Ch: 28.5 A Sticky End
Out in the darkness under an overcast sky, a tiny spark appeared, bright green and steady. Soon they heard music, strange and low, thumping and skipping about in ways that made toes tap against their owner’s will. A voice came drifting over the water, strangely loud, yet intimate and familiar.
Sittin’ in the mornin’ sun…
I’ll be sittin’ when the evenin’ comes
Watching the ships roll in…
There by the waterside, tall and peak roofed. Billowing with steam and lit by softly glowing windows and artfully placed lamps, was that familiar inn.
Reaching out a short way into the water, a dock also lit with paper lanterns looked inviting on a cold night. Sitting in a comfy, plush chair at the end of the pier, holding his strange guitar and waiting for them was Gary. He was swaddled in blankets against the chill and watched over by Otho and Annie.
“Welcome, the others are asleep but we will find you room where it’s warm.” He almost whispered as his instrument disappeared. “Otho and Annie said you were coming our way, welcome again.”
Esperanza’s crew waited for her command to begin tying up… technically. But that was good enough on a cold and breezy night. “A dock now, will there be a chandler’s and a shipwright?” She asked, popping an eyebrow and a hip at him.
“Perhaps, I did just receive a consignment of fine lumber. I haven’t even tickled it yet.” He said, still terribly quiet.
“Dante said you were unwell… something you ate?” She asked, winking at his sassy talk of tickles.
“There was a vigorous debate on that matter. I wonder who won…” He whispered as the horse bit the back of his chair and dragged it all the way to the bath, toppling furniture and boy in without ceremony.
Esperanza leapt the rail, whisked over and peered in, the boy was floating nude. There was no sign of furniture or blankets. Falco however, was swimming placid circles around the boy, pushing him too and fro like a pool toy.
She flinched in horror and disappointment at the sight of him. “This one would not have you bestir yourself in that state…”
“In this state? The only thing I can bestir is nightmares.” He grinned foolishly, somehow that made it even more horrifying.
“If I were to claw my way up from a not too fresh grave hungry for human flesh you would absolutely be on the menu.” He said with a cheeky grin and a wink.
“You are more bold now, have events changed your perspective on… things?” She asked, her brows lifting with mingled interest and concern.
“I feel safe flirting right now my dear. If you get handsy, my insides and outsides will get all jumbled up again and Shai will butcher you.” He winked again. “I’m a broken toy. I stay on the shelf.”
She frowned, sulking pretilly.“You disappoint me again Gary, will this one forgive your affront?”
“She will if she wants a chance at Shai’s arrears… Wait, don’t tell her I said that, no fair, I’m still really low on blood.” He whined softly. “Seriously, I need to pass out. Otho and Annie will get you settled in. Sorry, feel free to use the bath, just pretend I’m not here.” With that, he was as good as dead.
“Her boy is sly… to go so far just to escape my clutches.” She sighed as her kin and crew padded up to join her in silently watching the morbidly floating spectacle.
“Reminds me, need more canvas and thread for mending sails.” Yuzef said.
“And we are low on fresh meat, it’s getting a little off color… kinda like near his navel.” Marc whispered. “This one don’t like the look of it, not really hungry for meat right now anyway.”
“Now, now boys.” Esperanza called softly. “We have fished worse out of the waters… We just won’t be doing the rites for this one… with good fortune.” She led her menfolk inside, behind the huge, happy dog.
#
Becky skipped downstairs, expecting to be the first one up as usual.
She stumbled when Esperanza looked up from a sofa by the fire, with Otho sprawled across her lap, enjoying an ear rub as she read.
“The boy let us in, we are tied up at the dock. My crew is asleep in the common room.” She said quietly. “Thank you for your hospitality mistress Becky. When will…” She licked her lips in sensual anticipation. “...our hostess awaken?”
“Shai will be up later, wait we have a dock?” She said, eyeing the familiar book in Esperanza’s lap. “whatcha readin?” She asked too casually, forgetting her prior question.
“An Affair of Monsters? This one has not read it before, are you in the trade? Esperanza has some small selection of… literature aboard.” She said, sounding shifty.
“Books?” Something croaked softly from the bath. His voice seemed to slip up on them as they spoke by the unburning fire that smelled so delightful.
“You have books?” It came again, prompting Becky and Esperanza to head outside where Gary drifted, eyes open and staring hungrily at the stars.
“If you were trying to seduce me you missed the boat last time. See what I did there?” His grin was back, crazy and lopsided, like before he ‘Caught The Pimp Hand’.
“I’m a bibliophile baby…”
“Is that your kink… this one assumed it was tentacles.” The trader let slip a wicked smile while tapping the small book to her chin thoughtfully.
“I’m into abstinence, that really gets me going. I’m not doing it so hard right now…” He said, smiling with that mad gleam in his eye. “This is like, the least sexy anyone could look while naked, I feel like a wild man.”
He held up one trembling finger from the water to forestall her. “Not enough blood, anything I say cannot be used against me.”
“This one has no plans to take you to court, though she will press her suit in… other venues.” She smiled and licked those plump, red lips again. “There is another defendant in this case. She must mount her own defense.”
