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<11/15/2010 - 09:13 | Saffrin Middle School (Math), Austell, GA, USA>

With a twirl of my heels and the spinning arm thrusting pose used by ballerinas, I initiated a new greeting full of glee and wonder. "Good morning, ladies and gentlemen of the world!" And with powerful strut, I shook my way to the usual group of desks. Since my valiant display bedazzled the forward area around me, I bought the attention of all three of them, nearly in laughter.

Banarus looked more concerned than happy for my mood, but Maddison was curious enough to ask. "What is with you today?"

With a proud smile plastered in my lips, I swayed my hips slightly, dancing my way down into my usual seat, my mood becoming slightly contagious to the others. Since class had yet to start, I knew I would have time to goof around a little. "I will sit, think, and live right in this seat." I even struck a gleeful pose to finish my miniature performance, impressing myself with how awesome this moment felt.

"Seriously though. You are okay, right?" I even warranted concerning attention from Lumina, who never saw me act like this before.

"Tisk! Tisk, Lumina! Accept that I must be in a good mood today." Even my thoughts were happier, and all the joy I've been keeping inside is finally letting out today.

"You're right, you're right. Just had to be sure..."

Nobody can seem to believe it. I even have Lumina mesmerized by my brilliance! But why wouldn't I be in a good mood? I had a nice relaxing weekend, I've gotten used to Lumina being here as a new friend, and I have not had a single UAD attack since last Friday, a few days ago. I have all rights to celebrate just for the sake of it.

"So does that mean you're finally sitting here with us from now on?" Malica was the one asking, and I started to laugh a little when Maddison reacted to the way she emphasized 'us' in her sentence.

"Hey! You make it sound like we're horrible people or something!"

Banarus folded her arms gently, reviewing the situation. "Well, things did happen..."

Chiming into a terrible cue Banarus laid out for her, Malica tried defending herself again without my own input. "I can't make it any more clear that it was a mistake."

Of course, she was referring to the mistake she made many months ago, when she decided to cheat on me and mess everything up for a while. I knew just as well what she was referring to. But since the topic was so dark, I decided to just chuck it overboard and yeet it into the sun. "Eh, water under a bridge. So, what's new in the world?"

"Wow!" Lumina commented talking over them some. "I think this is the fastest I've ever seen someone get over a girl, one who actually had an effect."

I've been over Malica for some time now. With everything I've learned in the past two weeks, it was easier done than said. "I really don't care anymore. Malica is so small in the grand scheme of things... For instance, just look at me and my new life."

"You sure?" Malica took a long time to just ask me that, but her face turned a little serious, demanding I answer her the same way.

But Banarus added on before I could keep things simple, pointing out the reason she and the others were not as quick to warm up to my great mood. "You seem so happier all the sudden. Two weeks ago, you couldn't even look at me or Malica in the face. I mean, what are you thinking about that's so great?" At last, Banarus's own words worked against her, as she attracted some stares from the others making ugly faces on purpose to reveal their minor spite.

Sorry Banarus, but the only one to know what I'm thinking is myself and Lumina. Telepathy just isn't your thing. I wanted to say something to her, but I took too long in my own thoughts and allowed for Maddison's hyperactive mood to begin taking this over.

"You want to know what I'm thinking?" With a smile, Maddison looked right at me and bounced her eyebrows a little.

That's my cue! "I'm thinking Arby's!" She and I said it at the exact same time, after which, we both started bobbing our heads and swaying left and right, humming the famous Arby's commercial theme song, snapping both our fingers to the beat. I taught her how to do that after learning it together with another acquaintance I know, but that moment is priceless! The commercials in 2010 still aren't too bad.

Of course, as I and Maddison started laughing at what should not even be a meme, Banarus was making this horrified look, trying to pretend like this didn't take her by surprise. From what I could feel through telepathy, I think even Lumina was having the same mild shock. I on the other hand could care less how cringy it was. Let me have my Arby's theme music, darn it!

"Well, it's happened. I'm at a total loss for words today."

Come on Lumina! Live a little! "Well then, I guess I'm going to force you to watch that Arby's commercial. In fact, while I'm at it, let's add the McDonalds commercial on there too, and Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and the all-powerful Socker Boppers!" Using both my voices nearly at the same time, I tried keeping pace with everyone. "Seriously though. Why is it such a big deal that I'm happier today?"

