Content warning:

Subtle mentioned nudity and brief mentions of after sex cleaning.

Cleaning the mess he left in me was fucking annoying. But, I honestly should have thought of that before I stuffed him inside. I don’t bother getting all my clothes back on, and… well… I do enjoy the look on Zin’s face as I leave his bathroom wearing nothing by my sexy purple underthings.

“Thanks for letting me shower.” I murmur as I crawl into his big bed, and snuggle up to him.

Under his thick wonderful quilts Zin has only redressed into some simple sleeping shorts, and… I almost giggle as I subtly notice things start to pop up again as I wrap myself around him.

“Of course.” He whispers back as he carefully wraps a big arm around me.

A long pause. This… fuck this is normally where Yrelia is great. Every time we’ve had an overnight client she knows just what to say and how to get them to… to be comfortable and entertained until we all pass out. Fuck, she’ll even just fuck them into exhaustion if she thinks things might get quiet and weird!

Zin and I have already kinda talked ourselves into a polite… um… well not friendship. But… There isn’t much else I want him to know about me. And… Fuck I was able to use the shower as an excuse to avoid a conversation about my Amwella drinking, but now… what if he presses it? I’m still fucking horrible at lying, and don’t know how long I can keep that line of questions from getting really awkward!!!

“Ina.” He whispers, and I nearly flinch.

I put on my best tired smile and turn to look up at his face. It’s only then that I notice him fiddling with some kind of weird crystal.

“A… Is that a Cultivation gemstone?” I whisper excitedly before I can stop myself.

I can’t ask Jevita about these things, and the little others will tell me is so fucking slim. The… My song magic is fucking great. And I love it. But… I dunno… Cultivation magic is just so weird and wild and… well it would have been how I could have maybe possibly changed had things gone differently.

“Hm?” He looks at it, pauses in worry. “Oh, yes. Um… Just a… It’s a simple thing. The first I found as a child. Doesn’t really work.”

I nod, a bit disappointed. Let the silence stretch…

“I was just wondering…” He murmurs. “But I didn’t want to be rude.”

I sigh, wince at the question I know is coming. Sort of… solidify myself for the lies and deflections I’d prepared in the shower.

“I’ll just… distract you if I don’t want to answer.” I whisper and wiggle to look away. Figuring it’ll be easier to lie if he can’t see my face.

“I recognize the scars from Cultivation on your leg and… well… was wondering what happened?”

That… well fuck that question catches me off guard.

“Oh, um… No it’s…” I pause, gather my thoughts and consider how much I want to tell him. No other clients gather enough courage to ask a crippled woman how she lost a leg. “I honestly don’t remember most of it…”

A few memories flash. Quick and without much context. Lightning, pain, fury, monster monster monster MONSTER…

I flinch, but can still talk. “I fucked up. Tried to hurt someone who injured my lovers, I… um… Well, I paid for it.”

A long pause. I don’t offer any more details.

“How?” He murmurs, “To… to take your entire lower leg with Cultivation is… Needlessly cruel.”

I shrug. “Next time I’m going to just… get my lovers out.”

“I mean… Ina, Cultivation is… Stubborn. Once changes are set they are very very hard to undo. Honestly impossible in all but the rarest cases.”

I can’t help but quirk a smile as I look down and away. Jevita said the same thing, but… song magic seems to still work. Although… would be nice if the scars would start to vanish…

I sigh performatively. “I know that Cultivation healing isn’t really possible for me now. I don’t have a secret hope to purchase myself a new leg, Zin.”

“Just.” He reaches out, touches my shoulder with the same hand he holds the crystal in. “I…”

He trails off.

I turn back, give his worried face a glowing smile. “Zin, really. I’m fine! This is just physical pain and a little unwieldy at times. I could have lost SO much more that night, almost did lose someone I love very dearly. This…” I lift my maimed leg under the quilt a little. “Is just… It’s a reminder we fucked up, sure. But also a reminder of what I should always focus on. My lovers are everything to me, and I will always keep them safe.”

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

“That’s…” His expression is so confusing. Like… he doesn’t believe my words but is sure of the honesty of them. “Ina you're a very singular person.”

“Huh?”

“I mean…” He looks back down at the little crystal between his fingers. “I don’t imagine you normally sleep with your stone leg on.”

I quirk an eyebrow, “No, but… When I’m with a… I mean It’s honestly very weird and ugly.”

“Would you be more comfortable without it?” He glances back at me.

That stops me cold. “Um… I mean… Sure? But seriously it’s an ugly mess of–”

Then he’s pulling the quilt up and moving down to my leg. I almost jolt up. Suddenly worried, “Zin, you don’t need to…”

He pauses. I look away as a blush of horror and embarrassment overtakes me. “It’s fucking horrid under there. I…”

“Do you sleep better without it?”

“That’s… I mean yeah. But…”

“Ina,” He insists, lays a hand up on one of mine. “Please. I want you to be comfortable for the few hours of sleep we can share here.”

I sigh, and… just nod.

Only glance back after he’s undone the latches and pulled the false leg free. His expression is… well at least he’s not about to vomit. But I can see his eyes widen and fingers go stiff as he sees the weird mingled mess of cultivation scars, song woven healing, and little violet sap things that we still have no idea what they are. It honestly looks like a gnarled tree branch made of flesh.

