This isn’t a good look. Sometimes we’ll get… unexpected visitors. Every year or so a woman will sneak into the temple in hopes of getting a night with a man here without needing to pay the temple or wait in the long queue.

I look like a thief! Or worse…

“Uh…” Is all I can reply as I look back up at her.

She doesn’t raise her voice, just takes a threatening step toward me.

I let out a high pitched “Eep!” while scrabbling backwards on three limbs, trying to carefully cradle the tome to my chest.

Quick as lightning, Zigdara leans down and wraps a hand around my ankle before lifting my entire body up to hang upside down. I barely keep the notebook from falling to the floor.

“I should have you thrown out one of the temple windows.” She snarls.

I know she won’t do it, but I can feel the binding crack in my fingers and panic. “Zigdara, Please!” I finally manage to squeak out.

“No? Mayhaps into the sea then? Can little rats swim?”

I try to crane my head to look up to see her face, but in the pause she reaches down to grab one of my arms and twist me upright. Then I am settled on my feet, restrained by my wrist now.

“How did you even get in here?” She looks me up and down, anger turning to disgust. “Did you think all our men would just fall upon you at the sight of tits and ass?”

“I um… Well you see I was asked to–” I try to lie.

“Save it.” She huffs as she looks around the room, then calls out to people outside my chambers, “Get in here!”

There is a pause, then two more Duenna enter, both still taller than me but only by a few inches.

“Sorry Counselor.” One says while the other glances around the room. Duenna are technically allowed into our chambers, but only in an emergency or by express permission by one of the Council Duennians or Sangoma.

I guess all my yelps and screams got their attention, and when I didn’t reply they went and got whichever Council Duennian was left here to guard Jawdat and myself.

“Hold this one.” Zigdara says as she shoves me toward the two Duenna.

They catch and hold me fast as Zigdara moves through the room. I struggle a bit, mostly to keep the book safe, but they seem satisfied with firm grips around my arms and shoulders.

After Zigdara seems convinced that the room is empty of… well… me. The old me. She steps through the archway between two bookshelves into the bedchambers.

I glance down at the book. Pages peek out from the crumbling bindings, the edges flaking away with every moment that passes.

“He’s not here.”

I jerk my head up to see Zigdara come into the room and stalk directly toward me. I try to step back, but am held in place by the two Duenna.

A soft crack stops her in her tracks. She lifts her foot to stare down at one of my puddles of vomit. I expect her to be disgusted or annoyed, but instead she kneels down and pokes it with a finger.

Then, grabbing one of the tiny roots that sticks from the puddle, she lifts it to her nose and sniffs it.

Eck, gross.

Her eyes go wide, then narrow as she looks back up at me. Her focus drops to the book I’m holding.

She can’t possibly know. I fight to stop from clutching the book tighter. I mean… I’ve never read about old magic like this, so she can’t know about this! …Right?

She rises. “What’s going on here?”

Lie Lie Lie!

“I eh… It’s like you said!” I stammer out. “I snuck in hoping to get a free night with one of the men.”

She walks closer, her eyes flickering back up to my face.

“He um.. Wasn’t here! So I um… thought I would read and hide till he came back.” I bumble on. “I’m really sorry. I’m new to the big city and someone told me it wouldn’t be that big of a deal.”

A long moment passes as Zigdara studies my face, then she just holds out her hand.

I stare at it, confused.

“Give me his book, then we’re going to find your clothes and take you to the City Duenna.”

“Oh…” I pause looking back down to the book, mind racing.

I was hoping to read more from it. Maybe find out how it changed me? Or… who it was that changed me. WAIT! If it does detail how I changed and Zigdara or some other person from the temple reads it they might try to change me back!

“It’s mine!” I blurt before jerking my head back up.

A pause.

“Really?”

“Mhmm! Yup!” I reply with more confidence. Not technically a lie!

“You left your clothes… but brought a book?”

“I heard he likes books! And this one is special. One of a kind! Was planning on offering it in a trade!” I can’t help but smile a little. Would I have done that?

Zigdara raises an eyebrow as her hand falls a few inches.

Okay probably not… but I was known as odd and stupid! She wasn’t generally assigned to guard me, and there have totally been other men here who have given sex to sneak ins for nothing.

She drops her hand and looks past me, to the two women who still hold me in place. I can feel them shift.

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Then Zigdara lets out a sigh and points to the woman on my left. “Take her to my chambers and call for the city’s duenna. Tell them the situation, I’ll come see her as soon as we find our misplaced male.” Then she motions to the other. “You're with me.”

I let out my own huff of relief as they leave the room. The duenna still holding me begins to guide me by the arm out of my old chambers.

Okay, so new problem. I’m at the least getting arrested for trying to fuck myself without temple permissions. At worst… At worst they find out who I really am… no. No who I was. And try to change me back.

Fear runs down my spine. Should I try and destroy this book?

The temple itself is long. Running a good length of the Dune Wall that stands against the Jade Sea, acting as a multi-mile long dam that blocks the ocean from pouring into the city below and the land beyond. Eventually we have to take a side passage that leads us to a winding stone stairwell and I look out and see the city beneath us.

Will she be mad if I destroy it? I wonder, thinking back to the spirit from the sap. This was Her book, right? I try to carefully open it. The binding lets out a crack in protest and I almost trip trying to catch a few pages as they slip out.

The duenna holds me fast and I miss my grab for the pages.

“What are you doing!?!” She snaps as they disappear over the railing.

“Sorry! I just wanted to check to make sure it wasn’t…” I trail off as the pages disappear from view into the darkness.

“Well that’s a good way to fall off,” She replies, clearly annoyed. “You can look it over while we wait for the City Duenna.”