Lumina actually answered for everyone first, even though I was the only one to hear her. "Because to them, this change is a bit fast. They think something happened, and you obviously can't tell them that."

I see. So that's why they're suspicious of my good nature. Time to erase all wrong think! "I promise! Nothing strange or weird has happened to me over the past few weeks."

"Bit of a stretch to the truth there..."

"A stretch? We're involved in a lie the length from here to the fucking moon! These are supposed to be what friends I have, and I can't even tell them a thing about you!" I finally let my frustrated side show to her, but only because Lumina couldn't make up her mind on whether I should really lie about her or not. "But honestly, would they ever believe me if I did tell them?"

"But that's not what I heard." Banarus was trying to change the subject slightly, revealing the true reason why she was so confused by this. "Just a few days ago, something happened to you in gym. Was it just dehydration?"

Cursed middle school rumors! Of course I still came into school expecting this kind of treatment. I was actually lucky that Banarus was asking as politely as she was, compared to some others I heard this morning. Part of the reason I was in a good mood was because despite all of that, people like Maddison and Banarus never faulted or judged me for it, at least until now I suppose. Still, I was thankful that Maddison's ADHD with partial motor mouth gave herself a tiny exposition on the matter, which gave me more time to think

"Oooh! I want to go crazy every time I get thirsty. That sounds like fun!" To which, nobody was laughing. None of us believed she was actually joking about that mentality, and I certainly didn't want to see others lose their minds over stress. I was glad to see that Banarus and Malica were giving Maddison the same looks of concern.

"I'm still working out what was causing that, but there's no need to worry about it." I still wasn't sure if they were convinced, so I put an arm behind my head and added some more energy to my bliss. "Everything's fine now!" I slipped up ever so slightly, overselling my reaction a little, but I was certain nobody would pick up on it like I would.

"Oh..." It wasn't just Banarus, but all three who fell into this strange silence while staring at me for a few long agonizing seconds.

"Aaaand, now she's onto you. Good job Reed."

"What? No, no way! I didn't oversell it that much. This is Banarus we're talking about. There's zero chance she suspects a thing." It was a certainty I was willing to die on.

Now returning a playful glare to me, Banarus lifted her own mood and asked, "So, who's Malica's replacement?"

"Ayeie!" Lumina accidentally let out a strange yelp from her telepathic tongue, and sure enough, if I had actually made that bet with the devil, I would have lost my soul.

But never mind that! I was too surprised by Banarus's bold call, not simply because she was able to tell something was going on in the first place, but for jumping to the conclusion that Lumina and I were an item. I mean, get real! "Uhg, that's not even close to the right idea."

Naturally, Malica was slightly offended at the thought before I could speak up again. "Hey! I'm sitting right here!"

"Oh sure! This is Banarus were talking about. She doesn't know a thing!"

"Stop mocking me already!" Talking to Lumina in the background is going to have to wait now. I have to nip this in the bud before people start looking at me like I'm harboring a secret, and by speaking to Lumina, I'm losing some of my normal reaction time to the situation. "That's naive of you to think. I don't go around replacing old problems with new problems."

"Well, at least I'm glad to hear I'm not a problem."

"Shut it... And think more highly of yourself for god's sake! You and I are friends now, so you deserve at least that."

Unfortunately, it looks like I didn't undo the damage in time. Maddison and even Malica were in deep thought, imagining whatever wild things go through their minds. "Now that it's said though, I kind of feel like it's true."

With a sigh of mild defeat, I tried once more to refresh a true statement without averting to any potential secrets, in a way that would sound more believable. "Look. I've made a few new friends, and I'm in a good mood because of it. That's all."

"Oh..." Banarus and Malica both let out their shameful responses at once, forcing me to wonder what they were expecting in the first place.

"Huh. Now they're all guilty for bringing it up, except for Maddison."

Lumina was correct about Maddison's neutral behavior. She really doesn't seem to care about anybody these days. She's good for a laugh, but that's about it. "I need a new chain of friends, or at least more on the side. I know what I just said, but it was a stretch to label these three as people I can fully trust."

