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<01/01/2022 | Location Not Set>

There are times when I think back to every memory I've ever made and everything I've learned, amazed by how much progress can be made with time. I've certainly made at least a few mistakes in the past, but I've been learning from them, becoming a better person, a better version of myself, and all without compromising who I am in the process.

Of course, I couldn't do it alone; Lumina was here with me, part of the whole process. I think, if I were to read her mind now, she would be thinking the same thing from her perspective. She and I have come a very long way since 2009, back when I was purged. If I had the choice to relive my life and do it all over again, I'd make sure she and I are always together, even if it meant making all of the same choices step by step.

Lumina and I are together, and nothing can ever make me regret that. She is my other half, my soul mate throughout all time; that special one that nobody else can replace. I still acknowledge the many ironies of our situation too. She and I are aliens to our worlds, yet we get along so well; a detail that - while fascinating, is insignificant. Had Lumina been born human just like me, I know I'd still feel the same about her as I do now, all the way, and I know from her assurances that it's the same for her too. We didn't become soul mates because of our origin or our powers; we became soul mates because we fell in love with each other, and love ignores the smaller details every time.

I don't think of us as some kind of fairytale. Ours is more than a love story; our world is part of reality. I think deep down, even though I know there isn't a single person on this planet willing to believe any part of our story, I still wanted someone to know about it. I love this, all of our reality, talking about Lumina, describing her world and everything about her; it's just something that gets me so excited. It's too bad I can't so easily share that sentiment with the rest of the world...

Or can I?

"It's always going to be like this, isn't it?"

Since Lumina was in the same sentimental mood as me, I returned the same energy, expressing where my current montrum was set. "Life is like that Lumina, just one crazy rollercoaster that never keeps the same angle of slope. Nature decides everything with randomness, and we decide what we can through freewill and determination. As long as I'm spending time with you, then I haven't wasted any of it."

My words had many meanings. For one, my anticipated move up north did get delayed by a couple of years, which neither of us were happy about. Lumina and I have been okay though, working together gradually over time. I will move up north someday soon now; only a matter of time. Being trapped down here however made me realize something. The moments I've already spent with Lumina while here in Georgia, or even moments spent at all are never really a waste of time. I cherish every moment we're together, and every moment we're still alive. This is one of many reasons why I know I won't fail.

"I know... As long as you keep spending time with me, then—"

"No worries there. I'll have you here with me, every chance we get. I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Yeah. It's still gets tough sometimes though."

"I know." I've seen Lumina fall into the same kind of despair I have before, all from the threat of the next summer. What's crazy is, whether we handle those days well or not depends on how we imagine each other, how well we are getting along. Sad and lonely as I get, imagining Lumina feeling the same way is somehow ten times as destructive to my state of mind; I care about her that much, and she views me in the same pattern. "It sure would help if I could make real friends though, at least someone I know I could talk to about this, judgment free."

"Maybe. I still think it's possible if you never give up."

"I know. I have to take those chances in segments though. Every time I get the boot from someone, I have to wait nearly a year now just to want to try again, since it just hurts too much getting my hopes up."

"If I could find some way to bring the other purged ones together with you, I would; I promise I would... But I don't really have that opportunity."

"Makes me wonder what they are so afraid of. There will come a day when the human race does become aware of the Altiri race, especially if these purges continue over time; it's inevitable I say."

"I'm sure the queen has her reasons, even if you and I don't agree with them."

"Well, what would happen if much of the whole world suddenly became aware of my situation in particular? Whether it be from a slipup or something I do intentionally, what would happen then?"

"With the Royal Scryers, I don't know. But even if your secret got out to the whole world like that, it wouldn't be easy to predict with certainty how that would play out. There's a number of different reactions you might see."

"Such as?"

"Well, the first and most likely reaction is no reaction at all. Even if it somehow became a big public story around the world, do you really think anyone would just believe you and take your word for it, because you say so, or because you want them to? Of course they wouldn't. I dare think most would make fun of you for it, call you crazy, and then move on."

