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<11/01/2010 - 14:20 | Saffrin Middle School (Music), Austell, GA, USA>
Upon entering music class today, there were three aspects that were different from my usual attendance here. The first aspect was that our normal teacher, Ms. Patterna, had been replaced today by a substitute, an older man with a scruffy peach fuzz beard, Mr. Roger. I recognized him slightly as he was actually a teacher here already for a different class, one for economics or something. The second aspect of difference was my general focus about the room. Carrying Lumina in tow, I had no choice by to divide my attention without making it obvious to anyone around me, and that brought me to aspect number three.
My seating arrangement was altered too. I have already been sitting away from Malica in the first place, up until math today. Laura was also part of this class, even though she and I didn't talk enough to be real friends. I sat in a new seat away from both of them, not because I felt negativity towards them, but because I knew how difficult it could be to hide my latest secret. I have already been distant and spacy today. The weirder I act, the worse it will be. So, I sat a little closer to some other random chick I knew nothing about. As soon as class began to start, I initiated my usual routine of pretending to pay attention to some boring lesson while putting my true focus into my thought projections again.
"Okay, so out of everything I've learned so far, how much left is there for me to learn?"
"In a single day, not much. There are other things to talk about that would likely require a full day's length of explanation."
Full days more of explaining? This can't be! How is it physically possible for a separate part of myself to rapid fire so many crazy details about some other world and an alien race so easily and endlessly? There has to be a limit to this! I'm barely keeping up with everything I've learned so far!
"But there is plenty to learn about the Unity. We are not some made up screen of imaginations like you think we are..." Lumina paused, letting her voice trail into a softer apologetic sadness. "But I'm sorry I didn't notice your feeling earlier."
"What do you mean?" What is she sorry about?
"I'm talking about the way I introduced myself earlier, about the way that we met... I should have assumed earlier that you would not have believed me. But when the purge finally activated and finished, I just got so excited and carried away. You refusing to believe in our existence really shouldn't have surprised me at all, but it kind of did. And that's my fault."
Is that what's bugging her so much? Get real Lumina! You should have known I wasn't going to believe such wild stories... But now that she's apologized for terrifying me earlier, I can't really hold it against her if her intentions are as true as she says. It's the most realistic imaginary acquaintance I've ever had before. Her emotions are so lifelike, her responses too genuine and real to be normal. It's been throwing me off for hours now. "Don't worry about that for now. Just answer my question, about the purge."
"You really want to learn more?"
"I asked didn't I? Tell me everything about the role of a purge. No, tell me more about my role in all of this." I already remembered enough about the properties of a purge. Me being purged isn't what's important. The reason for it happening in the first place is what I should be focused on. I also paid attention to more growing inconsistencies, though sure enough to have them all answered somehow. "I thought that the Altiri hated all men. So why am I suddenly the first to be purged?"
"Because you are different to others."
"Bullshit! I'm still a dude, am I not?" Her flattery is disgusting. I'm no more special than that other guy, and if all Altiri hate men from their own trauma, there is zero reason why I would be an exception to the rule.
"That's not what I meant," she argued nervously.
"Whatever," I nodded. "I just don't see the significance of myself in the picture here."
"What do you have to complain about Reed? Take a look around you right now."
Having her wait on me to do it, I decided to simply follow the instructions, turning my head to my left and right, making it appear as natural as possible as my eyes shifted between a chalk board and the substitute instructor, who for whatever reason decided to mix his lesson of musical history with economics. But I focused on the others around me, taking mental note before my face returned to its natural direction again.
"Right now, everybody in your entire school is going about their business, taking notes, cracking jokes, all living their life without a single clue for the rest of the world around them. You've always been able to sense more around you than they have. They're all young right now, but most will never be exposed to the truth that you and I know. Your powers of observation rival that of everyone on top of this."
"Tsk!" "So I'm special now? You know I can't just accept that."
"You're talking to another person using telepathic communication, unbeknownst to everyone else around you! Meanwhile, everybody is bunkered down in their studies, pop culture, and absorbing material that could very well become useless material. Don't you find that amazing?"
So that's it! Lumina doesn't realize the value of the situation like I do. Has her status as an Altiri aggressor group leader gone straight to her head too? "Of course I do Lumina, but you have to understand something. Even if you are real, even if you and I are really using telepathy which is an incredible power in itself, having those abilities does not make me special or above other people. I can't put my own value above those around me like that. Our association with each other does not make me a better or more important person."
For reasons I didn't understand, I could feel and sense Lumina standing tall with her arms folded and a smile across her cheeks. I didn't know what made her so cheery, having expected more of an argument from her.
"You see? That right there is what I'm talking about. Most other males would be so self-absorbed at the very thought of the opportunity of having such an ability."