"You were the one who said, 'the more the merrier'. But in this case..."

"I try not to think like that. Not everybody is a bad person Lumina." Before I allowed her to say anymore, I shifted back to my physical conversation with the others, allowing them to realize where I was coming from. "I had some rough things happening in my life lately, but I've been working them out as best as I can. I can't get into those details. But ever since I've gotten a better handle on some things, I'm just a little happier in my own slice of life."

"Smart... Shifting one area of a subject to another without adding any detail. Now they won't think you are a complete loner."

Somehow, Banarus and Malica both appeared to be cured of their mild guilt from what I said, even happier than before I walked into the room. "Well, we're here for you."

"But only if you wear more hair braids!" Maddison just had to slip that in, didn't she? And since the three of them are usually on the same page, Banarus and Malica will soon be in on that action.

A sinister smile already crooked its way into Banarus's face, sending chills down my spine before she could announce why. "Yeah. Better yet, why don't we just give him a full makeover? You don't mind pretending to be a girl, right?"

It was the one thing I had to put up with. Since last year, thanks to my personality change, Banarus would only accept the idea of me hanging out with girls only if she could take part in giving me small or big makeovers, the reason for which was to fit in her own comedy of life. "Ehr..."

"Are you really going to let them apply makeup?! Reed? What have I gotten you into?"

"Well..." Before I could protest any further, it was already too late to stop them. I managed to avoid most of the cosmetics, but my long hair couldn't escape the onslaught of beautification through hair clips and a few braiding techniques... More than that, I wasn't really going out of my way to stop them either. I still felt weird about all of this, but ever since I learned what I did about heathens from Lumina, I really was acting a little more girly without realizing it. I blamed it on my powerful newfound hatred for all heathens, which I now happily harbored alongside Lumina. Now, two traits that were originally part of the purge were becoming part of me by pure choice alone.

"So you actually want to look like a girl?" Lumina sounded slightly vexed, but I knew she couldn't complain, since this is similar enough to how she wanted me to behave anyway. There really is no way I'll turn myself into a heathen. But in order to minimize the risk and temptations of my own teenage hormones, I'll try and be as girly as possible, crushing any hint of masculinity inside me.

Besides, there is even more to it than that. My new behavior has also given birth to newfound powerful respect to all women, one that anyone near me would find illogical without the context. This time, there was genuine curiosity mixed in as well. "It's not really about that. I want to know what it's like; the female perspective of things." Sure I can't accomplish this by pretending to fluff hair like a girl, but there are other ways I can learn things.

"All done!" Banarus, Malica, Maddison, and more than half the entire class began laughing at the new look. Banarus managed to add a few small buns on the sides, while the clips were used to generate a few pigtails too.

"Well, the difference isn't too far between two genders you know... But it's still your call... Are you sure the purge isn't still affecting you in some way?" Based on how long it took her to ask these questions, I could tell that my current behavior was not 100% approved and encored by Lumina. But, that's just what she gets for pushing me in this direction to begin with.

"No, I don't think so." I'm coming to these conclusions, thoughts, and feelings all on my own this time. I know Lumina isn't passively projecting anything like this at the moment at least, because she's not exactly a princess puff herself. This is more of a misappropriation of respect than anything else. My respect to all men and especially heathens is now so low, that it's knocked me onto the other side, making me want to root for the female team and add support. But in order to do that, I have to cast aside all that makes me manly too. "You know how bad they are Lumina, the heathens of this world. It really isn't fun to growl and snarl at them every moment I'm near one, even if they deserve it. I'd rather spend my time on the other side. Besides, I have a whole lot of respect for women who have faith in themselves."

"Is that why you were staring at that logo earlier? The Girls Rule Foundation?"

"Yeah..." I couldn't see it for myself, but just thinking back on that logo put me in a dreamy state, glossing my eyes over with a shine in aspiration to it. It's one thing to switch sides of support especially in a school that often makes a big deal about boys versus girls competitive assignments. But seeing a logo with those two worlds really sung it all to me nicely. Girls Rule. "Obviously, girls are better than boys, given that boys are going to be evil. But maybe girls are smarter too..." It felt strange examining myself as I was saying these things to Lumina. Because my own thoughts runs checks on myself, I'm occasionally aware of how or why I feel a certain way about a situation like this one. The more I thought about it, the more it felt like an association developed simply by revulsion of the male gender. And at the same time I was sinking into this mentality, I cared even less how others would make fun of me for it. Truth is, I can't be ashamed to display something like a girly hairdo when I'm already proud of it.

