Ch: 145 Ferry Cross The Mersey

With her gleaming white paintwork, bleached cotton sails and understated, elegant details, Water Lotus cut a brave figure. She came swooping up the river Belen and into Wheatford on a bright afternoon like a graceful swan. Her majesty was in no way diminished by the gaudy, gold and blue behemoth slowly lumbering in her wake.

Ducal yacht, ‘Tastes The Golden Spray’ did not so much part the waters, as shoulder the liquid aside with an affronted huff. Her broad bow smacked each wavelet as though attempting to teach the liquid element a lesson.

Resplendent in gilt, inlay and costly paints, she was a broad, intimidating and generally impressive barge.

Both regal vessels bypassed the rickety dock at the trade ward and hove to at Gary’s humble stone pier. Their crews bustled about, heedless of the other vessel’s people.

They were pretty heedless of Seahorse too, nestling the enormous gilt barge uncomfortably close to the little boat.

Becky went down to the pier with a sour look at the crew of ‘Golden Spray’ and moved Seahorse to a shore side mooring, where she wouldn’t be buffeted by the enormous ship.

The local geese and ducks were pretty unhappy with all the activity as well, but they never got a vote anyway.

Mikkel’s clay digging operations had created a deep pool in this section of river, with steep banks and quite a few overhanging trees. It was a popular swimming hole in the hottest part of summer, but otherwise, just a shady pool of deep, still water.

The inn and hotsprings stood by the waterside, just far enough back for privacy. The treeline was close, but out in the yard things were bright and sunny.

Gary’s orchard spread back across the field, green and vibrant in springtime foliage and buzzing with lively pollinators. Blooms exploded like alchemist’s fireworks all around the place, whether in the orchard, his carefully tended planting beds, or bushes of flowers seemingly placed at random.

The situation at the waterside was less idyllic…

Guards in the livery of Shiraz and Holloman started gathering on the pier, awkwardly close to each other, as the two nobles tried to disembark at the same time.

The strange, melancholy and somehow lighthearted music continued to play on and on, drifting like a sweet summer scent of honeysuckle through the growing crowd.

Melody and harmony got together in the springtime air, and they were getting busy. The tranquil, festive and expectant mood soured, when the two proud vessels’ owners appeared and began making a scene about making the scene.

#

‘Autumn Leaves’ wrapped up while the lords were still Johnson-Jousting on the pier, so Gary stomped off to ‘regulate’ as he put it.

“Tawny, in the interest of… tranquility, I will accompany journeyman Shai to greet her guests, if you please…” Celeste announced. “Apprentice Gary, keep playing… whatever this is, while I handle this mess…”

“Tallum and Ivy need a little more time to get kitted out anyway, I guess.” He grumbled, waiting for his test subje… friends, to finish armoring themselves.

Cab was leading the cloaked band in the garden, keeping things light and lively.

Tambourines and elephants are playin' in the band,

Won't you take a ride on the flyin' spoon?

*Dood-n-doo-doo*

Wondrous apparitions, provided by magicians!

Doo doo doo, looking out my back door!

The golden duchess seized Shai’s hand and hauled her away from the happy creatures dancing on the lawn. “I dinnae even hae a proper stretch yet…”

She tried to put a welcoming face on, right up to the embankment overlooking the dock, where the lords were having a heated discussion over who should arrive before whom. The complexities were only beginning, as each lord’s retainers began hustling forward scrolls and tomes, detailing the tangled lineage of their individual masters.

Mubarak was trying to leverage his animosity to Belen for some obscure advantage, while Holloman flipped the script, boasting of his deep ties and actual fealty to the noble house Belen, who’s capital they were visiting… Separately, very much separately.

It was entertaining at first, on a very abstract level. Gary monitored the scene from the shadows, leaving Cab driving the band. His body was very much back under his command… though he felt a little loose and sloppy around the edges still.

Mubarak was radiant in ducal splendor, his elaborate and costly finery draped and folded in precise and elegant fashion. White pleats of snowy linen embroidered with golden crescent moons and stars, banded with satin ribbons of pale ivory, set the man’s smooth olive complexion off very well.

High, sharp cheekbones, an aquiline nose and firm chin gave him all the right building blocks and he groomed them into a face and manner that allowed him to wear his elaborate regalia, rather than it wearing him.

His comfortable and easy stance suggested that things were less formal in the ‘ducal treasury’, however.

