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<12/09/2011 - 07:41 | Enroute, Marietta, GA, USA>
Sitting in any random seat of the school bus, I once again wondered to myself what made me or my life so different from the normal people around me. My typical pessimism caught up to me again despite all the fun I've had recently with Lumina, and it wasn't hard to imagine why.
Whether I am in class, on a bus, or out and about in public, the countless people around me live entirely different lives than I do. The boys talk about sports, cute girls, and memes, while the girls talk about fashion, cute boys, and various cultures. Then, there's me.
I've been getting bored of humans lately because of what topics I want to talk about or discuss. Distant star systems, alien civilization possibilities, beyond physical worlds, time travel, psychic phenomena, quantum theory, psychology; pretty much anything and everything I find weird yet cool. I've gotten used to talking about these topics with Lumina, so much that we still have not run out of things to talk about. The worst aspect of it is, if I try to bring up any of these various topics with others, the conversations won't last long. I've become a near expert in subjects that I can't fully disclose among other humans, not without blowing my own secret out of hiding. This is reason one – why I don't have any friends.
Reason number two should be straight forward from there; I'm the only kid I know who maintains an otherworldly telepathic connection to a woman on the far side of the distant universe. Most who hear that for the first time would find it too weird or shocking - I'm sure, but not me. I find our unique situation amazing, romantic even. Lumina and I are the most important people to each other, so all of that extra detail of clutter matters not to us.
The problem is, I've yet to be given a situation or opportunity to prove Lumina's existence to anybody other than myself. I already know she exists, but the people around me don't know it themselves. How can I prove it to them? How can I present some kind of concrete proof that the Altiri are actually real people with the ability to communicate with us, with the ability to send mind altering purge signals to our brains? As unique as our situation is, this isn't like some kind of awesome sci-fi movie, where a magic glowing gem falls from the sky, or where I develop visually apparent super powers. The reality is, I'm the only one on Earth who can hear Lumina, who can feel her presence, and who can telepathically connect with her. To anyone other than myself looking into this situation, the easiest false conclusion to jump to about us is: I've made up a girlfriend to keep me company in this lonely world.
None of that is true; Lumina and I are very much alive and real. But when it comes to everybody else around me, for every person who is totally unaware of our situation, how would I ever go about convincing them of this fact? The short answer is, I can't. That is the reason why I currently have no other friends in my life besides Lumina. I'm a human being like the billions all around me, yet I feel like the alien in this situation.
With this in mind, it was no mystery as to why I wasn't entirely myself this morning. I was quite sad for myself, bringing into focus my horrifying reality of isolation. Days ago, I didn't give a rat's ass if I was going to be alone with the exception of Lumina's presence. Now I wonder if all that rhetoric was just straightforward denial. Maybe humans simply weren't designed not to have any human friends. Regardless of that truth, I've been left feeling hopeless on this front, stuck in a never-ending battle that I cannot win.
However, despite all of my futile thoughts, the opportunity to meet new people lurked in the shadows around me, escaping my crystal clear vision. The first instance of such opportunity took form in the girl sitting right beside me on the bus this morning. She wasn't at all like anyone I was ever expecting; I had not even paid her any attention until now, when that potent energy of hers became that which I envied most.
"Come here you!" The stranger beside me sat up on her knees, entirely facing the rear seats behind her, reaching over with her arms to fool around with one of the other female friends she had, essentially horseplay.
Through their shared laughter, I sat mesmerized by the next comparison to that which I've been longing for. Any connection I could form, any bond I could mend where I too could have a little fun with someone else became the forefront of my desires. I was never expecting the woman to have so much physical energy ready to burn, but I felt comfortable near her all the same.
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All was fine and well, until her balance slipped, landing her clawing hands to the side of my ribcage. Previously engaged in a tickle torture fight with her other friend, I was accidentally and unexpectedly tickled by this crazy powerhouse of fun. As embarrassing as it was, I couldn't react in any other way but to squirm and yelp to laughter.
