Ch: 181 Feels Like The First Time

Gary and Shai were sipping from their mugs and chatting with the two girls, over early morning coffee.

“Angie and I figured out how to control whether we wind up in your dream world, or whatever it is. You guys were… we tried to give you some private time…” Becky said, diplomatically, while Gary blushed and sputtered.

“Gary do hae many cultural taboos around sex an such… dinnae mind him.” Shai said with a smile and wink, swatting him on the rump for good measure. “Tomorrow be the wedding of lady Jaspreet an duke Abed. Tis a grand public festival, catered by Joy an the orphanage together, by arrangement wi duke Belen. We hae naught but to attend and take our ease...” Shai smiled at the two girls and winked. Which gary missed entirely while trying to get the last few drops of precious java out of his mug.

Becky smiled at the pair, like a bond villain with a shiny new death ray. “I’m going to be co-officiating, with Otho and Naiomi, with a benediction from Jennah, as high priestess of Thirp’s cult.” She gloated and preened insufferably. “It’s going to be super busy for me today and tomorrow. I was going to ask Gunnar to do my hair for tomorrow… but I’ll have my hood up the whole time.”

Angie shot her new sister a look of frank disapproval. “Becky, You Go, Girl!” She spoke as though passing down some sacred wisdom from the gods.

“You’re right! I will see Gunnar… Gary! I need you to give my robes a good going over!” She folded her arms across her bodice and smiled. “The high priestess has spoken.”

“Awww man…” He moaned, as he sulked down to the workshop with the laundry.

#

“Gods I hate laundry duty…” Talisker complained, while digging yet another egg sack out of his arming coat. “It’s almost worth asking the quartermaster for a replacement…”

“Uh huh, he’ll draw the worst one he can find out of stores… Hamill tried that. Jervuk docked him a week’s pay and issued the scratchiest, roughest garment I ever saw.” Jones muttered. “I’d rather pay the kids to do the job.”

“Pay the kids?” Talisker asked.

“Gods, do you stuff your ears with wax? Ask any kid in blue socks… they are running some secret tailoring workshop. Keep it under your hat, it’s just for members.” He said softly.

“I’m broke til payday or I’d have hired them myself. It’s only two copper bits for the nit picking and mending.”

Jones looked up when two copper bits landed on his lap. Talisker was gone, already halfway down the parade ground, looking for any kid in blue socks, clutching his ragged, freshly washed under armor padding.

#

Maria and her small crew of apprentices had a lot of work to do. Twenty warriors, six grooms and all their kit needed cleaning, picking and mending, once the alchemist’s apprentice finished fumigating the huge pile in a tent outside town. Most of the warriors had found their secret operation in the empty upper floors of the dormitory. A short line of ‘sewing machines’ were the answer to so many fondly held dreams. A tidy moneymaker too, as long as the tailors’ guild kept their noses out of the Adventure compound and the orphans kept their business more or less on campus.

That was why Colette was in charge of operational security.

Legion stipends didn’t stretch to having their gear and uniforms mended by guild trained tailors, even apprentices, particularly when the skills of an armorer were needed.

The mad new boy’s strange inventions punched their thread bearing needles through canvas and leather with ease, saving many sore fingers. The training and tutelage of old Hannah paid dividends, making them ideal for the kind of work needed by legionnaires and War cultists in general.

A small cadre of young people, boys and girls were tapping in rivets, darning holes in padded clothing or stitching leather reinforcements in battered gear all around the empty dormitory room. Hanna patrolled like a marshal on a parade ground, eyeing their work critically and offering corrections with a firm, gentle hand.

Old Mikkel was sitting in their little break area sipping tea and looking haggard.

“The mad boy said he’d make me a new leg… how do I even answer that?” He asked softly, when Hannah joined him.

“What?” She demanded, expecting more foolishness. “If he wants to make you a pegleg flute or something…” She muttered. “Something to make you whistle when you walk? I can do that… I’ll make broccoli and bean soup tonight.”

“No love. A magic leg, that works like the real thing.” He muttered. “That new girl that Becky brought around, I guess she has one he made…”

“Silly old fool, that girl had two legs.” Hannah grumbled.

“Yes, she does… now.” Mikkel whispered.

Hannah stared at him for a long minute, watching closely for any sign of jackassery. “You say, yes.” She answered finally.