Duke Holloman was slightly stout, with slightly disheveled hair and was dressed in very well tailored and fitted upmarket clothing. He looked more like a fantasy entertainment lawyer, than a legit duke. He had it all: shirt open a little too far, showing off his chest hair, gold medallions tangled in the bushy nest at his low collar, even slicked back, dyed black, oiled hair.

“So I will escort you to the palace, distributing largesse and handling the trivial details… so your grace, my brother duke, may fully concentrate on the upcoming sacred observances…” He blathered on and on making a full meal of the kind of oblique and side mouthed pablum, that politicos always go in for.

Celeste and Shai stood at the foot of the pier, watching the show for a while, waiting for the two nobs to figure out whose was bigger.

“Dae ye think it kin go on longer? I would fain vanish the dock an send the lot fer a plunge in the river, were they nae lords of the land.” Shai tutted softly.

Celeste tried to pretend to be shocked, but it was becoming idiotic.

Poor Jaspreet was trapped at the back of the throng, draped and veiled in indigo and gold, the colors of her house. Even behind her all concealing garments, anyone with eyes could see she was exhausted, uncomfortable and just wanted to be ashore.

“I’ll be reading a verse frae me boy’s book, an ye pretend ye dinnae see aught later, yer grace…” Shai whispered.

The duchess took a moment to digest that, before she smiled radiantly. “Oh, go on, be silly, I see nothing and hear even less.” She whispered with a smile, still completely unnoticed by the squabbling noblemen and their retainers.

“...as duke in my own right, owing fealty to none, it only follows, that you should follow after… as detailed in ‘Percival Hame: A Guide To Etiquette And Chivalry’.” Abed countered, replying to some stupid thing.

“Ah, but in ‘Uncommon Sense, Nobleways and Traditions Of The Twelve Duchies’, by Beringer, Et; all, primacy is given to the depth of each lord’s line, as you see, my genealogy is…”

Shai and Tawny were as yet unnoticed by any of the nobs or flunkies that mattered, so it was a simple matter for the smiling woman to stroll down the bank a few yards. Sitting on a stone, overlooking the fracas across the tiny anchorage, she developed a look of extreme concentration for a moment or two.

After just a few seconds, she got the attention of the blue and gold swathed woman, drawing her gaze to a series of absurdly large lily pads, leading in a direct line to her seat by the shore and a conveniently placed set of natural stone steps.

The fact that neither of those things had existed when the ships docked at the pier was immaterial… like most things in Gary and Shai’s house.

With a few faltering skips and a very dignified climb to the lawn, Jaspreet and Shai strolled back to the duchess, who nodded silently and led the trio off.

The two lords and their retainers continued debating the issue, unmindful that no one was around to really notice who set foot on shore first anyway.

#

Dance, music and warm afternoon sunshine kept the party rolling in the actual garden, while things got less logical just over the garden wall.

A small helpless girl faced off against a giant, her shield and mace against his enormous sledgehammer. They circled, feinting and jabbing for a while, it was obvious the big man was scared.

“I just can’t do it, somebody else… Oww!” While the big man was making excuses, the small mage slipped forward and whacked him on the ankle with her mace.

“Come on ya big baby! Here, I’ll just hunker down, take a swing at it and see what happens.” She tossed her mace to the lawn and drew up behind her gleaming, red and bronze shield.

“Go on, don’t be a wimp.” She called from behind her bulwark.

It took some time and a few more jibes from the tiny woman before he would even try. He stepped back and took a swing, half hearted and hesitant. Ten pounds of half enchanted iron whanged into her shield, right on target.

Nothing happened for a moment, as she considered the result.

“I didn’t feel anything, not even a jolt… but the decorations inside changed!” She shouted in excitement.

“Aim it at his torso… not the face! Then concentrate on your aura…” Gary called, from behind his twelve string guitar.

With a muffled and concussive blast, Tallum staggered back, looking dazed.

“Perfect! See? It lets you serve that impact back at him, on your time. The energy will slowly bleed off if you hold it and it can’t absorb any more energy until discharged.” Gary grinned happily.

“Go on, big guy… take another whack at her!”

The giant shook it off, and stood straight up, swinging his hammer with more confidence.

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Gary handed his guitar off to his shadow and joined Tallum and Ivy on the lawn. “I have a prototype, it’s kinda a success too.” He chattered, producing a steel round shield. “This one captures the energy and transmits it into the wielder’s aura, creating a short term full body kinetic shield effect.”

“That sounds awesome too!” Ivy shouted from behind her shield, as Tallum whomped her again. She blasted him halfway across the clearing, with her reply. “Let me try the other one!” She insisted.

