Ch: 26.5 What Happens in the Stable
Finding a troop of horse and rousting them from their barracks would have been easy and satisfying, but misery loves company and Brennan was feeling gregarious. For this task he needed the right troop, finding them would take most of the night.
Among the whorehouses and taverns of the dock ward he found them. Malus and Bran were drunk and naked, buried under a small pile of whores. They were enthusiastic, but not selective when they felt the itch. He kicked the closest exposed body part and roused the whole heap.
He ignored the skinny whore’s complaints over being kicked in the tit. “Up you two, we ride at first bell. Find the rest.” As he left, the sounds of bare hands swatting naked sleeping asses amused him, as his men struggled to extricate themselves.
He slammed the door of the shabby inn room and thundered down the stairs, shaking the whole structure, just to make sure the whole place was having a shit morning too. Maybe the afternoon would turn out better. He might just get a chance at that smith and skinny waif yet.
At first glance his troopers were unremarkable, six warriors in the armor of mainline War cultists. They straddled a motley assortment of ponies and plow beasts, local patrols had to make do with whatever crowbait was available.
At least he had a decent mount, a splendid dark mare with white socks and a biddable attitude. The miserable beast had no spirit though, it followed his commands with or without spurs or crop. He used them anyway, naturally.
He detailed his groom with leading Winslow. “Damage that beast and I will pull your balls out through your asshole, Levin.” Corporal Bran growled.
They cantered out just after first bell, riding in silence until they left inhabited territory. At dawn they heeled up on a low hill looking over the shore road.
“We are looking for a band of greenie Adventurers, they have a priestess of Healer with them, she is not to be touched.” He barked. “You will follow my instructions carefully.”
Fallon dearly hoped that ‘or else’ would be understood. The quality of local goons and minions was lamentable. He would have to address that when he became barron… or better yet duke.
“They are on foot with a dog cart, we should catch them before midday. Malus, choose a scout. Do not allow yourselves to be seen until we are ready.”
Fallon hated managing commoners. They never seemed to understand instructions without a beating or two to seat the lesson.
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Gary regretted missing Port Fallon, the jumbled impressions he got were chaotic and dirty. It seemed so familiar, like he could slip into those filthy streets and vanish again. Shai would never come along, she was a collar, binding him to Wheatford and wherever she wandered next. But what fine and comfortable collar it was.
Sulking in the early hours of the day was becoming a habit since he caught the Pimp Hand. Even now it felt like his guts were being pulled through a knothole, it made him moody and cross.
Khan and his new lady friend were soaking nearby, trying to pretend they were not all over each other. That was annoying today too. He had tried working in the shop, just a little when no one was looking. He ran out of gas so fast it was embarrassing, even worse he had to interrupt those two.
It had to be done, if Shai had found out he was moving around unsupervised… Now it was finished though, his finest work to date. Just in time too, he felt the Bathers beginning to stir, smelling the coffee he had started before splashing down.
Shai looked better than she had in days, her eyes were less red and puffy and she had almost combed her hair without Becky’s assistance.
Gary lifted one hand from the water and shot the gang a thumbs up. “Thanks gang, I should be fine now.” He croaked, receiving a chorus of boos and hisses in return.
“You'll see… they said I was mad at the university…” He cackled madly, before slipping away again.
“He is not inspiring confidence, Khan.” Luna whispered.
Breakfast was a lovely affair. Annie slipped her head in a window that Luna was certain had not been there a moment before and joined them at the table.
Oats and apples were served to all, some were cooked, some were not. Except Otho, he had a slice of crawfish. When the meal was done, Shai helped Gary out of the pool and began dressing him carefully.
“Ye would wear yer arming coat? Ye hae nae breastplate, twas cut in half boy.” Shai scolded, when he handed her the padded shirt he wore under his armor.
She tucked him into it as though his bones were made of spun sugar and children's dreams, until Becky came over and complained. “Just stuff him into a roll of blankets.”
He stood there, swaying slowly and trying to draw enough breath to explain for a moment, before giving up and just looking pitiful. “Aye, ye shall be warm at least.” Shai said, glaring at Becky as she backed off
It took a little work to get his swollen midsection buttoned in, but his posture eased when it was snug.
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When she thought he was ready to go in the cart, he handed her a strange object, with that same breathless pleading look.
“Ye do be mad after all. Whae did ye save that useless thing and what have ye done?” Shaking her head, she began buckling the terrible thing onto her madman.
When she was done, the trembling wreck stepped outside, leaning on a cane of dull gray wood with a bronze handle.
This was Luna’s first time seeing him truly mobile, and it was horrifying. His face was ashen and yellow at the same time, like cheap candle wax.
He trembled visibly and struggled to remain upright when not in motion. When he walked, it was faltering and slow, seeming to fall and catch himself on his cane with each toddering step.
Most bizarre was his garb. Common pants and boots were the epitome of ordinary, his warm winter cap seemed well made and had a cheery yellow pom pom at the crown. In between lay madness.
A breastplate of bullhide with a horrible rent in the left side had been carefully stitched back together with sinew or gut. Even stranger, plaques of wood and metal were mounted to the torso, standing off on strange bolts and leather spacers. making it rigid and bulky.
“Shai,” He gasped. “can you buckle it tighter? Really tight?” The poor woman stepped up and cinched his buckles so tight, the leather creaked like an old barn door.
“Ohh yeah, that's better!” He said, still hoarse and quiet but audible. He stood straighter, took a deeper, shallow gasping breath and smiled.
“Gary, what is that monstrosity?” Ivy asked.