I close the book and cringe at the crunching noises it makes.

With that she continues to usher me down the stairs and through the passages. With every step my focus is entirely on the book, on holding it as carefully as possible. We move through the lowermost wall and over a few bridges that cross the fast moving rivers that disperse cleansed water from the Jade Sea.

Eventually we reach a large tree that grows against the Dune Wall. Through centuries of careful work; stairs, homes and even a small pool had been cultivated and grown from its trunk and branches.

The duenna leads me up the winding stairs and through a heavy wooden scaled curtain that covers what must be Zigdara’s chambers. It’s smaller than I expected. Barely larger than my bathing area, with most of the space taken up by a desk, a sitting chair on its other side, and two larger bowl shaped lounging chairs. Stacks of books and scrolls cover most of its surface, but my eyes are quickly drawn away by the shelfs that cover most of the walls.

As the Duenna sits me down in one of the bowl chairs I gawk at the amount of weapons that sit on the shelfs. A few are similar to the Duenna’s armaments of the city, small shortswords and a single spear, but most are strange exotic things of all sizes. Ranging from little sharp knives, to a large clubbed thing that had to be suspended above a small archway that I can see leads to an even smaller bedchamber.

“Stay here, Don’t touch anything.” The Duenna commands before turning and pushing through the curtain.

I hear her call out to someone. Probably a neophyte to go find the city duenna.

I sigh and look down at the notebook. Carefully I crack open the binding, flinching at the noise it makes. I really hope I didn't lose anything important.

I start with the pages where the sap had been. They are really torn up, way worse than before. Only a few scraps of the page hang tentatively to the binding. The glyphs are crude but I translate what I can, grateful that other languages come so naturally after many years of practice.

Sleep, Void, and Serenity. Are the glyphs that appear throughout the circle. I don’t know enough about foreign magics… or any magics for that matter. I huff in annoyance.

Definitely not the Alchemy of Lyttoral, my city, that mostly involves brewcraft to create potions and steams. I muse as I begin to carefully turn to the next pages. Anyone can do it, but it requires specific ingredients, temperatures, and recipes. Sangoma says there are dozens of Alchemy Sororitas throughout the city that are murderously protective of their secret formulas, and only the most basic and benign are widely known and shared.

I could never learn the specifics. Or better put, I was never allowed to be taught any. No males of the temple were.

The next parts illustrate a scene across their torn pages. A pool or lake surrounding what looks like a large winding tree. Holes bore through the beautiful colors, but some words can be seen, written in a language I can also understand.

Pure Sap is written within the glistening purple used to shade the waters.

It remains warm despite– The words cut off and only resume with; Beasts weep constantly, but won’t approa–

Those are the only words I can translate. I turn a few more pages, but they are even more torn. I want to scream at my luck that the last half of this book was the most torn by the roots.

Well… At least I can safely say that this can’t be some important book to her.

I turn back to the image of the pool of… tree sap? Like what changed me? Was it a drop from this pool? Is this the Weavers Wood? Was whomever wrote this able to travel through it safely?

The largest intact page from the binding circles comes loose as I turn back to it. While balancing the book on my lap I look over the binding circles on the free page.

Could this be from the Academy of Erudition? It’s nearly on the complete opposite side of the Weavers Wood from here, but I’ve met enough travelers and read enough books to know it is the best place to study magic.

“I grabbed you this.”

I jerk in surprise and turn to see the duenna just behind me. In her hands are some clothes.

“Oh… Thanks.” I carefully close the book as I calm my racing heart. “Sorry, I didn’t hear the curtain rattle.”

She shrugs and I take the clothes. I stand, put the book on the chair, and dress for the first time in my new body.

They're just a simple pair of short shorts that don’t even go half way down my leg and a shirt so loose it might as well be a shawl. I pause as I finish adjusting the top to just… look down at my form.

My skin is a little darker than I'd thought, but also more… bluish in its hue? My hips are wider while the fat I’d had on my legs and arms is lessened. If anything I seem to have more muscle overall. Sangoma made sure all her charges did daily exercises and stretches, but I was definitely one of the smallest and least athletic of the males under her care. I never had abs. And while these still aren't anything compared to the men, they are definitely there!

No one will recognise me.

I reach up for the first time to feel my hair, and find that there is a volume to it that wasn’t there before. It also seems to go down past my shoulders.

A flutter sings through my chest, and I can’t help but smile at it all.

“Thank you.” I whisper, hoping She can hear me.

I’m free. Finally, impossibly, I am free.

“Really stupid to ditch your clothes.” The duenna stares at me while leaning against the desk.

Okay, not completely free.

I don’t reply, I honestly don’t care. My thoughts wander back to the temple, to my old life. To my books, Jawdat, and all the things I am giving up for this new body.

And none of it matters! I don’t want any of it! I want to start this new life!

I’d dreamt of it since I was a child. Spent countless nights wrapped in despair at the future I knew was impossible. I feel water gather in my eyes as a giggle escapes my chest.

“What’s wrong with you?”

I don’t care that I’m not alone. And I can’t help but smile as I look at the duenna.

“Nothing.” I reply and pick up the old book. Struggling to stop more little bursts of laughter.

Before she can reply a harsh trill cuts through the night.

I’ve never seen the thing that makes that noise, but Sangoma told me once that its strings are as wide as her arms and made of pure twisted metal. When the temple’s men are in danger a large dull blade will be drawn against its strings to send an impossibly loud thrum out over the city.

I’d only ever heard it the night Hitorra went missing.

The Duenna’s eyes meet my own, and her shock strangles my short-lived euphoria. As her belief that I am just some stupid woman begins to shift.