Ch: 104 Red Cheeked Monkey

Noise, light and water engulfed Shai as the tile broke with a crack, a crack that ended the world. The next thing she remembered was Gary, exhausted and bleary eyed, hauling her out of the water by her bright yellow, puffy vest.

#

The massive croc was still terrifying, even laid out on the mud flat with most of its neck and throat savagely torn asunder. Gore was scattered in a wide arc from the shattered creature, staining the mud and drawing small scavengers.

“...core of solid iron, in a thick casing of bronze, enchanted much like one of my ‘sandwich motors’, but instead of motion, it just produced chemical energy from the reaction. All that rich, creamy iron flashed off into rust inside a thick bronze candy shell.”

Gary was saying, when Shai’s hearing came back. Liam was carefully cutting the balloon vine seedlings out of her soggy, slowly deflating vest. He placed each one lovingly on the water and set it adrift.

Becky was covered with colorful batlizards, taking off to seize a snack and then returning to share it with her. A small heap of discarded skeeter wings already spread out from her skirts.

Luna led a short rite, consecrating their kill to the god of Beasts, before Gary stripped down to a set of very tight fitting, bright red short shorts that climbed alarmingly high up his nethers. The exhausted musician flopped over the side limply.

“Aye! That’s the stuff!” Shai cheered, as he swam and splashed his way onto the reeking mudflat to do disgusting things to the corpse. He summoned a huge machete and began the bloody job of harvesting a few choice morsels and parts.

#

Becky turned Seahorse about to motor for home. They waved to Zorro, who was staying to assist the butchery crew, coming up by barge now that the job was done.

He fondled the little brass cartouche stitched into his hat and grinned. “See you soon kids…” He shouted, while thinking; ‘Buncha weirdos...’

#

Shai spent the ride back wrapped in a blanket with Gary, who was too tired to make sense anymore. The duo were useless, so Bannock pressed Becky on the magic thunder arrow.

“Sorry Bannock, the god of Knowledge can’t explain crazy. Even if I knew what an ‘oxidizing reaction’ was, or how ‘ion transfer’ worked, only he can make that stuff.”

She shrugged over the tiller. “When he wakes up he will explain it… still won’t make any sense.”

#

“Really, you two again?” Marduk demanded, when they showed up in bed.

“I suppose we can take our business elsewhere…” Gary offered with a smile. “I’ve been meaning to ask… do you know Quetzalcoatl?”

“Is that your game boy? Planning on shipping old Marduk off to a home, find some young, mesoamerican deity to take my place?”

Marduk flopped back onto a golden divan that appeared just for him and pretended to weep. “Cast off for some dewy young pre-columbian… such a cliché, it’s not even funny”

He tired of the game after a moment and sat up, meeting Gary’s eyes with a smile.

“I am Quetzalcoatl in many ways, or rather aspects of me are… You met me as Secret, others might see Oghma, or Vishnu… Look, gods have angst and self doubts, we are immortal and eternal, not omniscient… parts of me that resonate with some people are different than those others can feel and perceive…”

Shai had been watching the exchange with interest. Seeing the pair of them in an unguarded moment made her crack a smile and giggle silently.

“Send us off tae sleep Ducky, we be just tired.” She mumbled, pulling her fractious boy back into bed. “Tis rest we need nae a lesson.”

He tapped their foreheads with his index finger gently, setting the sleepy pair adrift.

“Loons, the pair of them…” He muttered, while assuming the form of a long, silver serpent with iridescent plumes and radiant golden eyes.

“Ohh yesss, I forgot about tthhiss assssspect, very niiicccce.”

#

Seahorse cruised the canal, nosing through floating vegetation and startling water birds. The couple were still softly snoring, despite the excited bustle in the rest of the boat.

Bannock was hunched over Gary’s crossbow reloading device, with the cover off. With a pencil and sketch pad from Dannyl, the young knight drew the works in exacting detail.

Herlick sang a slightly bawdy campaign song with Becky, while occasionally rocking the boat to frustrate her comrade.

Liam sat in the bow with Dannyl, jamming together quietly, while watching the marsh and its wildly colorful denizens go about their days.

“Three bronze moons bounty, plus whatever they pay us for the meat… Gary already climbed all over the corpse doing…” Dannyl shuddered. “...things to it. Are we gonna be rich?” He asked his young leader.

“Do you want to be rich? I think I would rather do things that matter, instead of collecting money.” Liam had his head all tangled up in a tricky G chord transition and was only half listening.

