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<02/20/2012 - ??:?? | Location Unknown>

More often than not, whether I'm asleep or awake, I keep finding myself immersed inside some incredible or amazing worlds. Even when I no longer have the ability to participate in lucid dreaming, the memories I bring back from them leave me in a state of montrum for these new worlds. They're so incredible, so fascinating and full of mystery. Each time I find myself in these places, the sky above me is filled with storm, always is the airspace a specific full color of blue. Whatever is out there calling my soul; how badly I want to answer and find out what is on the other side of our boundaries.

But I had to be real, abode by the rules and laws we refer to as reality, opposite of imagination. Still, as amazing as I found the deepest corners of my own mind, I was certain about one other aspect. Lumina and everything about her world are also part of reality. Some would think that I've imagined Lumina as well, but I can assure anyone that this isn't the case. Even in times where I'm not sure how I know what I know, I am absolutely positive that Lumina exists.

It's not myself I needed to convince, but rather anybody else in my vicinity that I deemed worthy of my personal friendship. Trying to talk to another human regarding the principles of the Altiri civilization was no easy task. I've already tried this once and was blasted down for my ignorance. Despite Lumina's warning, and despite my own experiences, I was ready to try again today. With the girl already in front of me, our full attention on each other, I knew I would have to pull out all I could to make myself sound more convincing.

"What I'm telling you is real. I know how crazy it sounds, but all that stuff about psionic telepathy really happened to me. My girlfriend is an alien. Everything about her world is incredible, and there's no reason to believe it merely part of someone's fantasy."

"You mean your fantasy? I don't know. You're telling me some really strange stuff." She shied backwards, averting her gaze from me. The girl was too ashamed to even look at me now.

I haven't spoken very often to Malica Ridge ever since that day she and I first met. I wasn't even sure what she was doing in gym class today, since she doesn't actually have a class here. But between the free-for-all periods and the way students can just roam around when the excuse sounds good enough, her presence didn't really strike me as odd. Every now and then, she and I would generally chat about how we've been. Today however, I wasn't willing to let her go in bliss like each time before.

Every time I have to lie to somebody I know about Lumina, every time I have to pretend like I'm somehow protecting her when I clam up about our secret, my heart twists a little more. How long should I have to hide this from people? How long must I go isolating myself from everybody over something that only I know? I may not know Ms. Ridge as well as I do others, but right now, I'm choosing to trust her with something important.

However, I could see already how quick she was to assume I was insane, by the looks in her expression, body language, and her stone cold words. "So what if it's weird? It's the truth. I've had to put up with this for more than a year, all by myself. I didn't ask to be purged by an Altiri alien, but that's just what happened to me. Ever since that day, I've had Lumina's voice in my head each day that it's been cold enough."

"You're not going to make any friends if you keep believing that." She didn't sound confident enough to continue arguing with me. Malica instead started walking off gently towards the direction of some of her friends.

Naturally, I had to follow her to keep up, but it wouldn't be long before she walks in earshot range for any random stranger to hear what we were talking about; I knew what she was doing. "Even I realize it's not going to be easy for me to get along with anyone like this, but I have to try."

"Why me then?"

"Shouldn't you know why already?" Even I wasn't sure if I could answer my own question, but Malica had to understand by now the reason I was telling her all of this. I didn't trust the others with a secret of this magnitude. I had to work my own courage just to tell you, Malica Ridge.

She didn't acknowledge me after this point though. Malica caught up to her group of people pretty quickly. I lurked silently for a moment to overhear their conversation, ensuring she had no intention of repeating everything I said to anyone else. After two more minutes of pointless chatter, I realized that I somehow scared her away. After this point on, I'd be amazed if she ever tries to talk to me again about anything... So that's that then. The second person I've confessed this secret to, and once again do they shun me out.

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"I'm sorry Reed. I should have known she wasn't going to believe you."

"Well that doesn't help me now, does it?" I knew Lumina was passively listening in; I asked her to in the first place. Damn it all! I thought all this time that Malica Ridge was someone cool, someone who was mature enough to understand this kind of situation. But instead, she's just like everybody else, isn't she?

