Ch: 40 Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Gary climbed out of the pool, clutching a small form close to his chest. “Tawny, get over here!” A blanket draped table appeared and he placed his burden down gently.

A soft, wailing cry erupted from a tiny child, as a dark stain spread over the blanket. “Help!” Gary almost screamed, in a panic.

That broke the crowd free of their horror stricken paralysis, Tawny almost flew to his side. Otho and Tony moved closer as well.

The giant knight watched the slowly roiling green water carefully, as though some abomination might rise from the depths.

Otho joined Tawny at the table, while Shai fretted over her man and the tiny child he seemed to have conjured from beyond.

“A child Gary, how does this…” Shai began, until he pulled her close and shushed her.

“I was surprised too, though it makes sense.” He whispered. “There have to be more, so many more…”

Gary was almost growling with fury as he fell silent, fuming naked on a chaise lounge in his yard, while Tawny worked on the wounded baby.

“The child will recover, her injuries were minor. Gary can now explain where an infant girl came from and where the tax assessor went.” Tawny announced. “Though you should dress first.”

Otho was holding the tiny bundled form and looking furious at everyone and everything that was not a baby in a blanket.

“Bringing a child into a fracas like this! Gary, I am appalled at your poor judgment and lack of care. Truly, inconceivable… where did you even find this poor waif? Certainly not one of mine…” Otho stuttered to a stop, seeming distracted.

Tony seemed in similar straits, his eyes were unfocused and concern followed distress across his face.

After a moment Otho began quietly. “Lady Joy instructs me to trust Gary in this matter, justiciar Thelonius.” Otho looked as though he had a mouth full of salt as he spoke.

“In this he has my full faith and that of my goddess.” He said softly, still cradling the child close. “I am instructed to take this child in as one of our own. Please record her name as Amy, Amy Ward.”

Gary started at that, glancing at Otho who shrugged. “You pulled her from the void, so lady Joy informs me. As the law is written, you are a father now.” A bittersweet smile crossed his gentle features.

“As an orphan, any child born to you before the end of your indenture is also an orphan, sadly. Even after your indenture ends, you will need to purchase her debt of care contract from the state and adopt her legally.”

“Wait, what? What? What the fuck!?” Gary snapped softly, mindful of the child in Otho’s arms…

“No, Gimme. Mine!” He held out his arms and glared at the old man. “She’s mine. Give. Her. Back.” Gary advanced on Otho, the light in his eyes was dangerous and manic.

Tony moved to intercept him and found himself rooted in place by twining vines drooping with huge white flowers.

As though they were sentient, the blossoms began dusting his face with enormous clouds of flaky white pollen, burying the knight’s helm and filling it to capacity.

Tony’s struggles weakened and stopped quickly, replaced by deep, sonorous snoring.

“Give me my property Otho, I did not sell a slave to you. She’s mine you say. Mine.” His hands were opening and closing in spastic twitching movments, while his eyes blazed wildly. “Give me my property master Otho. You really want to, I can tell.”

The old man backed through the garden, clutching his bundle close. “Gary, it is the law, even my lady Joy cannot violate the law…” He backpedaled faster from his naked pursuer.

“Find a way Otho, none of mine are going to War, starting here and now. If she joins War, it’s because she chooses.”

In the shadow of the carriage house, a massive brown body stamped delicately in the door, blocking it from opening with her shoulder. Behind the enormous horse, Luna and Khan were beating on the gate.

“Annie! Open this door now!” Khan shouted.

When Otho approached holding the child, Annie glared distrustfully and chuffed air through her nostrils at him, blocking the door even more firmly.

Finally, Gary cornered the old man, plucking the bundle from his hands so gently it took a moment for Otho to realize he had been robbed.

Gary was already gone, just a pair of ghost white buttcheeks vanishing in the winter afternoon gloom.

After a moment, the gate creaked open just enough for Khan and Luna to slip in. Annie stood unabashed, snuffling and batting her ridiculous eyelashes at everyone, including a still dazed Otho.

Latching the gate to keep the crowd of curious Adventure guild residents out, Luna turned on the old man. “What happened here master Otho? We were in the tailor’s shop when the commotion started.” She demanded.

