Ch:228 No Matter Where You Go, There You Are.
The rain stopped for a few hours at dawn, then moved back in, pattering down on the island in a steady shower of warm, fat drops. Gary only knew, because he woke when Shai had Tallum fish him out of the grotto pool for lunch and a massage.
“Luna does say that yer meridians are all tangled and blocked, qi kinnae flow thuswise… Therapeutic massage be the best answer, since we dinnae hae an acupuncturist nearby.” She said with amusement, while Tallum mauled him viciously.
“So why id Dallum breaking my bonez nod you, womand?” He asked, with his face mashed into Shai’s conjured massage table.
“An I start rubbing thee, we will nae be staying on task lad…” She sighed quietly. “A woman hae needs…” She purred.
“Please, Shai. This is awkward enough.” Tallum pleaded quietly. “Don’t make it any… harder.” He regretted his choice of words immediately, when both of them started chuckling stupidly. When his sister and her pet wouldn’t stop giggling, he gave Gary a ringing, stinging slap on the ass and left them alone together, muttering to himself on the way out. “Children, bloody children…”
“I were concerned lad… ye hae been… off, fer some days now.” She murmured while helping him into a robe.
“Once I unwind those enchantments and break them down into scrap, things should be better. They’re both still active, but now they’re haunting and vexing each other.” He sank down onto the sofa by the fire once again, with an exhausted sigh.
“The club is trying to dominate and control the arm, while the arm is restraining and trying to dominate the snake club… neither one has enough magic or the soul strength needed to win. Once I’m up to it, they will both get recycled.”
“Good, now eat, then rest. I would hae thee upstairs in our bed again… Sweet Shai needs an early nap.” Her blunt fingernails slowly ran up his back sending pleasant shudders through his insides.
“Uhh… yeah. ‘Naptime’ sounds like the perfect answer.” He sighed softly, relaxing back against her shoulder. “We haven’t had ‘naptime’ since…”
“Since we tried tae go fishing an were… interrupted by Fargnahagn and Ali.” She nibbled at his jaw when he tensed up at the mention of those two. “Aye, that’s the fire sweet Shai remembers… Ye kin nurture a grudge, after ye hae made right wi me.” She whispered warmly. “Yer safe word be ‘pumpernickel’, lad of mine.”
She took him by the hand, drawing him out of the sofa and toward the stairs.
That was when ‘Jerry The Weirdo Creeper’ came in the door, dripping rainwater onto his stone foyer floor.
Gary’s head snapped around, locking in on the smiling, tall man in light armor made by his own hands. A shorter young man in common clothes and a wet coak stood beside him, another form lingered on the porch just out of sight.
“It were true after all…” Jerry muttered quietly as he looked around the familiar room. “Tis the same place… mostly.”
Many of the instrument racks and spaces were still empty, as were most of the housewares shelves. Other items showed signs of skilled, but often incomplete repairs, like the Pianoforte, still standing on a simple unvarnished wooden rod for a front leg, but it was the same place, sure enough.
“We had some unwelcome visitors… they were less than courteous.” Liam said smoothly, sliding between the two men. “We will not be having any more of that.”
“It’s fine Liam…” Gary muttered softly. “We worked it out… Welcome back Jerry, Carlos… who’s your friend, lurking outside?”
“No master Oddsman ‘lurks’, boy. We abide until the fortunes are favorable. Be silent and show me to the publican of this… house.” The figure in all concealing robes of pale blue barked, with obvious discontent.
#
“I mislike waiting ashore for days on end. I have interests that must be attended to.” Baroness Dunham grumbled.
“Ducal summons or no, it will take some days for a representative to arrive… Fort Pasture was the nearest Oddshouse, they currently lack a master Oddsman, as I’m sure you know.” Amicus Fawn said cheerfully. “Or perhaps not?” He said, his smile slipping a little at her impatient head shake.
“Master Oddsman Lester Nesmith of Fort Pasture has been… misplaced.” Amicus said awkwardly. “There was some matter of spiders and an assault on a child, a bad business, best forgotten. As such, we must await a guild representative from Port Lomond, across the shallow sea.”
“Seacow’s saggy tits!” She snarled in helpless fury.
“I like her!” Otho chimed in, sipping his tea with amusement. They were seated in his jungle of an office, while her crew and guard were taking their ease at the orphanage, of all places.
“You seemed of a different opinion on our last meeting, Beloved Otho.” Filly muttered crossly.
“At the time, you were trying to rifle through my toybox and spirit away some of my treasures, girl. You are lucky I didn’t spank your knuckles!” He chuckled happily. “As for master Oddsman Nesmith… He received a very just and appropriate punishment for his unique crime. I’m sure you have heard the delightfully incomplete rumors.”