“You know what I mean, I never had money before…” Danyl muttered.

“Talk to Ivy or Shai… unless you are brave enough to face Esperanza… Don’t waste time with Gary, he hemorrhages money, while still somehow remaining flush with cash…” Liam hushed, as money talk made Shai restless in her sleep.

#

Tawny had a village elder and several concerned parents sipping tea in the common room while their children hung out in the garden, listlessly doofy and bemused.

“...perfectly normal. I think you will find that most uncontracted children of fifteen and older have at least a few offered Contracts. I recommend you be open minded in your choice of cults… things are changing in the wider world.”

She held up a golden hand for silence, before the clamor had a chance to really get going.

“The high priestess of the cult of Knowledge will be back this evening. She will have the same answers to all of your questions, but delivered in a much more infuriating way, than I ever would. Query her at your peril. That is all I have for you, Blessings of Dana on you all.”

#

Amy, Wilford and Nara had an impromptu ‘Horsie’ league going with some of the younger village children. The kids lounged on long suffering equines, as they roamed and grazed in the garden.

Scoring was complicated and the bracket drawn in colored chalk on the sidewalk held more mysteries than answers. The only thing that was clear; Nara was winning. She and Socks had teamed up early and formed a potent duo.

Socks’ delicate, mincing steps and refined appetite made a stable and smooth gaited platform for Nara’s advanced ‘Naprobatics’. The catwoman was currently hanging around the gentle horsie’s neck, bent backwards until her toebeans touched, with her tail tucked over her eyes, blissfully asleep. Victory was sweet indeed.

#

Gary and Shai woke just before Becky nudged the dock with Seahorse’s bow. Shai yawned and stretched prettily, even with mud streaked hair and silt under her fingernails.

Poor Gary looked like he had been pulled through a knothole backwards, with red, rheumy eyes and a listless gait. He kissed her and staggered for the private bath with single minded determination.

“Running dry like that is excellent training, in any case, he will just feel like shit for a little while.” Luna mumbled to Shai, while hugging Khan fiercely.

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“No more boat rides, I ride or walk into battle… that was terrifying.” She shook it off with a physical effort and flopped onto the couch.

Poor little Becky was surrounded by a small swarm of nervous parents, all demanding to know what this new cult of ‘Knowledge’ wanted from their children. They pressed in all around the tiny young woman clamoring at her, insistent and agitated.

Tawny smiled, seated herself at the pianoforte and played a bit of Gary’s ‘Ragtime Jazz’, while watching the show.

“Marduk, god of knowledge, literacy and civilization is not ‘new’... master Assam. He is the true face of man’s learning and wisdom. Secret is no more, now Marduk has revealed himself, bringing the old ways back.” She lectured patiently.

“Let me be frank, there are no tithes or dues, no sacrificial rites or elaborate ritual tools to purchase.” She sighed from within her darkling hood of tentacles.

“Knowledge, like Joy and Healer, demands nothing, save that we work to better ourselves and our neighbor’s lots. Marduk is the simple joy of learning new things… that is his tithe and benediction.” She clapped her hands, trying to be as explosively loud and her brother…

“There must be some trick to it…” She mumbled, while rubbing her stinging palms.

#

Gary floated in the bath in the other place, his body was asleep in the grotto in the real world, soaking elsewhere at the same time felt… fizzy.

“When you guys reach through me like this it really throws me out of whack, I love the results, but… man, I’m getting a little loopy.” He complained to his divine housemate.

“What ever happened with that Contract ritual you were cooking up?” He asked, eyes barely open.

“Yes… that.” Marduk grumbled. “We worked diligently on that, Thirp and I, turns out it is, as you say… Bullshit.”

The little god slipped into the bath, conjuring a bright floral bathing cap to protect the divine curls.

“The whole Contract system is just a veneer of overly complex ritual magic, to hide a nasty little etheric compulsion spell.” He slapped the water in godly fury, while he fumed.

“Someone has been very naughty, hiding a nasty little parasite in each and every one… a little hook in the mind that distracts and confuses when the victim nears the truth. Nasty and cruel is the essence of it, this feels like that Skrigg shithead’s work.”

“Ducky, I am loving this side of you… so it's all a trick, all along… is that why the spirits came to the party?” He waved to the shadowy press of luminous, sparkling, dark and occult forms visible beyond his borders.

“Spirits, fae, great and small, they are returning for a peek at their old home, some may wish to return… others are entirely new…” He smiled radiantly at the busy spider, directing the notGary’s at their work.

