Ch: 105 Lucky Charms
“I see the invocations and glyphs for air, fire, mana absorption and concentration… the rest is nonsense.” Tallum fumed, fogging up his magnifying lens. He had one of Gary’s self lighting pipes on the bench, studying its enchantment. “I feel it barely tickle when I pick it up, like I’m shaking hands with a friend, that’s it.”
He picked up the tiny artifact and puffed it to life thoughtfully. “Amicus says it’s something to do with his gift for translation… I dunno. A lot of it is just ones and zeros… that makes no sense at all.”
Ivy sighed and draped herself over the giant smith, much the way a kitten would. “I tried adding them up… all those ones and zeros… every time they added up the same… fortytwo. Always fortytwo. I found a twentyone once… looked closer, each one was incised in twice, for Fortytwo.”
Tallum scooped up his tiny mate and headed for the door, a bright square of spring sunshine at the end of the workshop. “This is boring, let’s go make some trouble in Otho’s music class.”
She gave a gleeful little thumbly rumbly on the tiny goatskin drum dangling from her sash. “Good plan lover, carry on!”
Her shy, taciturn, once too embarrassed to stand up straight man; stood up straight with a pretty girl riding in his arms and strolled out into the sunshine. He whistled a happy tune to the beat of her little drum, almost entirely on key, as they strolled.
“What’s that song, lover?” She asked dreamily, mumbling into his neck.
“I dunno… just something…” He said softly, oh so softly, his breath spread over her like a warm blanket. He began to sing nonsense rhymes just for her, in that voice that shook her everything.
Oye cómo va,
Oye cómo va, mi ritmo,
Bueno pa' gozar,
Mulata.
“Gods, what is that, so catchy…” Ivy began to whisper along as he thumped on his mighty chest with his free hand… the way Gary did when excited and caught without an instrument that would serve the moment.
#
“Dear gods and spirits above and below, that’s catchy.” Otho cheered as the orphans’ band took up the simple song with the complex and irresistible rhythm.
Oye cómo va, mi ritmo,
Bueno pa' gozar,
Mulata.
“Even when he is gone, Gary always delivers!” Otho shouted over the band. “He cursed me most thoroughly in this very language when we first met. The boy is a wellspring!”
“What does it mean?” Ivy asked over the exuberant noise.
“No idea at all…” He sang.
#
Ali’s clerical robes and legion badge got him past the guard at the gate with a smile and a wave.
“A new waif for the family? A new brother or sister?” The one handed man asked, tipping back his green cap with a smile.
Ali frowned slightly and nodded. “I must deliver this babe to high priest Otho directly, along with my report. Do you know where he is?”
“Between second and fourth… music class with the older kids. Should be in the dining hall.” He grinned and peeked in on the beefy toddler swaddled in the priest’s arms. “Welcome little one. Welcome home.”
#
Music guided his steps before long, primarily, several loud and crashing drums. They were playing a complex and intricate piece, with less than complete success.
As he approached, strings, voices and horns made their presence known, playing the same tune with varying levels of skill. The enthusiasm went a long way as did the lyrics, repetitive and simple.
For the first time, the child stirred in his arms. After two days on a bumpy wagon and two nights rolled in Ali’s bedroll with him, he squirmed gently in his blanket bundle. Even sleeping under the wagon, the boy hadn’t woken, eaten or produced any waste at all. Simply slept, silent and unmoving.
His eyes popped open, big brown and strangely deep. He smiled up at the priest with a mouth full of teeth that had absolutely not been there when the infant could still fit in his pocket. The lad drew a breath and sang.
Oye cómo, va mi ritmo,
Bueno pa' gozar,
Mulata…
#
“Someone fetch me Naiomi of Healer and get the duke.” Otho barked at his kids, who scrambled to obey without delay or complaint.
“Sweet gods, another one…” He turned to Ali with a hopeful smile.
“Please, say nothing, your report should be heard by all interested parties at once.” He turned to a red haired giant and a tiny blonde girl, standing at his side and cooing at the child in wonder and joy.