"Maybe the sudden distance from men is what's making you so girly."

Huh. So she sees that too? "I know it's weird for you Lumina. It's a little strange for me too. But I have to look at it like this. I'm falling as far away from heathenism as possible. All things considered, that's a good thing! So I shouldn't feel ashamed to be this way."

"I've got it!" Brooke jumped with her hands to the desk. "If we dress you like a girl in a few days, you have to play and act the role for the whole school day! And that's a dare!"

"It's a dare Reed. What will you do?" Lumina knew just well that she wasn't about to help me out of this situation unless I asked for help directly, preferably in a manner that humiliated myself for her sake. She doesn't seem to get off on my embarrassment if it's caused by anybody other than herself.

"Sure! Where's the harm in that?" I knew just as well how socially unacceptable it would normally be for a dude to dress like a girl, let alone showing up to school that way. The anxiety of such actually made me more excited just thinking about it. The thing is, my hatred for heathens is also unacceptable to certain individuals of the school, which is what I'm trying to spite in the first place. Banarus, Maddison, and Malica are only having their fun at my expense because I'm allowing them to expend this manly pride. It's the reason why the three of them are so overjoyed and excited to dress me up as a chick. They know that no other guy in the entire school, probably in the entire state of Georgia would be willing to do something so bold. The thing is, it's hard to turn this down when I'm not embarrassed enough about it to affect me like it would affect anyone else. For them, my compliance with this is an opportunity of a life time, as well as a good laugh for them, which also somehow felt good back onto me.

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

"Okay... This is okay... This is good... You're totally cool with that, right?" Lumina is obviously not taking this very well.

For somebody who hates heathens with a burning passion, I'm a little surprised to see her this freaked out by my own girlish behavior and desires. At the same time, I found her state of mind to be quite amusing in itself, laughing a little out loud, which thanks to the hair, made me appear cuter by comparison. So, it's time to kick this into overdrive. I'm down for this kind of dare. "Maybe you can make the dress say something like, 'Girls Rule,' and throw in a few blue flowers or something."

"Of course, you do realize some people will think you're gay, right?"

"The hell do I care for that? Most of those opinions are going to be coming from heathens anyway."

"Yeah, that's a fair point."

"So screw it! I might as well be more like a girl. I might even learn something from it."

"Just don't get too carried away, okay?"

"Awh, where's the fun in that?" "Who-hoo! I get to be a princess this week!"

All three of their faces were stunned for a moment, but it soon warped into back breaking laughter, my motivation driving theirs. The only one I knew wasn't laughing was Lumina, who still found the situation too bizarre for her personal tastes. I figured it might be possible that Lumina doesn't want me to act too girly at the same time, but I can say and do whatever I want. I'm free from that purge, and these feelings belong to me now!

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<11/15/2010 - 14:22 | Saffrin Middle School (Homech), Austell, GA, USA>

The day dragged on long, though I managed to keep my good mood fully intact. Before I knew it, I was already in Homech again, free to talk among the smaller cluster of friends I made in here. I didn't mention it before, but the first time I entered this class, when Kaitlyn was absent, Laura was also absent that day, so I never knew she would be in this class as well. Luckily, she is on good terms with Zero, and Zero is on good terms with Jaiden, who is on good terms with Kaitlyn. However, I only really spoke to Laura and Zero more often than the other two.

"Yeah, he just likes to sit with us." Zero tried explaining the reason I was at their table again to Laura, who was more curious than concerned by it.

"No," Laura rephrased so that Zero could understand. "He's always sitting with the girls, even the ones he doesn't know, in every single class." Laura isn't the first person to notice this behavior of mine, but there were others more put off by it than her.

Does she not realize that in this class at least, I'm the only male student here? It's redundant to draw that conclusion about me now, but she must want to fill Zero in about this aspect to me. Before I could even address that, I had to ask Laura about something else first. "I'm inclined to ask how you even know that. You only have two or three classes the same as mine." She must have some friends in high places or something.