All this ability has done is annoy me and mess with my head all day long! "Enough of this single importance crap Lumina! I am not some 'center of the universe' person. I don't care what I'm doing now, or if I was the first person to try something new." I tried to cool myself down, since her misinterpretation of my own personal significance pissed me off. I asked her why I was important, and still did I have no answer! It's the one question I can't seem to solve. "I'm just curious is all. I still don't believe anything you've told me is true. I have nothing to go off of!" Everything she says is merely anecdotal.
"I know that Reed." Lumina didn't sound desperate or upset after my tiny rant, and she became quiet after acknowledging how I felt about it all.
It was suddenly too quiet. Seconds passed in silence between us. Even when I asked the same question in another way, I just couldn't get it answered, but it lifted one veil on something else. The reason she purged me, whatever she was planning seems to hinge on whether or not I believe her outrageous stories. And yet, if she knows that her words and weird demonstrations are anecdotal at best, why even bother with them in the first place? I have to know. "So then what was your plan exactly?"
"I... I don't know."
I quickly understood how poor her planning might have been with the exposition of purging me. I could hear the desperation and worry in her voice as she struggled to think on her own actions, but it wasn't good enough for me. "What do you mean, you don't know? Based on what I've heard, you don't just purge people on a whim."
"I just wanted to meet you like this. And then I did, and it was amazing... But I don't know where to go from here. I didn't purge you for any other specific reason Reed. I'm making the rest up as I go, really."
"This is just too much to take in..." I buried my face into my hands, not caring anymore if my expression would disrupt the peace of mind of the others. Is that really the reason I was purged? Lumina, an alien from another world picked me of all people just because she wanted to talk to me? That's what I'm supposed to accept? It translates in another spectrum of me making her up for the sake of having a cool friend, but I couldn't accept this, knowing she is imaginary.
"I can only do what I am capable of to try and prove myself to you, but ultimately, you just have to have some faith in me Reed. I can't physically come down there and haul you around. The only way that we can communicate at all is through telepathy. That's all we have!"
Though her voice was stern, something about her tone annoyed the hell out of me. She wants me to believe her in operation on pure faith without a hint of proof? Is telepathy the only thing we really have? I can't see if others can pick it up due to the nature of the same ability, so it does me no good! "Okay then. Do something to try and convince me. Quit talking to me about all these crackpot stories, and do something! Convince me!"
I can tell my challenge made her tremble a little, as Lumina was now being put on the spot, though I didn't take any of my meaning back. "Okay..." Trying to genuinely think of another way to convince me of her own existence, Lumina stood thinking of something as quick as she could. To my surprise, she actually did attempt something. "Take a look to your left."
Curious to see where she was going with my impossible proposal, I first checked to see that the teacher's eyes were not directly on me, before turning to my side and glancing in the general direction. At the exact same time, I noticed that the noise level in the room significantly increased with many talking amongst themselves while the teacher also had his back turned to write more down on the chalk board, the small break resulting in him writing so much before speaking. As soon as my eyes locked onto one of the faces of many I did not talk to, I heard her stop me.
"There! You see that blond hair girl? You now her?"
"I've seen her before in this class, but I don't talk to her. Never spoke to her, so I don't know her at all." How is this supposed to help prove anything?
"Okay... She has at least one sibling, and babysits on the side for extra cash. She has a boyfriend, but not one she is too serious about."
Her wild observation was too precise, and I stood out of my chair in shock that she would even try to guess something so specific. "What the? How can you even tell?"
"I just know. I've learned to read people really well. I have good observation skills too, though I had more time to put it to practice. One day, you will improve this skill like I have as well."
She could have pulled all of that from anywhere. I glanced around myself in the meantime, making sure I wasn't attracting attention standing up like this, which I wasn't, and the teacher was too busy trying to bring back his own lesson that it bought us more time. "That's not even—"
Cutting me off before I could even try to interject, Lumina solidified her defense with a call to action. "Go talk to her if you don't believe me. Go on! Ask her what her life is like and you will see for yourself. I'll even throw in a bonus hint. This class right here is her only elective, and she has one more honors class."
What is she, crazy? I can't just go up to some girl and ask her all of those personal questions. What if she thinks I'm a creep? What if everyone else laughs at me? "I... I don't know about this."
"What's the matter with you?"
I couldn't answer her right away. I knew what the issue was, but I didn't want to admit it, not even to myself. I felt my heart changing tempo to a quick hard rock solo just at the thought of talking to some random girl I did not know, and I could feel my face burning with my nervous blush. "I just... I'm not good at talking to girls out of the blue." I can't believe I'm saying that to her!
"Reed? I'm disappointed in you, especially because you somehow thought this was a flirting exercise."
What else would it be Lumina? "I can't just go and ask her all of those weird personal questions! She'll think I'm a psycho!"
"Who cares?!"
Lumina put so much volume into her voice that I instinctively jumped, bumping the back of my seat and holding my hands close to my ears. I resisted the urge to cover my ears, since it would have looked too weird. My sudden jolt from the seat was already making me too popular, something I confirmed by hearing Malica's laughter in response to my jitteriness, but I wasn't expecting Lumina to yell back at me so loudly. I didn't think such volume could go that high in telepathy. She was obviously pissed off about something.
