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<01/04/2011 - 16:04 | 1010 Link Street, Marietta, GA, USA>
Each time I reach the front doorstep of my home, I feel so much more at ease and relaxed than when I'm at school. It's been an especially long day as well with all the conversation I've had again with Lumina. It's not a bad day, just a long one. That's why I was ready to welcome the peace and calming atmosphere of the place I could be myself the most.
"I don't give a fuck who does it! No one touches the laundry room anymore! Everyone do your own load of laundry!"
Or not. Just like that, the peace I thought I was returning to turned out to be a blazing hell of anger and vile yelling from the man we all expected it from. I didn't even get to walk inside before hearing another one of his tirades. I could tell by the context that Peterson was mad that somebody misplaced or improperly dried his laundry. I don't touch that idiot's stuff, but I already know he's going to yell at me and blame me for something I wasn't part of. The silent dread whipped up a storm of stress inside me like no other, and the only way I could deal with it was to associate this sensation with the hatred I have for heathens, heathens such as himself.
"Guess you're back in paradise." Even Lumina sees all that is wrong with this picture. Peterson looks so much like an asshole right now, not realizing that I have an invisible private guest over as usual. I don't tell him or my mom about Lumina, or even that I have such a friend, and I shouldn't have to explain why.
But I for one had a better than average day, my mood on such a high hill, that I needed to defend that status as much as possible. "I'm not dealing with this shit right now."
"Good! He's home! Do the trash Reed!"
He already knows where I've been all day, knows that I can't possibly participate in chores when I'm at school, and yet he still yells and screams at me for the messes that don't get cleaned, messes that are usually caused by him. It's why I've become more lax on chores lately, letting trash pile up on purpose, only because instead of being asked to take it out, I get screamed at when it's physically impossible for me to take care of it while I'm at school or out on a walk. If Peterson wants to yell at me and treat me like I'm his bitch, then I won't do any chores at all.
I've gained a little more courage to stand up for myself to this dangerous heathen lately, but not too much. I nodded my head towards my room as I began walking towards the connected hallway. I wanted to throw every curse word I knew at this man for how he was talking to me. But instead, all I could say was, "I'll do it later." After all, the chores aren't going anywhere, and they are not going to get up and walk away. It makes no difference if I do them ten minutes from now or four hours from now. "Fucking loser." It amazed me even more that he could behave like this right in front of my mother, who was standing with her eyes down in the living room, ignoring me somewhat.
"Screw this guy Reed. I won't put up with heathens like that trying to control your life." I figured Lumina would try standing up for me by now. Our agreement was to not get too worked up by nearby heathens, until they start affecting me directly in some way. Between me and Peterson, that's on a daily basis.
The problem is, he's stuck in the same roof with me, and I can't get him to leave. "I won't either, but my mother is married to that stupid asshole." I finally made it to my room, the one and only sole paradise that I have, and now more private than ever since this new house has an extra bedroom that my brother Ivan is using. Finally, I can have the true serenity of privacy and isolation. "My own room, the safest place on Earth."
Lumina took in the sights and quiet noise of the room as I did, trying to match her moods with mine. "It does feel homey. And you've done well to keep it clean so far."
I usually allow clutter to fill the space of my room, and Ivan is much worse than I am about it. It's normally not a problem, aside from the usual "Clean your room!" I get from mom, but things have slowly changed in the last month. "I don't really want those two yelling at me over the same stuff every day. Besides, even you were bothered by the mess earlier."
"Sorry. I just don't like the clutter. It bothers me."
It's weird the way this works. I'm essentially forced into sharing a room with Lumina, telepathically speaking. Since she can see and hear the space around me, having a messy room is something she has to put up with. But a few days ago, she stopped putting up with it and begged me to pick up after myself more. If it came from Peterson or my mom, I wouldn't have bothered. But coming from Lumina, I figured I owed her at least that much. "Yes, well if you were looking for some peace of mind, you best look elsewhere." I could hear the idiot still yelling in the kitchen, banging cabinets shut just because an itty-bitty stain remained on his work outfit. I want to ignore it, but I have to go right back out there again. "I guess hold your breath. I have to go and get more water." The only source of pure water or bottled water is in the kitchen pantry, right where the villain resides.
Marching right into the deepest depths of this evil lair taken over by a demon, I tried to avoid eye contact while I went for the water. Of course, that didn't work, since Peterson started addressing me, while Ivan was already hiding safe in his room.
"If these chores don't get done each day before I get home, I'm taking away everyone's electronics!"
"Fuck you heathen! Just grab a knife or something. I'll show you how to carve his fucking head off!" I knew Lumina would lose her temper at this point, but I ignored her. I hate having to interact with someone so belligerent, but I had to at least say one thing, since his own declaration is by definition totally impossible and unfair.
