Ch: 222 Knows He The Wickedness?
Third bell came and went, as did two more days of calm, quiet life at the little inn… then three more. The family took the week of peace and quiet to settle into a ‘routine’ of their own devising. Each afternoon a few Bathers would go out for sailing lessons with Esperanza and her crew on the river boat.
They climbed and clambered all over her, learning the basics of wind and current, navigation and working the complex network of ropes and cables that controlled the short mast and her wide sails.
Gary, Shai and Tallum were the least frequently along for the sailing lessons, since they were working on the modifications and refit of both vessels. The shipwright work alone would have taken weeks or more under normal circumstances.
With the lunatic craftsman able to breath underwater for hours at a stretch and summon tools to his hands with a thought; even most of the tasks that would require a drydock were handled quickly. Massive bronze parts vanished from the workshop, with Liam’s help, then they appeared under the ship, in the hands of his semi aquatic brother.
When he flopped out onto the pier at the end of the third, tranquilly busy day and vomited up a double lungful of river, he shot Esperanza a thumbs up. “Should be ready to test soon. Just gotta finish the controls.”
The busty captain hugged his wet, muddy, bedraggled body anyway, bouncing with excitement and boobs.
On the morning of day four, Esperanza’s Bounty eased out into the river for a trial run on the propulsion system he and Tallum had dreamed up together. The main element was a Möbius strip in bronze and another smaller, in iron mirroring the larger attached to the bronze, twining together and mirroring each other in eye watering ways.
The engine was securely mounted to the underside of the boat below, just forward of the rudder.
Esperanza had a bronze and silver bracer studded with small semi precious stones on her left forearm, which she fiddled with and adjusted constantly. The metal was covered with intricate engravings and enamel work scrolling and entangling in improbable shapes.
She stood at the tiller with a look of deep concentration on her face. Slowly, the ship slid forward, as the water behind churned and swirled. She shifted her focus to the bow engine, mounted transverse, to help with steering. She surged a little Mana into it, hurling the water on her starboard bow, to the port side.
With ponderous dignity she slipped out of the deep pool and into the current. Bounty was sliding upstream, a fine curling bow wave wedging out into the calm river, disturbing the geese, ducks and swans.
#
Mornings were dedicated to crafts and lessons, for the kids and the others as well, keeping the family busy and active. Rolf spent as much time as he could at the inn, down in the workshop with Shai, Ivy, Tallum, Angie and Becky, trying to learn how the mad boy managed his weird enchantments.
“The runes and glyphs are… sticky? No that’s not right… clingy, that’s more like it. If I allow them, they pull just a little of my essence out as I work them into the project… like invisible fingerprints.” He paused to think for a moment about that.
“Yeah… so all this stuff… Each one of these objects, whether magical or mundane, has traces of me in it, just faintly most of the time…”
“That’s crazy… wouldn’t that eventually tear your mind and soul apart? Fraying and shredding them like that?” Angie asked. “Thirp says you are barely holding together most of the time already…”
He shrugged. “Thirp gets a little dramatic… ‘torn apart’ can mean a lot of different things.”
“No, really… it can’t.” Rolf added in, agreeing with his girlfriend without question, as is the custom in all civilized lands. “What I’ve seen of your crazy dreamworld suggests that you are deeply damaged and riddled with chaotic and random elements.”
“Those are my ‘random and chaotic elements’, buddy. We aren’t all square pegs, square holes.” He grumbled happily, while carefully inscribing a tiny nest of seemingly random marks on a huge bronze bolt. It joined a small box of similar bolts, alongside little crates of nuts and washers, also in bronze and weirdly enormous.
“What is this? Some terrible engine of destruction, or a new candy making machine?” Rolf asked with a wry grin.
“Neither… and both, it’s a commerce engine, to move our new riverboat around, like my little launch, Seahorse and Esperanza’s Bounty. Maybe we’ll go Adventuring on the sea, maybe we’ll take up hauling chocolate… could we do both? I think so.”
He was swaying along to a chipper and upbeat song about a ‘Little Boat Of Love’ as he worked. Before long, he was engraving runes into a selection of oddly shaped, massive bronze plates, each one pierced with holes. The forges were busy too, Tallum had an enormous bronze ring mounted on a wide table top jig, restrained by heavy wooden pegs, carefully he used pincers and clamps to manipulate the object, gently twisting it into a strangely convoluted, eye watering shape.
Shai was working on a very familiar breastplate, carefully welding closed the deep gouges the troll’s supernaturally keen claws had ripped across the sturdy steel.