"Why would you care what some mundane chick like that thinks of you?"
It was strange hearing that from her. That kind of uncaring attitude, giving zero value to the opinions of all other people around me, especially to those I knew even less was my routine mental behavior. I of all people should have been able to tell myself this before Lumina ever could... She's right. I don't care if that happens. This isn't a flirting exercise. I need to prove Lumina's observation accuracy. So I'll ask those personal questions, for science. "Alright! Fine! Jeeze!" I let her know just how annoying it was to be yelled at like that. I kept myself standing, since I was about to move over to this student to my left, a girl whose name I totally forgot already. By the time I got over there, I managed to sit down, just in time for the instructor to turn around; not because he was finished with the chalk, but because he checked to see if anyone was being disruptive. With me in a seat, he never even noticed I moved.
But the girl beside me glared at me with a worried amount of curiosity. Still, I had to be brave and just ask those questions, no matter how awkward it is. "Excuse me, but I wanted to ask... Do you babysit?"
She had been giving me such a threatening glare of anger, but as soon as she realized what I was trying to ask her, her entire tense body seemed to ease up swiftly. With a soft exhale, she started talking to me about my topic. "Oh, actually I do. But my schedule for that is filled up for this week."
Interesting. She actually does babysit! What else did she say about her? "Okay... How many honors classes do you have?"
Now annoyed at my pestering, she switched the interview back onto me. "Why are you asking me these weird questions?"
"She would have outright denied it if your information was faulty." Lumina had to speak her mind to me, to signify that she did in fact have at least one honors class.
I could barely get a word in edgewise, and the tone she carried with her was just as scary as it was with Lumina. If she were to raise her voice right now, I would be in some real trouble. But I have to keep going. I have to see how spot on Lumina is. "I'm sorry about that..." After a brief pause, I looked her dead in the eyes and went for the final test. "Do you think you can tell me if you are seeing someone right now?"
"Uh oh!"
Before I could figure out what caught Lumina's attention, the girl before me stood up from her seat, taking offense to what I just said, and doing the one thing I didn't want her to do; raise her voice. "What's the matter with you? I'll give you less than a second to go back to your seat. I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last weirdo—"
"Yeah, yeah! I got it already!" I tried walking her off part way to me turning around and bolting to my old seat. The commotion echoed whispers all around the class, while the teacher turned around, uncertain what was happening. But I wasn't fast enough, and he could clearly tell that I was likely the cause of something. I couldn't shake his gaze off of me, nor could I pretend not to hear all of those voices talking about me. It wasn't just the stranger who noticed; the entire class saw! Did they hear her words? I didn't realize how embarrassingly phrased mine were until now! It sounded like I was going to ask her out or something. What's wrong with me?!
"Everyone needs to stay in their seats. You know better Reed."
"You probably could have phrased it better. But at least now you know I was right."
Tensing my nerves from her smartass remark, I prepared my fists of fury, but had nothing to unleash this frustration on. "Shut it Lumina! You're the one who wanted me to say all of that! I can't believe I just embarrassed myself like that!"
"I thought you didn't care what others thought of you."
"Only if I don't care about them first. You have no idea how horrible that was. Everyone thinks I'm a real creep now. Besides, her reactions were probably her response to how awkward I was just now. It proves nothing."
"Fine then. Let's switch targets. Take a look at your teacher instead."
"Who? The substitute?" I'm absolutely not asking him any personal questions. I can't and won't!
"I can tell right now that he..." Lumina took more time to analyze him through my eyes, holding her tongue so that she can more accurately get a read on him. But whatever she was doing to obtain his info, I had no idea what it was. "He has only had sex once in his life, is not currently married, watches videos online at home for fun... And he lives in a very small space with limited access to food and water."
"What the hell? That's just gross!" I sure as hell am not talking to the teacher about anything today. I can feel my face still burning with humiliation. This has to stop now! "I don't want to hear about anyone's personal life anymore. Got it Lumina?"
"What can I say? At least I tried."
"Try some other way." She must know of some tactic she can use to prove her existence to me. Can't she like - control my body or do some special trick here or something?
"I know of no other way Reed. I already told you that I'm new to this situation too. I really am trying my best."
"Convenient," I passionately remarked. "You're new to this, I'm new to this; I guess we'll never know the truth then."
"I told you to have faith in me."
Tired of the effort, I decided to ignore her. The teacher began talking again, going over some part about how economics affected the music industry in Europe. I just decided to tune her out and listen to the boring lecture instead. "... And that is why a command economy only benefited the selected musicians for those instruments. The individual suffered without the notoriety."
Well, this is the same fun as a sleep aid. "Hey Lumina? Want to tell me what your world's economy is like?"
"You got over that quick. Anyway, we don't have an economy here."