“Ivy, Tallum... can you contact the others? We will be needing them, even… the boy.” He gave a dramatic, mocking shudder, while smiling wide.
“Uhh… kinda, but that’s a big ask… either way, we gotta wait till Amy and Wilford’s naptime.” The tiny blonde shot a suspicious glance at Ali. “You know this guy Otho? He’s all right?”
“I am a noble of the realm and a member of clergy, you ignorant child! Orphans do not question…” Ali snapped, glaring at the common girl with fury plain on his face.
“Ali, shut up before Tallum breaks something you value.” Otho bounced the child on his hip and received a happy burble in reply.
“If his new brother and I were not present, you would already be in some trouble.” He sighed softly at the child. “And yes, lord Ali is trustworthy… as such. Please contact the boy, Shai or Becky as soon as you can.”
“So much for a little peace and quiet.” Tallum muttered, still glaring at the nobleman.
#
“What do you mean Otho? I can’t bring a baby home to my wife and not explain this… or even worse if I tried… madness.” Ali spat, furious and upset beyond all good graces. “A father indeed…”
“Nevertheless, the event you described is literally; the manner in which this child was birthed into the world, by your hand alone.”
Otho handed the sleeping child off to the giant smith with a smile. “Under the law, this child is born of you, making you his mother in a way… how amusing.”
“I cannot, will not. No, this child comes to the orphanage, those are my orders.” He shifted and squirmed in his seat as though it were heating up. “I will not, cannot bring some foundling waif into my family and make him my heir…” He crossed his arms resolutely and glared at Otho and his duke. “I would consider fosterage, but I will not adopt a nameless child into my house.”
“Ivy, Tallum, my apologies. Lord Ali is not, in fact, ‘cool’. Please take your new brother in hand and get him situated, I will be along shortly.” Otho sighed. “Lord Ali, you know full well what that child’s likely fate will be, do you insist?”
“I do.” He snapped.
“So be it. As the law states, this child is now an orphan.” A soft, unquiet thrill ran through the room, disturbing the nobles and notables gathered to hear the priest’s report.
“Joy is saddened by your choice, but my friends and children will embrace this lost one as we have so many. I pray you do not come to regret this choice.”
Otho swept from the room with a nod to the gathered audience and a sharp, disappointed glance at Ali.
#
The couple strolled out of the conference room holding their new brother and smiling. Ivy’s fingers, tapping and thudding on her tiny drum out of long habit, roused the boy, making him wiggle in time.
Tallum softly whistled the new tune they had been playing… and got the softly mumbled chorus in reply, from deep within the blankets.
“Yeah, that’s it.” Ivy whispered. “We hear you brother.”
#
Ivy held the ring in her palm and shrugged. “Here goes lover, see you on the other side.” She smiled and slipped the ring on her thumb. “Nothing happened… Oh well, come on, get in bed, might as well nap.”
He climbed into Ivy’s enormous bed, crafted by Gary and smuggled into her room, in blatant violation of the rules. The giant snuggled his tiny woman and the little bundle close, with a deeply satisfied sigh. They drifted comfortably into sweet sleep.
#
“Ghahha!.” The horrifying giant spider sang in surprise. She was hanging from the ceiling of the common room of Gary’s house, but not Gary’s house.
Just as Ivy was standing on the floor of the familiar home, but not really. Or perhaps she was finally, really standing on the floor, it was complicated inside her friend.
“You must be Thirp, we met briefly while you were… riding Gary?” She gave the enormous monster spider a nervous curtsey. “I’m Ivy… Is anyone else here?”
“Oh, Ducky, we have a problem or three!” The arachnid sang through her harp.
If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.
Gods, as a rule, do not scurry or panic. A tiny boy with luscious blonde curls that defied all laws of physics, totally did not scurry in from the garden. Those ringlets remained perfectly smooth even as their bearer mildly panicked.