However, Laura ignored my comment, allowing Zero to confirm this truth. "Really? Is this true Reed? Do you only hang out with girls?" She seemed slightly put off by this too. Until now, Zero had no idea that I was this way. She couldn't assume as much in this class because of the demographics.

I already began to dread talking about this, mainly because I didn't want Zero to look at me like I'm some kind of creep or something. To the perspective of middle school girls, it's unusual for a guy like me to adamantly hang around with only girls all day long, each and every day. People may start to think I'm just trying to be a player.

"Maybe he's trying to acquire eight girlfriends." Laura went straight for the assumption I didn't want anyone to make.

"How little do they think of you?" As usual, Lumina was listening on everything I was involved with. As intrusive as it was, I've gotten so used to her presence that I don't mind anymore. She wasn't set to help me with things to say, because with these two, I didn't need too much help anymore.

Still, I'd rather nobody conclude something creepy about my character. I'm not looking for love right now, so flirting with those I hang out with is the furthest thing from my mind. "Well, a little bit of the truth wouldn't hurt in this case." "I promise, it's not like that at all."

"Then what's the reason exactly? I'm confused."

Jeeze! Zero can be intimidating when she gets serious or suspicious like this. I have to explain myself and set the record straight. "But, it's really not. Look, I don't like being alone or sitting alone in a classroom. I'd rather sit with someone than no one. However, before you say anything else, I have to point out the fact that I am completely sexist against men." There, I said it. With zero men in this classroom, there's much less pressure for me to speak my mind even should somebody overhear.

Kaitlyn and Jaiden seemed to be sucked into their own conversation, ignoring ours for now. But Zero and Laura's simultaneous reaction got everyone's attention, both of them bouncing their palms on the table to stand up. "What?!" Laura and Zero said the same thing at once, and Laura took the initiative to point out the obvious weirdness to it all. "But, you're a man!"

It's strange hearing her say that when I'm the first person to point this out to myself, as well as Lumina. Last week, she and I really got into it about her hatred towards heathens. I'm not sure how I let her talk me into hating heathens, but I've seen enough to believe Lumina is telling the truth about them now. How can I explain that I'm not the same? "I know. But I'm trying to be..." My voice trailed off, uncertain how I could describe this in a short sentence.

"A girl?"

Before I knew it, Zero started laughing at Laura's quick guess, embarrassing me a little since I thought it sounded absurd too. "No," I corrected desperately.

"Could have fooled me earlier."

I restrained myself from laughing in sympathy, since Lumina simply wanted to mess with me a little. "I just want a healthier friendship with people. I'm only hanging out with girls because the alternative would totally suck. There would be no contribution to conservation, especially when I can't stand men." I wanted to use our favorite buzz word, heathens, but I knew they would not understand its meaning. "So, it feels like I don't have much of a choice here." My mind started to speed up further, my nervousness giving me goose bumps since this was too enticing for them to hear.

With all things, Zero tried to break down what this meant to understand me better. "So, you would rather be completely alone than to sit down with a bunch of guys your own age? I mean, if you couldn't hang out with girls, you would still sit alone, right?" It was an interesting question for her to ask, and I had to answer honestly.

"More like any age. And yes. I would still rather be alone than to sit with those evil morons. Of course, between the choice of being alone and sitting with the girls, I choose the latter."

Stoked, Laura's eyes lit up some more, and she started raising her voice from the excitement. "That's so interesting! I didn't know you were sex-grhmhuhm—" Laura's words were suddenly muffled by a pair of hands covering her mouth.

It was Zero, putting a lid on Laura's volume despite having already attracted the passive attention of Kaitlyn and Jaiden. "Don't announce it Laura!"

I sat here mildly surprised by a number of things. I thought they would hate me for admitting to my own feelings, since it's such an unusual thing to go through. But strangely, Laura and Zero were both totally okay with this. What surprised me even more was how willing Zero was to keep that part of me secret without me even asking. They really are not the same as Banarus's group.

Breaking free from the hands clutching her lips, Laura retorted Zero's logic right back onto her. "You're the only one announcing anything with those big boobs of yours. Seriously. Those have to be double-Ds!" With the topic turning wild, Kaitlyn and Jaiden glanced at each other, letting this new show entertain them. Laura wasn't lying about her observations either; there really was a difference between the two of them, one fully loaded and one flat-chested.

