Ch: 207 Sharper Than A Serpent’s Tooth
The spray and swells sounded like thunder and rain on the hulls, as they sailed at speed, with a following wind filling their sails and making the masts groan.
An hour out of Port Fallon and up the estuary to join the Belen river, Esperanza handed the helm to Nicolai. “Take care… steer a true course. Summon Dante at need, this one must take an emergency nap.”
“An emergency nap…” He muttered to himself.
#
The little ones finally took their nap at sixth bell… they would be up late for sure now. Becky sighed as she headed downstairs and back into the roiling storm of people. Some of Rolf’s team had friends and relations in town, so a few more came over, word spread and things got out of hand quickly. Now the house was jammed and the party was getting rowdy.
Becky hit the floor and started moving, following Shai’s subtle magical cues and folding herself into the seamless teamwork of her family’s business.
They danced and worked together for nearly twenty minutes, before the thunderous sound of footie pajamas on the stairs brought the merriment to a standstill. “Gary! Shai! Thirp says you gotta take a nap right now… It’s a ‘mergency nap!” Amy bellowed into the crowded room, shaking the glassware.
Gary and Shai were there in a moment, kneeling among their kids and whispering.
“What happened? Is everyone ok?”
“I dunno, Ranza was there when we showed up looking upset so did Thirp an Ducky… She hardly talked to us at all, just shooed us away to get you.” Amy grumbled and looked pretty cranky, no nap and adults keeping secrets would do it every time.
Gary and Shai vanished upstairs without another word, while the kids in their colorful animal pjs took the stage with their toy instruments and started making noise.
#
Gary and Shai landed in bed together, after a few hard fought minutes of meditation. Esperanza was lolling about among the pillows smiling blissfully at them. “Welcome home lovers… This one has been waiting for a long time, so my sense of urgency has been sapped by this delightful bedding. Up, we have much to discuss, and many questions to ask and answer.”
#
…so, no baby, no outsider or anything, just hands and arms… gross.” Gary muttered. Thirp and Ducky were seated with Eponna at the edge of the bath, while Gary and Shai floated hand in hand with Esperanza “Maybe our enemy learned how to snatch them away at the last second…”
“No…” Morrigan whispered in his ear, jolting him from a peaceful reverie.
When Gary’s head came back up, Matron smiled and adjusted her black mourning one piece. “No, That is my work, and Brigid’s. Together we crafted your gifts with care; my gift was inevitable mortality, the boon of death and rebirth. Warm, tender hearted Brigid gave you ‘Bound In Flesh’, her most awful curse.”
“Curse, ye say?” Shai demanded, as Crone took Matron’s place in her scanty swimsuit.
“Yes, her curses are always something special. I do wasting diseases and blighted limbs… especially the fun, naughty and embarrassing ones… She takes a darker turn.”
Maiden giggled serenely, distracting the poor boy with enough jiggling, creamy flesh to tempt any hungry monster.
“Tell me more of this curse, an show me how ye make them jiggle like that… tis potent magic.” Shai murmured, while Esperanza stared like she was in a museum and might never see this work of art again.
“Brigid’s curses are rare, that makes them potent and dark… Bound In Flesh does just what it says on the label, it binds that soul to its body, until that body is fully returned to the earth and sea.”
“She made me partially undead?” Gary snapped, forgetting those bouncing, delightfull… and his anger drained away again as he followed the bouncing boobs. All of them, even Eponna and Thirp were in the pool, doing things at him that made being angry almost impossible.
“I won’t join whatever bouncing bosom party you have going here, lad… but I will say, you were undead when I found you.” Brigid spoke softly, but her voice rang clear and warm. “I don’t make undead, I just imprison the rare fool that offends me sufficiently, in their own rotting flesh, immobile and impotent.” She entered the bath and sighed.
“Morrigan gave you the key to the realms of the dead, I made the conduit of life and death swing both ways in you. It is my gift that keeps the dead and outsiders from fleeing when caught in your aura. It binds them into what form they have assumed and holds them fast while you work our will.”
“Is that why there was no trace of a baby when that creature got smushed? Cause I wasn’t there?” Gary asked, while Shai tried to soothe him with more jiggling.
“More or less.” Morrigan answered, while coaching Shai on some of the finer points of her new favorite dance.