“Thirp, things are getting a little…” Marduk stopped in the doorway, stunned, furious and confused. “Sweet essence of life… three…”
#
The little family convened for naptime in a restful mood, mostly. Gary felt energized and almost too amped to sleep, but curled up among his beloved ones anyway. Slow breathing and well honed meditative arts guided his body and mind… he followed his family into sleep.
And right into a pile of trouble. Thirp and a drifting shadow that looked a lot like Ivy were huddled in a corner, talking enchanting over a chalkboard. Meanwhile, a gray and nebulous Tallum and an upset Ducky were glaring at Gary like this was his fault. Shai, Amy and Wilford had their new brother off on a whirlwind tour of the islands, leaving him to face the music alone.
“What? I leave a door open and they walk in… Velvet thinks they’re ok.” Gary pointed a thumb over his shoulder, where NotGary was throwing a hideous squamous tentacled… thing, into the void with superhuman might.
The big man in black had a hard face and hard eyes, until he looked their way and smiled, shooting a thumbs up at the group.
“Gary, leave the thinking to those who are qualified for it. You are perilously close to dissolution.” Marduk said softly and firmly. “Little Desi seems to fit in well enough, but these two are making you bulge at the margins.”
“Leave my margins out of this! You were all fired up for me to drag somebody in here before, now you wanna get territorial? I’ll be fine…” Gary scolded the godling. “Desi’s the only one really here. Ivy and big T are just kinda dreaming… or something.”
Tallum had a lot to say, but he sounded like he was underwater ten miles away. It was entertaining at least, he gestured and shouted, but was misty and incoherent.
“I believe that he can hear us… but who can be certain in this place.” The tiny god shook his head sadly and mockingly, the divine have such powers to wield. He turned to the misty form of the big man and smiled brightly.
“Tallum, child Tallum, I am your deity, Marduk. Please settle down, you’re getting ectoplasm on my sandals. Yes, all is well, off to sleep now, we can talk later.”
When the figure stopped boiling, Ducky made a shooing motion and pursed his lips to blow the shadow away.
When the fog settled Marduk sighed. “Thirp will no doubt adjust the arrangement of the islands to accommodate… as best she can. At this point if you hold together more than a few months, I will be astounded.”
He pointed off to the near edge of the main island, now crumbled all the way to the boundary wall and nibbling at its foundation.
“I wish that damn broken temple would erode away… it’s still hanging around out there. I think Morrigan did something to make it stick around.” The boy complained, ignoring the issue entirely.
“Yes, she has been ‘living’ there in a sense, she has always disturbed me… so primal and full of… urges.” Marduk shuddered. “Even in my aspect as the guide of the dead, I never had the whole ‘death god’ thing. She revels in it and all things… biological.”
“Yeah… she’s smart, scary smart, but not a thinker. I am serious about ditching her… she fits, but poorly… I made that clear, we have an alliance, not a worship Contract… I’ve been thinking about Thirp.”
“Ohh… I was thinking maybe…” The tiny god shuffled his feet awkwardly.
“I love you Ducky, but me as a priest? A priest of Knowledge? Becky is the one for you, Ivy, big T, even Liam would be a better fit for you. Looks like the kids are coming back, we gotta go hang out with Desi.” He hugged the little god and carried him off to play with the kids.
#
Ali shifted even more nervously in his chair. Otho’s office could be very comfortable when he wished it, it all came down to seat placement. Priestess Miriam of Craft was by the fire in a snug wing chair, while Jerome, representative of house Fallon, had a comfortable sofa to share with Tony of Order.
Ali was in a folding chair tucked under the spreading limbs of a ficus in the corner.
“... No, the child will not be fostered, not to anyone. When my young Adventurers come back, we will learn more. Until then I will remain his guardian… perhaps after we are more certain of his origins I may reconsider.” Otho’s shorn silver head snapped to Ali, nearly lost in the foliage.
“You surrendered the child to my care, any regrets you feel are a minor inconvenience… to you.”