“This monstrosity is going to keep my guts from falling onto my shoes and help me breathe. The rest is just for the kicks.” He wheezed
With a flourish he produced a pair of wooden mallets the size and shape of dandelion tufts. He ran the sticks over his chest, hitting the plaques crisply…
…and music tumbled out, percussive and sweet. Each plaque was a different metal or wood and a unique size and shape. Almost involuntarily, Luna began to tap her toes and sway to the beat. It was madness, most sublime and hysterical.
It was also loud, really loud, louder than anything that size could possibly be. The sound came from everywhere it seemed, wrapping her up in a strange embrace that was comforting and warm, yet demanded action.
Shai the smith was already dancing, swapping her feet side to side in leaping arcs. With arms clasped above her head, she shimmied in a wild spin before kicking and leaping away again like some untamed forest creature.
Luna only realized she was dancing down the road, when Khan took her hands and spun her into the arms of the red haired giant.
When the song ended, Luna sank to a boulder and gasped for breath. “We should pack up and get underway.” She said, while struggling to get her breathing back under control.
“Not till after lunch.” Khan said firmly, wheezing and doubled over.
“Can’t spend half a day with our thumbs up, if that boy says he can travel, we should march.” She grunted as she stood up straight. “If he can’t keep up, throw him in the cart.”
“Relax Luna, we will be in Port Ellis before you know it.” He said with that grin she knew so well. She looked around, leery of whatever prank he might have led her into.
The inland sea stretched off to the mountains, barely visible in the haze. The Shore Road wound along, hugging the shore in places, but usually separated by a strip of open grassland. Across the wide gravel road was light forest and the occasional stone foundation, indicating past habitation.
Just up the way a wide stone bridge carried the road across a river. “Is that Wray’s bridge?” Luna asked.
“Yes!” Khan said, grinning even more widely.
“Wray’s bridge is a day and half from Port Fallon.” She said. “By fast horse”
“Yes!” He said.
“Smiling that hard must be painful.” She said, smiling in return.
“Yes!” He said. Beginning to look uncomfortable.
“How committed to this bit are you Khan?” She asked so sweetly it hurt a little.
“Very!” He said, his lips and nose beginning to go pale.
“So if I keep dancing around the question…?” She almost whispered, fascinated by this new game.
“Please… I can’t feel my cheeks and my teeth are dry.” He said, somehow sounding enthusiastic and pained.
“Oh very well.” She said, assuming a shocked and mystified expression and swooning onto a nearby boulder. “How can this be?” She gaped in wide wonder and gasped; “Perhaps that girl used her gift to dance us all the way here because they are very strangely magical?”
She whomped him across the tummy with a forearm. “You have been saying they are stupid magical all this time. Do you think I'm daft?”
“I like her!” Gary said with obvious joy. “Khan, you have to keep her around… Wait, Annie! You have to keep her around!” The boy was still playing his ridiculous armor, tinkling away at much reduced volume. He sounded like wind chimes on a breezy summer day.
He shambled out into a pleasant section of grassland and began to pick up the pace on his strange cobbled together instrument.
It was… ‘plunky and bright’ that was the only way to describe the odd exotic rhythm he hammered from his own chest. It swayed and bounced like a small boat on a big ocean.
He began a singsong chant in a strange cadence along with his beat. Harmonizing and playing his own counterpoint.
Shake shake shake senora,
Shake your body line!
Shake shake shake!
Shake it all the time!
The slim girl with the beads and the smith went wild. Like possessed women, they began frolicking so aggressively she worried they might injure themselves.
When they began grabbing the men and pulling them into the wild melee Luna decided to just ‘Jump In The Line’ and shake her body in time.
#
Fallon’s riders cantered along for the entire morning, edging their animals to the point of exhaustion before dismounting and walking the poor things.
They paused at midday to graze and water the beasts, while Malus and another trooper examined the roadway.
The short squat trooper lived up to his name, he claimed it was some exotic foreign word for hammer.
He had a face like a hammer, fists like hammers, and if Fallon ever saw him without those iron shod boots, he was sure the brute would have little hammer toes. That thought made him smile.
The thought of what his favorite band of villains would do to those greenies if he let them loose was nice too.
Khan seemed so upright and by the book when the officers and clergy were around… Fallon knew, Khan had been fucking his second since before he became patrol leader even.
Then Khan had the gall to run and tell his uncle about a few whores or might as well be whores his men happened to tumble. Who cares if War’s best took what they needed from the common filth.
“My lord, a dog cart passed this way, perhaps at dawn. Jeng says there is an odd patch of soil here, he keeps nattering about beans and squash. Can’t get the farmer out of him yet.” Malus was a chatty soul… a brute and as vicious as you like, but the man was a gossip.
“Malus, shut up. If that cart passed at dawn they are just ahead, they must have marched half the night. Get the men moving. On foot, lead your horses, quicktime!”
The tired men collected their mounts and removed their hobbles quickly. Within minutes of his order they were jog-marching down the road, horses jingling after.
Five godsdamned hours they ran, certain they would catch the greenies just over the next rise. Each time the temptation to mount became too great, Malus or Jeng found some hint that they were close.
Wheel tracks, or fresh dog piss, horseapples so enormous they could only come from that monster’s butthole. Still they found no sign of their quarry.
#
“Are they still behind us?” Tawny asked, her growing concern evident despite the veil she now wore continually.
“Yes, still a couple miles off. They look worn out, but their horses are fresh.” Luna reported. Somehow this Tawny, even under the veil, she exuded calm and authority.
Tawny frowned, creasing her golden face in unnatural ways. “If they are not riding that means they are up to no good. Tell Gary and Shai to make the wall extra pointy tonight.”
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