“I honestly have no idea… there was a ducal tax officer, then Gary drowned them… Gary ate a few dozen undead hands and gave birth to a child while I watched.”

The couple led a dazed Otho to the common room, guiding him by the shoulders. Today he looked his age, all three hundred and who knows how many.

Gary and Becky sat on either side of Shai, while she held the child close and glared at Otho fiercely whenever he moved.

“Shai, Becky and I got some bad news during our trip. We are a little put out with some of the pantheon as well and have made our displeasure known. Consider this an apology for my behavior.” Gary said cooly, his gaze remarkably steady despite being exhausted and naked.

“I will need to apologize again if you try and take her Otho.” He barked softly when the old priest reached out to Shai’s charge.

“You cannot care for her Gary, your chances of escaping indenture are already slim. Adding a child to that is a recipe for disaster, even discounting the innate risks of the life of an Adventurer.”

“I know I can’t care for a child on the road, I cant let her be sold into slavery either. I’m in negotiations with the pantheon, they have been informed that nothing of mine is for them, until they deal in good faith. She is mine, you said so.”

A quiet clanging sound suggested that Tony was awake and displeased. “As of right now, the state has done nothing for her, she does not officially exist. That is how things stay until I get my demands met.”

The enraged and still woozy knight stomped right up to the doorway and glared at Gary from the threshold. “Come in Tony, but shush, Amy is sleeping.” The madman said with a smile.

“Gary, you have human flesh caught in your teeth, again.” He said, while struggling to remove his boots.

“I think that is going to be a recurring theme in our relationship.” Gary said as he rose to help the big man with his armor. “Shai has her hands full. Hey Tallum, help out please? I dunno how these tin cans go together.”

Becky was in the kitchen with Ivy, cooking a tiny pot of some kind of rice porridge under Dannyl’s instruction. Shai had the baby tucked in tight to her bosom, rocking back and forth and was not likely to share any time soon.

When Tony was in a robe and the pollen had been shaken out of his armor and padded underthings, he sat down near Shai and waited for an explanation to arrive.

Otho seemed far less phlegmatic about the events of the morning. Wrapped in a blanket, clutching a mug of tea like it was his last anchor to familiar reality, he had a shell shocked look in his eyes.

Gary eased into the sofa beside Shai and Amy with a grateful sigh. “Busy morning, I didn’t get a nap like Tony…”

“You rely on my goodwill perhaps too much Gary. My brethren are not all as patient as I.” Tony said quietly. “It is a serious crime to resist and drug an officer of the law.”

“Since your boss was telling you to murder me and my family, I think I was very measured in my response...” Gary said very slowly and carefully.

“And since your boss turned out to be an eldtritch abomination from beyond reality, formed of the tortured bodies and souls of innocent people trapped in eternal torment and slavery… I’m good with what happened here.”

He cocked an eyebrow at Tony and Otho. “How about you guys? Ready to listen or are you planning to follow orders from creepy undead monstrosities?”

Both men nodded and waited patiently for an explanation in silence.

Gary opened his mouth, closed it and scratched his head. “Well that’s embarrassing.” He murmured. “I forgot, I don’t have all the answers yet. Let me bring in an expert.” He closed his eyes briefly, opening them again with a gasp.

#

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“Oh my… Gary, please stop shoving me about… who am I talking to?” Gary’s face said, looking sour. “Becky, please tell Gary and Shai to stop shoving me about.” He complained in a voice slightly higher and more cultured than Gary’s usual.

“I am a deity, not ‘your buddy on a road trip who can totally take the wheel even though he doesn't have a license’.” He took on a mocking caricature of Gary’s singsong accent while quoting himself.

He turned a mildly amused gaze onto the assembled crowd. “Oh, so many mortals, how delightful. Is that Tallum, my next worshiper?” He asked excitedly, pointing at Dannyl.

“No, Tallum is the big one that isn’t in a robe.” Becky supplied helpfully, while the ginger colossus waved shyly. “Guys, this is the god Knowledge, he is going to explain some of the finer points while Gary has a nap.”

Poor Otho hung his head and concentrated on breathing deeply for a few minutes, while Tony considered whether this was some elaborate prank by the college.

Gary leaned over and peered in at the tiny bundle in Shai’s arms. “Ohh yes, this one will be for me, I can already see that.” Gary ambled over to Tallum in a loose limbed and awkward gait, almost falling several times.

