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<01/04/2011 - 13:11 | Saffrin Middle School (English), Austell, GA, USA>
Thanks to the enlightening moment I had today in gym class, I could feel my mind speeding up with the lifting mood. The hundreds of thoughts per second in my head were accelerating a little more, putting me into what I would call a work-mood. Since this is English class, I could in theory work on whatever I wanted to, since I'm already days ahead of my assignments, but I still need to make sure nothing new gets added on.
So, I sat patiently in a random empty cluster of desks as everybody was already settling in for the usual. I felt calm, and at the same time awake and alert, ready for any action. Lumina on the other hand was not too familiar with the routine I was engaging with, and spoke up first once she noticed the difference.
"How come you're not sitting by your group today?"
"I just don't feel like it for some reason. Plus, I'm not staying here once the roll call is over with."
"You're not?"
"Nope. I have plans to head to the media center again, login, and work on some of my stuff from home. But I have to stay for roll call first." It's become a bit more routine for me lately. I've been ducking out of classes where I'm ahead, and going to the media center. They've got computers we can all use, and all I have to do is access my flash drive and work on the new projects.
"Oh. That's interesting."
"Yeah, I've decided to work on it at school during my free time as well as at home. It really helps me out with this UAD thing. It feels amazing to work on all of these projects."
"Well, I won't argue that it's a bad idea. I just wish you could sit with your friends more often."
"I can do that anytime during class, but I may have to wait ten minutes before I can actually do anything. Looks like there might be a new assignment?"
"Want to talk about stuff to pass the time?"
"Sure, I guess... But no more of those embarrassing stories." I'm still trying to mentally recover from some of the things I said to her, uncertain what came over me earlier.
"Okay... What about whatever else is going on in your life?"
"Like what? I don't really get to do anything anymore because of school. I don't have any strong friends for me to hang out with outside of class. And I don't have any upcoming field trips either."
"What about your Sunday School?"
"Oh, I stopped going to that the day after my parents split..." It was a strange thing for her to bring up. It's been too long now, and I've nearly forgotten about going to church. But I'm not unhappy for this outcome. "Now that I think about it, Sunday School might be a big waste of time."
"It is? I mean, I wouldn't know."
Right. Lumina has no churches of worship in her world. It would have bothered me at first, but something different happened instead. "It's an interesting subject; religion. I've been reading the Bible lately."
"Really?"
"Yeah... The more lines I read out of that text, the more I feel like it's all just someone else's mental mess thrown together into some crazy book just to tell a popular belief about the afterlife. I keep coming across inconsistencies that make no sense, and horrific verses about the way we are seen or treated by this so called God. Does that sound crazy?" It's really the first time I've started to question this whole religion nonsense. The only reason I wanted to read the Bible in the first place was to find out where the Altiri come into play with the sacred verses. If God and Jesus played key roles in prophesizing the Bible, then surely there would have been at least a single mention of aliens. But there isn't a single mention of it in there. Instead, I'm learning something different.
"Hardly. You know I'm not that religious."
"No, I didn't know that. I still believe in God for the most part, but I just don't know what to make of it anymore. Still, I never took you for a complete atheist."
"Well, look what happened once upon a time, when the Altiri did believe in a god."
"Legasso was no god. And your people came a long way of understanding to learn that. There is no reason to be afraid of having that kind of faith."
"Can we really just accept that?"
I wanted to quickly reassure Lumina that she doesn't need to be an atheist, but what I said earlier was tugging on my mind more than before. I'm literally asking Lumina to believe in God when I've just now pointed out that the Bible isn't making any sense. So is it even right for me to try and convert her? "I don't know. Like I said, the Bible has so many inconsistencies and contradictions. But even if there weren't, I can't find anything in any passage mentioning the Altiri civilization."
"We only played a small role in getting humans to make any reputation of us."
"But that's exactly my point. If humans wrote this material, and only did so based on what might have made sense to them at their time, then all of this religious nonsense is nothing more than a high quality lie. But does that really mean that God is fake? How did the universe come into creation? And what would be the planned involvement between humans and Altiri? A plan has to exist, because you and I are talking with each other right now."
"Yeah, but nobody really knows that Reed. That's my problem with religion. Nobody seems to really know what's going on, even if they claim to."
"Okay... So where do you think people go after they die? And don't tell me about the ten-day purgatory thing. I want to know what happens after that, if a transperation fails." She has to know something about that, right? The Altiri wouldn't just embrace oblivion knowing that transperation is a mere possibility.
"Well... I don't know. But not knowing has no merit on what I believe to be true regarding a divine deity."
"Sounds to me like this whole Christianity thing is all false, and that we're starting to abandon it altogether."
"Fine, but I never believed in that stuff to begin with."
"I can live with that Lumina. Still, I wonder what my parents would think if they knew what I was thinking right now." I can take a few harsh guesses. My parents are die-hard Christian conservatives, and any potential deviation from the teaching of the church is returned with harsh torment or punishment. They would probably disown me.
"Probably what I would expect; an all-out rebellion. They'd rush to have you baptized or something stupid." So she thinks the same way as me on this.
