Ch: 24.5 A Bungled Burglary
Warrior priest Pedro Nazar was a career man, working his way up from indentured orphan to patrol leader. His reenlistment came with a posting to Port Fallon, a cushy and safe place. Just near enough the action to mix it up, but far enough away to be comfortable.
Brennan Fallon, the baron’s nephew was the only blot on a fine posting, but it was a stubborn stain. The man was sworn to Order, but he was poison to discipline.
He was cocksure, entitled and arrogant, until the eyes of his superiors were turned away, then he showed his cruelty and lack of honor.
Second officers were supposed to be assigned at random, to keep each other honest, yet somehow he always wound up tied to knight Fallon.
It was almost as though the baron knew his nephew was a wretched sack of guts and wanted someone steady to keep an eye on him. More likely, someone common to take the fall when he inevitably stepped over the line… or got caught. Nazar had few illusions that the man had not sullied himself already.
Now here he was, a decorated acolyte of War, trying and failing to climb a garden wall like a naughty child. Gods above and below those thorns and berries were awful.
“I will never live this down.” He sighed, while riding away in misery.
He rode at a canter, hoping to catch up to the slow moving group; they had a Healer with them after all. His shield man, Levin, cantered up and fell in, seeing his superior approaching the troupe.
Nazar heard the music long before he saw the dog cart and mounted priestess. It was strange and twangy, coming from the cart in ringing tones. “…Banjo is more of an outside instrument, it can be a bit much indoors.” The man in the cart was saying, the source of the music as well.
He removed his helm and hailed the group as he approached, calling out loudly. “Travelers, I would ask your aid.”
He was nearing early middle age, but as fit as he ever was. His black hair was less thick and glossy but he sat straight in the saddle just as he had in his prime.
When Nazar approached, the troupe halted, eyeing him in amused silence. The small blood spots and dark purple stains told the tale, even if his itching rashes and festering puncture wounds were not visible.
The fool in the cart began to play and sing without warning.
Once I was climbing the garden wall…
I slipped an had a turrible fall…
Fell so hard I heard bells ring…
I must have landed on my ding-a-ling-a-ling!
The others immediately joined in on a chorus of ding-a-lings and verses about who wanted to play with whose. It was all very confusing and humiliating. Fortunately, Khan seemed as confused as he felt.
“Is this what I should expect going forward?” Khan asked the priestess.
“Oh yes indeed, I should expect to see this kind of thing regularly.” She replied, and Nazar’s blood ran cold. He wondered if Fallon knew how close he had come to utter ruin.
“Forgive my intrusion lady Belen, I have had a… misadventure with some toxic thorns.” He said with a low bow.
“So you did recognize me.” Tawny said coldly.
“Only when you spoke, I heard you sing the spring prayers at temple this year. Thank you for that.” He said, head still lowered.
She trotted over, still astride that massive horse. She whispered a short phrase while tapping her slender wand to his exposed neck. As a wash of cool sensations ran over him, the burning itch and savage stinging wounds subsided.
“Gary, Shai, I would ask that our escorts guest with us tonight, this man needs a bath more than healing now, I think.” The Lady Trelawny Belen said to the as yet unseen occupants of the cart.
A male voice with a strange sing-song accent floated out from the cart. “He seemed so eager to peek inside, it would be rude to say no. Shai? Do you have any thoughts on the matter of escorts?”
A tall, strong looking woman with shoulder length red hair clambered into view from the cart, eyeing him suspiciously.
“Aye, tis nae harm I suppose.” Her rough hillfolk accent and garb pegged her as a commoner of the most simple kind. Barely civilized to hear some talk of the hill tribes. Yet here she was, speaking directly to Trelawny Belen. This reeked of politics.
“Warrior Levin, we will be escorting this party to Port Fallon. Those are our only orders now. Am I clear?” Nazar barked. The warrior snapped a crisp salute and looked much relieved.
“Understood.” Levin snapped, falling in with the group.
He was just over average height, slim and graceful. He had short brown hair and sad looking brown eyes. His lips were turned down in faint disappointment most of the time.
As afternoon shadows lengthened, the troupe pulled up in a meadow near the road. The giant led the two War cultists into the woods to gather firewood for a few minutes.
While they worked, the strange music began again from the cart. Even stranger, the red haired woman began to dance and play a violin. The bells she wore on her suddenly, very erotic hips pulled their gaze like magic.
When they looked up, the damned inn was there, fully formed with windows and porch lights lit. Their scant armloads of firewood tumbled to the slushy ground with little noise while they gaped.
The older man, Khan, as Fallon had called him, stepped out of the shadows nearby, his blood red armor familiar, but somehow threatening at the moment. “If you say anything about what you have seen to that pig Fallon, I will see you again trooper Levin.” He said quietly.
“Yes sirknightcaptain!” Levin stammered.
“I don’t know you,” The strange knight said in a cold voice to Nazar. “so let me just say, this is family business, orphan’s business. If you bring Fallon a crumb of information about us, I will see to it that no one ever learns your fate.”