"What the f— No economy, ever? No money at all?" I've never even heard of something like that. If they don't have an economic structure, I can't research it out here.
"We don't have any kind of currency. Currency destroys nations from the inside out, creating a divide between wealth."
I'm sure that sounds noble enough, but there are already some holes with that idea. "So what then? Your people go to work without any pay?"
"All of our work is volunteer work. And as far as incentives, we are paid in plenty of water, the very thing we need to survive. Provisions of water are given as handouts, but then it would be below the comfortable maximum we could handle or stock up on. For housing, the people down below build their own houses out of solid ice, and the space is granted to anyone who makes use of it. There is never a severe shortage of essential workers. If we did have a shortage, it would cause problems, causing our own people to die. For others, it's simply something to do to help pass time."
"It doesn't really sound like a lot of fun, but I can't be sure to imagine it properly." She makes it sound like a dreamy world to live in, but I'm beginning to wonder if they even have entertainment of any variety. Having to work for free just to survive is so archaic, yet they have lived that way for 100,000 years. I don't know which system is worse.
"Oh, but it is fun. Plenty of people in the same fields swap shifts all the time to give each other breaks. We get bored so easily these days, so we do all kinds of things. Many of us try to learn and engage in scientific fields to one day improve the lives of others."
"I guess I kind of understand. But tell me about this queen business. You've had the same queen for over a hundred thousand years. How can that possibly be a fair system?"
The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
"We are still allowed to elect a new queen any time we want to, or when something happens to our current queen. The thing is, nobody wants a change in that leadership position. The queen has given us so much and ensured our prosperity through the ages. She's proven her skill well, and has plenty of more to give. She's also never experienced death, not one single time."
I wound up generating more questions than I could ask at a time. The first was how crazy it was that the very first queen they ever had is still the same queen they have now. The second prospect if that both Lumina and the queen have some age on them. Lumina's age is 3,616, but that's only the time since her previous death, having carried over all memories prior to that. It means she is really over 100,000 years old too! And yet she doesn't look older than eighteen, maybe nineteen. The third prospect was what Lumina just told me, something I didn't quite understand. "What do you mean by one single time?"
"What I mean is, she's literally the only Altiri in our world who has not died one single time. She's never been resurrected before, and so her age count has not been reset like mine has. She doesn't look like she is older than forty."
"Forty huh? Is it even possible for the Altiri to age into death, even if it takes an eternity?"
"I don't know. But if something ever did happen to our queen, it would be bad. She's been such an effective leader all this time. A change in leadership now would panic our whole world."
It's all factored on a system with less freedom, and yet they somehow have more freedom than me... Maybe it's because their world is so peaceful that they can live in such harmony, but I cannot be certain. "If you say so." I didn't know what else to say, so I just quit talking, leaning back in my own chair to try and relax a little. Physically, I was fine. But mentally, I was absolutely exhausted. Even with the time we had left in class, I really needed another break after everything I've been hearing today. Luckily, class will get off soon enough, and I can just go home.
I decided to let Lumina know my plan, to try focusing on class for now, wait until I get home, and then talk to her again. I didn't tell her anything about how I really felt about her; that I still thought she was a fake person that just needed to fade back into the nebula of my own hidden fantasies. Because of her trust in me, she agreed, giving me a small duration of peace and quiet until that moment.
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<11/01/2010 - 16:11 | 559 Motion Street, Austell, GA, USA>
After busting my way through the front door of the apartment entrance, I let my backpack plop onto the floor from my shoulder, letting out a rugged sigh to complain how heavy that thing was without saying so. Not long after, I took off my shoes and leaned my back onto the edge of the couch, being careful not to lie down on the soft and fluffy sofa. I knew that if I were to rest my back now, I'd never get back up from it.
Of course, everybody else was home too, all getting here before me simply by the random coincidence that is our time between home, work, or school. My brother was already stuck in his own room doing whatever. Since he is in third grade, I cared not for what he was up to. I could tell that my mother was home too, given her presence in the dining room connecting the living room without any walls.
I tried to take it easy for at least a few seconds, pushing off everything else for later. I don't know why, but I'm way more exhausted than usual. It felt like I have not slept in a while even though it was another average day, aside from the hallucination, crazy stories about mass destruction and genocide, and some cynicism from an uninvited guest who won't leave. It wasn't my body that was tired; it was my mind. I was so exhausted by now that the average amount of thoughts I was having had dropped from 100 per second to about fifty, with most of them being subconscious processes anyway. Even so, I still had plenty of unexplained energy to boot.
As much as I wanted to rest my thoughts, I knew what was coming next from the sound of footsteps beside me. "You're home! How was your day at school?"