"Does baptism even do anything?" I heard all about it before. They throw holy water on someone and it forces them into loving Jesus, or something like that. It doesn't make any sense, but I don't really want to try it out for myself anyway with the way things are going.
"It's just a highly effective placebo effect."
"I see... Well there is no need to worry about it anyway. It's not like my parents are going to suspect your presence anyway. The more that dickhead gets involved in my life, the more I resent mom for letting him live there."
"You're talking about your stepdad?"
"Who else? That guy is like, the heathen of all heathens. And if he even thinks about trying anything physical, I'll stab him a hundred times with a knife and call it self-defense."
"I taught you well."
It's nice that I can say something like that and get no negative judgments from her. I've hated Peterson long before Lumina and her purge ever showed up, but he seems to be getting even worse of a person with each passing day. The man is an abuser, though he's holding back to pretend like he's not. How else could I explain such vile yelling and violence from his cursed tongue? I really am serious about killing him in self-defense. I have the right to protect myself from people like that, family or not. "That you did."
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
After having enough, and analyzing the interesting way our conversation drifted into religion, I stood up from my desk, asked the teacher for the usual, and made my way down to the library as planned. I wasn't exactly bored enough to be at the first stage of UAD, but working on my own projects anyway will prevent it from even coming up in the first place.
"So what is it you come here to do?" Lumina asked as I was logging myself into one of the workstations.
I pulled up the document I was working on, bringing up a six-page long, two-chapter story I'm trying to launch.
"So you do like to write, or type I should say."
"Yeah, writing too much hurts my hands, and my thumbs can't even keep up with the speed of my thoughts, but I can keep up on a keyboard, so typing is just how I do it now."
"You ever think about publishing one day?"
"As much as I expect this habit to continue. This is more of practice. I'll work on something big soon."
"You really enjoy it a lot. It's good that you have a hobby!" Lumina perked up her voice to show her enthusiasm, but I had to correct the error of her ways.
"It's much more than a hobby. Plus, it helps my UAD too."
"How?"
"Remember when you said this might all have something to do with my ADD?"
"I did mention that."
"I think you were onto something. Every second of every day, I have all of these background thoughts bouncing through my head; ideas, sounds, images, they're always there."
"That sounds exhausting."
Under ordinary circumstances, it would be. "But when I'm writing, I can focus all of these side-thoughts to the same subject, and generate a lot more detail as I type. When I'm working on that, it's actually really fun. It's the opposite of exhausting! It gives me this good buzzed feeling in my head. I think my mind just craves having something to focus on all day long."
"That's so weird... Uh, in a good way." Fearing she might have offended me, Lumina tried to put herself in my shoes for a change. But I couldn't blame her for being curious, as this was strange to me too.
"Nice save," I replied sarcastically.
"No, I mean it Reed! If you can have that much fun making all of these books and wipe your UAD out completely, then it means you're cured!"
I felt hesitant to agree with her, only because it sounded too easy. However, I knew the truth already; that when working on this stuff, my UAD is kept far at bay, far away enough that I forget it existed in the first place. And to think I made this book brand new after hearing Laura's suggestion about it... "Yeah..."
"What's wrong?"
"It's just that, I wish I were more perfect like you, Lumina. You have it so good up there. If I were an Altiri instead of a human, I wouldn't have this stupid UAD problem in the first place. And if it's not UAD I'm dealing with, then it's this strange bad luck with technology. And if it's not that, it's those stupid godforsaken headaches! The last one I had made me want to just quit on everything."
"I'm sorry Reed, but I can't help you with that. If I could turn you from a human into an Altiri while you are still there on Earth, I would have done it by now."
Well, I'm not making any progress with the book, but I'm just fine talking to Lumina. Even though we ran out of things to say about how our worlds work, we're still finding things to talk about anyway, which I presumed would be impossible. "Hey Lumina? I should have asked this earlier, but is there a remote possibility for a purge or telepathy to cause headaches down the road?" They've been getting worse and more frequent lately, and I have to wonder if this relates to the purge as well.
"It's definitely not. We've confirmed from all our other reports that headaches are an isolated phenomena that only humans experience. Purging them seems to have no effect on whether they get them or not."
"But then, you have purged a human who used to get them a lot, right?"
"Are you getting them more often Reed? It's not good if that is happening to you." She evaded my question of her data, but I don't really care anymore anyway. "Still, it has nothing to do with the purge. Of that, I'm sure."
"Well, at least that's something. I don't normally get them often, but they have been bothering me more ever since I developed those new allergies. Man, being a human sucks!"
"You'll get used to it."
Am I not used to it now? "It really takes learning about the universe being shared with ancient Altiri aliens to make one really not appreciate anything about Earth anymore."
"I take offense to that. Ancient? Are you calling me old?"
"Er, well... You are three thousand six-hundred sixteen years old. A four digit age should be hard to remember, but..." But it's too incredible for me to forget.
"So you are calling me old!"
