Content warning:

Self harm and body bone/regrowth's, murder plans, mentions of nudity.

We awaken to warmth. Can’t help but smile sadly as we look about at our lovers.

They will hate us for this. The little spirit snuggles into the warm embrace of the larger’s confidence. But… This is our purpose. We protect more than just them.

So, with carefully trained precision, we remove ourselves from the entangled mess of lovers, ensure the warmth of our body is replaced with others, and slip over to our baggage. Once we find some warm clothes, we leave without a whisper of sound.

Cruel Arudian winds greet us as we pull the door of the inn closed. Then, after we take a few steps, we glance down to our maimed leg held aloft by Arudian stone. Consider the songs we could sing to handle the issue. We can’t move fast with this, and… and we abhor the idea of breaking the gift in our work.

Reaching down and we unlatch the gift, and as we carefully pull the stump free we begin to murmur a guttural ugly harmony of wondrous design. We nearly groan in pleasure at the pain of twisting bone and root and sap. Almost… almost lose the song to the ecstasy of overwhelming physical agony.

A crack, a snap, then a tear of blood and bone and blade wrests itself free of our stump. We test the balance of the incredibly dense and sharp twisting of bone. The bottom is rounded and clawed to ensure plenty of hold on most surfaces. But its two edges are as sharp as anything in this world or another. We pull our tights back down to cover most of it.

“Perfect for now.” We whisper.

Then we reach up to our temple and touch at the violation. No… To draw it out now, without examining and shattering the crystal used could cause a further breach. Need to save that for after. But…

There is a sound. A soft curious hoot that sings of worry and concern. We jerk over to see Lule poking his head out of the stable’s door.

We smile, pick up our Arudian stone foot, and approach. “You’re supposed to be asleep, Big Child.”

Lule tutters and wiggles, presses his big head into our chest.

“No, we have to…” We begin to coo to him as we scrutch his favorite spot.

Kill a monster? No, We can’t tell him that! It’ll frighten him so much! The smaller spirit yelps, cutting off our words.

“We forgot something in the city, will be back in the morning or tomorrow afternoon at the latest.” We assure him, then hold up our leg to latch it onto one of his straps. “Can you look after them for us? Big Child? Let them know we’ll return soon?”

He trills, not… not happy to see us leave. But trusting our will and words.

“Thank you!” We hug him tightly, then shoo him back into his stall. “Sleep well! Might bring treats if We remember.”

Then we shut the stable door, and turn to take off into the storm.

If we had a wellspring of Amwella, like in the days before our fracturing, we’d have simply bent the World Song to allow us to step directly to the parasite’s home before bringing down a crushing storm of wrath and ruin.

But… such a thing will take many many years of lovers' gifts to even begin to tease those powers back from the silence. So we’re forced to run through the storm.

** ** **

It’s late when we arrive back at the city's edge, and we’ve had to burn some Amwella three times to keep this body nourished and steady. The pain from the leg alone would kill if we didn’t understand how to enjoy the pleasure it’s screaming agony brings.

We find the home of the Parasite of Rell easily enough, nestled among rich houses and decadent wealth. As we approach we implore the World Song to tell us if the house is… huh… even less protected than the last. The daughters of this era truly are unworried and lax. Lights still burn from most of the windows, and for a moment we consider shattering the front door.

The larger murmurs with a growl that thrums through the mind between us. He still wishes for us to be his little slave… mind fucked into submission. Well… let’s see how he handles our return!

The smaller spirit worries though. What of Judic and the others who live here? We can’t… we don’t want to hurt them! Maybe we should pretend to be… like… here because we changed our minds? Get him alone? I mean we look really ragged! We could pretend like we’ve been abandoned or something. Kicked out by our lovers after a fight?

The larger spirit considers this, and agrees. So we simply step up to the door, and knock. It takes a few moments for us to sense movement, and then the door opens to reveal the older housekeeper that welcomed us before.

“Hello?” She asks, curious worry on her face.

The larger spirit guides our words and little flutters at worry. Pulls the smaller into the dance of little performances. We wrap our arms around ourselves and give her our best hurt and innocent smile. “S– sorry to come at such a late hour… was here earlier and… um…”

“Penelope, who is it?” We hear Judic call from deeper in the manor.

The housekeeper opens the door farther, revealing us to the older woman’s cold curiosity. “It’s uh, the young Hetaera from before.”

We look to Judic, a plea in our eyes as our teeth clatter a bit. “Sorry. Just… Didn’t know where else to go.”