“You gave five years to the duchy, five more and a foot to War and then, thirty more to the guild. Adventuring on one leg, no less…” She fumed at him.

“When some mad boy wizard offers you a magic leg… You! Say! Yes!” She punctuated the last three words, by whacking him with a handy pillow.

“Yes dear.” He mumbled, when she finished buffeting him with a pillow.

#

Gary came up from the workshop, with Becky’s freshly cleaned and updated robes and found Dannyl standing in front of the taproom door. “Hey… bro. What gives?” He asked, when the young warrior stopped him at the door.

“Lady Jaspreet’s ladies are having a ladies only party, you don’t wanna go in there, they’d tear you apart.” He said firmly.

Gary chuckled and nodded. “Ok, I’ll just pop in and slip away, they’ll never notice me…”

“This room is reserved for a private function, sorry sir.” Dannyl droned, sounding bored.

“Dude, it’s my house… In a lot of ways. Quit kidding around.” He murmured tiredly. “I gotta give Becky her robes back.” He tried to slip past, but was intercepted by the quick little fellow.

“Security!” Dannyl called, bringing three tiny keystone cops scrambling over.

“Girls only, Gary! I’m not even ‘llowed in!” Amy scolded him, waggling her finger and everything. Rio and Wilf stood right behind her, nodding through the whole thing.

“Yes, dear.” He murmured dejectedly.

#

The ladies of the wedding party, a number of additional ladies and notables of the town and from the visiting nobility, were all in the taproom, with their various maids and attendants. It was an intimate scene, with scantily clad women modeling the most extraordinary ‘garments’.

Acres of bare skin, along with more legs and breasts than at a midsummer chicken fry, were floating around the room.

Lace, satin, velvet and silk draped forms of every shape, form and shade that Jennah could gather from her wide list of acquaintances.

The offer of a favor for the favor of modeling, while gaining a sneak peek at this rumored new thing for themselves induced a number of damsels to strut their stuff. As her models strutted through the room, they roamed from table to table, chatting with the guests and letting them examine the remarkable stitchcraft up close.

Jennah spoke earnestly, from the low stage by the bar, addressing the gathered women.

“These designs are not solely my work, but have been brought to us from a far off land, with the divine blessing of She Who Spins In The Void. These sweet snares, these delicate traps are her gift to humanity. She hopes that we will use them wisely… I present to you, Aranea’s Secret, the sleepwear collection!”

“I don’t think most of these are meant for sleeping…” Someone giggled nervously, from the back row.

“I don’t know about that…” Tawny purred softly. “I find that I sleep rather well after… well, after.” That set off more giggles of a far less nervous kind.

Shai swept through the room wearing a green silk kimono that was startlingly short, bearing tea and those tiny glazed cakes that had been appearing lately. Platters of those adorable, tiny ‘petis fours’ and pots of tea appeared wherever she walked, smiling warmly and greeting her many many guests. Her bluff elegance, confident, earthy manner and frank smile broke the last of the room’s reserve, setting off a giggling flurry of chatter.

“Oh, I could never… what if my husband saw?” Simone whispered, scandalized by the lace teddy Tawny was modeling.

“That’s the whole point, dear.” Amaranth Guilien muttered with a salty grin. “You can keep your flannel nightgowns…”

#

“I’m sure they’re just sitting around drinking tea and talking about sewing…” Gary said, with a fevered look in his eye. “It’s probably super boring…” No one believed him, at least no one over five years old.

The boys were all lounging around the sales floor, jamming to distract themselves. At least they tried to distract themselves; from what was probably the first naughty underwear show in living memory, happening just a few feet away.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

Poor Gary had a twitch in his right eye and was looking very nervous. He sank down into a seat across from Liam and sighed so hard it was almost a sob.

“Shai know’s I can’t ‘see’ what’s going on in there… but the vibe and emotions kinda percolate through my…” He fell silent, with a haunted look in his eyes. “I think I’m gonna die of blueballs.”

“You can’t die of whatever that is, Gary… I assume it has to do with…” He glared at his big friend for a moment, until the musician shifted awkwardly. He winced, when ‘something’ thunked the underside of the table.

“That was my knee.” He lied.

#

The party was winding down, measurements had been taken, orders recorded; most importantly, the ladies maids were whispering and giggling among themselves when they thought they were unobserved.