He clapped his hands together with glee. “Let’s get warm and get you patched up, wait til you see the baths!” With an arm over each of their shoulders he led them inside, the giant always hovering nearby. “Its Adventurer Khan now Levin, I’m retired.” He said cheerfully.
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In a quiet corner, Khan, Levin and Nazar were drinking from a bottle Khan provided and talking softly.
“Was Fallon trying to get us executed? Or is he just an idiot? That is Trelawny Belen, heir to the duchy of Wheatford! He told me to break into her house! Do you think she suspects where I fell into those thorns?”
“Slow down Nazar. Fallon is a fool and a vile one at that. Honestly, he either did not know, or cares so little that you are expendable.” He grinned at them both. “Lady Trelawny knows exactly where and how you encountered those thorns, be honest and she will be merciful.”
Both men moved to stand and begin groveling, he stopped them with an upraised hand. “Don’t embarrass her, she is traveling under the veil of penitence. If you look you will see it.
The lady’s hair was a golden flood, held back by a simple band of white lace, with a hint of a tiny veil trailing off. It was easy to miss, and indicated dangerous waters ahead.
“If you wish to avoid a debt of honor to house Belen, step carefully men and mind where loyalty and honor can be found… and where it cannot.”
As though at some signal, lady Trelawny rose and strolled into the garden. The two men followed into the fading evening light. She sank to a bench beneath a pear tree, all grace and courtesy.
“Yes my lords, how may I serve?” She asked mildly.
Levin folded to his knees and placed his head at her feet without preamble. “Forgive me lady Belen, I did not know your identity!” He groveled, while Nazar subtly dug a toe into his kneeling companion’s ribs.
Finally Nazar grabbed the man by his collar and hauled him bodily to his feet, where he remained, barely. “My apologies mistress Trelawny,” Nazar said politely with a slight bow. “My subordinate is mistaken. No doubt he is in need of some exercise. See that the horses are comfortable Levin.”
“Yes sir!” The man vanished into the stables even while his words were still audible.
“Levin is young and was only following my orders. I am the only one who attempted to break into your home. As his superior, all fault is mine, mistress Trelawny.” Nazar said, bowing slightly.
“Master Khan has informed me of your orders and from whence they came. I am satisfied by your apology. If you mean my friends no harm, we have no debt between us.”
She smiled and it almost felt like dawn broke early. She seemed to radiate a golden light, even as the sun fell. “Please remind trooper Levin to maintain his decorum, propriety demands these sacrifices of us at times.”
“Yes mil- Mistress Trelawny” He said, still stunned by her smile.
“Tawny, sir knight, just Tawny the acolyte of Healer.” She vanished like a golden dream, flitting through the door on silent slippered feet.
When he found Levin in the stable the man was a wreck. “She set an honor debt, didn't she… one year? five?” He lurched forward, grabbing his superior’s cloak in a deathgrip. “I can’t do another indenture, I only have two years left…”
“Levin!” His voice cracked like a whip in the quiet stable, spooking the horses. “This woman is not just a noble. She is not like the Fallons or the Erasmus’ she is not a Holloman.”
He swatted the younger man on the shoulder. “Honor and rank are not clubs to wield against the weak, some nobles know this. Find your courage and you may learn this for yourself.”
Before long Levin, Khan and Nazar were seated with the giant, Tallum and his tiny partner Ivy. There was no beer or wine to be had in their strange inn, but the food was good, the serving girls, pretty and wise men kept wandering hands close to themselves.
The red haired innkeeper looked able to manage any trouble by herself and the giant was her brother. He was with the cute blond cook… That left only the skinny dark girl with the beaded braids unattached…
Khan’s hand clamped down on Levin’s shoulder. “Walk carefully Levin, they are from Wheatford, that is a town ruled by Order.” The young man sat back down to consider. While Nazar nodded appreciatively at Khan.
The music started when the sickly looking man that the innkeeper doted on, pulled a strange instrument from nowhere at all and began to play.
It was a strange song, about a demon offering a Contract to a young man… a blasphemous if not dangerous topic.
Even the strange man’s companions seemed nonplussed at first, but his wild, mad eyes cut through their surprise.
Something in the air made their shock and offense melt into jolly, good humor. Whoever this Devil was, or where this Georgia he Went Down to was, it made a good song.
Halfway through, the dark girl with the beaded hair came dancing through. Taking Levin by the hand, before leading him on a merry romp across the dance floor.
The innkeeper and the slim girl danced every man and woman in the place into the dirt, except the sickly musician. He played until the women collapsed, dancing with each other to the end.
While the rest tried to catch their breath, the musician kept playing, softly sprinkling notes and chords around the room. It was aimless, undirected and beautiful, like rain on a sunny morning.
Slowly the group stirred and began heading for a curtained doorway in twos and threes. “Bathtime.” Khan said. “Come along, don’t be shy, we are all orphans here… mostly.”
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Levin could probably drink for free in any tavern in Port Fallon on the tale of how he took a bath with Lady Trelawny Belen, heir to a dutchy.
