Ch: 190 Magic Carpet Ride
Liam came out of seclusion feeling changed, more complete and a surprising oneness with the universe. Now his old nemesis, War was simply a small voice in the far corner, alone in the dark until needed. The… His Contract torc, felt like a warm friendly hand on his shoulders, comforting and supportive, when inactive. The cloak, when summoned, worked exactly like Gary’s comfort enchantment, while also providing protection from the elements and attacks.
There was much, much more to explore… that would take time, practice and cultivation, or he could get his lunatic brother to just hand him a document, with everything spelled out, for him to read, which he could only do because…
“Fucking Gary!” He grumbled happily, as he strolled toward home, hand in hand with Maple.
“He is infuriating.” She agreed happily.
Breakfast in his camp in the forbidden orchard of weird plants and trees had been lovely. He’d woken to a lovely omelet and coffee, thanks to Maple’s ‘Mortal Studies’ project. Less than an hour after sunrise they were strolling home together.
“I hate to come back to this, but it really feels like, when your friend Fig was suggesting that Gary and I should… ‘Enjoy each other and our youth, together.’ Was she telling me to have sex with Gary?” He asked the pale blonde girl beside him.
“Certainly not! We are not carnal beings like yourself. The thought probably never crossed her mind, my dear.” She answered primly.
“So what was with that story about the wooden dildo and a god’s backside?” He asked, doing a fair approximation of her tone.
“Oh, did she tell that one again? I pretty much tune her out when she gets her ‘storytime voice’ going.” She strolled in contemplative silence for a few steps.
“All her stories do seem to revolve around the human reproductive drive… now that you mention it. Fig is very fond of humans and can be very demonstrative, as you discovered.”
“I still say she is probably a voyeur. She asked me to sneak a fig tree cutting ‘into some fertile crevice where the boy won’t notice’. Your friend has some issues to work out.” He grumbled.
“You liked the jam, the wine… She knows what will draw humans to her. We each have our charms, even Hawthorn and Holly, the prickly bitches. We are driven to reach out to druids, we crave contact with your aura’s, particularly when they are released and open.” She smiled at the compact, gleaming beacon walking beside her, radiant and warming.
“Few things open a mortal aura like coupling. In the olden days, a pair or sometimes more, would slip off under the boughs and… poof, they wake up here, spirited away from their mortal realm.” She grinned sheepishly at his shocked look.
“We stopped that long ago. That is what we cultivated your species for, among so many others. It takes time to create sentient species, we have spent… eternity, practicing the art. On many worlds we are known as Beast’s handmaidens, bridging the gaps between the spiritual and the physical, the mortal and immortal, the animal and vegetal.”
As they walked and talked, a grand vista began to unfold in his mind’s eye. His world, just a tiny mote in a limitless gulf, which was simply a mote in an even less fathomably vast sea… and through it all, the dryads’ root systems touched the myriad worlds, interconnecting them all. Within that impossibly vast and intricate web of entangled root systems, spanning worlds and dimensional boundaries, he was a tiny speck within a tiny dot on the shell of the smallest beetle crawling on a pebble on a limitless beach, pretending this one minute stone was the entirety of the ‘world’.
“Whoa… That’s wild…” He murmured.
“Yes, boy. You will be fine, just walk it off. We are walking down a forest path, safe together, not far from your home.” She murmured softly . “Those mushrooms were absolutely not toxic… but you may be experiencing some intellectual and perceptual indigestion. I think you mortals call it ‘Tripping Balls’.”
“I love you Maple. I love this road… I love my boots.” He chattered happily, as they walked away from the forbidden grove.
A short time later he started right back up again.
“I maybe don’t love my boots that much… Hey buddy, give us a ride?” Liam shouted into a nearby pasture. The placid draft horse quietly mowing the verdure perked up, cantered over and leapt the fence in a single graceful bound. Moments later, Maple was nestled into his comfy cloak and riding in Liam’s lap down the narrow farm road, whistling a happy tune on a recorder of turned haunted maple wood.
“That’s kinda like playing a flute made from your own bones… that’s metal… I think.” He whispered to the small musician.
“We aren’t as offended by mortality as most beings, we remain, when our trees perish, moving on to another in that grove, or flitting to another grove, or even world. To slay me, one would need to slay every maple tree in the multiverse and all its myriad worlds. This is less than a single lost leaf in the vast forest that I am… This is probably not helping your ‘condition’ or is it?” She asked of the wide eyed and staring boy.