"You realize that you get home before me and Ivan do, right?" It's true. Sometimes, Peterson gets home later from his crappy chef job; sometimes, he gets home earlier. It isn't fair to penalize someone for not cleaning the mess of others when they are not home to do so in the first place. If I can't at least defend that much, then he really does deserve to just drop dead.
"Then you have to do them in the morning!"
"In the morning?" I repeated sarcastically. "When there is no time to do anything but eat and go to school?" It's not even an argument. The only available time I have to do any chores is after I get home from school, period! And I've delayed doing them more often because I don't respect him one bit.
"Don't fucking talk back to me!" At last, I must have triggered Peterson's full nerves, as he gave me a death stare that would make a twenty year old kid cry. Even I was a bit too stunned to say anything else, due to the raw insanity I'm being forced to deal with.
"Stooooop!" I turned around, seeing my upset mother screaming at Peterson. At last, she's finally taking my side for once. Even she knows when things are going way too far. I'm literally being bullied and disrespected by this total loser, but she can't defend him when his threats are both unfair and nonsensical. I stayed out of it now, knowing how loud the noise level was about to get, and I started to quietly retreat back to my room with a bottle in my hands.
The brute then threw his hands up, tensing them like an ogre trying to free his arms from some kinds of restraints and howling, "Raaaagh! Your kids are fucking lazy!" He then slapped a shot glass from the counter, causing it to fly in the direction of the side wall, shattering to cause another small mess. But I was finally out of range to be part of it anymore. The whole episode put me in such a tense mood that I could no longer concentrate on the thought of doing more homework as I planned to before.
"Says the moron who can't even clean up after himself. Fuck you heathen! I'll kill you!" I felt Lumina's movements, and heard the sheathing of a powerful sword at her side. I couldn't see it from her eyes directly, but I knew this moment put Lumina into an unneeded frenzy of hatred. Quite frankly, I don't blame her for feeling that way now. If she really were here with me in person, she would murder him on the spot just for that outburst alone. And if that did happen, I wouldn't feel an ounce of remorse.
"Just relax Lumina. That fat sack of shit isn't even worth the brain stroke, but I might just think about poisoning his next drink with arsenic."
"Why stop there? I'd bash his fucking skull in, rip his balls off with the tongs, and shove them back down his throat!"
"Haha-ha." I could imagine her doing something that crazy. I'm not put off by her intense desire to kill people like that anymore. When it comes to those kinds of heathens, this world really is better off with their death. I would like to see Lumina get something back from the man who took her past away from her. Right now, the thought of Peterson being hurt or killed dialed away some of my own tensions.
"Is that funny to you?"
"Yes actually. I find that kind of graphic detail pleasing, especially when it's coming from you, and when it's directed against him." If Peterson were dead or gone, I would never have to deal with that guy ever again. I could live in a much more peaceful environment.
"That man is almost just as bad as Legasso himself. That heathen needs to be erased from existence of this world, before he goes out to kill millions of more people."
"Or before he kills me... No that would never happen. I would never let it happen. He would be in pieces before ever laying a finger on me." I'm not sure what to expect anymore. Peterson's aggression and hostility really are the highest I've seen out of every other heathen in my own school, which means he may grow up to be a murderer. But I won't let him touch me. If I kill him in self-defense, it will be justified.
"Yeah, except that sack of crap is four times your size."
Don't get me all worked up and then tell me I'm too weak to handle this! "Then teach me how to fight. You're the one with expert military training." Lumina is in the Altiri military, and she told me about the drills they run, even when they do not have to. They fight to kill other heathens who may exist in their world by possibility, so she knows how to kick butt doing backflips and stuff only seen in movies. Plus, if I could learn to handle myself from her, it would only further prove her advanced existence to others. I can't think of a better teacher than her. In fact, it was such a good idea, that I sensed the pause of silence, Lumina taking her time to consider the idea.
Stolen novel; please report.
"Actually, that's really not such a bad idea. But you have to be absolutely committed all the time to the training, and remain in peak physical condition."
That could be a problem. By that description alone, I know how often Lumina wants me to train with her. "If my headaches ever go away, I'll look into it. Until then, I'm already scrapped for free time." The headache problem I've been having lately is not really getting better. Any physical task during one is ten times more difficult than it should be, on top of the progress on work I miss from them. I should solve that problem first.
"And what stupid kind of threat was that? 'I'm going to take your electronics away! Memememe!' Fucking prick! Go die in a fire!"
She must really be angry if she can scream that loudly in telepathy. It's official; Lumina hates Peterson even more than I do, which I never thought possible before. "Oh, if only he could hear your voice now." It is a bit pointless to say things to the man who won't hear her.