Mom. She asks me that question every single day that I come home from school, and I always give her the same answer, even when the truth differs a little. She never leaves me alone about it. I know it's just something moms do, but it gets annoying after the 100th time. Unless I specifically say otherwise or break into a rant about how differently my day was, I don't want to report any difference in my school day. She knows this, but still asks me every time anyway. As a result, I didn't bother trying to be honest with her. So I pulled myself off the sofa's edge, and picked up my bag to get ready for the second part of my school day that equally sucks. "Enlightening." Not that my lazy response was much of a lie, but it was still an evasion of truth. I didn't want to tell mom or dad about what happened to me today, mainly because I was still convinced this would all be over by tomorrow, with everything returning to normal.
Like I said before, once tomorrow morning comes, Lumina cannot show up on her own. If she does, she invalidates herself as a real person without fail. Besides, I was going to be busy anyway, and her usual snoopy rhetoric was not something I was interested in anymore. So, off to my room I went.
"Make sure you finish all your homework." That was all she said to me as I walked off, dismissing my brief presence there like it was nothing. I personally didn't mind this, since I enjoyed spending some time alone when I was indoors. However...
"'Finish all your homework?' That's all? I guess a few details did change."
"What are you so hurt about?" I replied, certain Lumina was still lingering around before she revealed her voice to me. "I always have stupid homework; that's what school gives onto me these days."
"Still..." I could tell why Lumina sounded worried about that little interaction. My mom and I used to be a lot closer than we are now, but things changed over time.
After setting my bag down beside my bedroom door, I went back to the kitchen for a bottle of water. When I did enter the kitchen, my path was blocked by a more annoying obstacle, a tall living breathing man in his upper thirties. His eyes locked onto me, but I avoided direct eye contact since I wasn't here for him, just the water.
"Who the hell is that guy?"
I expected her to ask, but her tone was clearly aggravated and startled at the same time. Without opening my mouth and to wait on this man to step aside for my path to the water pantry to be open, I explained the situation to her, reminding Lumina that she wasn't here for some of the additional hell I had to endure, prior to the purge. "Lumina? Meet Peterson, my step dad. Word of warning, he's kind of a dick." I had every right to mean what I said, because in about ten seconds from now, I knew what the man was about to say.
But Lumina reacted first, backing up a few steps with an expression of terror. I couldn't see it, but I did sense something was wrong immediately when Lumina changed her balance while her slow but certain pulse began to elevate a little. "No! Oh fuck no! This isn't going to work!"
I took her words to mean that she already noticed. I wondered how quickly she could catch on before Peterson ousts himself with that mouth and behavior of his. I thought someone who is a man hater would catch on quickly. She says she hates those who act masculine, but I think the simplicity of the situation applies simply to men who are the meanest people in the world. "I can tell you don't like him very much. Well that makes two of us. Better get used to it though." In the middle of my speech to Lumina, I emptied the cap on my water to start sipping down, while I noticed from peripheral view Peterson munching on a doughnut, spreading crumbs to the ground and around his thin beard.
But it was Lumina who failed to keep her cool. Her entire body began trembling, her stance shifting to fight mode with her eyes focused with the intensity of lasers. "If he tries anything..."
What kind of madman does Lumina take him for? "Jesus! He's not abusive or anything. Calm down."
But instead of taking my advance, Lumina grinded her teeth together, forcing me to feel the weight of her bones against mine. At last, the anger and aggression rushing through her veins began to transfer to my body as well, though in a very limited state. I can't describe how it was possible, but I could feel, identify, and tap right into Lumina's own aggression, her emotion transferred to me because of the telepathy. Only, I was not consumed by such rage. All I did was identify with it and shrug it off. "Look at him," she hissed. "The way he walks, the way he behaves..."
I wanted to reassure Lumina that she was making a big deal out of nothing, probably comparing personality traits between Legasso and Peterson. What was the term she used for that? Heathens! That's the one. Anyway, Peterson did something before I could get a word to her, fulfilling my earlier expectations just upon seeing me for ten seconds.
The man sped walk all the way over to the sink with a stern growling look on his face, glared into the abyss of disgusting pots and pans that he himself generated from earlier cooking, and let it all out once more with a seething screaming rage. "Is somebody going to get over here and do these dishes?!"
My whole body sunk slightly. The man was still highly intimidating, especially with that threatening voice. One thing I could never handle was somebody yelling at that volume, especially when directed at me. Peterson said somebody, but he really meant me without being direct about it. Why such behavior? Because in his eyes, I'm just a slave, a personal servant to clean up after his messes, to take blame for his shortcomings, and my mother only stepped in half the time. The reason? Similar to what most parents adopt as acceptable punishment just to teach their kids how to do chores.
Honestly, I didn't mind chores enough to refuse doing the housework. But lately, I've been busier with more homework, which means performing house chores automatically was falling out of my own personal range of conformability. So, mom or Peterson would ask, and I would oblige. Except, Peterson didn't normally ask anyone to do anything for him. He would instead scream at everyone, berate or belittle everyone, or talk down to everyone. I wasn't exclusive to the rule, but I was his favorite target given my age and household status. If it made him turn out to be more of a dickhead, Peterson would do it or say it. That's why in all this time he married my mother, I've never once called him dad or even acknowledge him as part of my family in vocal speech, and I never felt the need to require that of myself.