“You really mean to ‘go on strike’...? That seems foolish in the extreme.” Rolf muttered as they worked on their crafts in perfect harmony, across the shop.
“Foolish would be letting the nobles and guilds hurl us here and there, stomping out problems and resolving issues, working ourselves to the limit…” He looked up from his work for a moment, meeting Rolf’s gaze fiercely.
“Only to have those same forces and groups break into my home, harass my guests and kidnap my children, on multiple occasions.”
“Yes… well… you see, err… Blast you Gary!” Rolf sputtered and fumed.
Angie sighed and skooched in closer to the burly blonde knight. “Relax and just breathe your way through it; this is a natural reaction when encountering a chaotic and deeply frustrating entity.” She calmed him back down with practiced ease, her gentle touches and quiet whispers brought a small smile on both their faces.
“Both of you are welcome to go jump in the river, you know?” He suggested gently, with his hands busy with more shining bronze parts.
#
Nicolai was staying on for the week to guide the new sailors, so Esperanza’s bounty sailed short handed. They prepared to depart on a bright morning; heading for Port Sunderland, bearing Grace and her team home, along with a sadly cheerful Angie.
“I’ll see you almost every night! Her grace may choose to visit from time to time as well; we have a supply of Liam’s ‘stoned tablets’.”
“Her grace will certainly visit… So long as I am welcome.” Duchess Sheng said softly. “I trust your spat with duke Belen will not sour you on poor Julius. He’s desperately jealous that Angie can help me come visit you.”
“Jules is a good friend… I usually forget he’s a duke anyway.” Gary shrugged and sighed. “Gonna miss you guys…”
Grace broke free from the kids, leaving only a few sniffles in her wake and marched aboard Bounty, followed by her team. Orlando was the last one to climb the gangway, he dashed over and gave Gary a massive hug before flying up the ramp and vanishing.
That left only Angie, hugging close to Becky and the three little nightmares, with Rolf nervously fidgeting nearby.
“... at least three nights a week…” Amy was still laying down the ground rules for ‘allowing’ Angie to return to her home across the shallow sea in Port Sunderland. “...You gotta come back and visit in person too!” Amy concluded, as she released Angie’s trouser leg from her wet, snotty grip.
“See? Now you gotta stay…” She mumbled weepily. “Gary’s gotta do your laundry, I ruined your pants.”
“I can do my own laundry, sweety… but don’t tell Gary that, ok? He gets my whites so bright!” She tickled Wilf to make him smile. “I must go, the duchess can’t be waiting for me. I love you and will see you all soon.” She gave the three tots another go round of hugs and kisses, including Becky for good measure.
Rolf joined her as she walked to the gangway, While she was blotting her eyes with a hankie. “Just a moment, sir Rolf, I don’t want you to remember me like this, til we meet again.” She huffed at him, turning away.
“Shut up girl.” He grumbled fiercely, as he swept in and kissed her full on the lips, in the middle of the town’s ratty old pier.
Her arms wound around the broad, golden young man, as though trying to tuck him into her pocket for later. He was no more dignified; gobbling inexpertly at her face, under the eyes of a large crowd of spectators.
More than a few locals had come to see the mysterious duchess, her ‘toy soldiers’ and the strange new boat sail off. They got a show that would fuel the gossip engine for a few more weeks, assuming no one found anything juicier than the steamy and hilariously inexpert makeout sesh unfolding on the pier.
Finally, Tawny strolled over and tapped Rolf on the shoulder a few times, eventually breaking the clinch. The poor boy flushed the color of a new made bronze mark and wobbled on his feet, when the reality came home to roost.
Tawny handed Rolf off to Dannyl, who grinned and staggered off to the house with the woozy knight. Esperanza danced down the gangway herself, collecting the wayward Angie and bustling her aboard.
“This one will see to it that your boy gets the proper coaching… that was difficult to watch.” She whispered, with the dizzy young woman tucked in close to her formidable bosom. “Your own carnal lessons will be this one’s task, sweet sister. Kissing is an art, my child. Like sailing, singing or fuc…”
The trader and her charge vanished up the gangway before any further juicy bits of wisdom could be gleaned… Beyond Angie’s startled cry of: “Esperanza! Such language!” Through the closed hatchway door.
#
Nicolai sighed happily. “Esperanza never takes passengers, she can and will only give passage to family…” He murmured with a grin. “The family grows quickly these days.”
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
“Yeah, she’s also much better at controlling her aura since she Contracted Thirp, so that was deliberate. I think Watching those two flail around has been getting to her...” Gary mumbled happily, draping his arm around the small sailor’s shoulders. “Rolf better study hard, I know Angie will.”
