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<10/31/2010 - ??:?? | Unknown Location>

Ever since my last lucid dream, I've felt just a little easier about everything than I used to. It could just be because that Altiri warrior didn't kill me last time, but this could always change. When I went a few days without having any of those dreams again, I starting to think I might finally be in the clear.

But after falling asleep in my cozy bed tonight, I was shown just how wrong I was for believing I had any control over any aspects of my life. Waking up again to return to the same frozen wonderland around me without a tree or space ship in sight, I took my time getting my thoughts together while brushing the snow off of me. I knew already that I was still the one in control. Having one lucid dream by accident was rare enough, but this one is counting six in a row.

Was my subconscious mind really this far out of my control? Or is the cause of this something else? Just being here again reminded me of that girl. She was far stranger when speaking to me directly after she stopped trying to cut her blade into me. She knows that I'm lucid dreaming too, and that can't be a coincidence. But of all things, what I still didn't have was the reason behind it. Why do I keep having these dreams in the first place? What purpose can they possibly serve?

Before I could think on it much longer, I turned around after hearing some nearby footsteps, immediately spotting and recognizing the Altiri woman from before. She wasn't carrying her sword this time, and she approached me calmly with a bright smile on her face as if something wonderful just happened in her life. Her mere presence towards me felt far different now than it did before, but I still felt on edge despite her behavior. "You!" I hollered over the mild arctic wind, pointing directly to her.

She then stopped walking and pointed to herself. "Me." Her response was a greeting in itself, though she let the excitement and happiness flow through her voice as it projected several meters over to myself. She began walking again to get closer, thereby speaking without having to yell.

I didn't want to bring it up or to sound rude, but it was pretty surreal to see her like this. Not long ago, she seemed so aggressive and violent, but was now so happy and cheery. I can't help but wonder if I did something to cause her total behavior to change. I doubt that I would get a straight answer from her either way, so I chose to ignore that aspect for now and try a different approach with her. "I guess if you are here, so are your sisters, correct?" Can she really remember every chain of these dreams like I can? If so, what is she really?

"Of course." Letting her voice pitch up higher, she ensured her delight in meeting me again was as obvious as it could be. "Want to meet them again back on my ship?"

Meet them again? So she does remember. That settles it then. Whoever she is, this person or product of my mind is far more than some interactive simulation of a person made for a simple dream. She must be some kind of node for all of this, which means she has all the answers. Even though I learned my lesson from before, I had no choice but to try this again, being as direct as I could be. "Not just yet. Tell me something first. Why am I having these dreams in the first place? There must be some point to all of them. None of this is random enough to mean anything insignificant."

"I mentioned it before—"

"You gave me a nonsense answer," I corrected.

"Our signal is currently part of you. Ask yourself Reed. Why do you keep dreaming of hanging out with our group? Why do you keep dreaming of the Altiri?"

Answering a question with a question huh? I've been asking myself the same thing though. Why is my mind so hung up on the details of the Altiri? Where did it come from? Why am I so obsessed about it? And why do I keep finding myself here lately? You see stranger, this doesn't help me at all. It only creates more questions that I have no answers to. I may be in control of myself and my own thoughts here, but my subconscious is obviously still pulling the strings right now. I have no control over these dreams, so I really don't know why. "I already told you, I don't know why."

"Try thinking about it more specifically," she encouraged. "Why this place? Why us?"

Is this place real? Are these people part of the real world and I just don't realize it? No, they are Altiri, those who are not human, so they can't be real. Still, her questions aren't making this any easier. "This is getting too weird." Even I have to admit defeat this time. I can't follow with the way things are. "Guess I should just wake myself up then." There must be some way I can force myself out of this dream without dying...

While her face turned from playful expression to a sinking show of sadness, she protested my plan of action. "But I thought you were going to hang out with us today!"