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Becky watched from back in the kitchen, with morbid fascination as those two idiots tried to out weird each other. Pancakes though… that was something that made sense. Becky tuned them out and kept working, trying to reclaim her favorite part of the morning.
Annie poked her head in through the kitchen window and snuffled her braids in greeting “Yes, tell Falco I have something for him.” Beck giggled, while shoving a carrot in the offending muzzle.
The two flirting by the pool stopped to watch the girl smooch and coo at a horse so very much larger than herself.
“Do I smell sourdough pancakes?” He whispered, almost daring to hope.
“If that is what I am smelling… yes?” Esperanza said quietly. “It is… a distinctive aroma.” Her face suggested deep reservations at the tangy and yeasty pong wafting on the air.
“Shai had me get some starter from a baker in Port Fallon, we couldn't figure out what baking powder and baking soda are…” Becky called out to them, frowning slightly in disappointment. “You spent your life eating this stuff and have no idea what’s in it? Weirdo.”
“Well you are just going to have to teach me then, thankless brat.” He grumbled, his wheezing chuckle nearly sent him to the bottom of the pool before Falco intervened.
Gary staggered up the pool steps, conjuring clothes as he went, including an odd, padded wooden breastplate that squeezed him about the tummy.
“Gotta keep the entrails from becoming the extrails, this is my patented Giblet Retainer. Everyone is going to be wearing them next year.” He said to Esperanza with a grin and nearly his whole voice. Leaning on a bronze handled stick, he slipped into a sofa by the fire in the common room.
“How does it stay so warm in here with that open doorway…” Esperanza wondered quietly as she settled back into her place by the fire.
“Same way no bugs get in in the summer, I want it this way and it just happens.” He shrugged carefully in his odd garment. “A friend in the clergy thinks it has to do with madness and the moon…”
“Ohh, really?” She asked, setting her book in her lap. “In this one’s tribe, the moon touched are considered lucky.” She said quietly, leaning in closer. “Kissing one so anointed is said to provide blessings of good fortune…”
Becky coughed roughly, settling in beside him with coffee and a tray. She set the coffee service down on thin air with a confident smile at Esperanza.
The woman flinched slightly expecting a crash, only to notice a low table that had certainly not been there a moment ago.
“Shai will be up soon, we wouldn't want things to get weird now would we?” She asked sweetly as a faint tinkle of bells sounded on the stairs.
“An the shallow sea nae vast enough, ye must fish in this pond too?” Shai eased down the stairs with her natural grace, but now spiced with a hint of swagger and challenge. She swayed over, sitting on the arm of the sofa to better loom over the scene.
“If you leave your toys in this condition…” The merchant said playfully, breaking the tense mood. “You cannot complain if someone else comes along to play with them.”
Her smile got even wider and more scandalous. “If This one should steal a kiss, you may always steal it back from her…”
“I can’t with you guys…” Becky said, before fleeing for the kitchen and her now active and bubbling batter. The scent swiftly changed from weirdly funky, to a tangy, toasty whiff of heaven when the batter hit the griddle.
“Ohhh man… smells like sunday morning…” Gary drifted off in a haze of memory and hunger, leaving the women staring at each other in amusement.
“Gary be far from his home, tis mine and Becky’s project tae find some small comforts fer the poor waif.” She confided over the head of the befuddled boy.
“This one understands that, though never has this scent crossed our path. He must be from afar indeed.” The trader said smoothly, coaxing more information with deft hands. “What town is he from?”
“Sumatt beyond the Shallow sea by the ocean side, or so he do say.” She said smoothly. “Dinnae probe too deeply, lest ye learn those things best left unsaid.”
Esperanza smiled slow and canny, leaning closer. “This one would learn of new routes opened for travel, new places and things to trade, has he such for us?” Her gaze was direct and frank, one tradeswoman to another. “Fun is fun, but trade is our calling, Esperanza must seek new waters and ports.”
Shai shook her head sadly. “T’was only pure chance that brought him, nae passage back kin be made. Ask him when he wakes an mayhap ye will learn more than ye wish tae.”
Shai’s smile became a mirror of hers. “As for goods… that kin be done while he sleeps. We hae summat fer trade an all.”
Gary woke up on the sofa alone, under a blanket and feeling better than he had in a while.
Stiff and sore from napping while strapped into his washboard abs, he lurched to his feet with a soft grunt and shambled to a table.
Shai and Esperanza had ledgers and an abacus out among their plates, that was no way to enjoy pancakes. He settled in by Tallum and started forking his way into a mound of steaming sourdough.
“What’s this syrup? It’s fruity?” He asked Becky, who was across from him and wielding her fork aggressively.
“Plum canker giant sap, Ivy boiled some down… I’m gonna stick with honey.” She dipped a finger in the small pot of sticky liquid and tasted it again. “Yeah, no offense, but that is weird, Annie and the other horses love it though.”
He smacked his lips a few times, trying to dislodge the sticky stuff. “Grape cough syrup is not a winner, pass me that honey Becks.”