"So why not get all fired up like I do? You could go in there and show him who's the boss of yourself."
"It's not that I don't want to... It's just that I'm generally a calm person. I can't help it if I'm less prone to act out in anger, since I don't like feeling that way even for a moment. Still, I'll be damned if anyone is touching my electronics over something so stupid! I'd like to see him try too. I've already created a fake replica of my flip phone, and hidden the real phone out of reach." It wasn't hard to decorate a toy cell phone with some paint and stickers. He's not touching my property.
"Huh. Smart and precise."
So she thinks it's a smart idea too? I knew it had to be. Even if I don't really use my phone much anymore due to having no other friends, I still want the thing on me in case. "But that guy will be back at it again, and he can do all the chores by himself after that outburst. I'm just going to hang outside all the time from now on. I've had it with this stupid family."
"Good. Right now, I could use the sound of some chirping birds and a few small rodents."
"The rodents here on Earth don't chirp, last time I checked." I know Lumina isn't entirely caught up on some facts about life down here, but I'll teach her someday.
"Well it would be cool if they did..." < >
"What, the fuck was that?" I know I heard that; a real cow somewhere in Lumina's world. Did she bring one on her ship? I didn't think they had cows up there!
"Hehe," she laughed playfully at my confusion, "Telepathy has a bit more advanced features than I've realized. It turns out you can simulate the sound of other noises through thought projection from imaginative memory, if you invoke it just right. If you can, you can generate all the noise you want."
Incredible! I predicted this was a possible sub-ability of telepathy, but wasn't sure how to prove it. Lumina beat me to it this time. So I can emulate any noise I want from any animal, or even other people? "So if I dant want to stat talkin country like dis, I could just think it? Shooooot! Yut! Yut!"
Lumina started laughing before I could finish, after proving how easily I could talk with a southern-country accent. She was getting herself more into the idea. "Or, or better yet..." < >
Laughing in return from how funny it was to make such noises automatically, I decided to start using my physical voice in between too, absorbing the privacy of my room to her. "That is so cool!"
"What is son?" Before I understood what just happened, my mother opened the door to my room without knocking, only after overhearing the fun I was starting to have.
All I could do was just stare at her with raw humiliation, and my mom started back at me with confusion. I didn't think she would stand that close to my room and overhear anything I said. I once again paid the price of not sticking to only using telepathy exclusively. Now, the only thing I could do was to escape from the house and really be alone in my own space. "Nothing mom. I'm going outside for a walk."
After I cleared myself of most suspicion, which wasn't really lasting since she didn't catch on too well, I gave myself the time and preparation to spend time outdoors with Lumina. My earlier mood started to return to me, replacing the bad moments of today with the better ones, while I stood on the edge of the road in a very slow walk. And after I just learned how this telepathy works, boy did I have some fun with it.
"< >"
"Really? A NASA space relay?"
"What's wrong with that? I thought it would fit the moment." I could change my voice, add filters, and emulate any noise that I could imagine. If I could imagine what sound or filter I wanted to have in a telepathic projection, and concentrate on that before anything else, it will project that way.
"I guess it is funny though..." < >
"Sto-hop!" I pleaded with Lumina while laughing to be less random doing that, only because it caught me off guard. Instead, Lumina laughed right alongside me, letting this moment sink in... Spending time with her is so much more relaxing and fun than sitting at home all day.
But it was still obvious we were running out of things to talk about. So, I started rummaging around and pulling things out of my school backpack, which I brought with me for any particular purpose. When I found it, out came the specially marked notebook I began flipping through. "Oooh, what is all that?"
"It's my journal. I've been writing in it recently. Basically, I'm using this to log everything that's ever happened to me, everything since the purge anyway." I've only now begun the journal though. I only started this thing a week ago, building all before today from raw memory, since I was not interested before that.
"So, it's all about the Altiri and all of that stuff?"
"Yeah. It's all about the secrets and everything I've learned." There's so much information to keep up with, that I decided this was the way to go, a memento to house all of the crazy things that have been happening to me lately. I don't let anyone read it, but I suppose Lumina can, since she's the only other person part of this secret.
"So then it's more like a diary?"
I should have never given her the chance to make fun of me again. "No, that's something more for girls."
"I think it's the same thing... Well, I guess it's a journal if it's more focused on events. Diaries focus more on personal emotion within each moment."
So now she's being serious about this? "What if it starts on events, but slowly turns into more personal emotions about things? It's really kind of both."
"I'll just call it a diary. You like being all girly anyway, right?"
I never can tell why Lumina picks on me a little for being girlish, despite wanting me to stray from heathenism. Still, she has a point. "Guess that joke is on me then."
"Seriously though, you should be very careful about having that thing out in public. Just don't let anybody read it, unless it's me."