Surprised that she sounded so sad and disappointed from hearing my last answer, I thought about this once more, confused by how different she was acting right now. Talk about a personality flip... Does she actually want me to hang out with her right now? Or is this my dream tampering with my own hidden desires? Then again, what are my own desires?

I didn't answer her disappointment, not right away, but it opened my eyes to something else. Despite what I just said earlier, I didn't actually want to leave this place. To some degree, I think I remember feeling that way last time too. It's as if I have some attachment to this place, like I belong here somehow.

"If that's how you feel, then why not stay?"

I didn't say that out loud, did I? No wait! "What did I tell you earlier about getting inside of my head like that? Knock it off!" I didn't want to upset her anymore, but knowing that she could hear what I was thinking distracted all of my efforts to realize something else.

Holding her right arm apologetically, she slanted her head down looking at the ground with some shame. "I'm sorry Reed. I just wanted to hang out with you before your three hours is up."

That's right, I remembered. She also seems to know how long I have inside of here before waking up naturally. I normally would not believe her, nor do I understand how she can possibly know that, but her previous prediction was so accurate that it was downright scary. So I had no reason to doubt my time limit this time.

Still, why does she want this? Why does she want to hang out with me as the sole purpose of this dream? Or do I have it the other way around? I didn't have to think very long about one principle of this moment. It wasn't just her desire. I didn't want to leave either, not after realizing it by now. I want to hang out with this mysterious stranger and her sisters too. I want to spend all of my time here. But why? "Why does my dream want this? Why do I want this?"

In her apologetic gesture, she returned an uncertain guess, since she refrained from reading my mind without my permission. "I guess it wouldn't matter to you. If you have friends in the real world, who am I to stand between them?"

Friends of the real world? That's it! Finally, I get it now. The reason I'm having these dreams, or rather the reason I want to stay here rather than return to that desolate life of mine... This person doesn't seem to know everything about me. If I have to rely on current friends from the real world, then the both of us would be totally screwed. No matter what, I don't really have anyone to talk to about anything. But even though this person before me is a product of this vivid dream, she acts and talks just like a real person. More than that, she wants to hang out with me. It's no wonder I want to stay all the sudden, the truth is so obvious!

All I want in life is friendship. Somebody to talk to, somebody to laugh with. In here, I have that chance right in front of me - right at this moment. This crazy and insane woman who wanted to slash me now wants to be friends. Despite how unforgivable that should be, I can't say no to her anymore... My real world, that horrible mundane experience I'm forced into every day is lonelier than I ever could have imagined. Despite what I've been telling myself, I've never really had friends there in the first place. All of them, every last one of them were no more than acquaintances who stopped talking with me because they were bored, or because I pushed some of them away for good reason. But now that I think about it, I have zero friends out there, not a single one I could talk to about anything. But in here, in this frozen ark, there are people who aren't even human willing to try taking some interest in me. What kind of person would I be to blow them off, even if I know they aren't real?

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Unable to hold back a gasp, the woman covered her mouth, now more shameful than ever that she ended up invading my privacy yet again. But after everything she just heard from me, my motivations should make so much more sense to her. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to."

So she did it again huh? I guess I can learn to live with it for three more hours. "I'll let it slide just this once." I studied her face, annoyed that she pitied me so openly, but calm, realizing I could no longer take it back. She is right to be sorry for me. All of those people in the real world, they don't care about me at all. They know not of my sadness, of my fear, of my loneliness, or of my efforts to mingle with them. I don't even know this woman's name in front of me. Even so, she is friendlier with me than any person from the real world that I've ever known! Even though all of this is just a dream, that has to count for something. It's why I feel better in here than anywhere else, why I feel so comfortable in the arctic cold.

I folded my arms, letting the silence build between us as I continued my chain of thought. I didn't care anymore that this person could read my mind, because as scary as that might be, the real world was far worse. Even my own subconscious mind which generated this girl understands how a true friend should act to another. It proves I'm not the cause of my own suffering. These feelings that I have for her and this place, even though I know all of this is just fantasy, these feelings are far more real than anyone in the world could ever realize. And I'm willing to bet her feelings towards my company are just as real too.