“That is why I am here, high priest Otho. My husband has made a tragic error in judgment… one that we would like to rectify.” Miriam’s smile was warm and easy, until she shot a glance at her husband in the shrub.
“You have no part to play in this, the circumstances of the child’s birth are highly unusual, but not unique. Order has made his ruling in this matter and it is final. Ali was this child’s sole mortal parent. He chose, full knowing, to reject the child and surrender him to the orphanage. That is irrevocable.” Othos said very clearly and slowly.
“A young, single parent, in desperate straits might gain the boon of forgetfulness from lady Joy and be reunited. In this case… I will ask the child if he wishes to be placed in your care… after my young protege has returned.”
“Ask the child indeed… nonsense.” Miriam snapped, drawing a sharp look from the old priest. “I will lodge a protest with the council…” Otho’s fierce and unconcealed disgust washed over the woman in a wave.
“I had great admiration and respect for you, lord Ali, for your wisdom, courage and love of life… and as an educator. I wager you have taught that child your most valuable lesson already.” He smiled grimly at the couple.
“Good day, I’m sure you can see yourselves out.”
Even the force of Otho’s will and the gathering sensation of Joy’s gaze couldn’t budge the craft priestess.
“What lesson is that Otho, What lesson did my husband teach that infant?” She sneered in a towering fury.
“That we orphans, can trust only our own.” He snapped at two priests with equal disgust. “Begone now, lest you bring my lady’s gaze fully upon you.”
The gathering force of divine fury weighed down on them as they rose and moved for the exit. “Do not approach or attempt to contact my children, any of them. This is your only warning.” Otho barked in a rough, harsh tone, one unheard in at least a century. “Do not test me.”
He sagged into his chair when they were gone, looking all of his many years. “This is quite a strain on my old bones… We are done here, unless one of you also wants to try and pluck this poor waif from my grasp, in a shameful display of self serving entitlement?” Only silence met his challenging gaze.
#
Naptime ended late, little Desi was still not really talking, letting Amy be his spokeswoman.
“...he doesn’t understand much yet, but he’s not all the way done growing yet. He’s four, but I’m still older.” She said with finality.
“His name… Desidirio? What is that… it sounds…” Becky began, before fumbling to a stop, looking lost.
“Desidiero, it means ‘the one who is wanted’ in spanish…” Gary said softly, as the whole family cuddled the new member on the couch
“Names don’t translate, because they are bound up in magic and identity, they confuse your gift. Grandpa Zygnos had to make up a new name for himself because of that.” He whispered.
“His real name was Dang Tran Duong.” Gary waited while Becky stopped giggling.
“Whae does that make ye laugh, child? Tis simply a name…” Shai demanded.
“You’re using my language gift, love. Relax, don’t think about it and say his name, feel the words you are saying.” Gary said with a deeply amused smile.
Shai concentrated and said the old man’s name aloud.
“Dang Tran Duong. Nay, tis simply a name.”
“Again love, don’t listen, just hear the sounds, say it again.” Gary chuckled.
“Warm Dog Poop.” She said with confusion.
“That’s it. I hear a name, you and the kids all hear a name… normies hear Warm Dog Poop. That’s why he changed it… just an unfortunate linguistic coincidence.” Gary’s warm, untroubled laugh rang out in the island, firming up his crumbling boundaries.
#
“Iiivyyy… Naptime’s over. Quit digging through my brain and wake up… I swear, you come over to my house at long last and all you wanna do is root around in my memories…” Gary shoved the pair away from the bookshelves with a grin.
“Plenty of time for reading another night, time to wake up, Desi is getting hungry. Thirp will help you wake up if you need her to…”
His terrible spider pet clung to the wall behind him, slowly bouncing up and down on way too many knees. “Yes, I can ease you back into the waking world with a touch…” The entity sang, her sweet, rich harp voice made her all the more horrifying.