“Hello journeyman Tallum!” Gary peered closely at him in a very spooky way, as though he were trying to figure out exactly how eyeballs worked.

“I see brother Craft has made himself at home in what should have been mine. I will be taking him to task for that shortly, never fear. At least, as soon as he, Order and War stop hiding from me. I see you in there brother. I will have my answers!”

He turned on Tony, facing him with a serious mein that Gary could never manage. “Order is aware of what is occurring, yet declines to meet with myself, Beast or Joy.” He said with more gravitas than the musician could manage in a thousand lifetimes.

“Forgive me mortal, this is going to be embarrassing for us both.” He said to Tony, before staring past his face and shouting.

“Brother Order, you stop hiding from me this instant and perhaps we can come to an arrangement… and you know this one should have had at least one bond with Joy! I step away for a few millennia and you let everything go to the void…”

Tony took the surreal abuse stoically, while contemplating the life choices that brought him here.

When Tony looked up, Gary was over with an increasingly frantic Otho. “Ohh my, yes! Sweet sister Joy’s favorite! I see what she loves in you. So naughty.” Watching Gary interact with Otho as though the venerable elder were a child was simply too much.

“If we might continue please, I must figure out some way to report this… event?” Tony groaned, while his scarred eye throbbed angrily.

“Yes, quite correct Tony… I can call you Tony yes?” He said, this being had more charm than Gary as well.

“Over the last hundred millennia, a race of mysterious beings has infiltrated this world from another, bringing exciting magic and new life to a slowly dying world. This, slowly dying world.” He said, looking about the room, meeting each listener’s eyes.

“Gary is one such, this small child is another. There are many more scattered around the world, in their thousands. Each breathing life and magic into the husk of a world that had been winding down.”

He smiled at the bundle in Shai’s arms, radiating a physical sense of immense age. “They come from a world barren of magic, yet rich with life. So much life that we, the gods of this world, tethered our realm to theirs, that we might continue to exist, sustaining this domain on the magical excess of that world’s souls.” He smiled again. “This was my proudest working, I caused our worlds to orbit each other, not in space, but in time.”

“At a certain point in their history, Gary’s world developed the ability to transform matter into energy with purely mundane means, a horrifying idea... This ruptured the etheric veil, creating a pivot point for my… well the details are irrelevant to you.” He smiled sheepishly, suddenly seeming like a small boy. “I get carried away.”

“In any case, some souls have a higher concentration of innate magic. Such souls naturally draw breaks and fissures in the veil to themselves. They adhere to those souls and at the moment of their death in Gary’s world, cause them to pop through the veil into this one. They are simply following or creating a natural connection between our realms, to which they remain fixed until death; whereupon, a new soul will inhabit the void.”

He spread his arms to encompass the whole room. “Each one of you has soaked in the magical runoff from one such rupture in reality.”

“Gary’s just happens to be unusual in two ways. First, it is abnormally large and stable, though not dangerously so.”

“Second, it seems to have affinity for souls at or near physical maturity, where most can only accept infants.”

Otho perked up at that. “Zygnos was in his mid twenties when he was transported here, though he never met another such. Yet you say there should be many wandering the world?” Otho looked deeply concerned on several levels and in need of a nap.

“Master Otho, Gary is warning me that some secrets are not mine to tell… he seems rather adamant on that.” Gary’s face winced uncomfortably. “Let me just remind you that Gary and Zygnos are not the only outworlders you have met.

They are not easy to distinguish from normal humans and usually appear as infants lost in the world. Like this one and some others.” He reached out and caressed the bundle Shai held.

“We tethered our realm to hers in time, we orbit the temporal space just before their world expanded into other realms on their own, discovering the multiverse in its wonders and terrors.” He sighed wistfully.

“Sadly, your civilization does not long survive contact with the wider universe, only a few thousand years. Though your legacy is this world, still spinning through the timeless void even after so very long.”

“Gary did say that Zygnos was born only a few decades before him by their calendar, despite Zygnos being near three hundred when he died. Temporal distortion…” Otho began murmuring to himself and making notes.

“If one thing is constant, throughout the universe, if someone finds a good deal, someone else is going to try and get their fingers in the pie. This brings us to the Hollow Ones.” Gary’s body was starting to look a little shaky.