“He’s fallen into his own third eye, Horsie. Take us home please.” She asked. “I’ll see to it you get some carrots.”
#
Tawny took Liam in hand and set him soaking his head in the grotto. “Maple, really… Liam should have known better…”
The tiny blonde dryad toed the carpet by the fire and sighed. “I’ve been studying human cookery as a part of my overall mortal studies project with Thirp and Ducky… I made breakfast for him, a sauteed mushroom omelet.” She sighed sadly. “Now I feel awful.”
“There will be no lasting harm, perhaps even a little good may come of this, in the end. Some find that a psilocybin encounter can help with repressed trauma and emotions.” Tawny wrapped her little friend in a gentle hug. “We all have some of those in our hearts.”
Khan and Annie took gentle Bruno home and left Gary’s carved wooden treble clef token and an iron mark in the tackroom of his little shed. The mustachioed veteran had to do a little negotiating with his mighty steed on the way home.
“Yes, he is very sweet. I’ll ask if he can come over and visit… since he knows the way.” He paused for a moment and patted her neck fondly. “Yes silly, you can come visit him when you wish… just be sure to tell someone, don’t make us worry.
#
Liam came hurtling out of the grotto, wearing a hastily donned robe that failed to cover his backside, thanks to an inconvenient fold in the fabric. He skidded to a stop at the dinner table, where his family was gathered, enjoying a quiet meal of mixed monster meat chili and cornbread.
“I’m iron rank now, There’s no way to bind me to a standard indenture Contract!” He gasped, his hair dripping wet, but somehow still spiky…
“Yes rear, I mean, dear… we know. Gary found a sneaky… back entrance…” Tawny chuckled.
“Aye, he be a cheeky one.” Shai agreed, also smiling.
“Gods, my ass is hanging out again…” He grumbled gently, while adjusting his robe. “I really hate all of you.”
“Yeah, bro, we suck. The council has declared a one month recess for ‘deliberation of new evidence’... so they are going to be trying to find a way to enslave us anyway.” The madman said happily. “Our job is to take this month and use it to point out how they can kiss my swinging… find a new way to deal with things like grownups.” Gary finished, when he caught a furious glare from Shai, over the kid’s heads.
“Aye, like grownups indeed. Wi nae unseemly talk at mine table lad. Lest ye wish tae eat in the garden, aye, an sleep there too.” She scolded him fondly, but with a hard look in her eye.
“Message received love.” He held up both hands in abject surrender and smiled at his fierce, beautiful woman.
“I was thinking, we go find where this shadow douche… dude, came from, kick down a few doors, roll his boss up into a ball and…” He stopped and glared at Shai in comic distress. “This is hard! You better make it up to me later…”
“In that case, you will be happy to know, we have been asked by papa… Duke Belen, to go snoop around that abandoned city… He seems eager to consolidate those gains before the fringe can creep back in.” Tawny said with a smile, as Liam settled in beside her.
Otho helped dish up a bowl for the hungry young warrior and chimed in. “More accurately, he wishes to have that domain explored and added into his portfolio, before Helene Kinneman can mount an expedition of her own and try to establish a foothold. She has a distant claim on that lost county, one far inferior to young lord Liam’s, but less legally, complex.”
“Ohh wow… so the lost city is…” Gary murmured. “Count Liam huh? How do you feel about black satin capes and eveningwear?”
“Shut up Gary, my head is still fuzzy.” His brother grumbled. “I’m still trying to get my feet back under me.”
“Then it’s good we are staying here tonight, I surrendered my chambers to duchess Sheng… it’s crowded in the palace right now.” Tawny replied with a smile. “It will be good to be back home on the road with you all.” She turned her golden gaze on Angie, who suddenly seemed very small, even sitting beside Becky.
“The duchess has seconded you and Orlando to us for the expedition Angie… If you are willing. There may be some danger.”
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She clasped Becky’s hand fiercely and smiled. “Please, I’m not ready to go back yet. I love duchess Sheng, but I never had…” She trailed off, as words stopped working for her.
“Ye are always welcome, wherever we lay our heads, love. An ye will find, ye kin always join us where we dream… no force kin bar ye from there, an we make thee welcome.”
“If only Esperanza were here, we’d have the whole crew…” Gary murmured happily.