“Hey, I wasn’t there when Ali yanked Rio out of one of those things!” He grumbled in annoyance.
“Weren’t you? Think about it… Ali is pledged to Joy and Healer both, both gods have touched you in more or less intimate ways.” Brigid whispered. “They have both spoken directly to you and have visited the outskirts of your soul…”
“The child was born under the light of the moons, your patrons’ own sigil, and your own circling backside, both. In truth, it was the direct and aggressive actions taken that sealed the magic. If one of your friends had struck a blow against that creature, your remnant aura would have drawn the imprisoned one in on the spot.”
“What do you mean, great one? If you will forgive this unworthy her impertinence.” Esperanza murmured, as she realized the scope of the beings she had been doing the boy distracting shimmy alongside.
“Nae Ranza, we dinnae crawl meekly here. These beings be nae so awesome as we assume. Nor so entirely benevolent as they pretend.” She grumbled, eying the two great fae with a little hostility.
“Oh, the boy is rubbing off on her…” Maiden let out a depraved giggle a few seconds later, peering under the water at the lovers, grinning lecherously.
“As ye see Ranza.” Shai answered drily.
Morigan took on Matron’s form again with a sigh. “If you had taken direct action, the child might have been drawn in on the spot by the remnants of this fool in your auras. Unfortunately, the child will appear at random, somewhere close to human habitation. Where? Even the gods and great fae cannot guess.”
“So somewhere in the wide world, a wee bairn is crying in the night?” Shai asked quietly.
“I’m afraid so. Console yourselves with this… even Esperanza suffered this fate, and was found in the wide, trackless sea. Whatever deities and spirits have touched that soul will guide them on their journey.” Marduk whispered.
“So one of ye might hae touched this one, nae?” She asked, peering at the deities and great fae all around. “Ye might ken where?”
“It’s not so simple, sweet Shai.” Brigid murmured warmly. “How many children are being born as we speak, all over that tiny blue green ball up there?”
“More than that, the child could land anywhere and anywhen.” Marduk whispered sadly.
“Ohh, your time magic, yo-yoing this world around mine, locked in time together.” Gary whispered, looking worn and wan.
“For all we know, that soul might be Zygnos, sent flying back to be born in the hills, a few hundred years before you were born… or some other person; past, present or future.” Marduk answered grimly. “Nothing for it now but to see how things unfold and do our best.”
“What were you saying about the moon’s light Brigid? Gary seems to be drifting off.” Thirp’s voice was soft, but urgent.
“What I mean is, the boy’s emanations, his… what is that word?” Brigid murmured thoughtfully to herself, while Morrigan was busy being unhelpful.
“...Emissions?” She giggled. “Discharge, ejecta, ejacu…”
“Enough of that.” Marduk said firmly, in a voice that shook the bath. “You are making my cultist uncomfortable, Maiden.” Ducky’s tone was like a white marble mountain, solid, cold and immovable.
“Oh… a godling no more, Marduk.” Crone whispered happily. “Finding your strength at last?”
“Yes, Morrie… and now I see.” He turned to Gary and smiled. “That was your plan…to spread your ‘radiation’ slowly over the spinning globe above us, eroding and degrading the workings of an unknown god with your own foolishness?” The preteen deity sighed fondly at his first worshiper.
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“Your energies and forces are too diffuse and weak to encompass a world, my beloved fool…”
“No, Ducky. Not mine, yours… And Thirp’s, Ponna’s, Joy’s… why do you think I let you all in? Even after I found out how much you toyed with me in the void…” He grumbled and complained quietly to the gathered beings. “A severely limited number gods and spirits, elaborate Contract rituals and age requirements… It's all bullshit. A sieve to scoop out what the enemy wants and ruin whatever’s left. That shit’s too big for me to handle, I need a cheat, an edge, a sneaky getaround…”
He grinned a mad and exhausted smile.
“A super villain moonbase? Ohh, yes please… I can work with that.” He smiled slowly, as his voice grew weak.
“That’s when it hit me, if all these dingbats want to get inside me, it must be possible… to infiltrate a soul. If they can do it, mindlessly out of hunger and instinct, why not me too? All my slippery little guys are super infectious and wriggle their way into anybody I vibe with, but they have to be in my bath…”
“Are you going somewhere with this? We are immortal, but seriously.” Eponna whinnied mildly.