“Spiders?” She asked with a skeptical tilt of her head.
“Spiders indeed.” Otho said with a cold smile. “Wheatford is a town thick with rumor and speculation, it keeps us entertained on long, rainy summer evenings…” He finished his tea and poured a fresh cup, dosing it with an impressive load of honey.
“When discerning truth from fabrication and conflation, always remember: In this town, the more unbelievable the tale, the closer it is to the truth.”
“So spiders, then he floated away on the wind… because he struck an orphan child.” She deadpanned at the smiling old priest.
“Exactly.” He nodded cheerily. “He also sought to pilfer jewels from my hoard… and cared little for the consequences, until they came calling for him. There is a valuable lesson to be found in his fate.”
“I am starting to hate this town… are you all mad? Thick headed? Been munching on that damned purple krill and gone all loopy like a pod of stoned beluga?” She fumed and fussed, while the old wizard smiled. Otho and Naiomi sat in the corner together, quietly taking notes.
“Whenever I ask Gary to share his stores of exotic foul language he gets all shy and embarrassed… I do love sailors.” Otho remarked.
“Shush, old man, you’ll spoil my experiment!” Naiomi scolded her wizened husband. “Best she meets him unspoilt… Like a fast flying bird, into a new washed window.”
“Bugger yourself with a coral branch, crone!” Filly snapped harshly.
“Ok, Otho, I like her too.” Amicus said with a smile.
“Wretched old goats.” Naiomi sighed fondly, while making a childishly rude gesture at the girl. “The rain has stopped. Otho, take our fair, sweet tongued baroness to the orphanage and show her what she needs to see. I will follow along and simply observe.”
“Excellent notion, my dear.” He chuckled happily. “Come along, you have much to see. Oh what fun we will have!”
#
“Gary, stay calm…” Liam mumbled quietly.
“Relax, Liam… I just need to see a face before you come in, house rules. Violators get drowned in my pool.” His thin, brittle smile was not encouraging.
The person stepped inside and peered around from within their impenetrable veil.”What is this? You demand I remove my covering?!” They sniffed disdainfully. “The guild of Publicans and Innkeepers will hear of this indignity.”
“Sorry, no exceptions; get facenaked or get lost.” He said firmly, his smile growing no warmer. “I don’t care what you wear, but we have a few good reasons for our rule… as you know, Jerry.” His gaze snapped to the tall man in wooden armor.
“Now lad, this be our passenger, duly paid and contracted.” He began, turning to look at the blue clad form.
Gary interrupted him as he stepped down into the foyer. The entire common room had fallen silent. Forks and spoons paused halfway on their journeys, as the attention of the entire household and the guests all rested on the mysterious blue form. It was quiet enough that they all heard the quiet dripping of the sodden people in the entry and the wet slap of Gary’s bare feet on the stones.
“The masking enchantment on your robe and veil is pretty tight, but this is my home… you can’t hide from me here. That outfit is just a waving red ‘look at me hiding over here’ flag.”
The figure wilted a little, releasing a quiet sigh. “Can we discuss this in a less… public setting? It’s raining, my ride is stopping at this… hostel by chance… let’s be civilized.”
He grunted softly and pulled a curtain across the foyer… A bright green cotton cloth strung on wooden rings, running down a wooden pole to isolate the entry from both sight and somehow, sound. A curtain the crowd was pretty certain had not been there a moment ago.
#
When the young noblewoman landed back in her bunk just after mid day, after a whirlwind tour of the wildest, maddest orphanage since… no, it was too bizarre. Filly Dunham, new minted baroness of Centre Port closed her eyes and tried to sleep, with visions of children rolling on wheeled boards and laughing at play…
Children learning martial arts and weapon skills and reading… of all things. So many books, they were everywhere!
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She thought back on her own childhood, in the stone walls of her father’s small keep. His tiny ‘library’ of poetry and stories in tattered volumes, sifted from the roving trade boats was her fondest escape. They opened wider windows on the world, helping her stay sane during long, stormy winter nights. With those thoughts running through her mind she drifted off, feeling very lost.
#
“All right buddy… Lose the veil and let’s chat about spirit possession and exorcism. I might just banish you on general principles, but your host feels really chill about this whole deal…” Gary grumbled at the two beings inside the robes.
“That very attitude is why we are so reluctant to remove our concealment charms…” They fiddled and fussed at the headpiece for a moment, fumbling inexpertly at the garment, until the being sighed and whispered: “No, Kelli. Let me do it, you’re making a mess of it.”