"What did you just say?" Zero's face blushed a little as she held up a threatening fist to Laura's face. Both of us knew she wouldn't actually hit her, but her display of embarrassment really was more amusing than most would have expected.

"Why get so bent out of shape? I just gave you a compliment!"

"It sure didn't sound like a compliment."

"You could have any guy in the school you want with those knockers!"

To our amazement, Laura and Zero just kept going at it, arguing back and forth why big boobs were better boobs. I was only a little fazed from their bickering. In all the time I have been sitting by other girls, I do sometimes hear topics like this come up. I don't normally contribute to the conversation, but the point is, I'm a little numb to moments like this, the kind that girls normally have only when there are no other guys near them. So, some small part of me began to tune them out, right as Lumina made her observations.

"Well, I think they're far from perfect. But they're all the friends you have in this school."

I was a little glad to hear that. Realizing that I could really make no other friends is usually something that would make me sad. However, Lumina is finally accepting that I've really tried my best in all other areas. It's not like any of them are any weirder than I am. At this point, nobody can top me there. But somehow, I feel like I fit in better with these two. "It's true. I really can't find anyone better than this. I've already scanned most of the whole school..." I don't mind this either. I want to be closer with everyone now, since I'm more certain where I should put my focus on. I cleared my throat, interrupting their cute moment of rivalry. "As I was saying..."

I struggled to remember what the topic was supposed to be about, and then Laura jumped in with her own questions. "So do you really not care whether or not these new friends of yours is hot or not?" I could tell she was asking for Zero's sake more than anyone else.

It's true that a majority of those I associate with are cute, pretty, or hot, but this is only a coincidence, since I still talk to a few who don't appear to me as charming as others. My motivation for talking to girls these days is only for platonic reasons, and physical appearance doesn't motivate me on that front, mostly. Of course, since I've found almost nobody in this school to be ugly, Laura's question isn't even a fair one. "That's a horrible assumption to make about me. And also, I couldn't care less about the size of somebody's breasts. In fact, I don't care about them in any regard." I realized only then that I probably shouldn't have said that. While it is true that I don't find any redeeming features of the top half attractive, it's still a personal preference that's only my own business.

Laura then jumped right on the subject I wanted to avoid. "Oh, so you're a butt-man?"

I saw Zero just face palm in her own seat, embarrassed that her only closest friend would talk to me about something so scandalous. I didn't really want to answer that myself, even though it was the truth. Some guys favor the lower half of a beautiful female more than the upper half. That's where the strange language comes from, asking if somebody is either a boob-man or a butt-man. In my case, the preference level is zero percent to the top and one hundred percent to the bottom, something I found out after enough online research. "Look, I don't even want to have a love relationship with anyone I know. All I want to do is talk, hang out, maybe do a few things outside of school, and go from there. But I'm not in this for dating practice, or because I think somebody looks cute. In fact, at this point, I don't even care if some woman looks like horse! What's inside of them is all that should matter."

At that, Kaitlyn couldn't resist the urge to have her own fun with this. "I'm going to wear a horse helmet just for saying that."

I had to consider the weight of my own words too. What I said felt more powerful than I expected it to, but it really was the truth. I'm not immune to the charms of other women, but I do know how to put a lid on it and control myself. And strangely enough, I've gotten used to talking to people without focusing on how they look, thanks to Lumina of all people. Even though I have seen her once or twice in telepathic vision, it's not an ability that can so easily be invoked, so I'm already forgetting what Lumina actually looks like to some level. I talk to her more than anybody else these days, and still do it without looking directly at her face, as Lumina does to me without seeing my face. It's made me realize that anybody could have something interesting to say regardless of how they look.

"You're such a weird guy."

I know Zero, but I don't really want to hear that from anyone other than myself. Even though she said that, Zero didn't seem upset or put off by the things I said... Maybe because I'm trying to keep everything platonic, she sees me as less of a threat compared to most of the other men in this school. I already know Zero isn't seeing anybody, well, that's what she announced anyway.