“Oh, Sorry, we got carried away didn’t we. Thirp, we have a lot of questions for later… but Tallum is afraid of spiders… sorry.” Ivy shuffled her feet and looked embarrassed.
“So, tis now a fear of spiders be a matter of some import, eh?” Shai asked, scritching Thirp on her furry head. “He did find putting spiders in me bed tae be fine fun when ye were younger.” She said gleefully.
“I do apologize, Thirp, fer me own cowardly and unseemly fright; though I were nae so bad as that great bairn…”
“Now now Shai, don’t be cruel. I personally find tentacles particularly distressing. We all have something we fear. Becky is afraid of being abandoned, lord Marduk fears the dark…”
“Thirp! That’s embarrassing!” Marduk squawked.
“Pish tush, we are all family here. Amy and Wilford have well founded fears of being restrained or grasped and Gary… The poor thing only fears being alone again.”
She rattled a discordant run on her harp to break the mood. “Off you go, time to wake up, the gods and spirits cannot do their work while you are here.” She tapped Ivy gently and with a soft mumbled snore, she left.
#
Desi was wide awake when the pair stirred. Awake and tapping at Ivy’s drum happily. “Ok… we’re keeping him.” Ivy mumbled.
They staggered down to the orphanage kitchen to feed the ravenous child. After Tallum helped him to the bathroom to void a strange, clear, semi liquid from himself.
“Weird…” The big smith muttered as they walked. “It was like that goo Fargnahagn barfed up…”
“Did you save it’? Ivy asked, suddenly very excited.
“Gross! No!” He snapped. “Weirdo.”
“Yeah, you love me anyway…” She sang, as she skipped along with Desi, to the simple beat he was tapping on her drum.
#
“So when we get home, there is a new member of the family… I think the sooner we get him soaked in the bath the better off he’ll be…”
“Gods, more of you?” Liam complained cheerily, while bouncing Amy on his shoulders.
“I’ll let the elders know we will depart in the morning.” Khan muttered. “It’s been a strange week so far. No reason we shouldn’t expect more chaos.”
Things got busy at the little trading post on the village green. Gary and Shai settled up accounts with the villagers for their services and trade, in barter. Eggs, butter, milk, cheese and flour were in demand in the marsh village and did a brisk trade.
Householders were keen to have pots and pans repaired or re-tinned, while knives got sharpened and new handles put on while they had a smith and tinker in the town.
Gary and Shai spent a mellow afternoon putting handles on shovels and sharpening saws, once all the coffee pots and kettles in town were ready for service.
The bug repellant charms he usually made only worked within a mile or two of a source of etheric magic that’s no problem when you have one inside you... They drew on the radiations of Gary and similar people to fuel the spell. That would render them useless in a few hours.
He spent a busy evening stamping out enchanted brass buttons that made the wearer smell like and appear to be a batlizard. The tiny charm would only work at very close range and only on something skeeter dumb, but skeeters were the problem...
Anything smarter would have enough sense to see through the feeble aura illusion it generated from background magic. Most humans and other sentients would not even notice the almost imperceptible charm.
Gary had stitched the prototype onto Zorro’s hat out in the swamp, it was just a friendly gesture… When he got back in town with the butchery crew and a barge load of croc meat and hide, the word spread fast.
He carved the enchantment into a handful of brass stars, moons and suns. They were just left overs from an instrument project, mostly to use as much of his waste material as possible. Brass sheet was not cheap or easy to make.
He ran out of gas before long and handed over a dozen of the tiny charms to Becky’s trainees.
“These are on us kids, to help you get started working in the collecting business.” He winked at the grizzled village leader. “I think a friend of mine might be selling these on the trade boat circuit before long…”
He grinned in a way that made elder Hamblin feel a pinch in his purse. “I’ll have Esperanza cut your village in with a ten percent discount on future purchases this year. All you gotta do is tell your neighbors about them.”
“You know Esperanza, of the trade boats? With the dolphin?” His face sank when he realized who he would be bargaining against.