I covered my mouth in shame, but she noticed all too quickly how I reacted to it, giving me a brief sadistic stare of ideas. "What was that?! This man's ticklish too!"
Those weren't the words I wanted to hear on a quiet bus ride to school. I should have grown out of being ticklish a long time ago, but I guess I haven't.
"I'm Nae. What be'est your title?"
She can't be serious, right? No, of course not. Nobody talks like that while meaning to. Finally locking eyes with the dark skin woman before me, I introduced myself quietly. "I'm Reed."
"I'm going to call you Doif!"
"Please don't call me that."
"You play video games, right?"
"I—" I nearly stumbled on my own words anyway, unsure if Nae really asked me the simple question. It almost sounded like she played them herself, and was asking me about my preferences for comparison. I found it fairly unbelievable, since most girls I know don't even touch video game consoles. Before I could give a straight answer though, Nae suddenly became distracted again by a pair of hands reaching over the top seat separate, maneuvering to tickle her armpit. With the reaction speed I see in birds turning their heads, Nae reached back herself to return the favor, both of them laughing to get back at each other.
I was still fairly surprised by the person in front of me. I never expected to come across somebody so loud and outgoing. Most of the time, people of this nature scare me away. Nae had a few interesting traits about her that I was able to immediately identify.
The first of which was a resounding wild ADHD running wild and unchecked. All of the signs of such behavior were right there in the open, and I recognized every hint of the quality from living with an ADHD brother myself. Ivan has been that way for the longest time, allowing any little distraction, internal or external, to take priority of any current thought or action. It made him quite annoying, sometimes funny; I've long since gotten used to it all. It was still something else to see those same qualities present in someone else.
At the same time, it quickly added a layer of difficulty in talking to her about anything. It's nearly impossible to say anything with meaning to a girl actively engaged in rough horseplay, but I was already bored and desperate. The idea that somebody took an interest in video games at all was a tantalizing topic to me, since nobody else I knew cared enough to bring it up in conversation, not even Lumina. "Yeah, I play a few actually."
To utter amazement, Nae stopped everything she was doing, just to turn around and talk to me more about it; her ability to abruptly switch focus astonishing. "Really? Which ones?"
Being put on the spot, it took me a few seconds to think of all the recent games I've played. I started listing off titles at random, until Nae interrupted me in excitement to commemorate my shared tastes on several titles. She played a mixed variety of genres, but our most prominent styles to enjoy seemed to be action and first-person-shooters.
As much as I tried to stay engaged in the conversation, Nae spoke three times as often as I did with virtually no effort at all. She was obviously happy to have something in common with someone else when it came to certain hobbies, and she next asked me what books I was into. "What about books? You read, right? Your name is Reed."
I thought my name was Doif, but whatever. "I've been finishing up on Breaking Dawn, but I got into this other book recently called City of Bones."
"No way! You read City of Bones too?" Before giving me the chance to answer, Nae pulled up her unzipped backpack, lifting the same book out of her belongings. Sure enough, it was the same book and book cover I recognized.
"Cool." I didn't give my voice too much enthusiasm, mostly because I was still technically waking up from my groggy morning sleepiness.
As soon as Nae found out I was into the same general stuff as her, she went on talking about related content without even stopping to breathe. I found such an ability impressive in itself, and the term motor mouth came to mind from other memories. I let Nae ramble on and on however. Since I had some interest in what she was saying herself, I didn't mind her talkative attitude one bit; I welcomed it. The ride to school suddenly became the most relaxing moment of the day, and by the end of it, I realized I finally had someone cool I could sit next to on the bus.
In a fleeting moment of randomness, the opportunity to generate a new friendship with someone reached me at last. Even when it was too early to call, this felt nice after having spent so much time not talking to any human on a real or personal level. In all, I could look forward to what would come of this moment later. There's only one concern that bothers me...
She insists on calling me Doif!