Since our last merging, the larger spirit considered the signs those trained or familiar with us could watch for. Has taken the effort on the run over to soften our connection. Wither the Amwella that would normally purr through our words so naturally, and ensure that only a fraction of it could even be noticed.

“Please, come in.” Her face goes soft, “Penelope, I’ll take care of her.”

We allow a few tears to fall as we move into the house, even add a few shudders to shake through us as we look about. For the smaller spirit, it’s easy to wallow in pain and misery of how perfectly this thing hurt and fooled us. And the larger is happy to let her use it to keep up this performance, the best lies are shrouded in truths we can draw from the pain in our souls.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“Can I take your coat?” Jutic asks, looking us up and down.

“Oh…” We hesitate, look down at our damp and dirty attire. Our disgusted look is more at the need to use singular to remain unsuspicious. “I look like such a mess.”

“It’s fine, Ina.” She murmurs, helping us pull the half-frozen garment free to hang on a rack. “I’m just surprised to see you here. You didn’t come to the inn as I asked.”

It’s not an accusation, just… a question. Worry for the young woman shivering and alone and in such wondrous pain. We… Maybe we can use this to keep her safe. Judic never… Does she even know about the dream stone?

“Sorry.” We look down.

There is a long pause, then Judic lays a gentle hand on our shoulder. “Let's get you warmed up, and fed if you're hungry. Zin is upstairs with… eh… company. But I’ll let him know you're here in a bit.”

We nod, shivering. “Thank you.”

Then we are led to a little sitting room with a few comfy chairs and little tables. Judic makes sure we have a warm mug of tea before sitting in front of us.

“Ina?” She asks as we blow on the steaming liquid and take a little sip. “Why did you come here?”

We shrug, don’t have to pretend to feel guilt, just… lean into the solidified shame that we’ve accumulated on our run here. “Don’t have anywhere else to go. No money or…”

“What of the payment from before?” She guesses an answer, so we lean into it.

“After what you said… Things got… complicated.”

Judic’s face goes so sad. And we almost feel guilty. But the larger spirit’s nature seeps into us from the void. It’s not the same. Her master is a parasite that infects and kills and rots. We are a glorious soul, burned free of cursed shackles.

“I’m sorry.” She reaches out, touches our hand. “That… I shouldn’t have said that there. I just… I was hoping I could show you that I understood. That we were willing to…”

So… Our lovers were right then?

“Not a very good liar,” We lie, then trickle in easy truths. “She… she always sees right through them.”

We squeeze our eyes shut. Let the guilt fester in Judic’s soul at our words. At the lie that she cost us our everything.

“Oh… Oh Ina.” She sighs, squeezing our hand as we hold false tears at bay. “I am so so sorry. That was never my intention when I followed you. I just… I was trying to–”

“I can try and…” We stammer as if on the brink of sobs, willing to use a lie to get us alone with… with the monster of the house. “Willing to work. Will… will even give Zin more… more sex and…”

Pain, agony, death! Monstrous fucking parasite! The little spirit shrinks from the images and the rush of pleasure they bring the larger. But… avoids fighting her on them. Needing to avoid division.

“Ina you–” She winces in such pain at our offer, and begins to rise. “Zin will be happy to host you here as his guest. You don’t need to worry about anything like that, okay?”

We sort of… stall at that. We were expecting her to nod and agree to that. Or at least not seemed bothered by her master’s expected payment. But… not insisting that we’d be a guest and taken care of without expectations!

“Th– Thank you so much.” We murmur. Trying to puzzle out her part in all this. Judic can’t know about the dream stone. She’s tried to be polite and kind to us… despite it all.

“I’m going to go tell Zin that you’re here.” She begins to leave, turns. “He’ll probably be busy for a time, but I’ll be back in just a few moments to see if you need anything else.”

“Okay.” We whisper.

And then we’re alone with ourselves. Stuck at… at contemplating plans. Little spirit wants to just… fade and let the larger handle things, but the larger spirit needs her to keep this merging stable. This… causes problems. The small still struggles at the idea of… of killing anyone here. Even… even… someone who…

The command prickles as She is unwilling to think of them as anything other than people. The sting burns the mind and causes us to shudder. Footsteps sound, and we realize that we’d begun to cry at the pain. That our face must be a puffy mess as we turn to see–

Monster is here! Larger spirit growls.