“Gary, lady Healer is loath to allow matters that affect public health to fall under the mercy of base commerce…” Tawny warned. “I can issue price controls and sanctions to any who would be… overly predatory.”
“Pfft. I’ll charge what I want, rich people gotta pay full price.” Gary said happily. He eyed the humble village in the rising fog with a satisfied smile. “Yeah, You’ll pay.”
He patted his basket of seeds, roots, shoots, croc teeth and exotic mushrooms with glee.
“Becky and Liam are giving your kids instructions on how to harvest some things. If they’re diligent, you guys are gonna be just fine.” He stretched and smiled again, looking sleepy.
“Esperanza will definitely be by and she should be looking for all the stuff my brother and sister are showing them how to find. Especially skeeter venom.”
“Skeeter venom? Why ever for?” Tawny demanded, while Hamblin just looked lost.
“Ever wonder how those monsters can jab you and get away unsmooshed? They secrete a potent and highly magical anesthetic venom, shit’s crazy strong. Watch.”
He drew a tiny straw from his pocket and puffed a breath through it.
Across the room, Becky and Liam were instructing a group of fresh Knowledge and Healer cultists on how to extract venom from the giant vermin.
Without warning, Liam simply fell off of the stool he had been perched on. He stood, looking confused and swatting at his right buttcheek.
“Blowgun with a tiny needle, Squirrel showed me how to make them. This just makes the area completely numb for a few seconds.”
He grinned at Tawny. “Local anesthetic. Fast acting, no side effects, the best part, you gotta kill the skeeter to get it… yeah, that’s nice…”
“You suck Gary.” Liam called when the pins and needles set in.
“You’ll be fine in a few minutes.” He grinned at Tawny. “See? I’m the good guy.” He passed Tawny a small vial of murky gray-green liquid.
“You get the formula and instructions free, they get to trade in the miserable little turds. Everybody wins but the skeeters.”
“Sometimes I hate you Gary. How do you do that?” She demanded with a smile. “Duskmoons, that monstrous cannabis, chocolate, now this.”
“The weed was all Liam, I just planted it, he went nuts. My crazy gift shows me where the good bits are when I touch things.” He shrugged. “The rest is just figuring out how to get it. That’s what happens when you let a strange god control who learns how to read.”
“What do you mean boy?” Khan asked. “What does reading have to do with aught? Learning the art was the worst part of officer’s training.”
“Really? You don’t see? We’re gonna work on that.” Gary said cryptically. “But anyway, now Khan and Luna get to torture me for an hour, then bedtime. Fun fun fun.”
“No, off to bed, skip tonight. Tomorrow on the road perhaps.” Luna had an ominous look in her eye.
Gary and Shai slipped away to the private bath during the bustle, leaving Becky and Dannyl in charge of the last minute trading. No one noticed when the door vanished entirely…
#
“Desi!” Ivy called into the garden. “Plumeria, did you see a little…” She knocked gently on the little house by the fruit orchard and looked inside. There he was, snug and safe on the couch beside the tiny dryad, having cocoa by the magic fireplace.
They looked up from their intense conversation when she stuck her bright blue eyes around the door frame.
“Ivy, This young scamp strolled over a few minutes ago, Why was I not informed of this marvelous fellow?”
“He only just arrived… were you talking to him?” She asked softly, as relief flooded her face.
“Oh, he is quite chatty, but he is still not entirely in this world. Thus, he speaks only a language from the place he came from. That will be resolved one way or another when he finishes entering the world.”
She turned to the tiny boy and smiled, before rattling off a sweet and musical run of sounds that made no sense at all. He nodded and bolted over to hug Ivy with a giggle.
“He understands everything we say, but gets confused when he tries to speak, be patient with him please.”
The mage scooped up her little brother and laughed. “Thanks, I gotta go let Tallum know we found him, he’s looking in the dormitory.” She skipped away hand in hand with the boy.
“No running off. You gotta stay with us. The nice tree lady is our neighbor, you can trust her.”
#