“The Alchemists guild is gonna love that stuff Gary, just you watch.” Ivy smiled smugly. “Muktar asked for some sap before we left. He was hoping for a little pail full, we got buckets and buckets of it. We are going to do pretty well on this trip.” She said with a wide smile.
“Walking tree sap? Sweet Shai did not mention that to this one… is that also for trade?” Esperanza piped up from her intense negotiations.
“I think I hear them playing my song.” Ivy said greedily, as she gathered her plate and mug. “We might be able to spare a little, it’s rare to get it in quantities, and the purity…” She began, feeling the trade winds blowing her way.
“Tell Shai I have a couple things on the workbench too Ivy, that ring you wanted and a couple for sale. Finished them last night while you guys were sleeping.” Gary said as he started to migrate tables. “I have a few more trinkets stashed away too.”
“The one for taste and smell? You finished that?” She asked excitedly, eyeing Otho as he licked ‘parts’ of himself by the fire.
“That got a little in the weeds, I went with an illusion rather than a stink ring. If you feed a trickle of mana to the ring it will cut off those perceptions from your link. That was the tricky part.” He said, getting more animated and nerdy by the moment.
“The runes needed to fit inside the band to get access to your nervous system.” He enthused. “That meant I had to compensate for the internal curvature and the radius of…”
Ivy was already vanishing through the workshop door and down the stairs with an excited squee.
She came back upstairs holding a few small boxes and a brace of simple flutes while admiring a thin silver band on her finger.
“...takes the spiritual mana from your pool and uses it to confound that part of the link between your minds.” He finished as she returned, not even having noticed her departure.
“How long will it be good for?” She asked, pretending she had been listening all along. “I couldn’t get a mana charge reading.” She seemed disappointed by that.
“Umm… I just covered that, till the band wears out and the runes fail. Maybe ten years or so of constant use.” He looked to Otho, still enjoying his personal care time with great satisfaction.
“Yeah, ten years, maybe less. For you, a lifetime guarantee just cause you are in the band.” He glared at her with one mad eye and grumbled. “That means if you or Tallum try and start an independent project… back to flavor town.”
“Maybe I will take this one apart and learn your secrets?” She said with a smile while Otho had a tender moment with himself down by the fire.
“You won’t, because if you can’t replicate my work you will be back to enjoying all that Otho has to offer.” He grinned evilly.
“Remember our first outing? He ate that trapdoor… spring is coming.” He crooned at her, savoring the look on her face as she remembered that taste.
“Baby spiders bumbling out to build their first traps… what are the odds Otho finds another one and snarfs it down?” His smile was positively nasty now, filled with glee and delight.
Tallum just sat there and let that slide. Gary was getting sick of the big guy’s attitude.
“Do me a favor and ask Shai if we got the payoff for the rings I sent Mikkel last month.” He asked Ivy while she toyed with her new ring. “I kinda forgot with all the activity.”
Ivy kissed him and Tallum on the tops of their heads and skipped away with a smile, oblivious to Gary’s abuse and Otho’s continuing self care. Gary glared at Tallum when she was gone.
“Dude, what’s your deal? You let me razz Ivy like that and didn’t bust my chops?” He nudged the big man with a toe under the table. “You guys ok?”
“Ivy is fine, I will be too, once you two are ok. I’m so sorry, my mistake almost cost both of you…” Gary lurched forward, awkwardly swatting at him with weak flailing hands.
Gary sank back down into his chair with an undignified; “Oof! That was exhausting.” and wheezed feebly. “You didn’t get me hurt, I did. You guys all said I was not ready, I chose to mix it up. I had a shield to jam in there, you were just gonna get gutted.”
He eyed Tallum. “You say you got me hurt, I say no, we are even. If you want to make an issue of it we can have a whole awkward thing.” He grinned foolishly. “But I gotta say, if I had it to do all over again, you would be wearing the gut squeezer.”
“Say what you want, I know I let you and Shai down…” He began, when a sudden blow to the back of the head sent him face first into his plate.
As he pulled himself out of his pancakes and honey, through sticky and smeared eyes he saw Gary, half standing and nearly falling.
He held an enormous sandal of rope and leather, apparently the thing that struck him from behind.
“What was that Gary?!” He griped, dripping butter and honey off his nose. “A giant sandal? Are you mad…? What am I even asking?”
Gary looked hurt and confused, shrinking back a little under the gaze of the entire room.
“What? You guys don’t have ‘La Chancla*’? I thought that was universal…” Even Shai was looking worried.
“La Chancla’ is a tradition of my people…” He began, before realizing it was far too late. “We use it to end disputes, cancel debts and forgive those who have wronged us. Don’t judge me!” He said, waving his ridiculously huge sandal around.
“I have honey up my nose Gary and that does not explain why you have a giant sandal or why you hit me with it.” The big man complained, wiping at his well buttered face.
“Once you face my chancla, all debts are canceled. We are even now, no more sulking, and have Otho lick that stuff off your face.” Gary said calmly. “Can’t take you anywhere without you making a mess big guy.”
Slippers flew from all corners of the room, pelting Gary in a storm of hurled footwear and laughter.