#
Dannyl and Becky dragged Rolf down into the workshop as soon as Bounty sailed around the first bend in the river, headed downstream.
“Ok, that was tough to watch…” Dannyl said firmly, once the still slightly dizzy knight was downstairs, away from prying eyes. “Becky and I are going to work with you and see if we can’t solve this problem…”
“What problem?” He grumbled when his eyes slowly began to clear. “You dragged me down here before I even got to watch them sail off from the city walls!”
“Esperanza’s orders, Rolf... Watching you two fumble at each other is messing with the vibe.” Becky announced firmly.
“Esperanza is not in command of me!” He answered petulantly. “And I’m certain I don’t know what you mean! ‘Fumble at each other’ indeed! Cheek and temerity are Gary’s forte, not yours, Becky…”
“The supplicant will address the High priestess respectfully, as High priestess Becky, or Becky Senpai.” Dannyl barked firmly, his gaze hard.
“I say, fun is fun…” Rolf sputtered, until Jennah slipped from the shadows, her golden glare searing his eyebrows.
“Eldest sister Jennah…” He sputtered even more moistly.
“Rolf, baby brother Rolf… Becky and I are deeply concerned about your intentions with young Angie… are they honorable?” Her fearsome, lambent glare made his knees quake.
“Certainly! I will make her my wife, no matter what you say… you… of all people should understand!” He snapped, as his rage overpowered her intimidating visage.
“Good boy… Mother will be absolutely infuriated, I couldn’t be happier.” Her glorious golden, deep dimpled smile washed over the workshop, bouncing off the bright colors and enhancing the morning sun pouring through the windows.
“Except for the shameful manner in which you have been comporting yourself in public!” That terrible glare landed back on him like a heavy pack on a long march, weighing him down.
“I’m sure I don’t know what you are talking about!” Rolf snapped back feeling his oats a little. “I challenge you to find fault in my conduct, Sister Dear!” He bit off the last two words so hard that they crackled in the air between them.
“You drooled all over her chin Rolf; we could hear your teeth clacking together from here and I’m pretty sure you showed the whole town how you pitch your trouser tent in public.” Dannyl said with a sigh.
“Becky Senpai will be instructing you, so that when Angie sees you again, you won’t embarrass yourself. It will be my pleasure to assist her in whatever way she needs.”
“What, under the blessed Light are you prattling on about?” Rolf demanded, sounding genuinely confused… But he was glowing like molten gold, blushing so hard even Jennah couldn’t look away.
“Rolf… You kiss like Gary fights.” Becky finally said it aloud.
That brought Rolf up cold, his face becoming simply tan as the blood drained away. “As bad as that? No… you jest…” He muttered, clearly shaken.
“Angie asked what to do… she’s at a loss… I guess, by the time she gets past your resistance, you’re just a brainless lamprey; all sucking lips and drool.” Becky said gently to the traumatized knight.
“What can I do?” He whispered, in the voice of a man down at the bottom of a deep, cold well.
“We’ve been researching the problem in detail for a few nights. We have a plan to correct your form and retrain you… it’s going to take dedication and hard work.” Dannyl said in a clinical and cold tone. “I wonder whether he’s ready yet.”
“If you get in trouble you can always ask Her.” Jennah whispered, as she drifted up the stairs. “Be careful if you do, if She learns your plan, so might… He.” With that ominous declaration she vanished.
“Don’t worry Rolf-kun… we have this under control.” Becky said firmly, clapping her student on the shoulder.
“I hope so, Becky Senpai.”
#
“Ok, this is tougher than we thought…” Becky grumbled an hour later.
“You could kiss him… for training purposes…” Danny suggested, as he dragged the dazed and horny knight off yet another drool sodded Angie waifu pillow.
“No way! First, gross! Second, Angie would murder all three of us. Third, he would never… I think he’s never kissed anyone but his mom and sisters… and that unicorn…” She paused for a moment, lost in thought. “Unicorn…” She whispered.
“Rolf, tell your folks you’re taking a week off… we’re stealing you away for a training montage!”
#
Duchess Sheng shed her finery for her common clothes and joined her warriors and an off duty sailor in the spacious lounge they had created on deck, enjoying a spring day on the river. Yusef had his guitar on his lap, sprinkling music over the water as they sailed along, chasing Falco downstream.
“I hope Becky can help…” Angie sobbed just a little into the duchess’ wide woolen skirts. She pulled a few hankies from her pockets…
‘Pockets!’ Grace shuddered with joy at the thought. Her dressing ladies were already furious at being left home… this might drive them to rebellion, the conservative old bats. She abandoned idle daydreams of sending the dressing ladies to work in the orphanage laundry… To concentrate on her young, heartsick ward.