With more intent, focus and far greater dexterity, the blue gloved hands unbuckled and unbuttoned a very secure closure. The hood and veil fell away revealing a wide faced, dark haired, smiling woman of indeterminate age. Her round features, wide set eyes and slightly abstracted expression told the tale.
Down Syndrome was familiar territory for Gary; no few foster kids wound up in the system simply for developmental challenges.
“We are going to have to do some fast talking… Whoever you are in there… Cause this is not looking good.” Gary grumbled. “Come on, let’s take this downstairs.”
He slid open a pocket door that was absolutely not there a minute ago and gestured for her to head down.
“Into the depths of a strange wizard’s lair alone? I think not.” She answered, without moving her lips.
“You’ve been in my ‘lair’ for a while now. How and whether both of you leave is up for debate.” He said calmly, still holding the door. “To be clear, your host is in no danger from me.”
“She agrees… you do not frighten her at all… but Kelli is a terrible judge of humans… and human adjacent beings. What are you?” She asked, while walking down the broad, well lit stairs.
“I’m a musician and instrument maker, though I do the odd job for the Adventure guild now and then. You are an Oddsman and a spirit from outside this world, wearing a human woman like a coat.” He gestured to a comfy settee and tea service, with a plate of cookies on the table.
“Kelli and I have a complicated arrangement, young man. You may have two cookies, then I need you to take a nap.” She sat down and began serving the tea with steady, practiced skill. “Sorry, I was talking to Kelli, she has a passion for sweets. I’m not embarrassing you sweetie, yes he does seem very upset.”
She sighed and continued talking while Kelli had a fine snack.
“Kelli and I met many years ago… well, forty seven years ago. For my people that is a single eyeblink in the limitless expanse of…” She faltered again. “Yes, I think he does understand sweetie, hush while we talk please.” She sighed once more.
“Kelli is a lovely, kind hearted being; but she is still a child in many ways, that may be partially my fault… I spoil her terribly.”
“And you are?” Gary prompted softly, sounding unsure with this strange dual being.
“Oh, no. I won’t be giving you my name so easily. Human wizards have proved largely… inimical to our existence. I will not be handing you a collar to bind us with.” She answered sharply.
“I don’t do many bindings, I work the other end of the business mostly… Ok, that was a lie, I curse people, a lot…” He paused for a moment. “You have some kind of aura ability… it coaxes people to tell you the truth. Sneaky!”
“No, that’s Kelli’s gift from Joy… She is a very special person in many ways, her gift prevents either of us from telling untruths.” The unseen voice took on a tired, careworn tone. “...Which has proved troublesome in the past… and right now.”
“I have something vaguely similar going on.” He commiserated with the strangely charming entity. “But that still leaves you with two beings in one body and the original occupant has… diminished capacity…”
“I prefer to think of her as having different capacities…” The voice answered warmly, while Kelli was discovering the pleasures of the chocolate chip cookie for the first time.
“She feels, comprehends and perceives far more than you might expect.”
On that note, Gary felt company on the stairs… Shai and Tawny were approaching… “A few of my family members are coming down to check whether we are getting along… is that acceptable?” Gary murmured softly.
“Curses, she will never take a nap now… She’s annoyingly social.” The voice whispered. “Perhaps they will distract her while we talk.”
“Oh, yeah… they’ll distract her, so will those cookies. Magic chocolate is dangerous.” Gary mumbled back. “I should have thought of that.”
#
Shai could feel a civil conversation going on down in the foyer… and when they went downstairs she breathed a little easier, but still enough was enough. Tawny joined her on the stairs with a silent nod. “Aye he might be needing supervision.”
Together they descended onto a lovely tea party, with a strange woman in blue robes struggling valiantly to crack the code on the ukulele sitting alone at the tea table. It was pretty noisy.
Gary was seated in a nearby sofa, across from the woman’s shadow, a shadow that seemed oddly animate and independent in some very familiar ways.
“Hi! I’m Kelli! Can we be friends?” Her wide set uptilted eyes and round face were alive with excitement and… traces of chocolate around her lips explained much.
She bounded to her feet, ukulele forgotten for the moment, still clutched in her hand. She struggled to walk for a moment, as though the task were unfamiliar.
“Bells! I’ve never seen a lady wear bells before!” She gasped. “Ohh! We have cookies and tea!”
Her shadow remained seated, still conversing quietly with Gary through the entire ordeal of introductions and Kelli’s very slow and unskilled tea service. She was dedicated to doing her best though, while displaying considerable charm… That eased both women’s minds and made Tawny smile.
