<04/07/2011 - 09:44 | Saffrin Middle School (Math), Austell, GA, USA>
The moment April arrived, I connected the dots of the newest weather patterns happening in Georgia. Suffice it to say, the situation is deteriorating against me. It's still technically spring, but there seems to be more on and off days which I'm capable of contacting Lumina, either based on weather conditions or based on headache conditions.
Luckily for today, I had neither of those problems. It's becoming rarer for a full day to get cool and stay cool, but it looks like I drew that lucky straw this time. So naturally, I was in a stellar mood, just as happy as Banarus currently was, laughing about something so hard in the background. Since I'm sitting outside of her group today, I don't know what she and the others were talking about, nor did I care.
I didn't care because right now, I finalized making some plans tonight with my best friend. "Sounds like fun Lumina! Another night spent with you is another night of awesomeness!"
"You sound so silly and cute right now." Lumina was in about as good of a mood as I was, and it easily sounded through her telepathic voice.
Still, I took some offense to that. "I'm not silly or cute." Clueless was I to not know what made her say that. Huh? Before I could say anymore, some more laughter erupted from Banarus's group, enough to make the teacher shush them all with a stern unspoken warning.
The class was fairly chaotic in terms of the noise level, though we were all working on our assignments in the background of talking. That's not important to me though. What got to me was how much fun the four of them were having over there. I've never seen a single one of them this excited before, and boy did I feel left out.
"Why not just go over there and talk to them?"
"I don't know." It's becoming more awkward for me to hang out with them lately, and they've low-key given me some of the same treatment in return. "Maybe it's because, I've spent so much time with you, that I've kind of ignored them when I do sit over there. I don't want to, but talking with you and talking with Banarus's group at the same time is next to impossible." I knew full well it wasn't as difficult as I made it sound, but there were rarely ever any days where even half of them would laugh or have fun like that. Worse, they've on occasion made it clear that my being there was making them feel awkward, even though I've never been a bother to them before. Plus, on the days where Lumina isn't here with me, it's hard for me to be in the mood to match their energy.
"Well you've got nothing better to do for school. You might as well go and see if they'll let you hang out, right?"
I think Lumina can somehow sense my envy to the group, either that I want to hang out with them when we're all in this good mood, or that I'm simply jealous of not having human friends I can do that with. Even so, it's not like I'm not allowed to sit over there. All I have to do is grab an empty desk and slide it over like it's Tetris. "Let's go find out." I stood out of my seat, heading over there with my supplies to see what kind of fun they were having.
"I'll bring the best cards over tonight!" Ashly sure was in a cheerful mood, and her eyes dilated entirely just to show it.
Banarus relayed her thoughts on that statement back to Ashly while I stood not too far from them all. "You can, but my sister is still hard to beat in bullshit."
Based on what intel I had so far, I knew they were talking about getting a deck of cards together for a popular game. I don't know how well it will age, but it's been a more popular variant of card games lately, one that even I know how to play. Banarus and the others call it bullshit, but it's basically just the same exact game as Go-Fish. The only key difference is that the players call bullshit instead of Go-Fish, and also to get rid of as many cards as possible. The sole reason for its variant is to give people an excuse to curse out loud amongst each other, at least in my opinion.
"You better bring more. I'm not going to sleep that early." Even Maddison was getting stoked for this, a rare sight to my eyes.
By now, I had to butt my way into this and find out what on earth was going on... But I knew it would have been rude to just plainly interrupt them like that. Maybe Lumina knows something... Oh, right, I could just ask her. "What's this buzz about? It sounds like they're..." I didn't know if I could finish the sentence, only because I didn't think it was that likely.
Lumina however answered for me anyway, now excited since she was certain in her observation to what was playing out before her. "It looks like a slumber party, still in the making. And it doesn't look like it's their first time doing it."
"Hey everyone!" I so easily matched their excitement after what Lumina just told me. I've always wondered what it was even like, for one school friend to visit the home of another. I've never even had that experience before, which to me is quite sad. "Really? A slumber party? The kind with a sleepover with friends where you have fun playing stuff like Truth or Dare?"
"That's the kind."
"That's what I was hoping for! What a wonderful way to spend a night!" "Did I hear right? You are all having a sleepover?"
"Anytime we can." Ashly seemed receptive to me asking thus far.
I was now glad I came over here to figure this out. This is finally my chance to see what it's really like, the experience I've always wanted. "Cool. I'll join you."
As soon as I said that, all four of the girls at the cluster of tables all blurted out a nervous "What," including Lumina, all at the same time. It was right then that I realized I might have done or said something wrong.
Banarus and Malica started laughing at me like I was some kind of idiot, though Ashly wasn't really making the same kind of face. She got stern with me and gave me the short end of the boot. "You can't come over to our slumber party Reed."
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What? "But why not? It really sounds like fun. Aren't we friends?" I knew full well we we're not really friends, but I don't think the four of them scale the same significance of friendship like I do. The bigger problem was that it was a no go for everyone involved, yet I had no idea why. Am I really so unpopular that I can't be invited over to a potential friend's house, just to have a little fun? It's not like I would have to actually stay the night over and sleep there; I'd leave after long enough.
I really didn't understand the reasoning, but it looked like Banarus was about to tell me herself. "What she means is, this is a girl's thing. And you're a guy."
I had a rough second to process that, partially offended and partially embarrassed given how I felt. "Yeah, but you know as well as I do that I'm into those girly things. I'm definitely into slumber parties." Only my last statement held the most meaning to me. I haven't been acting entirely girly like I used to, but I was certainly going to make an exception for a slumber party. I've seen countless examples of how they play out in teen drama shows, and even Lumina described one to me once. I just don't see how it's really that girly to want to go to one.