“Frankie.” Wilf announced without preamble. “Frankie’s not here either.” Rio and Amy nodded sagely.
“Frankie’s not one of us, kids. He has parents…” Gary said softly, which brought him a scornful look from three different sets of eyes.
“We have parents too. Lots of ‘em. You, Shai, Becky, Angie, Ranza, Grandma and Grandpa, Otho and Naiomi… don’t be dumb Gary.” Amy said sweetly.
#
Tawny came back in the early evening, with the contract and its lengthy addendum. “There will be some… conditions on this contract. We will be accompanied by a small group of council observers and their escorts.” The expected complaints came from all quarters.
“Nope. They can observe our backsides, as we carry on without them.” Gary replied evenly.
“It’s not negotiable, Gary. They want to see what we do and how we do it, before they pass judgment.” Tawny insisted.
“Taking in someone for the night is one thing, hosting guests long term, they need to pass the vibe check first.” Gary grumped and grumbled intractably and received backup from the rest.
“I will nae be taking responsibility fer some noble jackdaws an their train of servants, nae in the town an certainly nae in the wilds wi an unknown foe. I say thee nay.”
“You too Shai?” Tawny complained. “We will be accompanied, by order of the council of dukes and the conclaves of elders and clerics.”
“Ohh, that sounds really official… funny, I didn’t notice any of those names on the sign over the door.” The musician snapped.
“I have made it clear they may be required to see to their own supplies and accommodations… and that they will have no supervisory authority over us. That is all spelt out in the addendum.” Tawny soothed and smiled, trying to get the babies to take their medicine, they were not having it today.
“If they can keep up and stay out of the way… really out of the way.” Gary fussed. “They think they can take a ride on my magic carpet and I’ll show them wonders… I won’t forget who they are trying to sweep under the rug in this mixed metaphor.”
“I followed that entirely… I think those mushrooms are still doing something…” Liam whispered too loudly.
“They plan to figure out my secret sauce, start their own programs and then I have no leverage anymore.” Gary said mildly.
“Except, even with Becky and Ivy’s help and our active cooperation, Amicus is no closer to duplicating my results. What hope do they have, if he’s still scratching his ball… d head? His bald head.” Gary grinned at his successful maneuver, Shai was less impressed.
“In any case, they will be accompanying us. If we make the situation confrontational at the start, we are making a choice that may affect the results of important things.” Tawny reasoned, reasonably.
“Aww… man. I’m getting sick of bending over backwards, it’s really messing with my posture.” Gary hung his head just a little.
“Aye, very well, we shall be accommodating… an they do test me, even a mite… They shall find me tae be a short handled hammer. Ware, lest noble fingers get smashed.” She grumbled.
“Twixt the hammer an the anvil, is where they shall stand an they displease me.”
“The temple of Knowledge does not give any special rights or authorities to these ‘observers’ if they disrupt these sacred precincts…” Becky held up a slim finger to request a pause.
“Wilf! Pants in the taproom, young Adventurer! Sorry, where was I…? Oh! If they disrupt these sacred precincts and the tranquility of my studies… Rio, no bongos or ghost summoning while I’m pronouncing sacred decrees, honey!” She shrugged. “You know where I’m going with this.”
Liam stood, raising his hands for the group’s attention. “I know this is troubling and contentious, so as group leader I’m stepping in. We are an autonomous group, volunteers and beholden to no one, beyond the law of the land, our gods and our guilds.”
He waved his hands passionately, punctuating his speech with assertive gestures. “Freedom is our birthright and we will exercise that freedom! I bend to no tyrant’s yoke!” He slowed, looking them each in the eye in turn, to make sure his point was understood.
“As decreed under Boyfriend Law, I agree with Tawny entirely.” He finished meekly. “Objections overruled, the observers will accompany us… conditionally.”
“No Yoko!” Gary jumped up and shouted, waving his hands wildly and throwing the salt he used for rituals around the room. “No Yoko! No Yoko!” I said it three times! Everybody, turn and look at the band member beside you and say something nice about them!”
Gary gently and insistently coached them through the ritual, making certain each of them participated. “He says the spirit of discord and dissonance; Yoko Ono, is drawn to these situations. This ritual is meant to ward off her baleful gaze…” Becky answered softly. “He seems pretty shook up.”