“It’s like having parts of myself eternally blowing in the winds of mana all around. Right now, being outside at night is like breathing the steam from my bath. Less effective than soaking in it… but eventually...” He flashed his mad, tired smile again.
“During the day, sunlight is antagonistic to my Gary particles, at night, under the moons, I’m kinda all over the place. It cost me a lot, setting that up, but If I have to solve a global problem…” He sighed, with his eyes mostly closed.
“Now you all know my only secret, I did my best to cover all the bases. Even if I fall apart and wind up ‘Dust On The Wind’, I trust you guys to kick over any anthill left standing after I‘m gone.” Slowly he faded away with a loud snore and the sound of a sleeper rolling over.
“That was a pretty melodramatic exit…” Dj NotGary said quietly from his booth, before turning his gaze back to his wheels of steel.
“He can talk?” Marduk asked in confusion.
“Of course he can.” Thirp scolded her brother deity. “We talk all the time… he just has to focus on keeping Gary’s autonomic functions running.”
Slowly, Shai drifted off too, slipping into normal sleep. Esperanza looked around at the deities in the bath and shrugged. “That was very unsatisfying… Now this one has more questions than answers.”
“Yes, you are new here… I’d like to say it makes sense eventually…” Thirp sang happily.
“So it makes sense… eventually?” She asked the spider goddess.
“No, my child. But do enjoy the ride!” The spider gave her a gentle shove with one gleaming white, soft furred leg and she tumbled into her normal dreams.
#
The two lovers woke, entangled in limbs, blankets and kids, so everything was all right. They kissed and began the laborious process of escaping the Wardian knot.
“He who unties the knot, winds up making breakfast.” Gary whispered as they crept downstairs, leaving Angie and Becky passed out with the kiddos.
There were a few lumpy piles of bedding scattered around the common room, sleeping friends and relations, or the friends of someone's relations… whatever. They started breakfast anyway, smiling and working together to the tune of her bells.
“Old widow Mariam was forever after me tae wed some lad or other… she did oft scold me. ‘Ye demand the moon an stars fer a husband’... turns out she were half right.” She clapped a warm, firm hand to his backside and gave a squeezie, squeezie that perked him right up.
“I’m starting the coffee, lover…” He warned, as the enormous kettle began to steam and that smell escaped. Bodies lurched into life as they caught the scent of life giving java, freshly brewed.
“Try to avoid sudden movements…They track motion.” He whispered as they slipped out of the crowd of the half living.
“One hae gripped me… how bad be it?” Shai asked, when she felt something grab her skirts and climb.
“Zombie Amy, it could be worse. We’ll get some cocoa and toast in her. Rio and Wilford are still out cold upstairs.” Gary whispered, so as to not disturb his songbird.
“I think one of Wilford’s gifts is waking up too, like Amy’s Voice, we’ll have to watch for it.”
“Aye, he be quiet, I’d nae miss summat important fer nae paying attention.” She murmured, stroking her sleepy daughter’s back gently.
“It’s his Might… Wilf’s gettin’ strong…” Amy murmured in her sleep.
“Or we can just wait for Amy to tell us…” He shrugged.
“Yer welcome.” She burbled happily.
Shai sat down and rocked by the fire, while Gary braved the shambling horde to make cocoa and toast… with extra mini marshmallows. “Big ups to my marshmallow team…” He whispered when he finished making breakfast s’mores.
“Whole wheat toast, peanut and hazelnut butter, cocoa spread, chopped almonds and toasted marshmallows… part of this balanced breakfast!” He sang, when the girls and his boys came ambling downstairs.
Shai and Amy were all sticky and looking twitchy already, with chocolate and other substances staining their faces and fingers. There was still a mountain of the gooey, drippy, tempting sandwich triangles, piled high on a serving tray.
Tawny backed away rapidly, with a grim smile on her face. “That would literally kill me, Gary. Nothing human could eat that much sugary goo and still function.”
Rio and Wilf darted past, holding cocoa in one pudgy fist and a sticky fistful of sandwich in the other. “Go go go! Before the grownups catch on!” Rio shouted, as they bolted for the sunlit garden.
“It’s ok, I grew up on this stuff… they’ll wind down by naptime and be back on schedule for bedtime.” He murmured.