Those women were the real drivers of Jennah’s schemes. Convincing a noble lady to don salacious attire in the privacy of her chambers was one thing…

Getting the women of the commons, not just in Wheatford but in their hometowns as well, thinking about and most critically, talking about her designs was the ultimate goal. That was where she would make real inroads, to expand her business and cult.

She smiled out on the swirling sea of bright colors and gauzy textures.

“Remember ladies, confidence is the sexiest thing you can wear. If our sweet nothings help you feel a little more desirable, your menfolk will collapse like…’’ She paused, listening.

“What is that sound? Music?” Jennah asked, as a soft chiming and melodic wail rose from beyond the closed garden doors.

One of the ladies’ maids peeked out the window and giggled hysterically. “There’s a bunch of boys, playing music on the lawn!” She tittered gaily. “The way they’re dressed though! Or, not dressed! I’ve never seen shorts so small!”

That started a mad rush for the windows… and more giggling. With a dramatic sigh of false exasperation, Shai checked to make sure everyone was dressed and flung open the doors, onto pretty much what she expected.

Hey little girl, is your daddy home?

Did he go and leave you all alone?

Mhmm?

I got a bad desire,

Oh-oh-oh, I'm on fire!

Music flooded through the doorway, sweeping over the already excited crowd, as Gary’s gifts carried them away.

Tell me now, baby, is he good to you?

And can he do-to-you-the things that I do?

Oh no!

I can take you higher!

Oh-oh-oh, I'm on fire!

All the boys, even Liam and Khan, were lined up on the lawn, playing along with whatever they could manage, as Gary’s heartfelt and hungry voice lifted into the sky.

Clad in shortyshorts and nothing else, five young men, including the new master of Wheatford’s Adventure guild, boldly and hornily serenaded their lovers together.

The sight made the mass of women giggle even more, though a number of long appreciative gazes and shy smiles appeared in the swarm of ladies…

They wrapped up ‘I’m On Fire’, as Shai stomped forward, grabbed Gary by the ear and gently dragged him off toward the stairs.

“You guys are on your own now… I caught mine.” He cried out happily, as she frogmarched him away.

#

“God’s boy…” Shai gasped as she collapsed back on the pillows. “What got intae thee?”

“I dunno…” He wheezed, as he crawled back up on the bed, from where she’d kicked him in the midst of a spasming, earth shattering orgasm. “...but it’s desperate to get into you.” His mad, crooked grin was back, while other things had yet to go away.

“Oh no lad, dinnae charge at me wi that thing again! I must needs be able tae walk come morning!”

She giggled as he slipped in beside her and snuggled close, nudging her with a friendly friend who was still very friendly indeed. With a sigh and an indulgent smile for her boy, she came to grips with the beast, settling matters hand to…

Her boy drifted off to sleep in her arms, with a stupid smile plastered on his face. Shai took a moment to appreciate anew, that the bedding could be vanished away and fresh things created with a trifling effort, no matter how besmirched they might be. She nestled herself in on his chest and joined him in sleep.

#

Gary and Shai landed in bed, flushed and energized by… and found themselves ‘interrupting’ Marduk and Eponna, materializing directly between the two deities.

“I gotta say, this is the most socially awkward I’ve ever felt…” Gary said firmly, while extracting himself from Eponna’s mane.

“Ducky, I know you’re a deity older than human civilization, but you look like you’re twelve. That’s kinda hurting my brain, so could you not engage in ‘interfaith outreach’, in our bed?”

“Really, this is all your fault Gary. My genitals are simply a human affectation, you can’t imagine a male without these, and you see me as male.” He huffed at the musician.

“I was deeply startled when it stirred and ‘chubbed up’ as you say. Whatever potent force affected you, must have spilled over into me…”

“And I’m the reason you wound up trying out the mortal mambo in my bed?” Gary asked heatedly.

“I’m the god of knowledge… are you surprised I was curious? That makes it doubly your fault!” Marduk fumed in embarrassed and frustrated anger.

Eponna and Shai just sat on the edge of the bed, smiled and silently watched the boys argue.

“I can’t believe I’m arguing with a tiny, naked, child god about boners…” Gary sighed as he sank to the bed beside Shai and Eponna.