“So Pretty…” Kelli murmured softly, gazing into Tawny’s dimples as though she might fall in.
#
“I, as an entity of primarily shadow, am free of physical preconceptions and limitations, existing in a state paralleling what you would consider ‘life’.” The shadow pretended to sip her shadow tea, for the timing.
“Our bond allows me access to her senses, her body and the physical world, while I provide guidance, care and… protection, when needed.”
“But you are the one in charge…” Gary prompted the creature gently.
“I’ve been raising a human child longer than you understand… She was sold for magical experimentation by her parents at three years old, boy.” The being hissed. “I was summoned into her in a disgusting ritual sacrifice chamber while her parents were still counting their filthy coins.”
“Oh… gross.” Gary murmured softly, shooting a glance and a nod to Shai and Tawny. “That’s pretty on brand for this place, I’m afraid.”
“So we have since found.” The shadow said sadly. “Their intent was that I would consume her and become some cult’s living weapon… We came to an alternative arrangement, she and I. Since that day, I only ‘put her to sleep’ and take control when absolutely needed, otherwise I must answer to her and live as she wills… it is her body.”
“So she is in charge?” Gary had both eyebrows raised in double disbelief at that one.
“She is my child in ways you can’t comprehend.” The shadow answered gently. “I aid her too much, I fear… she is more capable than I allow her to be. That is my shame to bear. I coddle her because her suffering is also mine.”
She shrugged her shadow shoulders with a sigh. “I’ve promised to remain with her always, so until she leaves this world, I will remain beside her…”
Gary shook his head. “You two pass the vibe test…” He glanced over to the ladies’ tea party and smiled. Shai was pulling clothes from her storage while Tawny’s shears addressed Kelli’s hairstyle with the kind of clinical precision usually reserved for surgery.
The shadow nodded and pretended to enjoy a cookie. “Kelli hates wearing the robes, but one never knows who might have magical sensitivity… or what roadside inn will turn out to be a… whatever this is.”
“Hey now… we’re coming from a lot of the same places, but this is my home, not a demon trap… He glanced to the inscribed clay disks still mounted over every doorway and sighed softly. “Ok, that was a lie. This place is totally an old school mesopotamian demon trap. Sorry.” Gary stopped, smacked his lips a few times and smiled. “She’s good at that!”
“Yes, she prevents or resolves many problems with that subtle, childlike honesty… And causes some few at times.” She admitted a moment later. “Curses!”
“The makeover scene is wrapping up over there, so let’s give them a moment or two…”
#
Tawny recognized the signs of Kelli’s condition and was a little confused, until she spoke in a voice of open and childlike wonder. Shai’s bells entranced her even more thoroughly than they did poor silly Gary, drawing their guest in and unleashing a formidable chatterbox.
“Becky, bring the wee ones down… we hae company.” She muttered into her earcuff, with a smile.
“Aye, I do hae pretty clothes my dear… an perhaps some few I’ll share wi thee while we guest thee…” Shai sang softly, holding one of her bright green shawls up to compare against Kelli’s skin tone. “Spring colors indeed…”
“She means thank you, Kelli… and she would like to share some of her things with you, if you wish…” Tawny translated cheerfully.
The sound of a small stampede coming down the stairs signaled help was on the way, in the form of Becky and three excited children.
#
Amy and the boys took control of that whole side of the room, with minimal supervision from Becky, while Tawny and Shai joined his party, chatting with the shadow being still sitting across from him. They got hit with an avalanche of surprises, very suddenly. “About this cult and its experiments…” Gary began quietly, once the ladies were seated and caught up as best he could get them.
“You need not worry about them. That was the very first and last time I put Kelli to sleep without her permission. She did not need to see what I did to them.” She whispered. “We escaped their hidden ritual site and wandered into the wilderness. By chance we were taken in as foundlings when we were caught on the road later. We grew up in the orphanage and served our indenture as a maid in a lord’s retinue without serious misadventure and mustered out.”
“What about Contract rituals? They would have revealed your nature, I think.” Tawny asked quietly, once she had time to digest a lot of fast moving info.
“No one ever tried to get us Contracted, since we were not considered important enough. We were not even sold at auction in your bizarre and humiliating tradition!” Gary sat up and ran his eyes over the gathered people in triumph, as if to say ‘See? Do you see?’.
“We were simply gifted to old baron Fizel as a sweetener for a few other orphans he bought that day.” The unnamed being continued quietly. “A despicable and unhealthy practice.”
“That’s what I’ve been telling them!” Gary crowed in victory. “We can work together, I think. But first… the bath, then my sweet Shai needs to be tucked in for a nap.”