“That is awful!” Tawny exclaimed, looking out the door for the two runaway scamps. “Sending their metabolisms swinging wildly like that is terrible for the body.”
“They did it to me all the time… ohh. Right.” He hung his head.
“They are tasty though… Becky murmured with her mouth nearly glued shut.
#
Gary and the boys were out in the garden with Khan, trying to get a better idea of what Wilf’s gift could be. He couldn’t be less interested for his part.
“S’not time yet.” He said firmly. “I don’t wanna.”
“That’s ok buddy, we’ll work on it together.” Gary said with a hug and squeeze. Wilf wriggled away and darted off, shouting as he ran. “I don’t like it, I don’t wanna!”
Gary sat there on his hams, wondering and watching his son run away into the garden and hide.
“He’ll be ok, tio Khan.” Rio said firmly, before shooting Gary an ugly look and dashing off.
“What was that about?” He asked the mustachioed warrior… a wordless shug as his only answer.
#
They got in motion by third and made good headway over the soggy roads, after dropping off their headsore and partied out guests in town. The pony carts pulled their weight for the first time this trip, along with the Mystery Machine, pulled out of extended storage for Otho to drag, since the pony carts were jammed with sleepy guests.
“Gary, Shai, let’s put some miles down please.” Tawny said softly. “I’d like to get home sooner rather than later.”
#
Frank was unsure what ‘boogie’ was, or why it figured so prominently in all of these songs… but it did make the miles fly past. The party ended up in a very pleasant, sheltered glade, with a lovely meadow and the most exquisite magnolia tree, on a low hillock right in the middle.
Moments after they arrived a beautiful, tiny woman came striding over, dressed in a gown of shiny, waxy leaves and a garland of perfect magnolia blooms in her chestnut hair.
“Darlings, it’s been ages since you came to visit me… Dannyl, I am put out with you for not stopping a few days ago. Though bless you for felling that abomination. It did reek so.”
“Sol!” The kids cried in unison when they woke to her voice. They dashed over and all three little ones vanished into her cave.
They sang and danced their house into being, shaking their groove things till the rooftiles reflected the lowering sun.
“Where is this, ‘Funky Town’?” Hamish asked, gasping for breath in his newly fitted armor. “It sounds fun.”
“Far from here my friend, very far indeed, I suspect.” Pangbourne muttered softly.
#
The kids were still hanging in Sol’s cave, having tea with her squirrel friend, Ivanhoe, so Gary did a little interrogating, starting with Shai.
“Any idea why the boys are all salty with me lately?” He asked in the kitchen, with his hands full of shredded cabbage and onions. “They hardly talk and I keep feeling like they’re mad… or disappointed?” The steady beat of his knife, gently kissing the cutting board syncopated with Becky’s constant, ringing spatula work.
“Red handled spat Becks, it’s a middle C when you strike on the edge and a Bflat on the… flat.” Becky’s part tightened up significantly with an instrument change.
“I dinnae ken, but summat be off. Find the problem an fix it, lad.” She muttered back. Shaking her hips for emphasis.
“You’re just assuming it’s me… Ok yeah.” He grumbled quietly. “Let me have some time with them before bed, ok?”
“Aye, tis well ye talk wi them sooner than later.” Shai kissed him and swatted him on the ass. “Go, fetch in the others fer dinner, tis a special night… we finish off yer last bit of grounddragon.” She smiled happily. “Tis pulled grounddragon on rolls, wi slaw and bibbily que sauce. It be a winner.”
#
After dinner and a bath to get the red sticky stuff off of the kids’… everything; Gary rounded them up in their bedroom for a talk.
“Wilf, are you upset with me over something?” He asked, bending on the whole ‘Wilf’ thing for once.
“He’s mad about the snake.” Amy said firmly. “He doesn’t wanna talk about it, but he’s mad cause he doesn’t want it.”
“You mean that snake club?” Gary asked, puzzled and a little upset by this twist. Wilf nodded soberly and said nothing.
“I didn’t make that for you… I don’t want you anywhere near it…” Gary trailed off as Wilf passed him that damned leather case, the seal still intact.
“He found it in the freezer, while getting a snack for Otho.” Amy reported gravely. “It called him over, just like on Seahorse.”