“Dude, you can create a temple or whatever for yourself, just like Brigid, Thirp and Morrie… then you guys can go nuts.” He gathered Shai by the hand and stood up.

“Can you see how upsetting it could be, opening my eyes to see the god of knowledge, hanging brain in my face? I dig your vibe, but boundaries… ok?”

Gary and Shai left the two divine beings alone to collect themselves and went downstairs. Thirp had the little ones out in the garden practicing their instruments, playing along with a band of spirits from every era.

He nearly gasped with relief when he saw the kids were riveted by the strange musicians, rather than wondering what the other two gods were up to.

“I think auntie Jennah is a bad influence…” Gary whispered to Shai.

“Nay, I like how her arts do influence thee… Though I’ll be a might sore, come morning.” She purred in his ear.

#

Becky and Dannyl set out early, to attend to her clerical duties and make final arrangements for the ceremony. It would be closed to the public, with only one guard accompanying each noble or group.

Dannyl would be Becky’s companion all day, which meant that while she was doing cleric stuff, he was hanging out with the other guards. Dannyl had expected trusted veterans or warriors nearing retirement to draw lifeguard duty at a noble wedding, instead it was mostly young social climbers, standing in as guards, to schmooze and show themselves to the upper crust. A few were obviously their primary’s lover or secret spouse. As an actual Adventurer and orphan, they had no interest in him, leaving him at loose ends for much of the day.

When they broke for lunch, Becky was apologetic. “I didn’t know you’d have your thumb up all day, brother.”

“I brought a book or three… do what you need to do. I can’t train or do anything active yet, anyway.” He settled into a routine of following her around and cracking his book whenever things got too dull… which was pretty much all the time.

Becky filled out paperwork, negotiated for more time to speak and less time waiting around, she got more time, and more waiting around, as War and Order complained about something…

‘blahh, blahh, blahh… not a real cult…’ Some robed mook griped, while the major players remained quiet. Becky silenced the bitching with a simple question.

“Would you prefer for the cult of Secret to officiate the ceremony?” It felt nice, using Gary as a hammer to break the stodgy old mens’ resistance.

After that, the ceremony was anticlimactic. The reception went smoothly, catered by the orphans of Wheatford and lavishly funded by Otho.

The banquet tables groaned under a mass of edible fancies, from whole roast pigs to tiny pigeons glazed with sweet plum sauce. Loaves, rolls, trenchers and biscuits were well represented, it was Wheatford after all, though salads and grilled vegetable skewers brought a lot to the party, too.

It was the dessert tables that were the talk of the evening.

“I think priest Harlan is going to injure himself…” Tawny muttered, as the giant devoured a dewapple pie, with a look on his face that was almost ecstatic.

#

“Becky and Dannyl are missing a sweet party!” Gary shouted over the band. They were having a late second dinner in the garden, since the kids were going to be up til the party stopped. Even Shai was danced out for the moment, she sprawled on a garden bench with a soft towel wrapped around her bare, sweaty shoulders.

“Go dance and play. I’ll be staying close to home, the loud noises are tough on sensitive ears.” Nara murmured as she herded the smiling, exhausted kids inside.

“I’ll be dragging ye through a few more dances ere the night ends, boy.” She gasped, winded for a brief moment.

The music was wild and celebratory, shaking the stones of the town until the sun went fully down… and a fair piece longer, despite local ordinances.

Most of the instruments in play were his crafts, he could feel them tugging gently at his gifts. There were a truly impressive number of homemade or makeshift noisemakers going off too, but most of the actual instruments were his.

Unconsciously, those creeping tendrils of whatever he was exuding, were carrying his Entrainment gift, keeping the band tight across the commons. It worked by locking in those key players and tightening them up to create overlapping pools of perfect tempo.

Slowly, without exerting any control or magic, with just a gentle flex of his will, he pulled them just a little closer into the groove. It was like he could feel the whole commons breathing and the music was its beating heart. His area of influence was still the house and yard, but the diffuse sense of what was happening around his home carried all the way to the edge of the temple ward.

The musicians, dancers and party people swirling around his home felt comfy and warm, familiar presences that he felt pass every day. He could pick out a few, the most familiar people. Sachi the baker, dancing with Jack, the journeyman carpenter, Mikkel and Hannah, over by the cocoa stall, Becky and Dannyl being stalked by a stranger, by the market gate…

#

The throng of partygoers filled the streets, long after eighth bell. Long after the bride and groom had been quietly spirited to that marvelous inn outside town, for a peaceful wedding night, away from the crowded palace.