“Oh, not a great idea, it works, but the body with the lesser mass loses on the deal.” She glared at him until he gave in. “Here, try it out, don’t say I didn’t warn you...” He traded her out for the simple steel shield, burnished bright, but otherwise unremarkable.

Tallum was really in the spirit of it now. He hauled off and whomped his massive sledge into his tiny lady’s shield with all he had. Three hundred pounds of man hurled ten pounds of solid iron at her with enough force to jelly the poor girl.

There was a loud, steely clang, as Ivy launched through the air and crashed into the orchard a dozen yards away.

“Ivy!” The giant screamed in horror, bolting for the site of her landing.

“I’m fine, not a scratch!” She shouted from the underbrush. “Works great except for the whole flying away thing.”

Together they strolled back over with matching grins. “I could feel my aura hardening as I flew. Only lasted a few seconds but it was crazy!”

“It has a minor mana cost, but mostly the energy comes from the initial attack. The whole thing is super inefficient… It’s more of a proof of concept than a useful item… Why are you smiling like that?”

The pair were grinning at each other as they eyeballed the angle and direction of his big garden bath. “Hey, Dannyl… wanna try something stupid?” Ivy shouted over the band, still playing in the garden.

#

The three women came strolling back from the pier, just as things were heating up in Gary’s little demonstration.

Tallum shook his arms out, settled on his hips and got ready to really give it a whack.

She stood with her legs bent to absorb the impact and held very still. A huge, chiming bong rang softly over the breathless spectators, as the fragile looking woman shrugged off the mighty blast.

“Amy, your turn!” Ivy yelled into the nearby garden pool. A dripping wet, tiny, naked girl came running over at full speed, carrying a simple steel round shield that covered her entirely.

She jumped up on a picnic table, squatted behind her metal bulwark and giggled:

“Ready!”

The small woman turned, carefully aimed and angled her shield at the one hiding the tiny girl and braced herself again.

There was no sound, no display of special effects or glowing nimbus of light, just the sensation of an awesome source of energy unleashing nearby.

…and the giggling, wailing, laughing scream of the tiny girl, who went flying twenty yards through the air, to splash down in the pool.

Shai, Celeste and Jaspreet stood in shock, as a whole mob of sensible, grown folks who should know better, watched her daughter get teed off, into the water hazard, shield and all.

“Gary Ward, I will hae thee broken on the rack, an that child gets her hair mussed!” Shai scolded furiously as she dashed for the pool.

Rio passed her, running the other way, carrying that same shield, giggling madly. “Shai! Jugando con… come play with us! Ivy grows tired!” He sang as he scampered by with his burden.

“Ivy! Por favor, una mas! I mean please! Again!” A few moments later, the little boy went hurtling over the garden wall and splashed into the pool.

“That’s enough nae more shenanigans ye foolish brats!” Shai scolded Gary and the two knuckleheads in particular, fixing her man, brother and sister with a penetrating gaze.

“I’d thought ye tae be a responsible pair… more the fool me!” She scolded them all the way back inside.

#

Tawny and Jaspreet were ensconced by the fire chatting happily, with Celeste, Naiomi and Otho.

“Abed and I spent a lovely evening at an inn just like this one on the road…” Jaspreet was saying, as Becky swanned by with a tea service and a smile, depositing her burden and pouring the tea with graceful moves.

“You again… how did you lot beat us here? You must have ridden through that awful storm!” The lady in blue whispered.

“To be honest I’ve been terribly seasick. Since we sailed away from that lovely little island inn, it’s been like a dream. Right until that awful storm hit...” She whispered from behind her veil.

“Since Tawny and I are both here, let’s examine you and see what we can do about that nausea? Hmm?” Naiomi chirped, as she leapt to her feet with astounding vigor.

Together they bustled the blue shrouded bride off to Tawny’s chambers.

#

“When next ye hae a mad experiment tae try, dinnae try it wi me children, fool!” She was still pretty hot over the flying kids, but watching them giggle and squeal over who splashed the most, or flew the highest sapped her will.

“Ye must at least pretend tae be a grownup, boy… from time to time.”

“So what’s going on at the dock? Two fancy boats?” He asked, slipping into the kitchen to work on dinner with Shai.

“Aye, Abed an Jaspreet hae come back calling, an duke Holloman of Port Ellis, by his flag. They do even now negotiate fer precedence an argue which shall touch shore first.”