#
“Xyll says we’re clean. So I’m satisfied.” Gary said, finally. He’d insisted on airing out the house before sundown, changing all the bedding, smudging the house with white sage and leaving the doors and windows open until full dark.
“I’ve never seen you act this way… how awful is this entity?” Liam asked softly.
“Some things are best left to linger in the dark, my brother.” He said, solemnly. “Come on, it’s the kid’s bedtime, I’m turning in early too.”
The house stood on a charming bluff, over a calm lagoon now; with a lovely and very familiar trade barge moored there. In her dreams, Esperanza was sleek and lean, aggressively raked and rigged for any seas. Her paintwork gleamed in jewel tones and every line was neatly coiled, so some elements of real Esperanza remained.
Here, Otho, Falco and Annie were able to summon their own toys to play the ever popular ‘ballsies’ on the seashore, so they had stuff to do. Three from Eponna’s herd were giving a good showing against the familiars.
“Huh… a seahorse.” Gary muttered happily. “That makes sense.”
Esperanza was leaning on the taff rail of her home in the world of dreams and smiling. “It would seem that no candy drug is needed, nor need I be under your roof boy.” She purred.
“Becky and Angie can teach you how to dream your own dreams, it’s a simple exercise at bedtime… you are always welcome though.” Gary smiled warmly at his sister, as the kids barreled into the lagoon to make the game a three way, three on three.
“This one is concerned by that wrecked vessel there… the S.S. Minnow? It’s inauspicious to leave that husk there.” She muttered darkly.
Gary hopped aboard and hugged her, while conjuring a comfy seat for each of them on her stern deck. “Shai’s still awake, I had a rough couple days and turned in with the kids.” He sighed. “About the Minnow… Sit right back and you’ll hear a tale…”
“This went on for years, every week?” She asked in amazement, gazing at the moving image projected on her sail.
“We had our own kind of magic… and it could be devastatingly destructive or sweetly beautiful.” He sighed, snuggled in with the buxom trader and the kids.
“Falco wants to watch Flipper again.” Amy complained.
“Nuhh uhh! Now that I can understand what that dolphin is saying, no way! Salty language like that, on a primetime family show!” Gary griped. “I don’t think a moray eel would even let you do that once… without, consequences.”
“Tis just sailor’s talk.” Shai said gently, as she wiggled into the couch on the boat. “Oh, I like this! Kin ye make a houseboat wi yer gift, lad?”
“Nope, fraid not, sweety… unless I find a big flat barge…” Gary broke into a happy and foolish smile. “Hey, Ranza, know if anybody is selling a barge?”
“This one will look, by chance, Esperanza sails for Port Arbor, the largest boatyard on the shallow sea. We plan to list sweet Esperanza for sale there, when our new vessel is finished.”
“New boat? Are you upgrading?” Gary asked, failing to hide his excitement at all.
“This one commissioned the build a year ago, when Esperanza became a bit too small. Now with your trade, we are little more than contract haulers, until Esperanza’s Bounty is under this one’s feet.” She sighed, distracting Gary and Shai.
“This one loves you both dearly, but would not be your employee.”
They both nodded, still slightly mesmerized by her exhalation. “How much does a boat like Esperanza sell for?” The musician asked.
“I’m iron rank now, I might be able to accommodate her in my etheric orifice… that really sounded naughty, sorry.”
“As she sits, empty in the water, a gold moon would be fair. You would need a wind witch or water worker to power her, unless you would rely on wind and tides. You nearly died towing her last time.”
Gary looked at Shai who nodded once, with a look in her eye that closed the deal. “Sold, Ranaza. We’ll find a way to collect her if you can’t deliver her.”
“It would be nice to keep her in the family…” Esperanza sighed, unconsciously bargaining harder, now that they were interested. “Perhaps an equitable…” A jet of water from Falco’s blowhole showered her, mid haggle.
“One gold moon Ranza… we have a deal.” Gary said with a grin. “You can even keep hauling with her, until we are ready to refit her, if you want.”
“Will you rename her?” She asked shyly. “This one rather fancies having you inside her, if only in a nautical sense.”
“In that case, we are definitely renaming her.” The little family snuggled in close and dreamed their way into normal sleep on the deck of the gently rocking barge.
“Good lad…” Shai whispered
#
Gary, Shai and Becky were mounted on what he still thought of as the ‘mark three prototype ringmotor bike’. Gary couldn’t shake the feeling that he was on the edge of a breakthrough there, so he kept thinking of them as pre pre-production prototypes.
