Ch: 146 Private Dancer
“We all know that just simply can’t be.” Jaspreet said firmly. “None should know better than you, high priestess Naiomi.”
The group of powerful women gathered in the duke’s private sitting room were overjoyed and excited.
“Yes, it is absolutely impossible. I performed the needed surgeries myself.” The aged healer’s words said one thing, while the rest of her was drenched in excited amused and ecstatic emotions. “I confirmed Tawny’s findings myself, she was correct, as always. You are pregnant.”
The ancient woman preened and stretched, with a satisfied smile on her face. “You conceived precisely three days ago, I think you can pinpoint the circumstances.”
Tawny pleaded gently with the frazzled and confused woman. “Auntie Jaspreet, You know I would never play such a cruel trick… Embrace the impossibility, I have had to come to grips with a fair amount of that lately myself.”
Celeste Joined the fray, having confirmed both her daughter and great great grandmother’s findings herself.
“Your early onset of symptoms is a result of vast and impossible changes throughout your body. This is unprecedented…” Slowly, the duchess’ smile faded a little.
“Tawny… are you suggesting that your silly pet orphan had something to do with this miracle?”
Tawny’s golden smile lost some of its luster as her gaze hardened. “My friends and companions have earned some measure of courtesy, I think… mother.” She turned back to the confused, but excited bride.
“Tonight, however, we celebrate with my beloved auntie, who will come to her own conclusions about her current condition, in her own time.”
“Impossible…” She muttered from her seat by the fire.
“Mortals do enjoy using that word…” Plumeria whispered softly. The dryad was seated on the arm of Jaspreet’s chair, swinging her dainty, purple and gold slippered feet happily.
“Over the eons, I have witnessed far less complex beings perform far more complex transformations, with far less cause.”
The stressed noblewoman let out a conservative, self controlled shriek of mild fright and jumped only most of the way out of her chair.
“Lady Jaspreet, this is lady Plumeria, dryad of the plum grove. Plumeria, this is my auntie Jaspreet, she is a newly expectant mother, as I’m sure you gathered…” Tawny’s soothing voice calmed the duchess to be, quickly.
“You met her cousin, Solange, the Magnolia Grandiflora, a few days ago.”
“That tiny woman was a dryad? This tiny woman is a dryad?” She was having a very challenging few days…
“My friends throw the best parties… everyone wants an invitation…” Plumeria shrugged.
#
Dukes Mubarak and Holloman walked together past the dimly lit garden, past the seemingly vacant and closed up house. A vague sense of unease and unwelcomeness embraced anyone who strayed from the well lit path, into the shady garden.
“Unbelievable…” Holloman complained. “I followed you in, thus it’s your fault that we have to walk in this humiliating way.”
“Oh ho! So you did follow me in… as such you shall follow me in precedence!” Abed crowed, feeling much relieved.
“As for your humiliating walk, that is a matter of posture and carriage… your grace. I can help you work on that during this visit…” Gunnar Shah stepped from the shadows under a loquat tree and joined the procession.
“Gunnar!” Abed whooped in an undignified manner, but dignity was a forlorn and distant memory at that point. The two men embraced fondly, slipping into an easy camaraderie.
“Celeste and Jaspreet asked me to wait for you… Leopold found the whole situation entertaining.” The devilishly handsome barber said, with a smile that made the lamps shine a little brighter.
“Duke Belen asked me to wait for you both actually…” He added, extending his smile to duke Holloman. “Though his instructions were less welcoming.”
“And they were..?” Lucian Holloman asked, with a much aggrieved sigh.
“Your graces… if we might distance ourselves for a more private discussion…” He hinted, looking to the cluster of ducal bodyguards marching in formation behind them. Both noblemen signaled their retainers, Abed with a subtle hand sign, while Lucius just shooed his guardians back with an exasperated huff and wave.
When they had a discrete distance between themselves and the dozen or so armed and armored men and women, Gunnar spoke quietly:
“My lords, duke Belen has asked me to tell you this, my apologies. He says: ‘If you choose to approach my mad wizard, you do so on your own initiative and at your own peril. I will defend neither your honor nor dignity, should you come into conflict with him. Moreover, should yourselves or your forces attempt any… funny business, it will end poorly.’ My lords.”
“How remarkably heavy handed and graceless.” Abed sneered softly. “Infuriating, to say the least…”
“My brother duke… your own maternal grandmother was an Adventurer, raised to the nobility by marriage. Snobbery is never in style.” Lucius added in, not at all helpfully.