“It called you over…” He muttered, with a suspicious look on his face. He held up the heavy leather case and gave it a squeeze in his fist. “I didn't make this for you buddy. I promise… I’ll unmake it though.” He grumbled at the thing in his fist. “Go to bed kids, I love you.”
#
You are incompatible with This Mortal Coil, you cannot recover any compatible soul fragments from this sentient item.
Gary stopped cold, in the middle of trying his damndest to unwind his own spells… and failing hard.
‘this sentient item.’ That finally got through the layers. “A sentient Contract item that wants to bond with my son… “Nope!” Gary picked up the loathsome thing and carried it into the private pool.
Without ceremony he dropped it in, where it fizzled and sank into the endless depths, foaming and bubbling away.
“That’s don…” He was halfway through his self congratulations, when the thing popped out of the waterfall; clattering to the pavers, perfectly intact. “Awww shit.” He muttered in frustration.
Just for the sake of thoroughness he dropped it in Tallum’s foundry and set the thing on nuclear meltdown.
Half an hour later, the enchanted iron crucible was glowing white hot and the cudgel was sitting there, still cool to the touch, no doubt… if one were mad enough to reach into that inferno.
“Double dogshit.”
#
“Wilf doesnt like the snake. I thought you were gonna get rid of it.” Amy mumbled when He went up to wake them for breakfast. “He can still hear it calling him.”
“Really? Oh man, I am gonna…” Shai shot him through the heart with a furious glare and he changed course. “I’m gonna talk to Ducky and Thirp about it tonight and maybe Brigid too.” She nodded like a judge, granting a stay of execution… a brief one.
“For right now, I have a solution.” He said it with satisfaction, and a very cruel smile.
After breakfast, the little tribe marched down into the workshop, deep into the far back corner, where some people got the feeling that if they turned the corner, they might meet themselves… with disastrous results. What those results might be, none could say. It was a common feeling among the more sane members of the group.
Far away, behind Seahorse, freshly repaired and with a shiny new motor that was hard to look at, they reached their destination.
“Ooo, Wicklowe’s jar… clever lad.” Shai murmured happily. “Tis a fine temporary solution.”
Gary climbed the rickety scaffolding hung on the lip of the huge stoppered jar. With a heave, he cracked the hefty glass stopper and dropped the cased club inside. The lid dropped back down with a soft hiss, as the perfectly matched glass surfaces met and sealed, air and spirit tight.
Gary spent a few minutes tying a complex net of copper wire around the stopper and the lip of the bottle and crimped it closed with a clay seal that nobody who knew how his spells worked, wanted to touch.
“Can you hear it now?” He asked his sweet, quiet lad. Wilford shook his head and smiled for the first time in a few days.
“Good. I put a curse in that seal… anybody that opens it is so boned.” He growled. “No, Shai, nothing dangerous. Nothing I can’t undo either… nobody else can, though.”
He shot a warning look at his little family.
“All right, let’s bring this circus home… ready, Wards?” He demanded with a grin as he stuck his hand out. Amy put hers on top, followed by the kids. Finally Shai, Becky and Angie clued in and stuck their hands in for a:
“Pirate rules! Take everything you can! Give nothing back!”
“That’s a little ruthless to teach the children, Gary.” Angie whispered as they went upstairs.
“The moral high ground and polite niceties are for human beings, Angie. They want to sell us like animals… don’t forget it. We can’t.” He muttered in a cold and bitter voice she’d never heard from the silly, jolly craftsman and musician.
They hit the River Road and waved farewell to Solange before second bell, riding for home under the strange musical spell the kids wove among themselves. The uplands gate cast its shady welcome over the noble party, while the rabble headed for the market ward, around the town perimeter road.
Their familiar wide meadow and deep river pool were waiting for them, as were two ships at anchor. Sweet and cheery Esperanza bobbed merrily, the blue and gold river barge was sixty feet long, ten wide at her beam and with a shallow draft, she was made for coasting and shallow water cargo.
Beside her sat her blue water sister; Esperanza’s Bounty had three masts to Esperanza’s one. She swept gracefully from a knifelike prow to a refined and streamlined aft. She was a thing of beauty and craft to be marveled at, rivaling most of the yachts and pleasure barges still moored on the river.
“Oh wow…” Becky gasped, while Shai and Amy just stared hungrily.
#