. “I just… I can’t… I didn’t want you to um… See me and get upset or feel obligated to… um…”

“I wouldn’t get upset. Won’t. Promise!” She insists. “If you decide to do that with me.”

I look away. “I just… I'm worried. That you’ll see me as… as…”

Male. Boy. Wrong.

“You’ve been this really enthralling girl since you first arrived.” She murmurs softly, understanding my unspoken fears. “The second Sun Spoken I’ve ever met. Kind and wonderful and tall and mysterious and… and like me. A girl who gets it. The parts don’t make us who we want to be. We choose that. And… well fuck, I can’t see you as anything but that. So much that this really nasty curse I have doesn’t even poke at me. Because it knows and I know and Aceso knows that you’re a girl. The parts don’t change that.”

“I know…” I huff. “I just… I couldn’t handle that. Not a second time. Especially not… not from you. ”

She tilts her head, then her expression goes pained. “I... I'm so sorry. You had someone reject you over this.”

Not a question. I’ve… hinted at this. Probably outright said it. But… Never the details.

“Two people, actually. Same day.” I nod, feel a little moisture bubble as the words come out in a rush of raspy breath. “Girls who… who were like your Lovers are. Snatched me up and taught me how to live on the Paths. Didn’t mind me hiding my face at first. My ‘scars’, as I told them. And they… I… I was able to just… pleasure them. Consume Amwella to fuel my changes and they didn’t guilt me into doing more or letting them do the same. But… promised to not judge me if or when I was ready to show them more of me. Then one day… I did.”

Memories flash. Shouting. Anger. Then calling me all kinds of things. Arguments. Me… me trying to explain. Finally telling them where I was from and that I was Sun Spoken and… and them wanting to… to… to get a duenna.

Send me back.

I’m a sobbing mess then, and Ina moves to offer a warm hug that I can only nod and fall into.

Can’t really explain more. But… I don’t have to. She understands. Of course.

“I’m so sorry, Rahdian.” She murmurs softly.

And… fuck does the name help. Like some lighthouse burning bright to guide me.

“My Dreamers told me that the parts don’t matter too.” I whisper. “Even promised that I could keep anything I wanted.”

“They’re right, of course, but also… Like, I don’t want you to feel like it’s wrong to want changes before you do things like that? But… also that you’ll find me nothing but accepting and enthralled and hornii as fuck if you want to try more beforehand.” She offers.

I feel myself warm as my mind really considers her words. Nuzzled deep into her arms and face hidden as I think about how it would be to… to say yes.

To feel her hands and lips and skin and soul pressing against mine and… and…

“Um… R– really?” I whisper.

“Mhm.” She pulls back then leans around to make sure that I get to see her eyes and grin. “Absolutely.”

“Like… Right now?”

Ina’s eyes dance with a giggle that she refuses to let bubble out as she murmurs. “I mean... You did give me a minute since you last took a bite.”

I blush, “Al– alright. Yeah. I’d… really like that.”

She does giggle then, and the delight that seems to pour off her is… it makes everything in my head stop for a second. Get lost in the sound of it and her eyes and… and…

Then her lips are at mine after a deft and fluid adjustment of her body. Soft and warm. Gently pressing but only a little. The perfect offer of… all the things.

Before I consider it, I… I’m lifting a hand to her cheek. Returning the kiss. Pressing back against her and moving atop to loom over. Moving hands through her hair while another finds her hips and… and…

I’m pulling back. Dizzy with her and something else.

An odd… sense of wrongness.

I look down to find Ina, still smiling but… softly. Carefully. Question being whispered. “You okay?”

I consider that for a second while still kinda straddling her. “I… This… I feel like… I dunno. Something feels… off. Not wrong. I don’t want to stop but… What I just did feels… Too much like before? When I had to just get Amwella. But I don’t want this to be that. To be just… me taking while trying to hide and… Does this make sense?”

She nods and just… says so easily and plainly. “You had to do all the pleasuring before, and you’d like to instead let me take care of you.”

“I… oh.” I whisper. “You said that a lot better than I did.”

She smirks. “Lots of practice. My teacher in Hetaera things was really really thorough.”

“You… you’re a… like…?” I whisper and feel my eyes widen.

The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Some professional performer!?! One who... Like... then why is she even interesting in m-

She wiggles free of my legs grip to sit up and very carefully takes my face in her hands. “Not officially. Just… pretended with her to bring in extra coin for a while. She’d be the real Hetaera if she wanted. But this… makes sense. And I want to ask you something. If that’s okay.”

My heart thunders in my ears, and I nod.

“You have this gorgeous body you’ve woven with spell and will and… and pure stubborn determination.” She whispers. “As pretty as all the stars above. But, you’ve not really been able to enjoy it with someone else. Right? Not felt them enjoy all of you?”

My heart flutters at her words for my body while my mind worries over the rest. How... No. Not even with Kikii. Either time. She… I couldn’t risk her getting scared or curious or… or worse.

I shake my head, and expect her eyes to darkness with the sadness of that admission but… they only glimmer and dance as she whispers so softly and warmly. “Would you like to swap places? Let me sit atop and like… love on you until you can barely walk?”