“That thing that dissolved so unpleasantly in the pool was a victim as much as any, perhaps more so. A race of beings from another reality has decided to pick our collective pockets in a very distasteful way.”

“We tethered ourselves in time, to cause the least interference with Gary’s world, simply to absorb their etheric excess. When the veil fractured, we accepted a few souls as well, giving them a new life here. Only those who die terribly young have that slim chance.”

“They seek to capture entities who are attached to stable etheric voids, like Gary and this child, in order to use them for their own ends. Each of those grasping hands and body parts was a remnant of one of the previous souls attached to this child’s etheric void.”

“Locked in torment and subservience to their dark master in life and after death. Without our interference, after a few brief years of slavery inside that prison, this child’s disembodied arm and tortured soul would have joined in imprisoning the next soul to slip through the void.”

Shai growled at Gary while holding her burden tight. “How then be yer use o unsuspecting babes so much better than theirs? Did ye nae drag me boy through, leaving him dead by the roadside?” She snarled quietly.

“Not at all, I was curious so I dug around in places where he cannot look, just a little. Gary died that rainy night, along with his family.” The being seemed rather pleased with himself for some reason.

“He would not fit through the void until he could resonate with it adequately. The chaotic and rejuvenating essence of the void kept him almost completely alive that entire time, much as the void fueled that undead abomination.” Gary steepled his fingers under his chin thoughtfully, an adverb rarely applied to the usual occupant of that body.

“A self willed undead, fueled by the chaos of the void, wandering alone in a world barren of magic, while his gifts attempted to manifest in a vacuum…” The being inhabiting Gary shook his head in dismay. “When he was ‘ripe’ if you will, it simply popped him through. Fascinating…”

“So what do these things want?” Tawny asked, sounding shaken.

“They want what we all want, to continue to exist. Though they are willing to pay a much higher price for that than many other life forms would accept.” He said cryptically.

He wobbled a little, before recovering. “Gary is at his limit, do try and be nice when he wakes up, he really liked that guitar.”

#

When Gary woke he was in the grotto beside Shai and Amy. This was his first good look at her and she was perfect, she had a tiny button nose and her big brown eyes followed him as he got up. She had dusky skin and a short shock of black hair that curled into tight ringlets around her tiny ears. Her eyes fluttered closed and she went back to sleep in Shai’s arms.

She was twisted up so tight to Shai’s pale form, he felt the need to check that the baby was not being squished by his mighty woman. He left the girls there, fast asleep and staggered out to face Tony and the gang.

He sagged onto a couch by the fire, while Becky slipped him a huge cup of tea with enough honey to make his ears ring.

“Thanks Becks, Shai and your niece are still napping.” She grinned so wide her beads clattered at that and settled in beside him.

The mob of curious faces had grown, Amicus was there, as was Naiomi of healer, soaking in the bath with a still harried looking Otho.

All the bathers were there, even Aisha. Mikkel and Hanna were lurking in the steamy depths of the pool as well.

They had the good grace to wait until he was halfway through his tea and gnawing on a biscuit like a stray dog, to fire questions at him.

“Where did that child come from?” Otho demanded. “Lady Joy says only that she was plucked from the void.”

“She was, just like me. Just like me. You watched it happen. The construct tapping her etheric void came undone in my pool, she slipped free while the gate was open. It’s hers now, while they move on to whatever is next.”

“What about the law? She must be taken into the orphanage by law, it is… the law!” Otho said.

“Indeed, I may overlook the acts taken against myself, but I cannot allow you to flagrantly violate sacred law in this way.” Tony said, his gravitas weakened by his short green robe and bunny slippers.

“Tony, Otho, I’ve come here to break your law. I will shatter it even if I have to use my own bones to stop the gears of your stupid engine of war. Deal with that.” He snorted.

“You can worry about my Amy, or maybe you should wonder why your asshole duke has undead shitbags working for him? I might poke around in his palace and see what vermin I flush out.”

Gary hugged Becky close. “Never trust rich people, they always suck.” He growled. “Those noble cunts know about us now. Time to step things up.”

“Hey Tony, can I challenge your duke to a duel? Is that a thing?” Gary asked. “I could really go for a murder based solution to this problem right now, I’m feeling stabby.”