“All will be well, my love. She will make sure things don’t go too far astray.”
“Yes, your Grace.” Angie muttered as she fell into untroubled sleep.
#
Tallum had needed to do a lot of explaining and drew a number of diagrams before Gary got it solved. It turns out, ‘drydocks and coffer dams’ are complicated, but water pumps are super complex.
Conjuring walls around Esperanza and supports to hold her steady in place was easy, creating a mana powered water pump to drain his conjured structure took all the mental effort he could manage.
Before long he was underneath, on conjured decking, standing above the silt. He scurried about, giving her copper clad hull a good scraping and using his new water pump and the massive conjured tank of real water on the bank nearby, to invent the pressure washer.
“Wait… let me try that.” Tallum grumbled, climbing down to join him.
“I dunno… I’m considered an expert in this art back home…” Gary murmured contentedly, as he sprayed filth and scum off the underside of the ship. “You might mess it up, cause it’s so satisfying to do.”
“Please, let me try… it seems… soothing.” Tallum sighed as Gary handed over his weird bronze nozzle thing.
After a moment’s instruction the giant was cheerfully blasting filth off the bottom of the boat, while Gary crept away with a wicked grin on his face. “The old Tom Sawyer whitewash trick…” He sighed contentedly. “Gotta find Shai to rename the boat!” Gary bustled away happily, searching for his lady love.
“People are gonna think I’m talking to myself again…” He whispered to the friends hanging out in his shadow.
#
Dannyl, Becky and Rolf vanished somewhere, freeing Gary up to really get to work… Down inside Esperanza’s superstructure there was a lot of noise, from tools and musical instruments… Often it was difficult for the uninitiated to discern which was which.
“He do call this ‘Post Punk’ tis raucous an profane… be glad ye dinnae ken his language, the lyrics be vile.” Shai told Harlan and Adelia, when they came by to visit the grandkids.
Gary wrapped up a super extended, semi acoustic folk punk cover of the Meatmen’s ‘Orgy Of One’ with a particularly sustained masturbatory dance move of victory. He shook imaginary goo off his hand as the band wound down, fading back into his shadow, from all over the boat.
“Gross, Gary.” Becky said with a giggle. “I came down to tell you Rolf will be coming along with us for the week. Esperanza’s orders.”
“Well if Ranza… wait! She’s not the captain of this boat!” Gary grumbled softly, lest she hear, somehow. Renamed and now afloat again, her slow, gentle movements were very soothing, even while he was being bossed around. “Not the captain any more!”
“We have a project underway, an active craft we are working. It’s Thirp’s cult business so butt out!” She said offhandedly. “Jennah set it all up in advance.”
“Not with me she didn’t! I’m the one in charge now! Wait… Jennah, you say?” Gary gulped audibly, as his brain and ears caught up with his mouth. He cracked a wan, feeble smile. “Sure thing… Rolf’s welcome… don’t tell Jennah I mouthed off, please?”
“You spew nonsense and insults at nobles and aristocrats all day long, but Jennah has you wrapped up tighter than a new bobbin…” Becky scolded him gently. “What kind of ‘rebel’ are you?”
“Going against the dukes and the pantheon… that’s easy. Jennah’s in the tailor’s guild! She can make all my favorite colors, cuts and styles go out of fashion in an afternoon over tea!” Gary squawked. “I’m not going to live in a fantastical magical world of high necklines and sensible female armor!”
“Gary, you make clothes and armor and they are all sensible… except your own.” Becky tried to reason with the panicked craftsman, but he was lost in one of his fits.
“Just like that!” He snapped his fingers deafeningly loud in the confines of the boat’s hold. “She could make bikini armor obsolete… longer hemlines, less decolletage, she could do it! That’s real power!” He whispered in awe.
“Right. I’m going topside, you work your way through that…” Becky left him down there, gently closing the hatchway after herself. “Nuttier than squirrel poop.” She mumbled fondly.
#
Rolf went to bed early that night, he was fast asleep and popped into being in the crazy dream house as soon as his eyes closed.
“Ahh, sir Rolf!” Marduk exclaimed happily. “We have been expecting you.”
In a secluded corner of the garden, two dusky figures of shadow embraced passionately, in a bower of twining roses, beside a crystal blue stream; that may or may not be ‘Italian’...
Garbo and Valentino were putting on a master class, with Rolf, Thirp and Marduk diligently studying.
The two figures’ lips brushed at first, fingers entwining in an embrace, lips meeting again, with greater pressure. She parted her lips subtly, not an invitation, an opportunity. Would he pounce, or await an invitation?