"That's so nice of you – to feel that way about us."

I saw her blush ever so slightly, coloring that pale white face of hers. I had a feeling she was still reading my thoughts despite telling her not to, but this actually made it easier for my intentions to reflect back onto me. That's something a real friend would feel for another, right? I know nobody here is real, but now more than ever, I want them to be real. I want everything in this dream to be my new reality. So that's why... "I've changed my mind. If three hours is all I have in here today, I'll spend them with you."

"Yay!" With screams of joy throughout the valley, she swiftly rushed over to embrace me in an unexpected hug, lifting me off the ground with her tight squeeze while spinning the both of us around in circles. "We get to hang out together!"

Weird as I thought it was for her excitement to be so high from something so simple, I didn't fault her for feeling that way. I've felt this way towards people too, but never dared to express it like she was now. The way she held me so tightly while spinning me around with her joy filled my heart with experiences I've never felt before. Her skin was ice cold to the touch compared to mine, but I didn't resist her pure embrace of happiness. Some of her emotion spilled onto me in the process, putting an unexpected smile on my face. I don't know why, but seeing her this excited to hang out with me felt special in its own right, intensifying all that I was feeling a second ago.

"You are a weird one," I added after being let go, "but I was still wrong about you in the beginning. So, do you mind getting around to the part where you tell me your name?"

Standing face to face with each other, she nodded with cheer and sparkling eyes. "My name is Lumina. I've come from a faraway place, but I'm here now to stay by your side." Holding out her hand for a shake, she expected me to accept her introduction.

Lumina? What an interesting name... "Okay then." I shook her hand while warming myself up to the idea of a new adventure, one I wanted to start of my own volition. "How about you show me around again, Lumina?"

"Let's get to it then!" Dragging me by the grip of my hand to speed off into an anxious sprint, she led her and me around the snowy valley for the longest time.

I protested running too much through wherever she was leading me to, but after agreeing to this, Lumina and I wandered around a little in the open wasteland of the snow for what felt like a full hour. She then directed me back to the spot her space ship was again, letting me inside so that I might talk to her sisters more directly.

With the remaining two hours of the dream left, I got to talk to all of them one on one, while Lumina and I hung out together like best friends despite having only met each other. I tried to present the idea of card games to her, while she chose more athletic challenges for the two of us to compete in, which I pointed out wasn't fair given her natural abilities far exceeding my own. But for some reason, right as I knew my dream was about to come to an end, my own memory of the past two hours became fuzzy and vague. I didn't mind at first because of how happy it made me to have fun with real people. But before long, I returned from the place I came from, waking up again in a world so silent and void of those emotions.

Pulling the covers off of me, I tried to power through my morning grogginess, while my memories from the dream world updated back to myself. I only remembered the first hour of it more clearly than the last two, but I still understood everything that happened moments ago... Staring down at my hands in horror, my heart sank with the emotions flooding in all at once.

"That dream..." I'm here again, back in a world where nothing is wonderful and my life isn't worth anything anymore. "I didn't want to leave." Fighting the tears teasing my eyes, I exhaled with a sharp breath of the cold morning air, sitting up properly with my hands holding my balance behind me. I couldn't get up to move. I was too stunned by everything I just went through. "More time... Why couldn't I have more time with them?" Even though Lumina and her sisters weren't real, they felt realer to me than other people in this world did. Even if it is just a projection of how I want to feel, I want to see them again. I want to spend more time with them again."

No matter how sad I was, I forced myself to reawaken and return to objective reality. No matter what I might want, it's all just dream, fantasy, fiction, a scenario that cannot be real. It's best if I just stop thinking about it...