Does she not realize the plight of my jokes? Truly, she is really old, but it's not as if I think it's a bad thing. "Stop assuming things. You might be 3,616 years old, but you still don't look older than eighteen or nineteen."
"And you better remember that!"
"I don't get it. What's the big deal with women and their age?"
"You'll understand when you're older Reed."
"Oh ha-ha! I see what you did there. Whatever. I've only got a few minutes now, so it's pointless for me to work on the script."
"So now that's my fault?"
"You were talking about me after all, so..."
"Sorry you didn't get your twenty minutes of work in. Are we about to see another psychotic rage attack?"
"Of course not!" How can she think that? I'm not that sensitive to the UAD. Guess she's not in a joking mood today. "Talking to you counts as keeping my mind engaged anyway, as long as the subject is interesting enough."
"Oh."
I thought I already mentioned as much, but maybe I didn't. "You really are an interesting person Lumina."
"Why, because I'm an alien?"
"Maybe... But there's a lot more to it than that. You're actually your own person. It's not that I thought you weren't, but... I guess seeing you like this just makes me believe in you even more. I can have faith that you are real, because everything you do or say isn't something I can expect; it's not some simulation or some hallucination."
"I'm glad you think that way, but what made you decide to believe in me? You never did find any hard proof."
I know Lumina is happier with my decision, but I also know why she's asking. She wants to know the reason why I've chosen to embrace all of this, instead of tossing it aside like I was going to on day one. "Well, let's just say for now, hypothetically, that I am insane."
"Okay..."
"I find it far too difficult to believe that the human mind would be capable, even with my special imagination, to create an entire dynamic person out of some wild hallucination, to give me all of those crazy dreams and montrums that didn't make sense to me at the time, or to show me several more Altiri people with their own distinct personalities. Not to mention that this is no longer a forced meet-up between us. I could literally just shut all of this down and never see you again, if I really wanted to. I don't think hallucinations give us that kind of choice to make." Lumina is her own person. She's helped me and stayed friends with me time and time again, but not because some mysterious force in the world was making her do it. That fight we both almost had about mutual hatred for heathens showed me that Lumina was actually willing to abandon me if I didn't at least agree so some things. She has perfect freedom of her soul, as do I. Imaginary people don't have that; they run on a script.
"Are you maybe thinking about shutting it all down?"
"Hell no! You are my new friend now Lumina..." Ever since this started, she's been on my mind, Lumina or the crazy things that she told me. At first, I was only curious. But now, I want her here with me. I want her around me at all times. I've gotten used to her presence, and shutting it all down now accomplishes nothing. "Actually, it's been more than a month now since we met. I think that technically makes us best friends now. And Lumina? As your best friend, I want you to know that I would never-ever abandon you! I wouldn't do that for anybody I feel that way for, not in a million years! So there's no need to worry about stuff like that. You're stuck with me, whether I'm insane or not. That's what I've decided."
"Reed..." It threw me out of my self-inflicted trance of words, but I heard Lumina sniffle a bit, leading me to believe that she was suddenly crying a little. "I... I'm so happy that you feel that way about me."
Rubbing the back of my head like it was all no big deal, I realized only now what I was saying. I meant every word, but I wasn't expecting a speech like that to flood through the gates of my heart. I've really never had a best-friend like her before, but from media and other things, I had a good sense for what a great friend should be like. I can't be embarrassed to call her my friend in any circumstance, because Lumina really is that awesome! "See? I told you so. People don't have to be space aliens or go through incredible circumstances to be friends to each other. We just need to try, and really mean it, together. If only everyone else had that mentality, I could have more friends, and the Altiri could purge everyone."
"Well, two thousand people at the most... But a lot of humans are sick in the head Reed. I already know that you aren't crazy or insane. You're a good person, and something big happened to you."
"You happened to me Lumina, and I'm not at all upset that it happened either. I think... I like things better this way." Yeah, keeping Lumina connected to me more often really has been paying off. I've been talking with her about random things for a month now, and I'm having more fun hanging out with her than with anyone else, despite the extra effort I put in with the other humans... But she just gets it or something.
Before I could continue my thought process, the school bells rang, signaling that it was time for me to go to my final class of the day. "And now I have to go to music class."
"Maybe you could sing a song?"
Lumina has the jokes today. "I don't sing."
"Not even for me? You made me sing earlier when I didn't want to."
Damn! I can't underestimate her for a single second! She got me! I can't say or do anything to get out of this situation either. I really can't sing. I've tried, and when I did, I was surprised the mirror didn't shatter right in front of me. "Whatever. I only play instruments, and not well when I do."
"Now that I think about it, I've never seen you too often in your music class before, other than that one time."
"Well today you can have all the special privileges. Spy on anybody you want through my eyes."
"You make it sound so creepy."
"That's because it is." Lumina still doesn't exactly get the whole privacy thing, but she grew up in another world, so I'm just ignoring it for now. Altiri people are always so direct and assertive; maybe that's why they don't see anything wrong with spying. Still, if everybody on Earth is being watched by Altiri clairvoyants anyway, does the concept of privacy from them even matter anymore?