"Now I just feel bad for you. Laura? We should let him stay in our group." I wasn't too thrilled to hear that Zero was considering kicking me from their table to begin with, but at least now she trusts me more.

However, Laura tilted herself and gave Zero this creepy grin that made even her wince back a little. "Oh, I get it now!" She made that voice, as if to tease Zero about something I had no knowledge of.

Zero's face turned a slightly darker shade of blood, but kept Laura in her place. "No, you don't get anything."

I'm glad Zero can stand up to Laura's hyperactive energy for a change. I might as well seal the deal so that they understand the full picture. "Great! Also, if you have any wild plans of dressing me up in some kind of costume, I won't be able to comply. Banarus already took on that role."

"Wait, what?!" Now Laura was even more excited, too distracted by the meaning in my words to care about whatever she was saying earlier.

"Well... I'll just sit back and watch."

Like I can actually stop her. It's still hard to get used to, always knowing that every single minute of my life that I'm connected to Lumina, she gets to witness every aspect of what I say, who I speak to, how I behave, everything! My own life has somehow become her new entertainment, even though I never gave her the permission to do things this way.

Zero matched the same level of thrill, the lights going off in her eyes just from the mention of a guy cross-dressing as a girl. "Wait, are you serious?!"

I was a little thrilled that they also found such news to be exciting. It satisfied this strange urge I had to make others around me happy or laugh. But now that they know, I don't think either of them will have any doubts about how serious I am to set myself as far away from heathens as possible. "Nah, it's just a dare is all. I don't think they're actually going to put me in a dress and high heels... They just want to toss makeup on my face and braid my hair is all."

"What a difference."

Zero, Laura, Kaitlyn, and Jaiden all started laughing at the idea, while Laura held on just long enough to point me out the obvious. "There is like no difference in that at all!"

I felt better just thinking it. Maybe it was because I wanted to do what these friends of mine wanted to do. If they want to dress me up as a girl, then I want to allow them to as well. It's my job to make them all happy, right? If I do this, I'll feel even better about myself, and maybe increase my own popularity at the same time.

By the time some of them started to calm down, wiping tears of joy from their eyes, Zero tried to confirm the identify of the mastermind to me. "When you said Banarus, did you mean Banarus Meeky?"

That was in fact her last name. Part of what gave away Britney and Banarus as being twins was their shared last names. "Yeah. You know her?"

"Apparently not well enough. I'm going to be part of whatever this is." I've never seen Zero happy like this before. Sure, this was just comedy for them, but I really was making her day brighter and exciting. She's already started talking to me on her own, and now she's able to laugh this hard over my own strange life choices.

"Strangely, this is fun for them."

I failed to see why Lumina considered that to be strange behavior. "And that's what makes it more fun for me!" Even my telepathic voice was rejuvenated with the building happiness in my heart.

"You know, some of their fun might be in making fun of you."

Leave it to Lumina to be such a buzz kill. Does she really think I didn't already know that? Ever since the idea started, I knew that Banarus's group was mostly having fun at my own expense. But I'm letting them do it anyway, because it makes them happy, it makes them laugh, it makes them come alive again! I love seeing that kind of energy, that much happiness stem from something that I caused to happen. "Even if that is true, I don't care. They think it's funny, and I happen to enjoy giving into that. I don't care about my human reputation on that front. Sure, it makes me seem less manly in the eyes of the whole school, but I actually want that. I want to make it clearer that I truly am anti-men."

"I think they'll get the picture... Or something interesting at least."

"Yeah, sorry if I seem kind of girly. It's just how I feel—"

"No! This is good!" Laura cut me off, ensuring I don't feel bad about being this way. But I wasn't sure what she meant by that.

"It is?"

Zero shook her head, revealing Laura's true intentions to me. "I think she just means it would be funny and silly."

"Someone else in the room is smart." Laura could easily sense the intelligence within Zero too.

With everyone excited at once however, I could barely say much between the four of them, with Kaitlyn now pointing at me holding back her giggles. "He is girly! Look at the way he sits!"

Everybody at the table then tilted themselves to get a look at myself sitting down in the chair. It was something even I failed to notice until Kaitlyn pointed it out for the class. I sat with my left leg crossed over my right knee, a habit I started without thinking about it. Actually, I had no idea that sitting cross-legged was a girly trait until now.