I knew she was right on the money, and it was one of many reasons why I wanted to get the other purged eleven all together to reveal our secrets to the world. The world might react to me exactly as Lumina just told; but even still without concrete evidence, can they really deny such a story when it comes from 11 different strangers from different parts of the world all at the same time? Guess it does me no good to even ask, since that will never happen anyway. "Wouldn't there at least be a tiny few among them who would react differently, perhaps to try and reach out to me and find out for sure?"

"I don't know. I doubt such people would really come after you with the interest of befriending you in mind. More than likely, you would become a target of something else, maybe even something dangerous."

"I'll admit I have not conquered every single fear in this world, but that possibility doesn't affect me in the slightest. I'm not afraid to die either, not after what I've confirmed about the A5E."

"There's also a chance it would never really get any attention either. Where would you even go to tell the world that?"

Funny she should ask, as a new idea just popped into my mind. "Hm..."

"What? Do you actually have a means of broadcasting that everywhere? I don't really trust media outlets to help you there, plus, I'm not fully sure if the action is a good idea Reed."

"I do have an idea. But before I get into that, I need you and your queen to know something, Lumina. The queen may make her rules up there, but she doesn't have any domain with what we do down here. All of the humans who have ever been purged by the Altiri more or less have their lives twisted around. While this can lead to good or bad outcomes, it doesn't change the fact that a mountain of information about the Altiri is literally beamed into our minds. It's not that it's totally unpleasant, but it is fairly invasive. Good or bad aside, none of us humans ever asked to be purged by anybody, yet the queen authorized aggressor groups to take full part in the process. Therefore, the queen has absolutely no say on the matter for what we humans decide to do with that information. All of us have a right to speak out about this. All of us have a right to live our lives while being truthful."

"What do you mean by truthful?"

"I managed to avoid lying to people as much as possible, but do you think the other purged humans had the same easy time with that? I wonder how many of them had to lie to their friends and family about the existence of their aggressor group nodes and the Altiri at large, all because the situation itself is hard to believe for anybody involved. I'm also certain many of them tried being truthful anyway, only to get some of the same treatment I've faced before... It isn't right you know. We shouldn't be forced to live our lives partly in secret just because it might inconvenience others. And even worse, there's something awful to be felt about keeping this information from those we care about. Even if we technically avoid lying, avoidance to the truth is still nearly as bad; it's awful enough anyway."

"So then, you really do want to tell the world?"

"I don't know whether I want the world to know this about myself or not Lumina... If I look at the reasons why I'd consider it, it all points back to the prospect of me making friends from the situation; nothing more."

"I don't know if that's the best way to go about it."

"I don't know either. What I do know, is that all my life, I've always been the one seeking others, reaching out to people, trying to put myself out there and keep conversations going. You want to know how many people besides yourself who has ever sought me out or gone out of their way to initiate any kind of communication with me? None at all! It isn't right. Why the hell should I be the only person always giving 100% effort to friendship when nobody returns an ounce of effort onto me?"

This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

"Hm. You have a point there at least."

"If the world suddenly knew about me, at least about my situation, yeah, there would be lots of reactions, most of them negative. But it also raises the awareness of the situation too, in manners that would cause quite a scale of curiosity, I think. At the very least, it should get people flocking over to me, people who would be reaching out to me instead of the other way around."

"But, but, if that's the approach pattern, it means they're only interested in your story, and not you."

"I know!" I confirmed as much with my teeth grinding the fact to dust. That's exactly what the hypothetical response would warrant. If somebody did take sudden interest in talking to me, with the reason and motivation being curiosity about my story, rather than a desire to really get to know me better in hopes of making a more emotional connection, then that isn't a pathway of friendship. It's merely a means by which another person uses me for their personal gain, to satisfy a temporary emotion.

"Then you already know it isn't the best plan."

