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<11/15/2012 - 12:22 | Cage High School (Lunch), Austell, GA, USA>

The perfect day for the perfect snack, ruined by the noise blasting through the double doors I tried to open. The cafeteria is where everybody goes during the lunch period to eat, but there's one particular aspect about this setting that I just can't stand on most days.

"It's so freaking loud in here!"

"What?!"

"Very funny." I knew perfectly well Lumina could hear my thoughts just fine. Telepathy doesn't muffle in the loud noises around me as much as ordinary speech does. Still, it's so loud in here today, I can barely hear my own thoughts post projection.

"It's always loud in here. Need I remind you?" Lumina knew the status quo by now. I've shown her all around the campus through my own eyes. She's seen it all; the courtyard, the track, the lunch room, the faculty room, the auditorium, the gymnasium, even the changing room. Yeah, I didn't mean for that to sound creepy. That's just the way things are. If I see something while connected to Lumina, she sees it too in all the full detail. The loud noises are of course no exception here.

"Forget this," I stamped turning around to leave. "I'll just eat outside, at the Senior Courtyard." I bring my own lunches to school, on the count of discovering recently that gluten was a major factor of cause into my recent headaches. Therefore, I didn't need to wait in a long line to eat prison food; I simply needed a quiet place to enjoy some serenity and eat in peace.

"But the Senior Courtyard is for seniors. Will they allow you to be out there?"

"Of course they will."

"You seem so sure..."

I was as sure as I sounded, as I made my way to the peaceful destination. The courtyard is actually empty at this specific time since most seniors take a lunch at a different period of the day than freshmen. Of course, I knew I would never get permission to stay out there and eat lunch if I asked politely. What I've realized early on is, the custodians can't say no if I don't ask them in the first place. "Nobody else is using it, and it would go to waste if I wasn't outside to appreciate the serenity there." By serenity, I mostly meant the lack of noise and the lack of people to make such noise. I've had a more difficult time lately enduring any sounds above the level of a vacuum cleaner or a crowded hall, so I factored this in as a requirement.

"I see you're having one of those days, where rules are meant to be broken."

I knew full well that Lumina could care less whether I act like a model student or piss in everybody's corn flakes. At the beginning of middle school, I used to care so much about being the good student that never gets into any trouble. After everything I've experienced now, I deserve a little freedom for not losing my mind many years ago. "It's not about the specific rules that are enforced, but rather the meaning behind them. The reason the teachers restrict non-seniors from this courtyard is because students of lower grade levels are usually rowdy, destructive, or ill-mannered. Does that sound like me? Of course it doesn't. I'm usually so quiet, nobody notices me in the first place, which out here will go double since I'm using telepathy to speak to you instead of my physical voice. And even if they do notice me, they're less likely to raise any issue with me about it when all they see is a quiet lonesome teenager eating his gluten free sandwich in peace."

"If you say so."

I knew I spoke a mouthful, but I was confident in my deductions. The school is absolutely full of crazy hall monitors on a power trip, who only have an appetite for making other students feel bad about their average life choices. As far as I know, they don't teach, nor do they contribute anything useful to the environment here, so I've lost a lot of respect for the rules, at least where I find them to be stupid or highly inconvenient.

Lumina waited for me to sit down, unpack my sandwich, and begin eating before taking in all the sights and peaceful allure of nature around the stone table. "Huh... You were right after all."

Of course, there were no faculty hiding outside right now waiting to ambush me, but if there were any nearby, they might not investigate this spot if I make no noise. The peace and quiet however went straight to my head, filling me with total bliss... Or maybe it was the sandwich. Sundried tomato turkey with American cheese and miracle whip between two slices of bread would make me happy anytime. "Seriously Lumina. The rules of this school are about as stupid as they get. I'm amazed I haven't been strip searched yet. But all jokes aside, the teachers actually enforcing these rules have their hands full already dealing with the real trouble makers. Sure, they have their crappy guards who only deserve an egg to the face, but I've learned to maneuver my way around those idiots who try to interrupt my life, especially since I've learned every hidden patrol route of this school. I personally find it humorous when somebody in a suit thinks they're high and mighty enough to treat certain students like criminals simply for wanting a breath of fresh air during class time, as if they're somehow federal agents working on a case they're so close to cracking. I mean, come on."