"Well it's safer on me than it is in my room, at least until I find it a hiding spot." This is the very reason I brought my backpack outside with me, just to ensure none of my family finds this notebook or anything else related to my secret life.
"Makes sense... Can I read it?"
"Sure."
"Wait, really?"
She must have thought this was the type of diary, I mean journal - filled with hot and embarrassing dark secrets that I wouldn't even want Lumina to know about. Too bad for her, since those thoughts don't really exist in high volume, and I can hide stuff better these days by controlling what I project and what I don't project. "Diaries are supposed to have embarrassing feelings about other people within them. But my notebook is nothing more than my total recollection and thoughts on everything that's happened up to this point. Each day is different, so the direction it goes can change often. It's not actually embarrassing stuff at all. My words don't really capture all of it, but you were here with me for most of what I've jotted down anyway."
"Yeah, I know. But I still want to see what you think about certain things."
It's weird yet comforting to me that she actually wants to dig deep into my own thoughts and logic behind everything that's ever happened... It's like, she cares. Yeah, that's what it is. The people at my school barely get beyond any shallow or empty conversation of small talk, but me and Lumina can sink our thoughts deep into anything, including each other.
"Okay." If she wants to read this, she can. I won't stop her from hearing my inner most thoughts about everything I feel regarding the whole Altiri situation and other aspects of my life.
Before I let her read anything though, Lumina let me remember one more important factor to all of this. "I'm so glad that we're good friends Reed. It really makes me happy inside."
In unison, I smiled with her, absorbing the same feeling from within. "Our friendship makes us both happy Lumina. That won't change either. I won't ever just drop all of this away and stop talking to you." Not that the context is the same, but I know some people who do just that to others; they call it ghosting, which is totally despicable. "You're my only best friend now, and I don't think anyone else in the entire universe can understand what my life is really like right now, not like you do. And trust me, I've tried to get some humans to understand the personal stuff about me, minus the Altiri business. But they just don't get it, or they don't care." It's really been the story of my whole life. People don't pay me enough attention to encourage the way I am, or to embrace the person I'm becoming each day. It makes me feel so worthless and insignificant. But Lumina, she does acknowledge my feelings, unlike nobody I've ever met before.
"Humans can be horrible people."
Is it really humans though? I wonder if there is another reason, but I can't think of any now. "Doesn't that mean the Altiri hate every single human?" They must think we are true monsters.
"No, the general disposition if focused on heathens, or heathen influences on other people and the society. It's never really improved too well over time. For some, there are moments where we don't hate certain humans, but rather we hate what they do."
"Yeah, I figured that might be true."
"That's why you also have to watch out for other girls around you who constantly hang out with heathens. It means they are being influenced by their behaviors too."
"So, does that mean that women can become heathens too?"
"I argue that no woman is ever a heathen by default, but the influence can get to just about any person. Women can become heathens too, adding more toxicity to the culture. In your world, it's a given."
She makes it sound like I live in hell. "If what you're saying is true, then it's even worse than I thought."
"Sadly."
All of this would have made me too upset to stay motivated for the day. It's not the kind of news I can just ignore and brush off, but even if it's just for a moment, I want to pretend like none of that horrible stuff exists. If I do, it only leaves two important people behind; myself, and Lumina. That realization alone put a smirk back on my face. "Well, at least I have you Lumina."
"See? It's not all bad."
I huffed trying not to chuckle, thrilled that even she can find the optimism in this horrible world. As long as I keep staying connected more often to Lumina, I think everything will be okay. "In any case, I have to go get my homework done and shower. That's going to take up the rest of the night. You can either hang up now, or phase the connection until I call you for dinner." I'll let her taste the chicken tonight; maybe she will enjoy the flavor this time.
"Okay."
"And no more phasing in at random."
"Okay." She said it again with no difference from before.
"I mean it Lumina. I only let you get away with that incident once."
"How was I supposed to know you were in the shower at that moment?"
"Well, that's why I have that new rule." She should know. I had a talk with Lumina the other day about the importance of privacy, especially when we're phasing the connection in and out. If she phases in at random, I could be doing absolutely anything, and until the sensory sharing of the connection is restored, she won't know what I'm doing ahead of time. It's the reason she unexpectedly phased in on me showing. It wasn't too fun for me, since Lumina basically saw my entire frontal body while I was scrubbing away. That surprise was too close of a heart attack for me, but I remained calm afterwards since of all people, I trust Lumina the most.
Still, the moment put some new fears into me, such as the possibility that I might be doing some more private embarrassing things only to be caught by her, dare I never think about it aloud. It's only fair that she learns how privacy works between us.
"Fine... See you soon Reed."
"And you too Lumina."