“Keep it subtle with the motors, ladies. I want to keep as many cats in the bag as I can. We can’t forget, someone hired those slavers to put the snatch on me, someone human.”
Shai ground her teeth on that for a few seconds.
“Yeah, I never got an answer from any of those clowns, so I sent them on. They were some kind of cultists… they were tempting some of my darker impulses, so I quietly dusted them off a few weeks ago.”
“Good lad…” Shai crooned. “That’s two today! One more and ye will earn big spoon tonight!”
He preened and stretched when she playfully bumped him with her shoulder. “Yeah? What are you gonna do to earn your little spoon privileges?”
“All right you two!” Becky snapped with a grin on her face that made her cheeks hurt. “I’m ready to see something new!”
The first new thing was the squad of War cultists outside the gate, headed by the familiar, silver armored form of Rolf Belen. Behind him sat a carriage and two baggage carts. Two grooms, three servants and three well dressed people waited nearby, staring at the little convoy of weirdos.
“Well… Rolf, that’s a pleasant surprise. Welcome aboard. Now how about your companions?” Liam asked smoothly, kitted out in his gear for the road. He cut quite a figure, with helm and mask hung at his waist, beside the long curved saber he preferred, when not using a spear or lance.
“You know lady Emma, may I present lord Wilfred Hamish and sir Francis Pangbourne.” Lady Emma was dressed below her station, but with confidence enough to ignore the other lords’ opinions on the matter either way. Lord Hamish had the kind of broad, kindly face that suggested he was either a genuinely nice guy, or a cannibal. His tall muscular form and easy grace said he was a warrior as well…
The horses, familiars and Xyll all keyed in on him and his mount immediately. The tall, limber roan had a white blond mane and tail that shone like pale gold and silver, she pranced and minced delicately, communicating her eagerness to meet the rest of the herd. Wilfred passed the vibe test in one go.
Sir Francis Pangbourne, baronet of Stonedale lorded over mostly sheep, cattle and llamas. The only major settlement in the domain, beyond his seaside capital, was a hill town called Fool’s Leap, that was famous for pears and a sweet white wine favored by much of the nobility. That wine and its enduring popularity fueled his family’s rise…
The tall man, armored in the basic kit of a newly minted knight of War, was no common cultist and wanted everyone to know it. His mount was a splendid racer with fine legs and a calm demeanor. She snuffled the grass placidly, while her master fumed and looked like he’d found a toenail in his oatmeal. He radiated a palpable sense of: ‘don’t wanna be here’.
“We are an informal group…” Liam announced after the noteables met their peers and made the important people feel important. Gary and Shai migrated to the servants, while that was being handled by the nobles.
Chet and Pete, the two orphan grooms were family from the orphanage. They had a pair of young destriers following them around, making trouble and generally being adorably silly. The lads were going to be riding a pair of pony carts pulled by their familiars, loaded with horse gear and supplies and fodder for the company. With a nod and a wink, the four orphans quietly unloaded their carts into the barn and Gary’s stupid gift, leaving only a token load for the colts to pull.
The servants were a different matter. Emma’s lady’s maid was familiar, if not likable. She had a very classist and elitist view of society, one that placed her just below her lady, and significantly above mere orphan Adventurers. She had been wise enough to hide her attitude… mostly. Shai’s accent supposedly rubbed the woman raw and ‘made’ her say unwise things.
The other servants were the gentlemen’s valets, professional, reserved and disinclined to chitchat by the roadside where their employers could observe. The badges of the tailor’s guild one wore, suggested that at least one could be relied on to gossip, when the eyes of their lordships were diverted.
Hamish’s man Jake, was blonde and stout, with smile lines he tried to conceal behind a resting butler face. Pangbourne’s valet was young, almost girlishly handsome and very nervous looking, despite his best attempts to hide it. Trent had dark brown eyes and hair and a rich olive complexion that almost glowed with good health. He seemed unsure and awkward in everything except his duties to his lord and the simple shortsword on his hip.
“I’m Trent, sir Pangbourne’s squire, but I haven’t earned my armor yet, so I’m pretty much a valet.” He smiled and waved in a charmingly goofy way and then looked mortified.
“Aye, ye will be fine.” Shai said firmly, with her eye on Maddie Hopkins.
#