Honestly, I was a little used to this by now. Yes, they both work insane amounts of hours at their jobs, but I'm not exactly free to work either with eight hours of school every week day, plus homework. Mostly, it's a matter of being polite when being asked to perform a chore, which Peterson never-ever did, except for the one time he was faking his politeness as it only lasted for a single day. The other courtesy I had about cleaning up a mess was who made that mess in the first place.
By habit that formed from my dad's more strict dishwashing policy, I was used to washing every dish I touch by hand (since he did not have a working dish washer anymore), so that there is no remaining mess for me to clean later. I stuck to that system, and the system worked, except for in this scenario. Peterson, my mother, and even my brother Ivan leaves their dirty dishes in the sink after using them. We have a dish washer, but they won't even bother to put them in there or wash out the big gross bits of food left in. Meanwhile, the sink fills up with piles of disgusting messes that I never contributed to making in the first place. Everybody here knows this as I explicitly demonstrate my strategy, but they don't care. Peterson wants me to do it anyway, since Ivan is still too young to be one's personal slave, and my mother doesn't stop this half the time, since she thinks him being strict on me is teaching me a good lesson. All I've learned so far is that Peterson is a slob in disguise on top of being a royal pain, and my mom just doesn't care enough about my happiness to do something real about it and divorce him. It's been nothing but horrible yelling ever since last year, though I tune it out whenever I can.
Anyway, the point is, I did mind doing them this time and the last thirty times too, since none of those were my dishes to clean up in the first place. However, the surge of anger that ignited from this incident didn't come from me or my mother, and I wasn't expecting it given the few seconds of silence.
"Heathen!" Lumina still kept to her mental voice, but cried that warning as loudly as she could, all while shifting her arms to her side to take hold of her personal frozen saber. The hilt concealed any sign of a weapon until she hit the rear button, causing the frozen sword to spring out from there. In a full preparation for armed combat, Lumina spread her feet apart, her anger and aggression beyond a boiling point.
Though I nearly tripped over myself just from her reaction, I managed to prevent myself from tumbling to the floor. My immediate next focus was fixing the person who decided to have a meltdown right inside my own head. "Whoa! Relax Lumina! Heel!"
Lumina nearly broke the hilt of the saber with her tightened grip, and she stepped forward keeping her laser vision fixated through my eyes. As soon as I said something, she switched from her mental voice to her physical, showing me just how serious she was. "I'll fucking kill him! I'll rip his neck from his spine and turn that husk of skin into confetti! He'll know no greater pain!"
In full horror which I forced myself to conceal from Peterson, I tried to stop this from escalating any further. My only guess for what was happening was that Lumina really was comparing Legasso's personality traits to that of Peterson. But even though her physical presence can do nothing about the physical guy, I didn't want to chance it anymore. I've never seen her this angry before; such volatile and vulgar rage with an insatiable drive to kill and murder! "Stop!" This situation took priority over the other, and I had to think of something quick. Changing my neutral gaze to the A-hole, I delivered my get-out-of-unpaid-labor excuse card. "Uh, I'll be in my room for a while. I got lots of homework to do."
"You got tones of chores to do in this house too!"
At this point, I just decided to ignore the idiot and B-line it to my room through the narrow hallway, but my own heart began pounding with such warning. I didn't know what I was going to do about this now. Hiding her will be harder if she lashes out like that. One look at a heathen and she loses all control!
As expected, nobody followed me and forced me to do somebody else's cleaning. Once I shut my room door behind me, I could already hear the two of them yelling, Peterson and my mom. Depending on how harsh he was, my mom would stick up for me in heated arguments, but it was only half the time, so I didn't count the value highly on this one. With my body safely retreated to the safe zone of my personal tiny room, I focused on trying to get Lumina to calm the hell down!
"You don't have to take that crap! Get back in there and go knock some teeth loose!"
"What is your deal right now?" I didn't know what to do or say, as I've never been in a situation like this before, but I still knew what ground rules I needed to set.
Lumina put away the sword, realizing that it would be useless here, but her anger stirred inside, simmering in her body and seeping through her returned tone. "That guy is an absolute heathen! He follows the same behavior patterns as Legasso! I know it, because we were all trained on what to look out for. They're one and the same! And that means this man needs to die!"
"Oh give me a break!" I face palmed myself, realizing that I was right to presume the reason she was losing it right now. Even so, it was a serious overreaction and a misassociation at best. "There is no doubt that Peterson is an absolute dicklord. But for god's sake, he isn't a mass murderer."
"Not yet you mean. He is fully capable of the same if motivated."
"I had no idea you were this hostile to the people that you hate." Her seething hatred reminded me of moments where I felt the same way back then. It made me 100% certain that such hatred towards heathens was absolutely not natural from within, but a purge effect slipped in from Lumina's personal hatred of them. Still, even I never lost control like this. I feared she might use some trick to take over my body and attack on my behalf.