“Thirp has two cultists in Wheatford now… weaver apprentices who snuck into your bath with their orphan paramores… so touching and human.” He sighed happily and took a float on his back.

“Thirp has cultists? Awesome… does she have like… Contracts with them? That would be so cool…” He burbled excitedly as his bath slowly brought him back to… Normal?

“Exactly so. The Contract that we share is… unique in many ways beyond the obvious. Human clergy have their own variation on the form, based on their natural resonance and compatibility with their deities…” His slender, graceful hands wandered and described elaborate gestures, as the tiny god floated and lectured. “If you were contracted to me or another of my aspects one more time, you would become a cleric yourself.”

“Just as Beast’s children and their shamanic clerics operate on the same basic framework, mortal perceptions and preconceptions can make the simplest thing seem complex… with a little help from that nasty little spell.”

“What we are doing through you, will erode that stranglehold and allow more deities and spirits to… get in the game, as you say.” Marduk swam over and smiled at his cultist. “Off to the real world for you now, we have more work to do and you are in the way.”

He gave the floating man a shove, sending him into natural sleep.

#

The house was jumping when he stumbled out, feeling more awake. Shai was swirling and twirling in her innkeeper guise, radiant and beautiful as she danced among her tables with Becky, Dannyl and strangely enough, Khan.

The mustachioed veteran had a white apron around his waist and a smile, as he carried a fistfull of beer mugs over to a table full of familiar people. Wolf, Coyote and Badger were at a table with Nara, along with an otter man Gary hadn’t met yet.

Villagers mixed and mingled around them with little more than casual interest and curiosity. Shai bustled over and pushed Gary down at the table, taking a seat beside him for herself.

“Mmmm, Gary, this is Reegil, Shaman of the local otter tribe, come to visit and greet. Reegil, I show you Gary, child of Beast, though human in form.” Pogo grumbled in his wolfy voice.

“I see you, Garrry… I call you Reegee, is easier!” He chattered happily, before turning to the badger man seated beside him.

“He does not seem interesting… just another smooth skinned, hairless ape…” He barked and chirped in his own language.

“Apes have ears to hear and tongues to speak…” Becky remarked as she sat down beside the nonplussed otter and smiled coldly.

“Gary will laugh at being called a hairless ape… until the laughter stops.” She watched her prey over her teacup as she drank.

“Becky, we dinnae discomfit our guests… even when they dinnae hae their manners wi them.” Shai cooed, to the otter Shaman, who was trying to figure out how to vanish into his own shadow.

“We warned you…” Pogo the wolf began, through a throaty chuckle. “Coyote warned you this house was mad…”

“No. I didn’t!” Coyote yipped, falling out of his chair, laughing at his mortified friend. “I knew you’d say something stupid…”

He kicked and rolled with glee, even taking a joyous butt scoot on the rug, just to watch the humans freak out a little more.

“I like him… he’s fun!” Gary said to the poor otter, in otter, while Nara tried to pretend that nothing stupid was going on around her.

“No hard feelings… but if you say racist shit to my kids, I’ll tickle your butthole with my boot.” His mad, crooked grin was both cheerful and disturbing.

“So… Pogo, buddy, where is my merchant friend? The one you picked up in Wheatford? I have some questions for him.” Gary said mildly to the wolfman.

“He had no answers to give and will trouble no one in this life anymore… nor will his comrade, whom we caught in the wilds…” The wolfman smiled at that, seeming deeply satisfied.

“Dead, huh? Where did you bury them? I can dig them up and ask…” Gary whispered intently. “They won’t lie to me…”

“Oh no, they live and will continue to live for a while yet; we simply sweetened their dispositions for them… and gave them some honest work to do.” He barked a gleeful laugh. “They serve a queen sugar wasp as her faithful slaves until the end of their days.”

Coyote yipped even more gleefully and scampered over in long legged hops. “Sold them to her for a fair price! It was their bounty we gave you in that pot of wasp honey. Vengeance, so sweet and tasty!”

“The duke said you guys had trouble with those assholes… you don’t mess around. Can they still answer questions?” Shai kicked him under the table, shaking him out of the cold, dead eyed stare he had fallen into.

“Doesn't matter I guess, I’ll summon the leader’s shade when we get back…”

“You do that…?” The otter man asked quietly. “…disturb your dead that way?”

“Not my dead, those assholes, sure.” He smiled warmly. “I have a friend in the reincarnation business, They help me out from time to time. The last guy was an arachnophobe, so that worked out really well. So many spiders…”

“Gary…” Becky warned from across the table. “Ducky says shut your face hole.”