"The humorous part is, nobody has any idea that you and I are still talking to each other using telepathy. I bet if they did know, they would attempt to enforce some kind of rule on us about that too."

"Nobody knows a thing about us right now. I think I'll keep it that way too, for the sake of enjoying more peace and quiet. It's not every day I get to enjoy a view like this with you." It sure is a nice changeup from the chaotic moment I had earlier today in math class. I don't want to think about it anymore, but I can't always evade them. Math for me went something a little like this...

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<11/15/2012 - 11:35 | Cage High School (Algebra), Austell, GA, USA>

I sighed, sinking my face into my own desk above the complicated sheet of classwork we were expected to complete after the short lecture for the learning unit. I couldn't have felt more defeated than right now. "I hate this kind of math."

"Well I don't know much about Algebra. I only understand its purpose of design, but it shouldn't be necessary for most people to perform beyond computational math."

"Yeah, but there are more reasons than one why I don't like this class." I sat back up, letting my eyes drift and shift between three familiar faces I thought I would never see again. As impossible as this class was, I've since grown tired of sitting by the same people only to get nothing in return. Most would logically make the choice to sit elsewhere and make new friends, except I've already tried that to no success over the many weeks we've had already.

"I thought they weren't your friends."

"They're not my friends. Meet pain in the ass number one, three, and four." Despite how mad I was at myself for allowing this to happen again, I found myself sitting beside Banarus, Ashly, and Maddison.

"Who's number two?"

"I only sit with them because out of everybody else in the room, they're the least annoying. Everybody else is either a heathen or a girl interested in the most mundane and boring aspects of life."

"Doesn't that just mean they're normal?"

"Precisely." I knew Lumina would understand eventually. "As much as I don't like this group anymore, they're at least interesting or funny from time to time, which is more than I can say for the rest of the class. They're not my kind of people, nor will I ever confuse them as potential friends, but I'd still rather sit here than suffer somewhere else."

"Pick the poison that you know best... Interesting."

"Is it really that interesting?" I tested.

"It sounds like something Reed would do." The words coming out of Ashly's mouth got my full attention back onto the group, after I had been phasing them out in favor for Lumina. Sounds like they were talking about me?

"He's sitting right there!" Lumina tried to point out the obvious, but as usual, only I could hear her voice instead of those she hollered at.

"Oh boy. Sounds like they're going on about some girly topic and applying it to me again." "What, another dress-up?"

Maddison answered for everybody else, implying I had the right idea. "It's what you like doing best, right?"

I of course knew what spurred the conversation. Despite the best efforts of most I used to know in middle school, most freshmen still knew nothing about my fun at the Wahsega fieldtrip. I told some random stranger how I danced cross-dressing, just to see her priceless reaction. It was worth every savory moment, but I wouldn't do it again. The fact that these three are talking about it can only mean they want to see more of the same action. "What a pain," I transmitted in secret. As confused as I was about all of this girliness held up inside me, Lumina's version of the truth panned out after all. It happened so gradually over the last summer onto now, but as it currently stands, I no longer have any desire or motivation to dress up as a girl or pretend to be one. I get the feeling Lumina is partly relieved about it, while I for one am amazed at how long this personality change caused by the purge took to revert to normal. My hatred for heathens still burns strongly, and that keeps me from wanting to be masculine. But I no longer have any desire or care to act out in femininity.

Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

"I'll pass on it this time." My shutdown of their proposal had the three of them sinking in mild despair. I'm not sure why they were so happy with the idea of me being so feminine in the first place. After the times I tried to get any of them to take me out to the mall or hang out at their houses for a slumber party, it made no sense to me why they bothered with the prospect. Banarus doesn't even want me hanging around them as much anymore, thinking it creepy that I'm the only guy who only hangs out with girls without the intension to flirt. Maybe it is a little weird, but what do I care? My goal is to make platonic friends, and that goal clearly doesn't align with any of them.

"Not even a little?" Banarus replied. "Don't you think you would have been happier as a girl?"