“I’ll not take fashion advice from a man dressed in a commoner’s attire. What are you wearing?” Abed demanded.
“Yes that is concerning, but your hair…” Gunnar complained.
“This is the latest fashion… stifling cloth of gold and scratchy underthings have gone by the wayside… among those who are in the know.” He preened, adjusting the fold of his collar just so.
“Sadly, my barber retired and left me in the lurch. I had hoped you might squeeze me in, master Gunnar.”
“It would be an absolute pleasure and honor, your grace… but first, I feel I must add on to what duke Belen instructed me to tell you. The ‘mad wizard’ in question is a friend of mine and is highly unpredictable.”
He fixed the two lords with a flat level stare. “If you need something from him, I strongly recommend that you meet with him in the company of journeyman Shai or the high priestess of Knowledge, Becky.”
As they spoke, the procession entered the town, a little bit after seventh bell. Cool, quiet, clean and orderly, Wheatford took the two dukes and their guards to her bosom, as they walked up the sunset streets to the palace.
“This has a certain elegance as well…, pomp and ceremony can be so tiresome…” Lucius whispered. “I daren’t let my first minister hear me say such a thing… the hateful tyrant.”
“My cousin Hassan is the same, he’d have me parading around and making speeches till the sun burnt out from boredom.” Abed grumbled.
They kept up the complaining and general shop talk all the way to the palace gate, where the Belen’s greeted them formally, in a blessedly brief ceremony, followed by snacks.
No sooner had the minimal reception rituals been completed, than Celeste took Abed by the hand and dragged him off to have a private talk with Naiomi and his bride to be.
“What?” He sputtered in shock. “How?” He gasped, lost in wonder.
“While your grace rediscovers the joys of a complete sentence, let me explain… we do not know how, or why, we only know what… and that is, that you will be a father around midwinter.” Naiomi said with utter calm and conviction. Being nearly four hundred years old is good for that.
“Our local cult of Knowledge is deeply interested by this phenomenon, as are a number of other spiritual and fae entities. Expect visits from them as your pregnancy progresses.” She crooned happily.
“Cult of knowledge?” Abed asked quizzically.
“You really should have read the briefing…” Naiomi began.
#
The fancy party died down when the rest of the lords finally got in, the bathers slipped away under Gary’s gifts, in the interest of a peaceful evening. Tawny and Liam remained at the palace, until long after eighth bell had come and gone. They came dragging in and found only Nara and Otho the dog awake.
The two started from the couch they had been sharing when the humans came in… looking embarrassed to have been caught hanging out together.
“He’s warm…” She grumbled. “The others all sleep, the private bath is unoccupied.” She whispered, while kneading Otho’s broad, furry back.
“I never thought I’d be a dog person. Run along, life moves fast, you should stop and look around occasionally...” She murmured softly.
#
Gary woke early, even for him; restless and frustrated he went into the workshop to blow off a little steam. The slow, delicate work of creating a new identity, for a being that had none, was a time consuming and detailed task.
He was just sweeping up shell and wood fragments from his workbench when Tallum and Ivy came downstairs together with Harlan and his two apprentices.
“Hey! Is it morning already?” He asked sleepily.
“Gods boy! Open a window an let some light an air in here…” Harlan grumbled when Gary recovered from the handshaking and hugging the giants inflicted on him.
“This place do smell like ye hae been forging hot shite!”
The mad boy looked awkward and shifty for a moment, but he helped fling open all the windows in the foundation.
You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.
“You could have just magiked them open, Gary….” Ivy complained quietly, when the soft sunlight of mid morning came tumbling in.
“Yeah, but Harlan and the boys already think I’m super weird… flinging windows and doors open and closed magically, has some real ‘evil magician’ vibes.” He summoned a couch and sprawled on it bonelessly, while the others got to work around the shop.
“That’s fair… It really did stink in here.” She whispered confidentially.
“Don’t ask, Ives… some questions are better left a mystery.” He answered ominously, before changing the topic.
“I finished that round shield last night, keep it to yourself… Shai was not pleased with Sheildsies.” He struck a feminine pose of dissaproval and waggled his finger at Tallum.
“Blahh blahh, sexy pirate nonsense, dinnae be flinging me bairns about wi dark arts, blahh blahh.”
He mocked Shai’s accent and posture vividly enough to make the two massive apprentices start giggling like children. Even Harlan and Tallum seemed highly amused so he started playing to the crowd.
“Och, look at me, I dance, smith an fight better than me foolish boy…” He sassed, dancing about clumsily.