"Don't fret about it. I doubt she would repeat anything, and you can always try this with somebody else you know better."

"Lumina?" I knew what she was doing; Lumina was trying as hard as she could to calm me down and raise my spirits up again. Unfortunately, not every defeat can be brushed off. "Can you please just phase out for now? I need some time to myself."

I don't care how much of a jerk I sounded like saying this much, but I needed time to process all that happened alone. After I asked, Lumina didn't deny me my moment of privacy.

As a punishment stacked on top of my own mistake, I spent the remaining thirty minutes of gym alone, circling the place in a paced walk, going over the events again and again in my head. To say I was angry was an understatement, but the additional problem of my chaotic mind played against me too.

I didn't think I was bored enough for this to happen, but I've still had to deal with UAD at least once a month. Maybe it was because of how I felt now or some other reason, but it only took those thirty minutes for a UAD episode to begin happening.

Though I was angry enough as it was, I removed myself from the building after the bells chimed, so that I could rip into the dirt on my own accord, ignoring all the judgmental eyes and ears of those who passed me by. Just when I thought I was coming out of the moment to become myself again, I instead found myself in the dark, silent space of my room, sitting up in a daze from the state of sleep.

I was obviously dreaming moments ago, but the realization didn't register with me right away. Whatever dream state I was in didn't feel all that fake, but sitting back in my room again felt surreal enough for me to write this off.

I took more time than normal getting up and motivated today, confused by how this all felt. In the end, it was nothing but a dream, yet it didn't feel like anything I could ignore. With no other way to deal with what I just lived through, I forced myself to forget about it until I could be in school again.

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<02/20/2012 - 10:20 | Saffrin Middle School (Gym), Austell, GA, USA>

"Sorry Lumina. Could you please just give me a moment to think? Please?" I haven't felt like my normal self ever since today began, but that's likely because I've somehow managed to go through two iterations of school, up until the end of gym class anyway. Despite how I'm used to having Lumina hear my every thoughts, I needed my own time to analyze this situation, without her specific input. I cared not which thoughts were about to be projected or kept to myself.

"Yeah, sure."

While Lumina remained silent, I held my chin standing still in the middle of the gymnasium, trying to figure out the meaning behind my dream, as well as the meaning of this current moment. As I wandered my eyes around in wait, I noticed since the beginning that Malica Ridge was walking around, chatting with her friends. Seeing her enter this class wasn't so rare that it was impossible, but the odds were never more than a dime of a chance. Yet, here she was, skipping one of her classes to be in here. If it had been any other day or time, I wouldn't have really noticed.

But all of those subtle reminders about the strange dream I had gave me an unsettling feeling. Was this a coincidence? I have a dream about gym class with Malica Ridge in it, and on the very same day I awaken from the dream, she's standing here in the flesh. I'm fully aware that this could be a coincidence, but... Is it really that simple? "Hey Lumina?"

"Yes?"

"Remember when I said I wanted to tell somebody today about the Altiri?"

"You did mention it once."

"I changed my mind, at least for now."

"It's probably for the best, until you have a clear way to present the facts."

If that's what Lumina wants to believe, I won't stop her. My true motivation to take no action stemmed from some other memories I couldn't shake, memories of that moment while I was asleep. Even if it was a dream, I'm fairly certain Malica Ridge would react in exactly the same way if I really did try to put it on her. For the past few days, I've let the idea stir in my mind that I would tell somebody about Lumina, somebody like Ms. Ridge. My actions in the dream and today were one and the same, at least at the stages of planning. I've been expecting to tell her, waiting for what felt like the right moment. Then again, can I really take something for face value if it never really happened?

"Reed? Are you okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, I'm just a little spacy right now." There's no reason to alarm Lumina that I felt strange about today, on top of the serious Déjà vu I've been having. If anything about that dream were accurate, there's no way I'd want to relive it in the first place. "Just talk to me about something for the rest of the class. I think I'm in for another UAD moment if I don't entertain myself soon." The sensation tugging at the background of my mind wasn't a facade either, though I figured I would be better off getting through the strange day by pretending like nothing weird was happening.

If only I could foresee the mess I was in for next...