"Still..." Perhaps if I did tell the world, every single one of them would ignore me. Even if nobody paid me any attention at all, I wonder which I would regret even more; keeping it all to myself, or telling as many people as possible that which I keep behind a locked trunk. "There's something to be said for the idea of it, telling people about the two of us. I really do love talking about you with anyone else; it's just what I care about most. I think, curious or not, people don't have to believe in our story as a required rite to friendship. Maybe I'll meet someone out there in the world who will accept us for the way we are, who will hang out with us even if they believe I'm merely a psychopath."

"You're not a psychopath though."

"I know that... Just think about it. What if I at least got to tell hundreds or thousands of people about us? We might not be able to predict what would happen with certainty, but what would it really hurt?"

Lumina remained silent for more than a dozen seconds, really thinking it through as much as I was. "Humans can be cruel. Can you handle the many that would try to attack your very ideals once they do know?"

"How would anybody attack my ideals? You mean us? Lumina, I don't believe that you exist. I know that you exist. There's a difference. So no matter what another man tells me, nothing will ever change that; thus, I cannot be hurt by such words so easily. I'd have to worry more about people pretending to be one person, only to reveal their other face as someone who never gave an ounce of care for me in the first place. Those are who I'd want to avoid the most. Yet, I seem to have a track record of finding people who are just like that."

"It's totally up to you if you want to reveal our secret to everyone. I don't think it's a good or bad idea either way; just so long as you've prepared yourself for all the consequences."

That's the Lumina I know. Supportive, yet brutally honest as always, just like I want her to be. "Yeah. I will."

"But still, how in the world would you go about it?"

"I'm an author after all. I'll just write about it."

"About us? What do you mean?"

"I'm talking about our story, the entirety of our entire lives as we've lived them together so far, and I mean everything. Since it's a lifetime of experiences, there would be a lot to cover, but if I wrote an entire story that is basically a full realistic reflection of everything that we actually went through, it really would be like me telling the truth to the world, in a strange, narrative kind of way."

"Wow...! That might actually do it."

"Yeah, but it's like you said; I need to prepare myself for the consequences first. I'm already certain I will write our story Lumina. I'll have to think a bit longer on whether to reveal to everyone that the story is a non-fiction."

"It's worth giving it a lot of thought. Trust me on this one. Whatever your choice though, I'll be here to back you up on it."

"Thank you."

"So, you plan to put our entire lives into words, for everyone to read, and sell it?"

"Hell no!" Perish the thought Lumina. "I mean, I would never try and monetize such a story. My magic series can stay on the sales and people can support me that way if they want, but I'm not going to put a paywall in front of such an important story such as this one. I'll find sites that allow me to publish it for free, where people can read it for free."

"Got it."

"I guess I feel that way because, this is very personal to me you know. I mean, it's literally all my whole life. Whether people believe it or not, it is a true story as well, so I have to handle it with care."

"That's fine and all, but doesn't that mean you would inevitably cover chapters with people from your actual life? What happens if those people read this and they aren't happy about what you had to say about them?"

"Well, if I tell people the truth about what a specific person did, even in a publication, they have only themselves to blame for what they don't want others to see... But I do see your point. I wouldn't really be on board with igniting a firestorm."

"So what will you do?"

Banging my fist to my other palm, I answered that question just as easily with little thought. "I've got it! In order to avoid such concerns, and in order to protect certain personal information where it should be protected, I'll just change the names, locations, and group names of every entity of the story. All the other events will be as real as possible, but with everyone including us having different names, nobody will know anybody's true identity."

"Yeah, but then your story isn't non-fiction anymore, is it?"

"A variant of it at least. I suppose it would be what you would call a fiction based on true events. I mean, I am going to have to tweak a few details here and there besides just names, and I might even have to dramatize a few events so that the story flows better. I'll do what I can to keep 95% of everything true as it is in real life."

"That's crazy! You're going to write our full story and then tell people it really happened?"

"Again, I'm not fully sure about that last part. I might, and I might not. It's a lot to think about... But making our story serves a purpose."

"You just want something to work on."