“I… What did this to you?” He whispers without looking away. Horribly transfixed by the sight.

“Cultivation, like I said.” I huff and move to re-cover my almost naked form with the warm quilt. That almost makes him jerk, then he’s looking back to me. I hold out my hand for the leg and he passes it to me without a word. I place it down in the space between myself and the edge of the bed. Not willing to settle it too far away.

He welcomes me back into his arms, and… well… as I wriggle to try and keep my maimed leg away he seems to… well not chase it but… try to get me to lay comfortably in ways that make it end up brushing against him. It’s… well it kinda puts me between a state of worry but then… well… kinda glad he’s not grossed out by this messed up part of me.

After that… well I kinda just passed out… I guess. Oblivion is…

Division!?!

And the dream is simple quiet void. My single little spirit sitting amidst the nothingness. It's lonely. Until....

“What's your name?”

“Um… Inamatorii, but please, just call me Ina.” I answer quickly, glad for the company!

“What took your leg?”

“I… um… What?”

“What took your leg?”

“I… It was Cultivation. I don’t fucking know. I barely remember that night.”

“Why would someone do that to you?”

“Because I’m Sun Spoken? I… that’s what they said before attacking us... I think? I don't like thinking about that night.”

“...”

“...”

“...Is that how you touch souls?”

“Being Sun Spoken? Oh yeah it's kinda the best! But... It’s called Amwella. She wants me to gather it into myself. By drinking little bits off people I pleasure. But I think souls are… or maybe the better name is a spirit? But that could also just be our minds and thoughts. It’s all kinda a muddle that I'm not nearly smart enough to understand!”

“Who is She?”

“Hm?”

“The She who has you gather this… Amwella.”

“Oh! Um… She’s kinda my… um… Well everyone else would just know Her as The Weaver. But to me she’s kinda… um… well a bit of an almost lover who lives in my head and dreams... I think? She’s the one who claims women to become Sun Spoken.”

“...”

“I… Who are you?”

“...”

“Hello?”

“Rest now, Inamatorii. Do not dream tonight.”

“Oh. Okay! Goodnight!”

It’s of course pain that drags me from sleep. Rippling lightning up my leg and splitting iced headache just above my left ear.

“Fuck.” I croak, reaching for one of my lovers. “Yrelia, can you…”

I open my eyes to see beautifully colored ceiling tiles and a huge empty bed. Then everything comes back to me. That… huh that went surprisingly well! I sit up, and wince at the pain. Look about and find Zin just turning to look at me from the little desk across the room.

“Good morning.” He says, very much my opposite with that bright morning grin.

“Ugh.” I just… lean into the badly trained Hetaera face now. Don’t need to fake it. “Would be if my head and leg didn’t fucking hate me right now.”

But he just smiles apologetically. “Can I get you anything for the pain?”

I can’t help but sigh and smile painfully back. “Just… What time is it? I don’t want to keep my teacher waiting when she gets here.”

He nods, “It’ll still be over an hour till a carriage will arrive with her. I was actually hoping to talk a bit before you left.”

He turns the little chair he sits on and faces the bed I’m still curled up in. Face serious. I… don’t like that. Fuck… fuck fuck fuck. Is he going to ask for some of the money back? Or…

“I… I didn’t want to pressure you last night on this.” He leans down, elbows on his knees and hands clasped. “But… You… The rumors are very very true. About your… um. Abilities.”

Fuck!

I sigh, don’t even have to try to fake the pained annoyance on my face as I turn my half naked body toward the edge of the bed.

“I’d like to pay for your time again.” He adds when I don’t answer.

“That’s not…” I begin to latch my leg back on. “No. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

A long pause as I finish, turn back to see a carefully flat expression.

“Why not?” He whispers, hard and on the verge of some anger.

I offer him a pained smile. “I’m sorry, I’m being rude. My leg always is like this in the morning, and my head is trying to kill me right now. ”

That… cracks him a bit. His lips quirk. “Let’s… I shouldn’t have ambushed you with that first thing. Moon and Stars, You’re not even dressed.”

“Let me… um… gather myself?” I ask, motioning to the little stack of clothes left on the arm of the chair I sat in. “I’ll wash up a bit. Then… Then we can talk?”

A few minutes later I’m sitting in the fluffy chair with a warm mug of tea. Must have something soothing in it as my headache is much reduced. Too bad my leg will always be horrible without my morning songs. I considered trying to squeeze out a quiet melody in the bathroom… but didn’t want to risk Zin hearing. The pain does keep me carefully bitchy so hopefully that’ll kill any charm as I stumble through this. Maybe help scare him off.

“Thanks.” I nod to the mug, “Really helps the head.”

“But not the leg?” Zin asks as he stares at me from his desk chair.

I shake my head, “I forgot my… eh… medicines. Will just need to get them once I’m back at the inn.”

He nods, then. “About the future… If money is a problem, we can work out a more acceptable amount.”

I nearly choke. Three times was already such a fucking big sum of coin. To… to offer more is, well… Fuck!