<10/30/2011 - 07:11 | 77 Cloverleaf Trail, Dahlonega, GA, USA>

During the next morning roll call, I was the slowest one to get out of bed and move around. Everybody could tell I've turned into a walking zombie overnight, and I wasn't about to kid myself either. Despite getting at least four hours of sleep last night, I was totally exhausted, physically and psionically. I knew I would have trouble calling Lumina even if it were cold outside.

However, when I went outside between our next activities, I found that the ambient air temperature was at 55 Nixus, right at the threshold for a very weak connection, assuming I would have the energy to make it work, which I didn't.

While every part of me was down below the zone, the happiness and excitement from yesterday still lingered, especially when I thought back to the memory of yesterday. All of that exhaustion and lack of sleep might have sucked now, but it was totally worth it considering how much fun I had earlier. Without a doubt, I concluded that this was the best fieldtrip I've ever had... Correction. This has been the best moment I've ever had in my entire life! I couldn't remove the smile of solace from my face with everything on my mind now.

By nine a.m., we went for our final group lesson, as we gathered by an interesting water fountain with a few turtles swimming around inside. The instructor who studied wild life claimed it was his favorite activity, which told me he had a love for turtles. So, the topic switched mostly to that as I stood in the middle of random students, my mind slow and resting on the basis of yesterday.

"What's with you?"

My silence of peace had already been disturbed by the burden of Laura's passive curiosity. I wasn't sure if I was making a goofy expression of joy, or a scary face of total deprivation, since I felt both at once. "Tired." I didn't bother trying to make a conversation with her, since even that took more effort than I wanted to. The one thing that will always apply to me is, I'm not a morning person.

"You look kind of happy."

So I'm making that goofy, dreamy face after all? Oh, who am I to help it though? "I'm okay." I knew I was okay, given what was currently on my mind.

Lumina... Lumina... Lumina... Like a schoolgirl stuck with the biggest crush on her mind, I was hypnotized by her brilliance; not a single detail about Lumina could escape me now.

After Laura shrugged it off, I paid more attention to the instructor, trying to do anything to wake my mind up again. "And that's where they tend to live. The lifespan of a sea turtle is similarly measurable to humans. You may approach the tank for a closer look, but no poking the turtle."

As expected, everyone tried to gather around the fountain, but since I wasn't the only exhausted person here, there was a lack of pushing and shoving. I decided I would also take a much closer look, just for the sake of it. When I was face to face with this brilliant sea turtle, lots of things crossed my mind.

Many sometimes ask me what my favorite animal is, and I could never give a real answer, since I have too many to choose from. Some animals are just more fascinating than others, like the cat or the owl. Sea turtles, or turtles in general are fascinating to me too. They strike me more as cool, enough for me to imagine them wearing tiny little sunglasses and organizing miniature biker gangs.

Why are they so cool? Turtles tend to hang out in their cozy little shells, protecting themselves from all of life's great challenges, be it physical or psychological. They don't stay inside forever though; they come out of that shell whenever they damn well please, on their time, on their choice.

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The turtle reminded me of myself for a brief moment, as I thought back to yesterday's most surreal memories. Maybe it was harder for me to imagine now simply because of my lack of energy, but it really was most unlike me to rock out on the dance floor and become the center of attention. Usually, I avoid anything that brings me attention, and as much as I like dancing, I was generally too embarrassed to do it in front of other people. So what happened to me yesterday? Was it simply a matter of me stepping out of my own shell, ignoring all the little vanities we drum up about ourselves long enough to let loose? Or was it simply a matter of having too much energy and excitement to leave alone? Oh wise turtle, lend me your immeasurable understanding of the world, and let me know which is better.

After stepping away from the fountain to be alone, I tried to prepare my body for something in vain. I knew Lumina would love to see this, since she doesn't really see other special creatures up close in her world. As I tried to project, even just in a form of a test, I realized that I was too drained and exhausted to try. It had me asking myself whether it was possible to become psionically drained simply from using a prolonged telepathic connection, but I could not be sure.

Instead of sulking about the inability to spend this morning with Lumina, I returned to my lingering bliss from the overall enjoyment of this entire weekend, losing myself in the best memories I've ever made so far. I became so entranced by them, Laura's voice startled me visibly.

"Had enough fun being a girl for one weekend?"

"Oh, well..." Laura wasn't by herself this time. She had Zero and Mikaela standing by, purely out of curiosity to how I would have considered it... But my mind was still so sluggish and exhausted, that it took me a lot longer to come up with anything to say, revealing to everyone how out of spirit I was despite my glowing happiness. "I think I've had enough fun for the weekend."

"That dance was awesome! And it was so funny that you wore that there."

Mikaela chimed in next, with a hint of jealousy and concern. "I didn't think you would be able to dance like that in heels; you're ten times better at those shoes than me. I'm don't think I can be happy about that."

Yeah, yesterday was a blast... But now it's over. I should still be happy though. There's still the marriage I have to look forward to.

"I take it the dress you borrowed is safe?"

"Yeah, I still have it. I'll put it into the wash at home before returning it." I still had to remind myself to be careful. It is Zero's dress, but I don't want anyone else knowing I have it.

"It's okay. I can wash it at my house."

"Really? I don't mind doing the favor... But if you're sure..." Who am I to argue? If Zero really wants it back sooner, I'll go get it before we leave Wahsega today. It will be one less thing I have to worry about. It's probably for the best too. If any of my parents found out I had been cross-dressing, they would hang my skin out to dry. Also, for whatever reason, it's apparently seen as a gay thing to do in this society. I get the stigma about gay men acting fruity, but I fail to see what wearing a dress has to do with it.

"Alright everyone," the instructor announced. "That will conclude the final lesson of our trip. Let's go back to the cabins and get everything packed up. I'm told the buses will leave in exactly one hour."

"Guess I'll go pack my things." My body delayed my decision to start moving, but eventually marched down to the cabin so that I could be prepared. I wasn't too fond of leaving my acquaintances behind for almost an hour, especially with nothing to do in that time. With as tired as I was, I knew I wouldn't have to worry about the onset of UAD, but being bored still went against my principles, so I tried to find them again after I was done packing everything up.

As I waited for that final hour of our fieldtrip, I thought back again to the lesson of the turtle. I didn't pay enough attention to the biological facts the instructor was spewing out. Instead, my thoughts on the turtle and the shell brought me back to a similar revelation from before. Yesterday, I was more social than I've ever been before, all without realizing it. It's nothing to complain about, but I still wanted to know if I could continue to be that way. Maybe I can't have fun on that level ever again, but it doesn't mean I have to stay a mute shell for the rest of my school years. If I was ever to figure it out, I would need Lumina's help again.

Then that was that. We all occupied the buses on the way back. Only after the first hour enroute did I recover enough energy for a connection with Lumina, a very weak one at that. In all, it made my ride back home most comfortable, and I could always look back on this memory for inspiration.