I bite my lip, remembering how some gerls seemed to… to struggle to walk right away if I wasn’t careful when I gobbled up Amwella. But… I nod.

Desperate to know what that’s like.

She smirks, then helps us adjust. Before I know it, leaning over and grinning down at me while eyes shine with… with such…

Hunger?

“This okay?” She asks.

“Yeah.” Is the answer I give. I… I’ve felt hornii before. Burned with desire as a painfully beautiful woman lay beneath me but… That is such a small word for the rushing warmth and desire and pressure bubbling up between my breasts and legs and head.

In reply Ina leans down and pulls me into our second kiss.

And… despite the realization that the previous was probably the best I’ve ever enjoyed with another… This one is better.

Way way better.

From the way her small body presses into mine, and fingers gently slip up to tangle through my messy mane of hair, to… to how she doesn’t just press lips but nibbles and caresses me with her tongue and leaves me bubbling and warming and wriggling and–

An arch of my back and my Amwella thrums with the Spark Call. The soulborne melody to another requesting an intimate dance of soul and flesh.

Before I can think to panic, Ina is giggling into my lips. Filled to bursting with energy and…

Her Amwella echoes back its own mirthful and delighted reply. Clear and perfect and without hesitation.

Yes.

Delicately soft fingers dance down my sides while mine sort of just… sit between wanting so much to reach out and return the touches but… also wanting to just drop back and let her work. But before I can think past Ina’s kiss the decision is made for me. My shirt is being pulled up and over and off. Laid to twist just at my wrists as Ina smirks down at me, eyes bright and dancing over my naked chest while she nibbles at her lip.

Filled to bursting with bubbling excitement… for me. The half-woven gerl beneath her. And… probably the things she’s planning to do to her tonight.

“Keep this here for me?” She purrs, gripping at the shirt tangled about my hands.

“O– okay.” I reply dumbly.

Then she’s moving. Dragging nails down my arms while gifting me an even softer kiss. One that mimics the gentle teasing motions of her hands while they brush over sides and hips and breast and… and really sensitive nipples.

I’m writhing beneath her. Can’t even stop some odd sound from bubbling up from the mess inside me. A churning storm of heat and pressure and tightness. Almost too much to handle. But… Ina has me pinned.

Crushed between desperate desire for her touches to never stop and… and for her to just… take a bite.

A purring giggle rumbles through her as fingers explore my body. Caress and brush and rake over curves I didn’t even know were there. Eventually slipping beneath the soft pants I’m wearing to enjoy the skin stretched over a hip.

“This still okay?” She whispers, pulling back from our kiss and stilling her everything.

I know she can… can feel me. The thing between my legs straining against cloth and probably bumping her legs and thighs and even butt every few wiggles.

But still she waits.

Because… fuck. She gets it. So easily. How much our bodies can betray us, and how much It can hurt to have another assume what we’ve wanted based on stupid reactions we could basically never control.

“I… I think so.” I whisper, gripping the shirt tighter. “Can… Would it be okay if I touched you back while… um…”

“Of course.” She nods, and waits for my hands to pull free and carefully move up to hover just away from her hips.

“I– Ina?” I whisper.

“Yes?” She breathes softly back.

Deep breath.

“I really really want this. But, If… if I have to stop. Or… I… Is that… Alright? You won’t be upset?”

“We can stop whenever you want.” She responds easily. “No obligations. As much or little as you want. I… would you like me to say where I’m moving next? What I think you’ll enjoy? Work together to like… pick what you’d like me to do?”

Takes me a second to like… understand that.

“It won’t like… mess this up?” I whisper.

Ina shakes her head, very serious but still with that soft smile. “Nope. Words during sex are fucking wonderful.”

“Oh…” I nod, taking that in. “Okay.”

She grins, and her smile seems to… to cause the storm inside to bubble up and over the little worries. Help me think past them.

“So… Kisses across lips and face and neck, then probably down to chest?” She asks. “Tongue and such teasing at breasts and nipples?”

Fuck. Okay. She was right. Hearing her just… lay out how she wants to touch me is wonderful.

“A– avoid like… any stubble? I’m pretty good at getting it all but… could miss some?” I reply, feeling the heat burning across my cheeks. “But the um… the rest sounds um… really really perfect.”

Ina very very carefully curls her hand at my hip, “And… While I do all that… I could begin to use my hands down here. Thighs and hips and well… yeah. Your gerlcock.”

I can’t stop the giggle that sputters out at that... that word! And the weird way she says it! More like 'gel' than 'girl'. “Wh– what? My… my fucking what?”

She smirks. “Your gerlcock.”

I cover my mouth with my hands as I feel the heat touch my ears. “Th– that… But…”

“Would you like me to call it something else?” She whispers with glittering eyes.