Even Ivy and the big red dog seemed to be enjoying his antics very much, until Shai coughed quietly from the stairs.
“She hae been there all along… Hae she not?” Gary asked, still grinning and dancing in place and in character.
“Get thee upstairs an eat ye, japing fool, ‘ere I crack yer skull an sift through the sawdust inside.” She swatted him on the ass as he scampered past her.
“Aye, I do dance, smith an fight better than me boy, but I do also hae more sense.”
#
Harlan and the giant smiths took over his shop for the day, going nuts on his outworld tools, once Tallum showed them the ropes.
Tawny only had to be interrupted a couple times, though they did come out with Liam’s violet goo all over their hands and arms. Nobody even needed to have anything sewn back on…
Liam and Ivy worked happily together in the far side of the shop; brewing more sticky, floral scented violet goo and setting trays of the stuff in the sun to gel. “I’ve been reading his crazy alchemy notes…” Ivy whispered, as though their mad friend might hear, despite being sprawled outside on the lawn in the sunshine.
“He’s got some worrying things in there… poison… Liam, a really strong one… I don’t like the aura coming from that locked cabinet either.”
“I trust him Ives… but yeah. I asked about that, he sang something about a ‘ninety eight pound weakling, getting sand kicked in his face’. It was confusing, so I just assumed everything was normal.” He carefully sampled one of Gary’s vats with a slender bamboo pipette.
“Oh, that’s going to be good…” He murmured appreciatively. “Poison is one of the alchemist’s tools Ivy, we are working on that toxin together...”
“I like scholar Liam…” Gary said from the doorway, smiling happily and looking more awake after breakfast, a bath and an hour lying in the sun.
“I’m on ‘dark arts’ restriction, Shai’s orders… Carry on you guys. I just came down for the bike prototypes.” He tucked three steel wheeled constructs away and slipped out the door with a wave.
#
Out behind the ruined barracks climbing structure, among the formerly overgrown trees and brambles, something new covered the landscape.
A rolling, undulating surface of smooth, shaped clay, with soft lawns and strange open structures, hosted a rambunctious group of kids at play.
Skateboards, skates and scooters flew everywhere… The older teenage kids were pulling some pretty impressive stunts, especially considering they’d only had their new toys a few weeks.
All three little ones were zipping about on their little scooters, trying to imitate the tricks some of the older orphans were displaying.
Dannyl was rocking the half pipe, trying to figure out the ollie. He was under the instruction of Ingrid, one of the small number of older teens Gary had yet to really get to know.
“You gotta lean your point of balance back just a little, trust your momentum to carry you and stay loose. ‘Rigid riders wreck.’ Saul can put you back together if you crash.” She said with absolute finality, indicating a young man in the golden robes of Healer’s cult.
All of the kids were at least wearing helmets, knee and elbow protection. Some like Dannyl and the terrible trio of tykes, were wearing their Adventure gear.
“I never learned any bike stunts and never had the balance for a board or skates…” Gary sang happily, as they rode the sprawling landscape feature.
“How did you stretch this far with your weird magic? We’re all the way across the compound…” Becky pedaled harder to keep up, as Gary and Shai swooped over a rolling hummock and caught a little air.
“I hired the Stonesmiths and the miner’s guild to build this… it’s permanent and real. We call it a skate park where I came from.” He called over his shoulder.
“Ye did WHAT?” Shai yelled at him, but she was still smiling…
“Spendthrift fool, ye hae near paupered yerself fer this?”
“It’s an investment… in chaos. I’ll be repaid in other ways…” He muttered softly, his words carried away by the breeze, unremarked.
A red and green blur shot past him, skidding to a stop in his path, blocking him.
“Where else hae ye shoveled yer great wads of coin boy?” Shai demanded, not angrily, but her smile was less than fully happy.
“I felt weird, carrying around all that cash… It felt dirty.” He said, with a deep and reluctant sigh.
“Now I’m nearly broke, this feels right, propper. You have your charm bracelet, I can always sell another stink ring to the nobs if I need money… what’s to worry over?”
“Ye hae a family, boy… an tis needful tae provide fer…” She trailed off, feeling lost.
“You love commerce, Shai, not money… That’s one of the things I love about you. It’s a pretty long list.” He folded her in his arms awkwardly, still straddling their bikes.
“Me, I love you, my kids and my orphans… Everyone else can fuck right off.”
He dismounted and sat on a stone bench under a small oak tree, motioning for Shai to join him, as Becky rode on.
“This crazy world has all the same problems as my old one, I never had any power or influence there… Here, I can at least make life better for my brothers and sisters.”