"Not that kind of purpose Lumina... You know how often I think back on my memories of you, how much I obsess over them? Well, this is kind of my way of getting word out, talking to people about you, and keeping those memories so fresh all at the same time. Getting to actually talk about you with another person does require the full disclosure, but you get the basic point I think."

"... Yeah. It's not a horrible idea at least. It makes for a beautiful story, the two of us." Lumina is madly in love with me too, yet another motivation to share our story with others. "What would you call it?"

"I don't know. I can figure that out later. Just talking about it has me itching to write up all the chapters right now. I only want to because it's about us, you know?"

"Yeah... Let me read it sometime too, okay?"

"I will, once I have chapters for you to read anyway."

"Still, I hope you realize something else."

"Such as?"

"If you're not too careful, readers might take such admission as a challenge and find out who you really are, if they can put together that you author that other magical series."

I see. She's worried I might doxx myself in the process, especially if I don't use a pen name with no external connections to the other accounts I would have... "I don't think I care."

"Huh?"

"It's a true story Lumina. That very statement will hold zero meaning to anybody if the author cannot ever be identified at least... It is a good point to make though. If I ever do reveal to the readers that our story is a real story and not a total work of fiction, then it also has the likely consequence of inadvertently revealing who I am, at least by name. Still, if I do go through with it, I might not even care, due to my reasons for wanting this to get out in the first place."

"You really want to tell the world about us, about the Altiri, about me?"

"All I want to do is share my life experience with other people. It isn't about convincing anyone whether or not it actually happened. What's most important to me right now is that I'm allowed to tell my truth, even if all my words cascade into the darkness, never to surface in front of anybody."

"That's beautiful... Where would our story end though?"

"It wouldn't. Our lives are our lives. Yeah; one day, I'm gonna die and leave this world, and then there won't be anybody to add new chapters. Maybe I will have to have a point where no new chapters are generated even as I'm alive, but the story of us doesn't really have an ending, you know? We're going to continue to make new moments again, and I can always add and update to the story later to include any new major events if I want to."

"I see. So then our story could go on forever."

"It's a story of our lives Lumina. We certainly had our beginnings, but after what I've seen with the A5E, there isn't really an ending for either of us. That's why, our story would have a beginning without an ending. I think the same could be said for everybody else in the universe. If life is eternal, then there is no such thing as an ending, not to reality anyway."

"Now I have to read this story once it's prepared. Let me know when you decide to launch it, okay?"

"Of course."

"I wish I could also have you publish it in our world, so that other Altiri can read it. Given your unique situation, I think it would gain some popularity here."

"Well what's stopping you?"

"Me?"

"Yes you. You have two arms and two legs, don't you? The story I write will only come from my exact perspective, but since I'm not you, trying to tell it from your perspective would be difficult. So, while I'm down here writing my version of it, you can use that new terminal of yours and create your own text story. Tell everyone about how your life experiences have been. It'd be the same story, but it would express everything in exactly how you've felt about it all, so it would also be different at the same time. I'd want to read your version too, if ever you make one."

"Aaah, you always have ideas."

"It's what I do."

"I like the idea though. Okay, I'll do it then. I'll have my own version to tell, and then I can distribute it to any Altiri willing to read it, to get a full perspective on what it's like to live with you."

"Yeah... Wait, wouldn't the queen stop the delivery though, since it confirms that you are the primary node to me?"

"Almost every Altiri already knows about you and me anyway, since I didn't exactly follow proper protocol when I did purge you."

"Oh, right." Breaking a few international laws over here, adding some cultural shock over there... I'm glad I don't stop to consider how crazy life can be sometimes.

"But, like you, I also will alter the locations, some of the names, and maybe some of the times, to prevent any specific aggressor group from knowing exactly where you live. I think many know already, but it would give the queen a reason not to try and block it."

"Fair game. Alright; it's decided then. Let's get started, after tonight anyway." I'm still on a date with my wife right now, so I won't spoil the night by going back to work something on my own. "It will represent our story, our love, our experiences, and our eternity."