"Only to heathens! They're the enemy of the Unity, enemies of us both!"
"You're just getting carried away. That guy isn't totally evil, not like Legasso."
Folding her arms in disbelief to my own words, Lumina dropped some of her rage, but her cynicism was still fully intact. "Oh this should be fun to watch. Just you wait. The heathen in your kitchen will play nice for now, but over time, he will only get worse and worse. All heathens do! And when they grow into that behavior, they never change back!"
Silence endured for a few seconds, allowing me to think more. I think Lumina was waiting on me, waiting for some kind of approval or acceptance that her feelings were burned deep into her soul, never to be removed or pacified. But before I could talk her away from the idea, all of the memories that I imagined as she told me the story about her historical background flooded my brain again, reminding me of the horrors that she personally went through. I found myself capable of sympathizing with her; I understood why she was behaving this way, even if I disagreed with it. "I'm sorry that Legasso killed all those people, and the people you loved..." How do I put this delicately? I folded my arms in return to try being practical. "But you can't just lash out like that every time you see a man through my eyes. It doesn't get either of us anywhere."
I was expecting her not to listen to my logic. But soon enough, she replied with, "Alright... I won't freak out about it, for now." Lumina stepped sideways a little, trying to put some movement through her limbs. "But stay the hell away from him. He's evil, and he's dangerous. Count on it!"
"Fine, I'll avoid him for tonight. It's not like I got much choice, since I have all this homework to do." I expressed my daunting disgust to the task while pulling out some of the folders and workbooks, glancing at the top of the materials without opening a single one of them. I really wasn't in the mood for homework. "Some of the work is studying. Of course, it's not like I learned much in class today. Somebody made sure that didn't happen."
Lumina knew that I was giving her a test of passive aggressiveness, but she returned the tactic in her own way. "Somebody must have dragged you away from your studies for one day. Oh what horror shall you be wrapped up in without your perfect scores?"
Does she really think I get perfect marks in class? Honors classes are harder, and I'm struggling to maintain straight A's with some B's showing up every now and then. I'm smarter than I thought I was before, but I'm not that intelligent. "You invaded my mind, my school, and my apartment. It's too late for me to be bothered by it now."
"You live in an apartment?"
How does she not know the difference? "My mom does, and I mostly live with her. But every weekend, I get to spend two nights at my dad's house."
"That's a decent setup. I'm glad you are still doing that."
She keeps speaking in this strange past tense about me. It's creepy to keep being reminded that she watched over me when I was younger using her clairvoyance, the power she no longer has due to the purge. My life just isn't ever going to be normal again, not after all this.
"Want to skip the homework and go for a walk outside?"
Her proposition first reminded me how chilly it still was outdoors despite the bright sunlight from above. The weather was a little uncharacteristic for Georgia, but the reason it was on my mind was the factor that the cold makes the connection stronger, according to Lumina. I also realized the reason she was asking me to abandon my homework to go outside... Despite everything I kept denying, she really did desire hanging out with me or spending time with me directly. I'll never understand her logic. "You know, normally, I'm not the kind of guy who skips homework to show an imaginary girl around."
"Normally? What makes you think any of this is normal for either of us?"
"Good point." I felt a strong sense of adventure, a primal urge that every human gets when the sun is out, the sky is clear, and the air is cold. Going outside to play or even just walk around definitely sounded like more fun than the homework, and by now, whatever exhaustion I was feeling before seemed to ease off for the time being. "Fine. But only for one hour."
Lumina threw her arm up in the air with a cheer. "Then let's adventure, human companion!"
"Just, Lumina! Stop that."
"Fine." She changed her tone to be as monotone and void of excitement as possible; her idea of a joke. "Let's go on adventure, or whatever."
I helplessly let out a brief chuckle to her attitude, understanding that she wasn't serious, but her voice sounded more defined when she was pretending to be serious, which only made her funnier in the moment. After changing my clothes for the light cold we had outside, I began looking forward to the idea of finishing another hour off with her. I think Lumina just wanted to hang out and talk some more. After everything she's said to me so far, she had a much easier time letting her conversation become more peaceful and serene. All we did was go over weird scenarios for what animals would be strange if they existed, followed by my own lesson about the Earth to her. Lumina claimed again to have somewhat limited knowledge of this world, so I filled her in on what I understood, including the fact that my age might conceal some other truths from me in particular.
Before I knew it, one hour turned into two, and I went home to finish my homework with Lumina keeping quiet during that moment as promised. By the time night fall came, I was an absolute mess.
"I'm so tired," I complained, unable to shake the strong drain around my entire headspace. "And mega thirsty too." Slamming yet another bottle of water down, I savored every last drop. When I lifted the bottle and allowed myself to breathe, I had a much easier time taking deeper breaths again.
"Yeah, telepathic connections can do that sometimes. And we've been connected all day, so drink up."