“No. I will assume that was said in jest, though in very poor taste. We do not use violence to solve problems.” Tony said archly, seething with disapproval.

“You can take the moral highground while trying to sell an infant into slavery? Wow, I had no idea you were so flexible… ethically.” Gary snarled right back. “You see a cute tiny baby and all you think is ‘I can child soldier the fuck out of that one!’ Not cool Tony. Not cool.”

“Tony, Gary, this is getting us nowhere!” Tawny barked, startling them both. “Gary, the duke is not in the habit of treating with… whatever that thing was, I can assure you.”

“Just because you lance a rich guy’s butt boils, doesn’t mean he's not still a festering anus. Sometimes they are all anus, all the way through.” Gary grumbled. “Fuck that guy.”

“I am certain there is some reasonable explanation for that thing and the child… the duke would never…” Tawny stammered.

“It’s no coincidence that your shitty orphanage and indenture system is designed to scoop up kids like me and… Amy and feed us to those shitbags.”

Gary let a little too much fury boil over, making the pool water rise suddenly. “The question is, who is the puppet master and where are his puppets.” He snarled, even more agitation bubbling to the surface.

“Those puppets are mine, every one, I will cut their strings and bring them all home.”

Gary stood, stretched and summoned his new armor and strange baton, conjuring them around himself. “I’m off to see the duke. I might kick his ass. Toodles.”

He turned to go out the door, jingling his weird baton in a way that somehow was cheerful and also drenched in bloodlust.

The door slammed closed as he approached, flung by Tawny, who planted her tiny golden backside against it, just as Annie had in the stable.

Gary chuckled happily at that thought, before picking up the woman and moving her aside gently. “I’m not setting out to do any killing Tawny, but he sent a monster to my home to murder my family. That’s a paddling at best.”

“I gotta scoot, Tony is planning to stop me, but I stole all his clothes, all Tallums too. That should buy me long enough to fuck his dukeness’ shit up.” He said with a wink.

“Gary, if you have any respect or care for me as a friend and comrade, you will sit down right now.” Tawny snapped. “And dismiss that ridiculous panoply, you look like a hideous bug.”

While Tony searched frantically for a stitch of real clothing that could cover his frame, Gary sat down with a sigh. “Yeah, that would probably just be suicide with a few extra steps. I don’t wanna give them the satisfaction.”

“I guess we run. Try and stall them till we get out of town please.” Gary whispered to Tawny, then he stood, once more in normal clothes. “Becky, wake Shai… we have an errand in the craft ward… bring Amy too.” He said, looking incredibly shifty.

“You are not going to run either, Gary. I will speak to my father of this and resolve it.” Tawny announced.

“Great, while you do that, we will be hot footing it for no man’s land. You know they will never catch us, tell them to let us go. I don’t wanna kill anybody.”

“The duke is my father Gary, I am his heir. You have nothing to fear from him.” Tawny said, bracing as if for a storm.

Instead she got silence. He stared at her calmly for a few seconds, nodded once and walked back inside. “Shai! Becky, Move it, we’re out. Don’t bother packing.”

As he spoke, vines and creepers began entangling Tony, who was struggling into Tallum’s still warm pants.

Ivy was standing by looking disappointed in her man.

“There is no law that allows Order to commandeer your pants Tallum, stop simping for authority, it’s really unattractive.” Ivy winked, then reached out a foot and stepped on the struggling knight’s trailing pant leg, tripping him into the mass of vines.

Tawny was pursuing Gary as he went to get his family together. “Gary stop, you don’t have to run. My father will sort this out…”

He had a bleary eyed Shai under way and Becky trotted along with Amy, headed for the front door.

Vines, shrubs and even a few small trees sprang up, plugging every doorway and window, trapping the occupants inside while the small group fled out the main entrance.

“Just stroll along like nothing is happening, I’ll unsummon the house once we get clear.” Gary whispered. “We make a run for the coast, try and hop on Esperanza. Falco will lead her to us.”

On the patio they bumped into a platoon of armored warriors led by a Justiciar knight who did not seem inclined to talk overmuch.

“Surrender for judgment citizens, by order of the duke.” Came the cool, calm voice of the armored knight.