She lowered her voice, just for him, with a disgruntled look on her face.

“I do see summat boy, of yer point on lords an such. They do squabble even now, like wee bairns. Dickering o’er whose slippered an dainty foot should land on Wheatford first, nae even kenning that this be my house.” She grumbled quietly as they worked.

“A pair of dainty silken fools wi nae place tae be, nor work fer their idle hands.”

“Think I could sell one of them a rocketship shaped like a cock?” He asked, with his mouth full of a sweet, early strawberry.

“I did search out that in yer mind, after ye did mention it… ‘twas a ribald tale called ‘Flesh Gordon’...” She murmured happily, while piling sweetened mascarpone cheese from her cousin’s dairy onto fresh, warm biscuits.

“Naughty, me boy, but very strange.”

“Oh, sweetie, you gotta watch the old Flash Gordon stuff to get the jokes… we have homework tonight.” He giggled happily at some mad memory. “really, I was thinking of the actual rich guy who built a ship shaped just like…” He switched gears smoothly. “...Amy! Tell Shai how much fun Sheildsies is!”

“Oh my goddess… you gotta try! Cept’ you’re kinda big… Gary and Tallum can build a Shai swatter!”

Amy’s blazing enthusiasm destroyed poor Shai’s resistance easily; as though her opinion hadn't mattered to begin with.

The three little ones immediately began drawing diagrams for launching the beleaguered woman through the sky.

“Giant swinging wrecking ball…?”

“Catapult…?”

“Huge wooden boot..?”

The peanut gallery kept tossing the kids absurd suggestions for the ‘ShaiSwatter’ he was now responsible for building.

“Nope, I aint building anything like that…” He may answer to ‘Fool’, but there was no way he was encouraging them.

“Where are the ‘dainty silken fools’ now?” Leo asked, from right behind Shai, at the bar.

The unfortunate woman’s brain hit a big bump, as she slowly realized that the duke had been listening to her unvarnished opinion of his peers, being bandied about in the common room.

“They’re still squabbling on the dock…” Becky chimed in happily. “I set Celeste and Jaspreet up on the balcony in the master bedroom, so they can enjoy the show in comfort.”

Slowly an evil grin passed over Gary’s face. “Wanna mess with them? Just a little?”

“Those two are peers of the realm, bearing the burdens and dignity of their offices with as much grace as each man can find within himself.” Leopold said with the gravity of a man who knows those burdens well.

“Of course I want to screw with them… nothing dangerous or obscene… or traceable.”

“You ever notice how there aren’t any gnats, skeeters or biting nasties in my yard? Even though I’m right here on the water?” Gary asked softly as he led the troop upstairs.

“Likewise, rats, mice, beetles and bugs kinda just don’t show up.”

#

Lady Jaspreet was delighted to have more company, while waiting for her silly man to finish his argument. “I can’t believe they haven’t noticed yet…” She whispered in excitement.

All along the pier, lanterns had ignited as the gloom began to deepen down on the water. A small, respectful crowd had gathered to watch the noble doings, while more than a few enterprising orphans had started hustling snacks from the market stalls among the people.

“I’m surprised you aren’t running the nuggie booth Becks…” Gary whispered as the men down on the pier began to fidget, just a little.

“We’re down to an acceptable level of worm meat… we have about four hundred pounds left in your magical deepfreeze… you can be trusted with that much.” Becky announced solemnly.

Now that they were under observation, neither lord was giving an inch, both men took great pains, consulting their legal and genealogical scholars, while their guards tried to look menacing.

#

“Well, lady Jaspreet, let us welcome you to Wheatford, at long last…” Celeste gushed, when her husband arrived. A quick round of noble formalities was dusted under the rug and the whole group sat down to watch the function on the pier.

No one really noticed that the balcony was no longer a cozy fit for two, but a large deck with seating and softly glowing lanterns.

“I still want to know how you have such a fine inn here… and how you got here before us.” Jaspreet fumed quietly.

“The Wheatford branch of Shai’s inn is a local institution… We are so fortunate to have a franchise in town.” Becky eased in with a smile, deflecting the noblewoman gently.

“Branch? Franchise? You were the waitress at the other inn!” Jaspreet fussed and stamped her slippered foot in frustration.

“Yes auntie, we came up the river road, one of my party has a gift which speeds our travel…” Tawny took the lady by the hand and spoke in a clipped whisper. “State secrets, I cannot say more… I’m sure you understand.”