"Reed?"
"What?" I was slightly annoyed by the way Lumina was addressing me, because it was already clear that even she saw some kind of fault with my plans. I wanted to know what her deal was, but Banarus once again spelled some of it out for me before either of us could speak.
"You're a guy! You can't join us for that. I'm sorry Reed, but that's just the way it is." Banarus didn't seem so angry to me, just surprised that I asked in the first place.
But another no is a complete no. "I see... Okay then." Trying not to seem so down about this decision, I turned around and went back over to my old seat. There was no way in hell I wanted to hang out with any of them now, not after they've denied me even a little of more social life in my life.
"I knew they wouldn't go for it."
"What?" She knew? I would like to know the reason why, but something else had to be answered first. "Then why didn't you stop me sooner? Why won't they just let me join something for once?"
Oddly, Lumina was mute for a few seconds before speaking her mind again. "Actually, I'm kind of shocked. You really don't understand people's perspective sometimes."
"Help me out Lumina, cause I don't get it. They know already that I can be a girly guy, and that I'm not into all of that heathen stuff. I'm not wanting to go for something stupid like other men might ask for." The more I talked about this, the more upset I became. I'm really going to have to die and come back to life as an alien just to get the slumber party experience, aren't I?
"They suspect that, but to them, there is no guarantee. Besides... It's just not in their best interest to—"
"No, that's bullshit! If they really were my friends, then they would understand that I'm not a heathen, that I would never do anything weird or perverted. I have absolutely no interest in making a move on a single one of them. I just want to have the same kind of fun they are having. Is that so wrong?" I wasn't ashamed for what I asked earlier. I know that I'm right! It isn't fair that I have to be kicked out of an activity simply because of the way I was born, something I cannot even control.
"It's not wrong Reed. I just don't think they are ever going to move past their slightest doubts that you are going to behave the way you say you will."
Even though I wasn't thrilled, hearing Lumina tell me that I wasn't in the wrong calmed me down enough to breath evenly again. "So then, you're saying they don't trust me?"
"Yeah, that's one way of putting it."
I see... "Well then, that's that. What good friends are they for anyway? I'll still give Banarus one more chance, since I feel like I owe her one for the effort she puts in sometimes to keep me in their loop. But after this crap, the rest of them and me are even."
"Don't worry about it Reed." Taking a page from my book, Lumina decided to use her physical voice with me, only to indicate how serious she was about this.
"In all of this, I just want to have one single human friend that I can hang out with on some level, someone I can be open with. And out here, there is just nobody I can do that with." Despite how it feels that my world has expanded, aside from myself and Lumina, I feel like I'm totally alone in this school.
"Well..." Lumina paused, trying her best to find a way to lift my spirits back up. "You still have me that you can hang out with and talk to."
"Didn't we talk about all of that Altiri stuff anyway?" I wasn't trying to sound like a jerk, but Lumina has really told me almost everything about her world for the most part, and it's a strange feeling now. I used to be amazed after hearing a single fact about an alien world... But now, the shock factor of it all is getting weaker.
"So then we just move onto another subject. How about, instead of just sitting and talking all the time, we try to do something else? Or did you forget that there are certain experiences I've never had the chance to have until now?"
Her words moved me a little, opening my eyes to the bigger picture I should have seen all along. Lumina and I have mostly just been talking, but there are actual activities she might like to enjoy, even if only through my own body and senses. "Yeah, you're right... Sorry Lumina. I've been a little selfish lately with my telepathy. I totally forgot that this world is still kind of new to you, at least under the new circumstances. You might have experienced a lot using clairvoyance, but it doesn't mean you got to experience things in the same way you could through me and the telepathy."
"See? You understand. And the only thing those girls over there are missing is perspective."
"Perspective huh?" Having them know every second and detail about my life would certainly help. I mean, there is a good reason why I feel strange and girly sometimes. All I want is to not be masculine to any degree, and I'm trying my best to be that way. But without understanding why, they must think I'm putting on an act. "Can I even give that to them?"
"Not without revealing all of your secrets to them at the same time." Lumina meant her secrets in particular, but it would be up to me if I ever blabbed it to anybody.
"Got it... Okay, what should we do then?" If Lumina want's to try and have a new experience, so be it. I'll let her do whatever she wants, if it's within reason. Come on, alien girl. What's something on this earth you're always wanted to try?
"Well, ask and see if you can go anywhere as a family first. You don't have a car, so that's really your only way to go anywhere outside of your neighborhood."
I'm for once not happy that she's right. It will be extra annoying having to maneuver my way to other areas for fun while hiding the reasons for doing so. "I'll ask. But for today, I can't promise any results, since it's too soon to plan anything. But, we can still hang out tonight outside my house."
"And after that, you could put on a movie in your room. I'll simply watch it through your eyes, the same way I do with the rest of the world."
That's actually a good idea. I forgot that Lumina has the ability to watch any movie I will let her watch simply by being connected to me, if the connection is good enough. I wonder if she might like some books. "Can you read?" As soon as I asked the question, I had to backtrack my own words regretfully. "I'm sorry. That sounded much worse than I meant it to. Can you read and keep up with a quick pace?" That's what I meant to ask. Applying the same rule, Lumina might be able to read some books with me too.
"Yeah, but your eyesight has a quick and narrow kind of focus. This means that I can't see through your eyes in any different way than you can. So, I can only read at the pace that you keep up at."
"Sounds fair... Okay then. Let's have some fun tonight, on our own terms for once." This could work. I can't mimic a slumber party with only two people, but I think I can make this work if I set things up right. Tell me I can't have fun? Suck it world!