"As long as he doesn't lift his hind leg up when tossing a ball, right?"

Now that's something only a feminine girl would do, and I had enough cartoon references to prove it. I think Zero was partly kidding around at this point, and I knew this wasn't something I did, mainly because I don't participate in sports anyway. "Not—" I stopped short, wondering if it was wrong that I wasn't already doing that. I keep talking about making myself more girly, but that should apply with other traits as well. Maybe the next time I try playing ball, I should do that, just to show it off and see how it feels. "Only sometimes." It was slightly humiliating to admit that, even though it wasn't yet true. With enough time, it won't be a lie either. My accidental hesitation seemed to sell it well enough.

The four of them once again found such admission to be funny enough. Zero and Laura had their bobbing laughing faces buried into their arms, their faces going red just from the reaction alone. But once they all settled down, Zero returned back to a more serious subject she was curious about. "So... Why do you hate men?"

"Because I know they are completely evil inside." I'm too sure of that to back down now. And thanks to Lumina's separation from our conversation, I really felt confident about answering that.

"Sold!" Laura was convinced, and Kaitlyn was nodding her head in agreement. Since most guys always try to prove they are better than everyone else here, it's refreshing for them to hear one say this much.

However, Zero wasn't so easily swayed by the emotions of the others. "No, I mean, how exactly do you know that?"

"That's..." I finally found my words hitting a brick wall. It's not as if I didn't know the answer; Lumina proved this much to me with those special powers of hers. However, the way in which I came to conclude all of this wasn't actually based on anything I could just get away with saying aloud. "I just know, okay?"

Lumina soon enough went loud again, sensing the danger I was now in. "Sorry, I can't help you on this one. The real reason isn't something that you can just explain to them, not without giving too much away in return."

"You sure?" I already knew this myself, at least I suspected as much. I can't just tell everyone that I learned what I did because some alien from outer space beamed her memories of this world's darkest shadows into my head. Still, I want to hear what she has to say about all of this.

"If you tell them that a heathen killed a million women, they'll then ask what reference that is to. You can't kill a million people without becoming world famous."

I had not even considered that angle before. Of course, with everything that Lumina showed me, the fact that a million Altiri were killed by Legasso is one of the biggest factors that made my blood boil. When I added that to the fact that it directly affects Lumina, a person who by now is someone I'm friends with, the anger only amplifies further. I want to get away with telling them about Legasso so badly, but... "You're right." "I can't talk about it." I didn't want to be cryptic about the reason, but I have no choice this time. I can't tell any of them the truth, since it will always in some way lead back to Lumina and the Altiri.

"Well... That's okay then. You don't have to explain why if you don't want to." From Zero's acceptance, I felt like I could sigh and relax myself so much.

"So you can sit with us, and let me draw cats on your sheet!" Laura had that crazed look in her eyes, a promise that she will without fail ensure my empty worksheet paper is full of kitty cat doodles. Zero however was less impressed.

"What is it with you and cats?" Zero referred to the fact that this was not the first time Laura went crazy and drew cats everywhere, but she only did it to my work instead of anybody else, and now she was about to explain the reason why.

"It's not me, it's Reed. He likes cats, and used to have a cat. But his cat died, so we replace it with drawings every day."

"Wonderful," she whispered with such sarcasm, making me chuckle a little.

Laura wasn't wrong about that either. I used to think Maddison was crazy for drawing cats on all of my stuff, but before she started doing that, I answered a simple question with a complicated story. I love cute animals, and cats are much cuter to me than dogs. However, Jypsey ran away some time ago, never to be seen again. Since it was only an indoor cat, I'm 99% certain that thing is dead in the woods somewhere. Ever since then, I've not had a cat since. Worse to that, the grey mold I was exposed to, the same exposure that gave me asthma also gave me twelve new allergies that I never had before, one of them being to cats. I think it also is the reason I have so many headaches these days, one of the universe's biggest middle fingers to my fate of all time. I'm sure there's some nebula out there shaped just like one, aiming its finger right at me somehow. I call this the Middle-Finger Nebula.

But despite all of that, I also feel blessed in some way, like I'm still holding on to a bit of good luck that will one day explode into something brighter. I just have to believe...