“Tis a fine sentiment, but how will ye hae influence, an ye are simply a poor maker of noisy toys?” She asked gently. “Money be nae some evil force tae influence yer will an mind.”
“Shai, even the smartest, most creative and talented people in my world have lost their way after gaining fabulous wealth. I’m gonna keep dirt under my nails, fight the good fight and live a complicated, highly chaotic life.” He said with a smile as he produced Liam’s haunted stratoblaster.
“Nae! Tis not fair…” Shai complained and danced at the same time. “Ye kinnae just strike up a tune and watch me wiggle.”
“Life’s not fair darling… and I like watching you wiggle.” He struck his strings harder, more ferociously, making his instrument bark, moan and roar. He strummed and plucked a slow, bittersweet tune, dragging each chord out the way cold honey poured from a crock.
“Lightnin’ Hopkins knew what was up, ‘cause he learned the hard way.” Gary said softly, before he began to sing.
You know that it's a sin to be rich…
But it's a low-down shame to be poor!
It is a sin to be rich, you know that it's a low-down shame to be poor!
You know a rich man ain't got a chance to go to heaven and a poor man got a hard way to go!
You know I don't wanna be rich, I just wanna stay between rich and poor!
“That was quite a song…” Otho laughed from behind the pair. “Forgive me for eavesdropping, but now I understand you both a little better, my young friends.”
“Otho, ye old reprobate, ye hae helped him impoverish himself an ye kinnae deny it!” She snapped, fondly angry and respectfully discourteous all at once.
“Oh yes, I aided him in many of his plots…” The old man chuckled in amusement. “I may have a compromise solution… Gary, I would like to suggest that Shai and Ivy handle your group’s resources, officially. Do you agree that Ginger Dreadnought would be better served by their financial management?”
“Yeah, I can see that. We gotta put it to a vote though.” He admitted.
“We hae decided last night, boy. We did just wait tae tell thee… fer an appropriate time.” Shai muttered unhappily.
“Oh! Excellent!” The old priest chirped. “We will have to convene at my office for a few minutes for some paperwork…”
“Hey, wait… that was my money… why does everybody else get to tell me how to spend it?” He complained, a little late.
“Shush boy, it hae been decided, ye are stupid about money.” Shai snapped, not ungently.
“To be clear, we are talking about the funds accumulated by your group’s activities, not your own personal efforts… directly.” Otho soothed and calmed him with a little light strumming on his shamisen.
“Ok, that’s fair…” He grumbled eventually. “My projects keep going, I’m not canceling anything…”
They left Dannyl and Becky watching the kids and strolled off to the temple district to fill out forms. It took a few minutes of scribbling and wax sealing things to get it all dusted off, but eventually the packet of papers was bundled off to the temple of Order for filing.
“Thank you Gary, you will not regret this irrevocable and legally binding decision…” Otho announced when the job was done.
“Why do I feel like I just got played for a sap?” He asked, only just beginning to suspect a trick might be in the offing.
“You remain the master of your personal funds, boy… Including your cut of the disbursements currently pending through the guild hall. Run along and play… Shai and I have some details to hammer out.” Otho shooed him away with a gentle smile.
“Scheming sneaks…” He grumbled on the way out. At the temple door he was joined by Daniel, the slender harpist of joy and the flutist he hadn’t really met yet. “Gary, this is Algernon, we will be accompanying you back, at Othos request.”
“Minders… really?” He demanded sourly. “We’re in the temple quarter… I’m like a quarter mile from home.”
“Oh, excellent, you know where you are, that simplifies things…” Algernon said smugly. “I’d heard you could barely dress yourself.”
“Your friend is funny Daniel, I’ll remember him fondly.” He smiled widely and nodded at the man. “What do you like Algie? Pine, cedar? I have a very nice hemlock as well.”
The mad boy had a measuring tape out as they walked, jotting down Algernon’s height and width at the hip and shoulders.
“Are you measuring me for a… coffin?” The tall, dapper man asked in horror. Only a mad, icy smile answered him.
“Gary, be nice. Algernon, you started it.” Daniel was only a year or two older than Gary and several younger than ‘Algie’, but both men heard the telltale sound of Joy’s interest in his voice. It was a subtle reverberation that only those Contracted to Cowl could truly hear.
The chastened pair walked back in relative silence, monitored by the sober and calm harpist.
#
“Otho, I hae never even seen a trade wand, this be ours?” Shai asked in a hushed whisper. The slim, hefty rod of elaborately engraved silver was inscribed ‘Ginger Dreadnought Company’ on the handle.