The lady nodded gravely. “Certainly this lovely inn cannot be a state secret… who is the publican? Where are our hosts?”

Tawny looked over at Gary and Shai, sitting with the little ones. The kids cared nothing for the fancy people on the pier, Amy just enjoyed being in a busy, festive crowd, while the boys followed her everywhere.

“Those two again? How can this be?” The noblewoman was cranky and upset, a feeling that seemed to be building, the longer the play outside went on.

“This is not really an inn, auntie… and it is also a state secret, though one that is damnably hard to conceal.”

Tawny had that same smile she wore for the few occasions when she had her mother, the duchess, in her power.

“Terribly sorry about that… we mustn’t divulge too much…”

“You are very cruel, Trelawny Helene Belen…” Jaspreet hit that hated middle name and ground it in, with a cruel smile of her own.

The three noblewomen kept sweetly backstabbing eachother and giggling together, over tea and strawberry short biscuits.

The two lords on the mooring feasted on ego waffles with hot air syrup. Even as the shadows darkened in the deep, shady backwater and the biting, buzzing vermin came out to feast, they carried on.

“How long can those two keep this up?” Gary asked, at once horrified and fascinated by the display of one dumbsmanship going on down below.

“...In the case of lord Agnew vs, matriarch Humma, the judiciary panel found that secondary and tertiary noble connections do nothing to strengthen one’s own claims to precedence! What care I, that your second cousin’s brother is the baron of Thisk and his brother, the earl of Pizzwyck?” Abed snapped, his temper starting to show, while duke Holloman was still blithely insisting on his primacy in mild and legalistic terms.

More than a couple guards on both sides seemed to be asleep on their feet, in purest boredom.

“I really thought the midges and mosquitoes would do it…” Gary marveled softly. “I could play my flute for them… there are a lot of waterfowl around…”

“No!” All the bathers sang in chorus, shutting his idea down hard.

“It washes out…” He grumbled. “You know… my bag of tricks has a lot of fun stuff in it, but my sweet lady has fun and games too…” Gary said with a smile.

“If your lordliness would do his fancy paperwork trick, we can solve this issue in a very satisfying way… and piss off lady Helene too…”

A quick document, written by Shai, signed by the duke and run by Liam to the city hall… to be posted on the notice board, solved the first issue.

A formal notice of assumption for a lovely pasture near the market ward took its place on the board… The field was the property of lord and lady Kinneman… lady Helen was unlikely to be pleased, but that was the point. The date of the notice was a little hard to make out, but the ducal signet was very clear.

Shai and Gary strolled across the bridge and down to the sweet scented pasture on the town side of the river and summoned a dock there, stretching the outer limits of Gary’s control and range.

It turned out rather well anyway, with festive lights, bright, colorful bunting and a sweet flagstone path leading to the market road.

Meanwhile, Becky and Dannyl escorted the still exhausted and shaky noblewoman down to forlorn and ignored Seahorse tied up at the bank, near the pier. The two young people helped her aboard, unnoticed and unremarked by the fractious nobles.

Becky and Danny had both been eager to begin practicing with their own gifts for obfuscation and distraction… Everything is cultivation, even motoring a magical launch across the river to the cheery new dock.

Leo, Celeste, the whole band of strange cloaked musicians and colorful weirdos, all the Adventurers and most of the residents of the commons, dressed for a feast day, went dancing across the bridge to the new decorated pier.

Tying up to the festive dock, under the soaring strains of a bright musical fanfare, the two young people led lady Jaspreet to meet her ducal welcoming party. They had joyfully assembled to greet the first guest to arrive.

How fitting that it should be the bride herself.

“I will be awaiting you at the palace, have fun with your new friend!” Jaspreet yelled into Shai’s little collar button. Somehow, it threw her voice across the river, borne on the magical music discs built into the bow of the silly little boat.

“Don’t stay out too late!”

The ducal party rode away, accompanied by musicians and dancers, leaving the two quarrelsome lords on a cold, wet, suddenly very dark pier, as the lanterns went out one by one.

#

“Now I see why they did the underwear thing… those bozos could have gone all night! Made me wanna give them both an atomic wedgie.” Gary mumbled into Shai’s hair that night.

Despite her intense reaction to a simple game of sheildsies, she still awarded him Bigspoon for his simple and satisfying solution to the noble nonsense.

“I dinnae think ye could be subtle and gentle… boy of mine.” She murmured happily, as she snuggled back into his warm body.

“Broken clocks… gotta be right every once in a while…” He murmured, lost in bliss.

#