Not that it was easy, but making that choice allowed me to move again. I got out of my bed, getting dressed while telling myself that I must stop thinking of that place or those people as anything important. No wish I ever make will come true anyway, so there is no point in getting upset about it. Sighing heavily, I still found an unsatisfying moment all around me. It wasn't just the morning, but a school day of all days. "Another school day, another headache fest. Why must I take part in that waste of time?"

"—level two testing. I'll try this again. Can you hear me at all?"

"What the—" I dropped my flip phone from my hand, startled by whatever I just heard. I didn't notice anyone in my room, and I could tell that voice wasn't coming from my phone either. It kind of sounded like her voice echoed slightly throughout my own mind, following this new mild buzzing sensation around my entire brain. "What was that? Who said that?"

Now totally awake and alert to my surroundings, I turned around expecting to find someone, but there was nobody around me. My alarm clock wasn't going off. My TV wasn't turned on, and after asking what I just heard, I didn't hear anything else for a good few seconds. Still, I nervously panned both eyes around my room, wondering what source that echoed voice came from.

"Phase seven – level three testing. Is this working? Yes you. Can you hear me?"

My pulse jumped so high I could barely keep my breathing level anymore. I heard her entire voice again, echoing through my mind a little louder than someone speaking normally, but I didn't understand what was going on. Who am I hearing exactly? Where is her voice coming from? Panning around some more thinking I missed something, I tried to see if this voice was for real. "I can hear you, but I have no idea where you are." Is she behind a wall or something?

"Yes!" the voice cried out in excitement. "It worked!"

That time, I could hear the sheer volume of her victory chant. It didn't echo through the same way it did before, but the source of the noise didn't make any sense. I couldn't determine which direction it was coming from, yet her voice sounded like it was right on top of me! Is she invisible? Is she a ghost?! "What worked? Why can't I see you?"

"Don't bother looking around. I'm not where you think I am."

"What is this?" Am I still dreaming? No, I was dreaming some time ago, and I knew the difference. I'm as awake as I could be, so where on earth is her voice coming from? "What do you mean?"

"Don't worry Reed. I'll explain everything."

"How do you know my name?" She must be invisible, but that shouldn't be possible! How can I hear her voice so clearly when no one else is around? "What is going on?" My next question was a demand, this current mystery freaking me out right in the moment.

"I'm not invisible Reed. Right now, we're using telepathy to speak to each other."

"Telepathy?" I exclaimed as my voice cracked. Such a thing isn't real, is it? No, why now? I must still be asleep. But at the very thought of that, I gasped remembering a critical detail that I let go of earlier, one that immediately haunted my every thought while my body began to tremble with the fear of something I didn't want to suspect. "Tell me your name. What is your name?"

"I don't know what you will remember, but my name is Lumina. Right now, we are telepathically linked together just to communicate like this."

"Lu-mina?" Right on the edge of tachycardia, all that I knew around me shattered, caving to the impossible scenario playing out before me. It can't be! She can't be real! But all of my memories from those dreams and about the Altiri were flooding back in a moment of refresh the second I heard her speak her own name. The way her voice echoed inside my mind, the tone and pitch of her words, and that initial excitement I heard in her could be mixed up with no other person. The woman I met in that dream and the one speaking into my mind right now are both one and the same!

"No!" I jerked back, denying whatever this was. Never have I been more scared in my life than this. I covered my head, trying with sheer willpower to reject this reality. It doesn't matter how much I wanted that dream to be real, wishing would not make it so! This isn't real! Lumina isn't a real person! Everything I'm hearing in my head right now is nothing more than my imagination! I'm just imagining it all!

"What's wrong?"

But her voice is still there, clear as ever. I'm wide awake and yet I still can't shut it off! Then that must mean... "Nooooooo!" Unable to keep balance with my entire body shaking, I sank to the floor, my eyes trembling while my mind failed to keep up with me anymore. My breath accelerated so quickly while my body began to sweat in absolute panic. I cared not if I woke my family just now. What would it matter with what's happening now? If this voice I'm hearing is real, then...