“N– no it… it’s perfect.” I huff, trying to control my messy laughter. “Just… I’ve always been so… like… Never… I just… It was always this thing I had to hide, else show everyone that… that I hadn’t finished becoming the girl I am. Couldn’t think of it as anything but… but this very not girl thing. But then you just… so easily… just…”

“Right?” She smiles. “Like… It’s not what makes anyone anything. Even my Aceso, who's filled to bursting with hate for them, just… doesn’t see it as anything but a wigglie bit. People are so fucking varied and after seeing her memories I’m pretty sure she’s fucked all sorts. So… like… gerlcock. A cock that a girl has. Which…. That means that there must be monsters with cunts and tits.”

I can’t stop another giggle that joins with the messy hornii warmth at her words. Even at her need to use that word when talking about men. She laughs with me, and it takes at least a few deep breaths to steady ourselves.

“So…” She purrs, voice still dripping with the mirth from before but… twisting it into hungry interest. “Rahdian… Would you like me to do all that to you?”

She avoids the word, but I can’t help but grin back up at her. “Yes. Ina. Please. That… yeah.”

“Would you… like your pants off?” She asks, booping my nose with hers.

I giggle again. Nod.

And after some wriggling about. I lay completely naked beneath her.

“Hmm…” She murmurs, eyes rolling up and down my body as she straddles me. “Is this still okay?”

I risk a glance down at… at me. And… huh. Like… I’m still not sure about the 'gerlcock' amidst it all but… wow. Okay. A mirror is one thing, but looking down to see your body beneath another’s is… something else.

“Would… um… Ina?” I whisper.

“Mhm?”

“Would you be okay being naked too?”

She grins and nods her head, then takes a bit to pull off the undershirt and shorts and… and underthings. Shaking out and pushing the hair from her eyes before locking them on me. Blushing through her smirk as she watches me watch her.

I… she’s so pretty. Dark skin and hair and… and eyes that shine even brighter with it all showing and… and those tits are so cute and soft looking and… and it's like her confidence bubbles up even more than before.

And I… Like sure I really really like her body but… Normally this would hurt. A lot.

Look back down over mine, then back up to hers.

But it doesn’t. I see parts that I’d like to change as I compare, sure. But the old painful jealousy isn’t really there. More like… seeing a future another girl’s claimed and just… moving toward my own that looks similar.

Ina doesn’t poke or prod. See’s my thinking thoughts and just… smiles while waiting. Only murmuring when I’ve settled and looked up to meet her gaze. “Thank you.”

“Huh?” I reply dumbly.

“That…” She sighs happily. “Was amazing. Getting to watch you like… experience that.”

“I… oh.” I whisper. “Yeah. Just… like I got most of the body I needed before I realized it, didn’t I?”

She grins. “I hate that it took so long for you to get to like… feel that. But, still. Thank you for letting me watch. And choosing to be here with me.”

I smile, vision a touch blurry from tears I refuse to hide. “Thank you for… for helping me see this.”

Leaning down, Ina boops my nose again. “Would you like me to keep going?”

My everything warms right back up again at that. Quicker than I thought possible and leaving me to just… whisper. “Yes, Please.”

Then she starts, and it’s… everything she promised and more.

Lips brush mine before trailing down to nibble at soft jaw and tender neck and… and all while a hand caresses and dances all about my hips and thighs. Barely avoiding touching anything too sensitive just yet as she teases and praises me into making soft sounds of need and enjoyment.

Only when I’m so hard in both nipple and gerlcock that it kinda aches does she gently move. Beginning to almost draw soft tantalizing patterns across my skin that just… only barely touch them. Then, she’s letting out a purring growl, and moving to fully envelope as much of a breast in her mouth as she can, and sliding fingers up and along my gerlcock.

Teeth tug while tongue dances. Fingers squeezing and rubbing and pressing and… and knowing just… all the right places to touch. And… and I feel a wetness slowly dripping and while for a bit I think it's me, soon I realize that it’s her and… and that fills me with even more warmth that… that I don’t know if I can…

Fuck. I… I don’t… but… she’s…

FUCK.

Everything inside me cracks, and something warm and wonderful and perfect is there to press close and hold me together through it. Weeping dribbling body mess mixes with what I know to be bubbling soulfire. Tittering Ocean’s tides mingle with a melody that swallows me. No, not just me. Us.

Us?

Ina’s gasping and panting and… and slumped across me. Lips and teeth clenched at my collarbone. Not breaking the skin but… drooling and latched tight. Which is kinda nice actually. Helps me pull things together and… fuck. She’s really cute like that.

But… Why is she so…

I focus on our Amwella and… huh?

Little crackles and sparks are like… popping about. Both even seem brighter than before. Which… That’s not right? She should have taken a nibble there. But… she didn’t?

Or…

“Ina?” I whisper softly.

She murmurs bleary nothings. And eventually… a question?

Am I okay?

“Y– yeah. Really really good. Fuck. Thank you.” I reply the second I understand. Wrapping arms about her even tighter.

She mumbles other things. But… whatever happened there really drained her. Which… I mean both our Amwella seems bigger so…

“Sl– sleep. For a bit.” She forces out. “Th– that oke?”

I giggle and reach over to tug a blanket over us, promising her that it’s more than okay as she falls asleep in my arms.