“We are still a bit cold and damp, despite changing into this robe of yours… You know that this is a shadow construct, wrapped around her and I, don’t you?” She whispered. “The robe is composed of shadow and Will, made substance somehow… fascinating.”
“We live in a world of magic and wonders… Sometimes it feels like most of my job is reminding people of that fact.” He sighed tiredly.
“As an outsider, I have limited ability with the magic of this world… Kelli is far more capable in that way, she has profound magical talent… yet we struggle there, as she remains uncontracted, save for her bond with Joy.” The shadow murmured quietly as they headed upstairs into the common room.
“That Contract manifested spontaneously a few nights ago, while we were traveling on ship.”
“Really! Spontaneously, you say…” Gary almost cackled with glee. “Tell me more about that please.”
With a shrug, the shade continued. “There were no mages aboard, so we abandoned our veil to enjoy the night sky. She adores stargazing, despite her insistence that this world has only one moon.” Another shadow shrug and head shake punctuated her words.
“Suddenly, there it was, a sweet song thrumming through her whole body, asking only for permission. Poor Kelli couldn’t say yes fast enough… it was quite the experience!”
“You two are really going to enjoy my baths…” He said with a cryptic smile.
#
“I have come to a troubling conclusion, young man.” Kelli’s shadow said, while floating on the surface of the water. “This pool is a gateway into the void, into the very ether beyond, held open and stable by your soul… Is that uncomfortable?” She asked softly, while Kelli was playing with the kids over by the bamboo.
“I only ask, because you seem to be dissolving, just a little… around the edges.”
“Yeah, that’s been an issue with me… My therapist says I need to firm up my edges and stop throwing everything I have at all my problems.” He sighed happily, watching the kids play deepsea diver with their new playmate.
“I’m glad you were honest with me…”
“Hmm?” The shadow murmured, seeming distracted by the game as well. “As I mentioned We cannot tell untruths and only the most sophisticated liars can evade her gift. What in particular was I honest about, if I may be so bold?”
“When you said you were her caregiver and friend. If you were unwelcome inside her, even if she didn’t consciously understand or have any awareness… If you were a foreign being or invader, you would be floating away across the void right now, gently washed into the next thing.” He smiled wide and shot her a thumbs up.
“There was a time not long ago, I would have just shredded your shadow into rags and devoured you without thinking… personal growth for the win!”
“What in the endless cosmos are you, boy?” She asked in horror.
“I’m just an eldritch being, chatting with a cosmic voyager in a bathtub full of chaos… so, it’s tuesday.” He answered with a silly grin.
“Which one of us is… is the eldritch being?” She asked softly. “Cause I’m feeling like that’s you in this scenario.”
“That’s fair.” He said with a smile. “Now that we are past that awkward: ‘Will they or won’t they try and exorcize each other?’ phase, we can talk about professional matters… Oddsman.” Gary’s voice got a little colder, a little harder edged as he turned back to the shadow being.
“If you are here about Lester Nesmith… we are not going to have a good afternoon. All I have to say about him is: He got exactly what he bargained hard for.”
“Nesmith… I’d heard there was some issue, he vanished after committing some minor crime and has not been seen since. I don’t follow gossip much, it’s all nonsense lately anyway.” She snorted in derision.
“Candy guild wars and the fringe retreating… Magic musicians that make sea monsters dance to their tune and a small army of Adventurers battling the undead for weeks in the swamps… all foolish tavern tales.” She sighed sadly, while Gary nodded in sober agreement.
“All that stuff…. If you want your gossip and rumors to be believable…” He shook his head and commiserated with her.
“I know, right?” The shadow whispered giddily. “We had to stay at a dockside inn while waiting for our ship, every night a disreputable looking man would tell the same tale. A bizarre fable of how he was attacked and robbed by a ‘magic boy whore with knives and clubs for hands’ and a ‘vanishing whorehouse in the woods’.” She giggled. “He claims he lost his job and had to flee his hometown to escape the ‘wicked nightmare catamite’ of his story.”
“Wow… that guy sounds like a real loser…” Gary murmured awkwardly.
“To hear him tell it, the same butt boy showed up in Port Fallon, hunting him. He claimed to have fled for port Ellis, and nearly been caught there. On and on he went, you’d think that this, ‘smooth limbed, tempting morsel’ as he called his pursuer, was hunting him all the way to Port Clement and beyond!” Her laugh was clear and bright, and that set Kelli off too.
Soon everyone but Gary was laughing and unsure why, exactly. “I’m gonna find that perv and gut him…” He snarled quietly, amid the laughter.
#