Zin stands, barefoot and dressed in just a simple robe of dark maroon. Hair disheveled and eyes wide with worry. Judic stands just in front of him. A… well there is a protectiveness in her stance, but not a conscious one. She seems more… more like she wants to keep Zin back from us?

“Ina… I’m…” he whispers as he takes in our ragged state. Three hours of rushing back to him has left this body and its clothes a mess, now melted to a damp sad look that must make us look quite the tasty prey to his monstrous heart.

We don’t even try to stop the tears as we stare past her at him, even the smaller soul finds herself revisited with the anger from earlier today. Can’t… can’t resist as our mind is flooded with fury. Leg twists as we prepare to launch at the fucker that hurt us and almost spoiled the dream we–

“Zin?” Another voice calls from the stairs, “Who could possibly have your rushing away from–”

And then there are two. This new one still bears quite a few subtle markings that become quite plain in their state of undress. Dark skin, long messy hair, and eyes that shimmer with dark emerald hues. The smaller spirit jerks, larger hisses.

Division.

“Go back upstairs. I’ll return in a bit.” Zin doesn’t turn, doesn’t wish to take his eyes off us.

Fuck he’s… he might actually be a little younger than us… We… we can’t… The smaller spirit just stares in curiosity and fear at him as the larger glares in hatred. Understanding how hard it will be to push the smaller into hurting that one.

The younger man’s brow furrows. “Should I head out?”

We’re not hurting him. The smaller presses, realizing the larger’s desires.

Zin sighs, “No Vyre, just… wait upstairs please.”

The larger fumes. We should.

Vrye’s eyes narrow. “You already stood me up yesterday, should I expect another lonely night?”

“Shall I…” Judic murmurs to Zin, looks between myself and the new monster. “I can escort one or the other.”

But as she says this, Vyre just… stares back at us. It’s then that we realize we’ve been very focused on this naked person for a few seconds now. Way more than is polite. He smirks at us, playful and curious.

An opportunity? The larger purrs. But… consents to a sudden rejoining that leaves the small very confused and a little dizzy.

“It’s… you don’t need to–” We jerk to look down, a blush warms our face. Reflection of the smaller spirit’s confusion and surprise and embarrassment. “We interrupted your night of… of pleasure and companionship.”

“Ina?” Zin asks “No, Ina this… Judic mentioned that you needed help?”

The smaller spirit tries to poke and prod the larger for Her plans. But… the larger simply… relaxes. Prompts the smaller’s will to guide the conversations.

“This… this was a mistake.” We sigh, feeling… well not alone. But… so fucking odd as this huge spirit just… relaxes and lets the smaller guide things. The habits and nervous titters of her rising up and up to the surface. “We… you shouldn’t… We still can’t…”

He moves then, past Judic, and kneels next to us. “What happened?”

We curl away from his touch reflexively. Need to find his crystal. We just shake our head, don’t answer. Try to… to figure out how to handle this! The smaller will not murder the younger one, and the larger will not let us… Well, neither is willing to even pretend at being a Hetaera here. So… what do we do!?!

He looks back to Judic, she sighs. “I… The teacher and companions seem to have abandoned them. Left nothing but those sogging clothes on their back.”

Them? Both spirits perk up at that. She doesn’t sense our plurality… only… only wishes to avoid assigning us a gender until we ask for one.

That’s… Interesting. The larger considers.

While the smaller echoes. And very fucking kind.

“Why?” He touches our hand, looks between us and Judic.

Vyre sighs in annoyance and leans against the entryway, but… still watches us with interest. Totally unbothered by his own nudity. Just… very fucking happy in the flesh he wears. The smaller turns focus away from him, wanting to avoid pain.

We are NOT going to think about our opinions on that, thank you very much!!!

“She…” We stammer then squeeze our eyes shut. Wh… what do we even say here!?!

“You were right, about that slip of the tongue.” Judic murmurs. “Ina here is… well… like you I think. Her teacher found out and… things didn’t go well.”

“That’s…” I feel Zin’s fingers tighten. “Ina are you? Are you like me?”

Well this is a problem. We won’t lie about it. Won’t, even for a second, let them call us ‘boy’ again. But… can we just… like… tell them the truth? They all already know we’re Sun Spoken? How much fucking harm can this do while we figure out how the fuck to get that crystal and… and…

“Analogous.” We shake our head. “Similar but… opposite.”

Don’t focus on the killing. The smaller whispers to herself. The larger coos at her, but… doesn’t press it any farther…

That… gets a long and very confused pause from the group. Even the young Vyre.

“I… I don’t follow?” Zin presses.