"Here we go again." Lumina was tired of the conversation too, since this was not the first time hearing about it.

Since I've already made my peace with things, I didn't hesitate to give them all my ultimatum. "No, Banarus. I've given this plenty of thought. After everything that happened, I'm just glad to be who I am. I know that I've been girly for most of middle school, but now I'm thinking it was just as passing phase. I mean sure, I'm the least manly guy I know."

"No arguments there." Maddison meant to make everyone laugh with that statement, but it had no effect.

"But so what? I am who I am; the gender doesn't matter, nor does it control who we are as people. If I had actually been born a girl, who knows what would have been different in the past?" I checked to be certain, and Lumina was as straight as an arrow. If I were a girl when she noticed me back then, it's likely she would have moved on and neither one of us would have ever met. Could I really have been happy then? "So no, I wouldn't be happier as somebody else. I'm already happy with who I am now. If that makes me weird, good. Anyone who doesn't like it can go pound sand."

My words seemed to put the three of them into some strange mental trance, or perhaps they were using their brains for the first time today. I don't know why what I said got them thinking so much about the principles I was living by now, but I knew there would be no going back from this.

Given the long silence, Lumina latched on to the moment with me. "I'd like to see them respond to this."

To which, Banarus faked her smile pretending to agree with the epiphany. "Sure!"

"Don't pretend to understand!"

"I guess it makes sense to just be yourself. You are still a total weirdo though." They were bigger words coming from Ashly, but Lumina seemed to react before I could.

"Oh, go pick on somebody your own size!"

"Easy does it Lumina. These idiots can't possibly bother me anymore, remember?" It used to upset me that they viewed me this way, but that's only because I was trying to be friendly with them in the first place. It really rings true that I don't give a spec of care what anybody else thinks of me, but that rule doesn't apply when it comes from anybody I do care about, even a little. Now that I know how they really are, their insults have no effect.

"Yeah, I know, but..."

"Still, you seem a bit more mature than you were last year."

"That surprises you? It's been a year!" I knew Banarus was just being Banarus, but it made me imagine how quickly she or anybody else would become as intelligent as myself if they were to attain the knowledge of Altiri, with or without a purge. I've lost track of how much I've learned just by talking to somebody about a whole other world.

"I've had my moments. I've learned a lot about life in general. You should all try harder to make better friends. You might be surprised by what kind of perspective it can give you."

"Way to tell them off Reed."

However, Banarus suddenly let her sadistic smile show while beaming her excited eyes at me. "Oh, and I bet Lumina has been teaching you all these things?"

"Even so, why bring it up?"

"Why is she so excited about this? Don't worry Lumina, I've got this." "Lumina and I are still a thing, but then what business is it of yours?"

On cue, all three of them leaned in matching Banarus's excitement, chanting all together, "All of ours, silly!"

"That is some logic they go by."

"For the sake of everyone here, my private life stays private, as does Lumina's. Though to be fair, she's the one who wants to blend in better." My last statement didn't mean anything to reality. Lumina could care less about fitting in, but I still need to sprinkle some reason behind why Lumina would want to blend into the background, even if it isn't true.

"Again with the secrets," Maddison alarmed, sounding annoyed. "Why not at least just show us what she looks like? Is this military thing Zero mentioned before really such a big deal?"

I had to give myself some silence, aghast at Maddison's audacity beside the irony of her own statement. She really doesn't remember the events from back then, when I tried to reveal all of this to her during the first painful summer I had to endure. She forgot about it for one of two reasons; she was so shocked that she wiped it from her mind like repressed memory, or she never cared enough to remember in the first place, because that is her basic personality about all aspects. Maddison, no, all of them had their chance to convince me to talk to them about Lumina, and they blew it. "This is just the way things have to be."

"They really are relentless about this, but you are doing the right thing Reed."

"Lumina and I are a team. We work things out together, and we're still madly in love. That's all that matters. I have no need to show her off." Liar! My mind screamed at me for saying something so false. Even though I knew it was impossible, nothing would please me more than to have the real Lumina here with me in the flesh.

"I still want to meet her though. Let me know if you can bring her to this school." Banarus still wasn't giving up, but it was a useless suggestion to begin with.