He leaned close, his own lips barely parted… and exhaled ever so gently as their mouths brushed. His invitation soon followed.
Together they danced without music, communicating wordlessly of desire, restraint, passion and tenderness.
“Human mating rituals are complicated.” Eponna complained sourly. “Come over here and stick me, stud!” She stamped her foot at Marduk in frustration.
“Sorry Rolf, duty calls!” Marduk scampered off, chasing Eopnna into the woods. “Wait up Pona! I wanna try a few new things first!”
“Don’t look at me, lady Thirp…” Rolf mumbled apologetic, polite and terrified all at once. “Angie would be upset if she arrived and found me kissing you. Even if it were for this ‘science’ deity so many of you seem to adore.”
Thirp rattled her mandibles in amusement at the young man. “I could assume a guise better adapted to kissing… but I will always be venomous… we should attempt to contain our shared passion, sweet Rolf.” She scooted closer in a few short, skittering hops. “Ours must remain a bittersweet desire, eternally unfulfilled, tragically untasted.”
She put two of her front legs on the back of the bench she now shared with the petrified knight and whispered in his ear. “If we can restrain ourselves…”
“Lady Thirp, are you ‘breaking my balls’ right now?” Rolf asked calmly. “It really feels that way, but I am in a strange dreamworld, under the influence of narcotic mushrooms and dryad candy…”
“Yes, sir Rolf, I’m having a bit of a jest at your expense. I’m sorry.”
“Well, in that case… good one. I was terrified.”
#
Angie and Grace appeared with Gary and Shai right after, but the host and hostess of the party had their own things to attend to, off on another part of the small globe.
Grace scooped up the kids and dashed for Eponna’s herd in a mad storm of excited giggles, not all of which were from the children.
That left Angie and Rolf shyly staring at each other in the garden… Rolf coughed nervously. “I have some very specific instructions from Becky… something about making a man out of an ‘otaku’… I really don’t understand any of that. Or what an ‘otaku’ is, but I have a script!”
He coughed and struck a pose of casual and intense physical dominance over the small woman; leaning over her, where she sat on a garden bench.
“I have homework, help me study nerd girl.” Rolf said with a cocky and casual attitude. “Wanna take a walk and make out?”
“I dunno… what if you turn out to be one of those rapacious and lusty knights, like in the stories?” She asked demurely, hiding her smile behind upheld fingers.
“Knights are honorable, charitable, virtuous and chaste, miss Angie!” He huffed and strutted around her in pretended indignation. “I’ve read the literature and heard the stories… what kind of filth have you been reading, young lady?”
“The kind where the girl gets her knight, whatever anyone else says!” She cooed back. “Now let’s see about this homework, mister captain of the football team.”
Without any sensation or external effect, she was wearing a chunky sweater, thick black frames around her eyes and long wool skirts. Rolf looked down, he was clad in skin tight cloth, all white and silver, with odd pads and plates built in at shins, forearms, thighs and shoulders.
“Useless as armor, unless you were just running into a crowd of people and bashing about…” He murmured, as he considered the helmet on his hip, it was very light and durable, allowing fine hearing and vision as well…
Angie snapped her fingers in Rolf’s face a couple times to jolt him back.
“Forget the weird costume armor, I don’t get this thing either. Just scratch ‘nerdy Angie and quarterback Rolf’ off the list.”
#
Bright and early the next morning, The whole household trooped down onto the dock, climbed aboard. “Ready to set sail admiral.” The first mate reported.
“Captain Shai, give the order.” Amy replied lazily from a swinging hammock chair, overlooking the main deck. Rio and Wilf were crammed in too, creating a cozy, swaying mess.
“Bosun Wilford, pipe tae quarters! All hands, prepare tae cast off!” Shai called out, startling a few ducks nearby…
“First mate, if’n ye would?” She sat down at the tiller and dropped a pillow on her toes for the grinning musician.
“I kinda miss being your cabin boy… can I be demoted, just for today…” He looked up, bending his neck to peer back at her with a silly, naughty grin. “...and tonight too?”
“Aye… if ye will be admiral of me navy taemorrow night…” She purred. “Then I’ll be yer ‘li’l buddy’, an ye kin swat me bum wi yer silly hat.”
“Gross, we’re sitting right here!” Amy complained mildly.
“Sorry kids.” Gary and Shai mumbled in harmony.
They didn’t ‘cast off’, Gary just unmade the house… and the lines used to moor the newly renamed riverboat. Motor yacht Moonrise slipped away from a dock that wasn’t there anymore.
#