That would come with the risk of having his throat cut by any of her retainers that might overhear. It was perilous, walking on the heights.
While bathing among the plants and steam, with a duchess heir no less, should have been a glorious experience, neither man could easily shake off the horrid state of the dying man bobbing about like a well aged corpse.
Nazar cornered Khan in the pool and whispered. “Should I take him away and ease his passage? I will if you cannot bear to, I owe your band that debt at least.” He bowed humbly and prayed to Joy that he would be spared that burden.
Khan clapped him on the bare shoulder and laughed. “Mistress Tawny would see to it that you follow him into Secret's realm shortly. She is not one to cross where her stitchcraft is involved.”
The golden regard of Tawy swept over the men like the eye of a lighthouse, revealing what they believed hidden by mist and darkness. “If you think you can sew better than I, why are there holes in your smallclothes?”
Chagrin and shame crossed his face and he bowed deeply, almost submerging himself. “Forgive my impertinence, learned healer. I am but a simple warrior, and would not see a brother suffer without need.” He dripped as he spoke, his fine ‘stache wilting sadly.
Levin for his part could not stop smiling at the dark girl with the braids.
“Let honor guide your steps Levin.” Was all Nazar would say when he asked advice on bedding the skinny girl.
Khan was even less helpful. “If that girl has a moment’s consternation or distress, Annie will be there shortly. I will be there not long after, with a mop.”
Khan’s face looked serious, but surely not. “She’s just some maid…” Levin began.
“Did you see that sickly minstrel staggering along?” Khan asked, indicating floating the musician. “He will kill you and no one will ever find your corpse. If Nazar tries to stop him, you will both be lost.”
He clapped them both on the shoulder and turned to go to his room. “I hope you are both alive in the morning.”
Morning came shockingly early. Patrol leader Nazar felt the need to provide remedial instruction to young trooper Levin, all night long.
Trooper Levin ran, jumped, ran, recited the oaths of guardianship while running, jumping and attempting to avoid the patrol leader’s baton.
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Over breakfast, Becky looked out in the garden where the exhausted men were torturing eachother. “What did that kid do?” She asked Khan.
“We don’t discuss matters of discipline outside those involved…” Khan said mildly. “He forgot his manners, leave it at that. If he bothers you tell me immediately please.”
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The day was warm, melting the last of the snow and ice into mud. They trudged along, Gary in his dog cart wrapped in blankets, except where he held an instrument. He played all day, making the miles trot past with his strange gifts.
They hit river traffic by mid morning, small fishing boats and short haul cargo vessels rowed or poled in the calm morning.
Many hailed the travelers, warning of the creature, or asking if they had seen it.
“Took my net, an near took me too, snapper turtle if you ask me, and a biggun!” one old fisher said, snapping his near toothless jaw to illustrate his point.
“I did see a possessed salmon once, had bull horns and great slashing teeth!” Another cried, only to be shouted down by a neighbor.
“That was your wife!” The anonymous wiseguy called.
“Nae, twas yer wife, my girlfriend!” The fisher shouted back.
Gary seemed enchanted by the whole thing, bouncing through lively sailor’s songs about mermaids, and which half should be girl and which fish.
Huts, houses, even houseboats began to appear as the river widened. When the city came into view, just after midday, they also saw the inland sea, a vast stretch of water, with mountains just visible on the horizon.
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Gulls wheeled and the air stank of fish and fishing. Gary unobtrusively slipped on his stink ring and his friends moved closer together. Kahn figured it out quickly once Liam pulled him into range.
The gate ward was; larger, rougher, dirtier and generally poorer than anything he had seen in Wheatford. He also noticed a few brown tiled roofs scattered in the district.
Ragged and dirty children rolled about or worked mending nets or fishing. Equally dirty and ragged men offered themselves as porters for a few iron bits, despite the group’s lack of luggage.
Gary’s music began to slow and wind down as they entered the populated area. “Fie! Another bawdy one!” Shai called with glee. She didn’t wait, She started into ‘Fat Bottom Girls’ right there at the River Road gate.
Gary picked the music right back up and started backing up Shai. “We were supposed to be low key.” Liam said to the cart bound fool.
“Ok! Taking it down boys, follow me!” He proceeded to lead the band into a lower octave, continuing the song.
“Stop, stop. No singing, stop dancing.” Khan shouted, using his knight captain voice. It rang out clear and strident, cutting the noise while sounding calm, confident and maybe a little bored.
The Bathers were stunned when the music evaporated and Gary’s gift rolled up like a soiled carpet. “That worked?” Liam asked in wonder.
“Khan!” Becky called. “That’s why we keep you around buddy!”
Shai’s hips were the last remnants of the music, slowly winding down when they reached the gate.
“Business in Port Fallon?” The bored and disheveled guard asked, streaks of gravy in his four day beard.
“Adventurers, traveling on guild business, Ginger Dreadnought.” Khan replied, showing his badge. The rest followed suit and they entered the outer city of Port Fallon.
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