“My god is a little bit scared of ghosts… That part of what I do makes him nervous.” He snuggled in with his woman and smiled stupidly. “Everybody is scared of something… can’t blame him for that.”

“This is fortuitous…” Reegil said quietly. “We have been having some troubles with the dead, human dead. This creates ethical concerns for us you see, not our dead.”

“Undead huh? You have the ape’s attention…” Gary said, haughty and pompous tone rippling with cold, professional detachment. When the Otter man looked over, he was wearing a tight black suit and coat with a white shirt.

A skinny, ribbon bow tie peeked from under his tab collar and a tall, shiny black hat rode on his head. None of his companions remarked on the sudden costume change… none of the villagers wanted to draw the madman’s attention by commenting either.

“Yes… very well. Unquiet shades and the occasional wandering husk come down from an abandoned human keep in the deep marsh. They are a nuisance to dispatch or drive off, but the problem remains unsolved. Perhaps human rites might solve this for us… the reward offered by the deep marsh tribes is not coin… but certain rare minerals and herbs can only be had here…”

“We have a mission and duties assigned currently, give me the details and we will see what can be done.” Liam said firmly. “I am not taking my team into an undead infestation without preparation and planning.”

“Aww… but it could be a dungeon crawl…” Gary whined. “We have two clerics… and a necromancer bard… maybe Rolf wants to come, we could use a paladin.” They all simply tuned him out after a short while.

#

Down in the workshop, Gary was whistling something cheerful as he worked. A broken antique rocking horse rested in clamps, while the glue cured.

Flutes, stringed instruments, dolls and plush animal toys were everywhere, each one fastidiously repaired and tagged with the owner’s name. He tapped the last wooden dowel onto the toy horsie’s left rocker and snugged the final clamp with a smile. “Who’s the farrier now, Shai?” He asked the empty room.

Xyll the ghost bat landed on his shoulder with no weight at all and chirped softly in a key not meant for mortal ears.

“Nahh, everybody else is sleeping. They aren’t night owls like us. Let’s go get a snack.” He followed her up and out into the garden.

“Liam! You’re up…” His brother looked up with a sleepy smile and closed eyes. He was in pajamas and wielding a kitchen serving spoon as a trowel. “Ok, you aren’t really up at all… are you?”

He took Liam by the shoulders and gently guided him back into the house. Tawny met them at the door, in her golden nightgown.

“Sleepwalking is new… Liam has been troubled by strange thoughts and dreams of late. That wolf song he performed on the road through the desert… do you know it?”

“Warren Zevon, ‘Werewolves of London’... it’s beyond classic.” He sighed happily while helping his mostly unconscious brother wash his hands.

“We should do that one again soon… add ‘Shambala’ by Three Dog Night to that set list… ‘No Sugar Tonight’, gotta have The Guess Who in that…”

“Did you teach him that song, Gary? I think I would have remembered my man howling like that before.” She asked soberly.

“No… I haven’t played it in this world, not even practiced here, I never even whistled it… that is weird.” Gary mumbled thoughtfully, while putting his leader to bed and tucking them both in with a kiss on the forehead.

“So many things are changing in him, in all of us. Perhaps it is time I meet your spider friend… may I discuss this with Shai?”

“Uhh… Yeah sure, Ivy and Tallum have the ring, if need be I can make a new one… I would rather not though. One is worrisome enough.”

“Good night Gary…” She said sleepily before rolling over into Liam’s arms and falling fast asleep.

“We never did get that snack…” He followed Xyll out into the garden, whistling softly and letting out gentle howls.

I saw a werewolf drinkin' a piña colada at Trader Vic's…

His hair was perfect

Awooooo!

#

Their morning run with the whole crew rattled the sleepy village, still battered from two nights of utter madness. Fog and mist hung heavy, with dawn just cracking over the mountains… somewhere in the gray nimbus.

“Where to next? What’s the next job?” Gary asked, still worn and sleepy from the day before and a night of little rest. “I could take a day off. There's a lot of plants and things to touch out there…”

“That is a fine idea… Grandmother Ummas offered us a tour of her herb garden and her favorite spots in the marsh for mosses, fungi and algae.” Liam leaned forward over a bowl of steamed grains and chopped fruit with yogurt.

“Her brewing skills are highly regarded as well, that gooseberry cordial last night was hers…” Liam’s smile sparked Tawny giggling at some remembered foolishness.

“Sounds boring…” Becky sighed. “I love it.”

#