Becky grinned at the prospect of the lofty Abed Mubarak discovering that his bed at home was far inferior to Gary’s ‘peasant linens’. He was absolutely the kind of guy who had to be certain that what he had was the best that could be had. The master suite was going to break him.

The crowd thinned out in the residential districts, as most of the late night activities migrated to the gate market and the more permissive standards there. Soon they were walking alone in the dark streets, lost in their own thoughts.

She was so caught up in her head, she almost didn’t notice the creeping figure, lurking in the alley nearby. Dannyl noticed when her baton slid into view, appearing silently from her sleeve. He popped the case on his whip, regretting for the first time, not carrying the real thing.

Chain Of Fools: Enchanted whip, enchanted tool, spiritual, etheric enchantment. Rank, iron plus. Quality, rare. Elemental affinities, none.

Effect:Targets may suffer afflictions and conditions, depending on circumstances: Bruised, demoralized, pain averse, stunned, frightened, lamed, concussed, constricted. Base chance per affliction or condition, ten percent, scaled against: Rank, Will, Agility, Animus, Might and Resilience.

Effect: unpredictable strikes, weapon is unconventional and flexible, defense penalties apply in most cases.

“Step out into the light, we have no time for skulking games.” Dannyl called into the darkened alley mouth.

“Peace, little brother and sister…” A man’s voice spoke from the darkness, he had a slight hilltribe accent, but not one they recognized from any of the local clans.

“I am commanded to spy on you, and must obey… in so far as honor allows.”

“Well I hope you were as bored as we were today… now get lost, we’re going home and aren’t interested in your bullshit.” Dannyl barked, thrashing his whip in pain and agitation. His hip was reminding him that it was still healing, by sending waves of churning weakness and dropsy through his insides.

“Relax, Dannyl… I hear songbirds coming and a bicycle bell.” Becky said with a smile.

A few seconds later, a small flock of nightjars came winging in over the rooftops, settling on the eaves overlooking the two kids and the talking shadow. The sweet song they whistled carried a recognizable melody among their native trills and warbles, ‘Hold on, I’m Coming’, By Sam and Dave…

“This is going to be interesting…” Dannyl whispered, as a strange figure rolled up the smooth streets at a terrifying speed. He was absolutely silent on his odd machine, even though he sped faster than a charging horse, save for the whirring, chiming song coming from the strange weapon he held couched like a lance and the relentless chiming of his thumb driven bike bell…

“Ohh, shit! You better run dude! That’s his ‘someone’s dying’ face.” Dannyl snapped at the invisible stalker.

Only silence answered him from the shadows, the being seeming to have fled.

Gary kept cranking, right at them, his baton lowered and singing along with his feathered friends, raising their music higher. He shrugged his whole body, somehow and his bike vanished in a cloud of murk…

Gary kept moving, hurtling through the air with his weapon leading, right into the shadows in the alley. With a metallic crash and a horrible, shrill squeal, a hooded figure stumbled out of the shadow.

The armored boy came rolling out after, clattering in his chitin, wood and silk carapace. He still held his baton, pressing it forward like a spear, into the crossed scimitars of his foe. Sparks and strange lights blazed where their weapons met, as the two men struggled for advantage or an opening.

The stranger leapt back, creating a good four yards between the two men. “I come not to fight…” The man said, while dodging a flurry of quick jabs and strikes.

The lobster said nothing, he just pressed the attack relentlessly, pushing the cloaked figure away from the two kids, with sheer dogged fury.

Again and again the man parried with his increasingly battered swords; until, with a soft ‘clink’ and a loud, chiming ring, one blade snapped off at the hilt, falling to the pavers. His remaining weapon was badly warped and the edge was nearly serrated from the constant assault. He brandished the sad thing bravely and prepared to receive another mad assault.

“Gary, calm down… Gary! Stop! I’ll Tell Shai!” Becky’s shout finally broke through, slowing his mindless fury. The terrible song of rage slowly quieted, as the man withdrew back to the kids, still warily eying his ragged, bleeding foe.

“Good boy. Settle down while the grownups talk…” She turned back to the shadowed figure, finding no one there.

#