Call me crazy, because I looked up at the ceiling, pretending I was glancing at Lumina with surprise. "I didn't know that could happen. Does telepathy really dehydrate me or something?"
"Of course. Any time a person uses any psionic power, they have to stay hydrated. Without enough water, the effects could be harmful for both of us, and I want none of that danger."
"Yeah..." It was hard for me to have any after thoughts... I've never been so mentally tired this early in the night before. My excessive yawning made it clear to both of us that I was approaching my own limit. "I'm going to bed Lumina."
"And that means this first connection will have to end..."
What is she waiting on me for? "You'll have to do the honors. I know nothing about this, remember?"
Though her voice sounded mildly disturbed, Lumina explained everything without a stutter. "Okay, so here's how this works. Right now, either one of us can kill the connection. It doesn't take a lot of effort to do. But afterwards, only you can initiate telepathic contact with me again, and only in the morning, after you've been awake for one full hour, when you've regained your energy."
"Okay..."
"But in order to do so, you really have to focus hard on the sensation you can feel right now. It's much harder to explain than to just try yourself. Luckily, that purge has already trained your brain's subroutines to handle it, so you will always be capable."
"Come on. Get to the point already." I'm so freaking tired!
"I'm serious! You've been telepathically connected to me all day. So your brain should know what sensation to tap into, what emotion to feel, what psionic signature to lock onto. Just close your eyes tomorrow, and focus on calling me back with all the power you've got. Use the power of your mind. Use your psionic sense to call my name with utmost will, and concentrate on how this feels in your head."
"Are you by chance referring to this slight buzzing tingling sensation inside my head?" It sounded cringy just to say it like that, but I had no other way to describe what this was supposed to feel like anyway.
"Yes. That will be your way of contacting me again. Once you succeed, that new connection will last all day long, until we kill it again. The cycle continued like that after day one."
"Okay..." Now's the part where I tell her I don't have to do any of that, right? She must have seen this coming. "And what happens if I instead do nothing?"
I heard Lumina sigh with such a powerful sadness, tilting her head to the floor and letting her body slump with her tone. "Then I promise you, one hundred percent, you will never hear my voice again. You will never know what it is like to have me by your side every day, living through your senses."
While that is what I wanted all day, I want to be thorough. "Never-ever?"
"Well... To be honest, you would actually have to avoid contacting me for ten or eleven consecutive months to permanently lose this ability for good. If you stop using telepathy for that long, it will cause psionic atrophy, and you really will lose it for the rest of your life. But now I'm just being specific. The choice is still yours. I can't be the one to call you after tonight. You have to be the one to make that work."
"But how does something like that work?"
"When you go to project the signal, think only of me. It will help concentrate your thoughts. Focus on that buzzing sensation again, and focus on me at the same time; desire my connection. I'll feel it from here. And once I do, I'll lock onto your psionic signature, perform the same steps, and then stabilize the connection for the both of us."
"I see..." She really is letting me go. There is no other choice according to her... She's really giving me that choice. I have to wonder now, from all of this time, was all of this effort just so that she could enjoy herself? "Did you really do all of this just for fun?"
"I... Well... I mean, I'm serious about this."
I've never heard such a complex uncertainty in her. It further amazed me just how ultra-realistic her personality was set from the very start of today, but even I know better than to believe this fairytale. Even if it was a little fun for me too, this fantasy must eventually come to an end. So now, I shall rest. "I understand. Okay Lumina. I'll call you tomorrow... Maybe." I could feel my final word send a cringe through her body, further captivated by how I was able to feel certain sensations from her when she wasn't even real, but I had to put those thoughts to sleep now.
"I really hope so. See you later Reed... Good night."
"Good night." I wasn't exactly ready for what was about to happen next. Disconnecting from Lumina was what I set as my goal all along, but for some reason, it felt a little wrong to detach myself from her at the same time. I could immediately feel a serious difference in everything once she cut the connection on me. The buzzing sensation died out, leaving behind this strong lightheadedness in its place. I was even more out of it now than I was before because of the connection loss, but I didn't allow myself to succumb to exhaustion just yet. I need to know for sure if she is really gone or not.
Do I give it five more seconds...? "Lumina?" More seconds passed in silence. I heard nothing; I felt nothing. Whatever ghostly presence haunted me from before was now completely and truly gone! "Lumina?" I tried asking for her out loud, waiting for a response only to hear more silence. So she really is gone. I don't hear her voice or feel her presence. I know she would not ignore me if she were still here...
What a weird day, I told myself as my eyes were shutting on their own. Since I was standing beside my own bed, I let my body tank itself on the soft mattress, spinning my senses into a spiral of misinterpretations that eased me faster to sleep. Even as I was drifting to rest, the last thoughts of my mind demanded to remind me of all that was at stake. Of course, if I don't call her tomorrow, and she shows up anyway, then it would prove all of this is a lie. I won't believe any explanation she gives me for it... Or, I could just never see her again. This can already be over right now... Right now...