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<02/01/2012 - ??:?? | Location Unknown>
I and many others have underestimated the powers of a montrum. Be it real or imaginary, that which generates under the constructs of our minds holds significant information, priceless to our hearts. Whether we define a world as fake or reality, either side the divide cannot survive without the other.
When I gazed around into a world of beauty and wonder, I felt the vigorous pull of belonging and solace amidst the grey-blue abyss of the stormy sky, blooming against the rocky cliff surface of our natural planet. The area set itself on a shoreline of a calm ocean, waiting at the end of time. Even though I was asleep, even though I was dreaming, the new world I found myself in was amazing beyond conception, just like the worlds dreamt up before it. I foresaw no sadness, only infinite wonder and amazing mystery, the sensations of a montrum.
This infinite blue world I found myself in housed so many questions left unanswered, questions I found more interesting than what remained in the real world I felt familiar with. The weather here was the first amazing wonder of this infamous zone. The darkness of the sky despite the daytime reflected the power and purpose of the storm so high above, a kind of fog that painted the atmosphere this mesmerizing color. It felt so cold, yet so welcoming to us all. Though the area remained dry, if it dared to rain, I'm sure the sky would rain upwards or sideways to its own preference.
I knew if I traveled and explored this place, I would find infinite detail awaiting appreciation and appraisal. I remained still, closing my eyes on occasion to let my mind swim in the vast ocean of wonder and thought around me. The thoughts and montrums of everybody are invisible, yet they exist somewhere, hidden in a field of conception I could never hope to fully understand. Standing here in this place, it reminds me of that place, a place I've never been to before.
I could imagine their thoughts, imagine their emotions. Should any other person find themselves here, lost and confused, I'd be willing to help, to talk, to nurture. I'd want to stay here forever, meeting people on my mystic journey as I tell newcomers all about the world I come from. I'd use no restraint; the announcement of my true life would be set forth as greeting, an extension of my nervous hand dying for connection. I come from a world of sleepers, enclosed on itself, though laid with few doors open to amazing places and amazing people.
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Yet here I stand now, in a world most foreign to me, a formation of conceptualized possibilities. I want to stay in this world for a long time. I want to live in a place like this and meet new people. In a world with different possibilities, I can achieve that which I find impossible to my other life. I'd have powers here I have nowhere else, topped with one hell of a view. Even as I know this world to only exist as a dream, I want to stay here for a long time, building my happiness and my future by my own laws and rules.
Stuck in a place so vivid and beautiful, I had to wonder how much difference there was to a world so amazing yet imaginary, and a world so ordinary yet real. What keeps us all in a state of reality? What determines which world is real and which world is fake? We have not the power to decide, given our birth to imagination and dream. That can only mean, this world really does exist, in a different format, in a different arrangement of existence, in a plane all separate from what we know. What holds us back from staying in such a world? What separates these planes of existence, imprisoning us behind our single individual perceptions?
I cannot be certain of the answer. As much as I want this boundless world to exist, another part of me screamed the opposite in contradiction, holding me down to the same principles of human intelligence and experience. I can feel something incredible though, something far beyond my conceptive imagining of a dream state. That which others dream, that which people feel and wish for, I can tell it exists in a place just like this, in a place segmented in its own domain, kept from us no matter how strong our wings of hope fly us.
At the same time, it is a sensation I am not allowed to know in my current state. Despite not knowing why, I was certain I would lose myself if I dove any deeper into myself to find the truth. A world like this has laid out before us a trap; we are both the trappers and the targets. A world without boundaries is as infinite as it is beautiful, but to gaze into its light for understanding will only lead to madness. It is an existence separate from rationality and logic, free from the confines that holds our minds together.
I want to know what lies beyond my current reality, but I am not allowed to peer too far outside the boundaries of infinity, less I be destroyed by all the overflow my human mind couldn't handle. One day, I will be free to explore beyond this world, when the chains binding my soul are released.