"Yeah, whatever."

"I understand the sentiment Reed. I mean, Maddison shot down your explanation point blank, Ashly was a total bitch to you last year, and Banarus stopped struggling to include you more in her group anytime something fun was around the corner. Yet, one word about me, and they all flip a switch and act like your closest buddy? I know you can tolerate them, but I don't want to be near these freaks anymore."

"Come on now Lumina. Calling people freaks isn't very nice."

"But..."

I understood how she felt too, but there was something far more serene about the situation that she was missing. "Yeah, the three of them and I never clicked. As unhappy as I am about it, I won't accomplish anything by staying mad about it all the time. Their behaviors, their choices, it all adds up to who they are as people. Maybe they act the way they do because they can't help it. It certainly proves how incompatible I am with them as a potential friend, but I'm not going to hate them over it."

"Even when they treat you like dirt?"

"All I cared about before was making the effort to become a good friend, and the three of them destroyed that bridge I tried to build. That's on them, not me. It's like I said before. Banarus was never worried about me all those other times, nor has she cared about me once. She was only curious; that's all. She thought I was weird, and I didn't mind that. Instead of accepting me or getting used to my presence, the three of them kept me out of their circle of friendship even as it changed over time. Even if they want me to join their cult now, they can forget it. It's too late."

What I said was enough for Lumina to think in silence for more than ten long and peaceful seconds. I knew that I was right about everything I said. The only reason I still sit with them isn't because I expect the rare chance that I might bond with any of them. I don't care about Banarus, Ashly, or Maddison, in much the same way they feel towards me. Many days, they all talk about something in a funny manner, so they are quite entertaining from time to time, peaking my attention yielding only to curiosity, and nothing more. If they can play the game, so can I.

"Although..." When my mind went back a bit to something she said, I was reminded about the incredible daydreams I would have about the prospect of Lumina coming to my school in person. The thought alone gave me the dreamiest of blissful expressions. "It would be so awesome if you could come down here to this school in person."

"Keep dreaming Reed."

"Just imagine it. You, walking through this building looking so beautiful like you always do, and me clutching to your side while we make out around the corner. Maybe you could even flash a bit of your super powers to the people here, keep everything interesting. Everybody would be so jealous!"

"You know, I want to live inside your mind just for one day, see what it's like. I'm too curious not to. I bet it would be as vast as another universe."

"Still," Ashly decided to bring it all back up again, despite my explanations. "If we don't see some kind of proof, who would really believe that you were in love?"

"Huh?"

"That wasn't very nice."

"I mean, what if you just don't want to show her off because of her looks? Maybe you want people to think you're dating somebody more attractive."

"That's so mean Ashly!" Banarus might have said what they were all thinking, but her fighting smile broke whatever facade of care she had to our feelings too.

Upset as I was to hear such an insinuation, I just stood up and told them one universal truth that would never change. "Lumina and I love each other for who we are inside, for what we feel. If you can't understand that, then you all don't know what love really is." Wow. Did I just lecture everybody on love? My small speech sure didn't go unnoticed by some of the curious students around us, but I already made up my mind about my plans for the rest of the class.

"I'm going off to the media center to study." I could see that at least Banarus was looking pretty sorry for herself right now, sad and embarrassed, though Maddison and Ashly just seemed confused yet unfazed.

"Again? You go there all the time." I didn't need Ashly to point out the obvious. I really did spend a bucket load of my time in the media center wherever possible.

I do this for good reason too. It's to stay away from these idiots given free time so that I can work on my stuff in silence. "It's not like anybody here will miss me anyway." With that final parting, I got a media center pass from the teacher, and began making my way down there. I knew class would be over soon, but I don't care. I don't have to sit there and put up with their crap. They'd rather make horrible assumptions about the kind of person I am instead of trying to get to know me better by actually hanging out with me or taking an interest in me, and I'm over it.

At the end of every single day, there is only one person I care about at all. I'm open to wanting new friends, but if nobody is willing to accept my situation for what it is, to accept that this is the way I live my life, or to accept Lumina as a living breathing soul just like the rest of us, then they don't deserve my company. Who is the real freak in this situation, me, or them?