“I feared to show it to him, for reasons you no doubt understand… He is quite insane… in some ways.” The geezer whispered, as though he might hear, somehow.
“How much Otho? How much is on this wand?” Ivy asked in awe.
“Lets just say, it’s best Gary learns of this after things have been… settled. Muktar is honest to a fault and a very skilled negotiator, but he has little imagination…” The old man looked embarrassed and shifty.
“I’m certain Healer’s temple will come to renegotiate terms when they realize just how much coin is tumbling into that account. That is your problem now, since I am no longer in control of these funds.”
“Otho, what are you hiding?” Ivy demanded.
“Well, as trustee of the account, one coin in one hundred came to me… as a standard administrative fee… It was in the contract, I didn’t ask for it…” He trailed off looking even more deeply embarrassed.
Eventually he looked up from his sandals and frowned. “Your fool boy has made me wealthy as well… It’s humiliating. Naiomi won’t stop teasing me, wretched old crone.”
#
Wilford skidded his scooter to a stop, grinning happily. “I like to go fast.” Rio and Amy came puffing up after him, topping the highest hill in the skate park.
They looked down the long slope of smooth clay trail, bordered by soft green lawns. It undulated and curved around the hillock, spiraling down with frequent, steep rises to catch air and pull stunts. While they surveyed the course, an older kid zipped past them, flying down on skates, whooping with excitement.
Wilf grinned, tipped his helmet and rolled away, giggling wildly. Amy and Rio shrugged, and followed after. “He knows he’s younger than us… right?” Rio asked, but the wind made Amy’s reply inaudible.
There were a good number of townies rolling and stunting on the landscape features. Harlan and his new apprentices had quickly figured out how the skates worked and began small scale production.
In alliance with a local bootmaker and a carpenter, they had produced enough to meet local demand for the new toys.
The smooth, well paved streets of Wheatford were a point of local pride… and a super sweet skating environment.
#
Gary and Becky walked the exhausted little ones home, accompanied by Mikkel and Hannah. Who seemed even more spry than last time they had seen the old couple.
“You guys look great, are you doing a juice cleanse or something?” He asked with a grin.
“We ranked up into bronze last week, feels like fifty years fell away. I might just come out of retirement!” Mikkel said, around his pipestem.
Hanna seemed no less enthusiastic until he mouthed off about going back to work. “Take up gardening, or fishing you old wretch; I’ve stayed up enough late nights worrying.”
She glared at Gary, like this was all his fault. “These young sprats can fight the monsters and sleep in the woods. You need your comforts, old man.”
Mikkel laughed long and loud, hugging his wife close as they strolled together. “Hannah quit the Adventure guild as soon as her indenture ended and never looked back. She hates sleeping in the cold and wet.”
“Damn right! That’s for young fools with no sense, cold nights, hard ground for a bed… and the vermin! I still remember those skeeter bites…” She complained bitterly.
“Yeah, it’s pretty miserable, roughing it on the road…” Becky sighed. “It’s so nice to be back in town, sleeping in a proper bed.”
The way all three were smiling made Hannah cranky. “It feels like I’m missing the joke… I hate that feeling.”
“Hannah, sweety, you know Gary’s crazy house and baths vanish when he goes away…” Becky said softly.
Hanna’s sharp, fierce eyes locked on Mikkel. “You claimed exhaustion, after a rough and uncomfortable journey… you couldn’t pull those weeds or patch that…”
She was off to the races, her bright eyes twinkling, overjoyed at knowing a secret, she chewed Mikkel a new on the whole way to the house by the water. She berated the old man for laziness, fibbing and generally being a man.
Mikkel for his part fired back with an endless chain of sighs, eye rolls and exhausted repetitions of ‘yes dear’ that were clearly extorted. He leaned heavily on his crutch, staggering along, hamming up his peg leg, he bemoaned his crippled state and begged her mercy pitifully. He also reached his free hand out for a pinch tickle or fondle of his tiny, formidable wife.
“Lecherous old goat!” She giggled, swatting his hand away. “There are children here!”
There really weren’t, all three were sacked out and being carried by the two young people the geezers were ‘escorting’ so entertainingly.
Becky carried Amy, who was still wisp thin and tiny, while Gary hauled the two chonky boys. All three were out cold and drooling, exhausted by a day at the orphanage. The place had become lively, colorful and busy over the last few weeks. The bustle and fun was too much for the little ones, they were wrung out and done until after naptime.
#