Ch: 163 Don't Say Hi, Like A Spider To A Fly
“Angie!” The duchess exclaimed at the young, pretty girl, dressed in Becky’s clothes, dancing between Gary and Shai. The poor thing moved like she just figured out what her right leg was for. That was pretty understandable, since when they had last seen her, she had only the left.
Angie stumbled and was arrested in her fall by Shai’s big, quick hand, gripping her shoulder and hauling the child upright. Angie tried to snap to attention and flushed bright red, when the confused girl remembered that she was out of uniform.
“Forgiveness, please my duchess…” The child stammered, fussing with her wildfire colored, forest ablaze bodice, skirts and blouse.
“I’m absolutely shocked, Adventurer Angie… red is really your color.” Duchess Sheng turned her gaze on Tawny and gave a mild sniff of displeasure… The equivalent of a man drawing a dagger, from the controlled and careful duchess.
After a short pause to collect herself, the duchess spoke, very carefully. “Lady Trelawny Helene Belen, I told you that if you had games to play, you may play them with me, not my children… If you had a healer who could have assisted me, why did you not say so?”
“Let us take this into a room, duchess Sheng… please. These matters are for private discussion.” Tawny implored, while Gary and Shai tried to get their act together, their giddy smiles fleeing under the ducal gaze.
Sleepy children woke in the arms of the noblewomen and started wiggling to the tune coming from the pianoforte. Amy and the boys hit the floor and rushed over to the musician in the corner with gleeful cries. “Fats! Play ‘Ain’t Misbehavin’, pleeeeease!” Amy called as she climbed up onto the bench with the smiling, rotund man.
“Master Waller will ye please entertain these guests fer a time?” Shai asked the smiling man at the keys. He winked and wiggled his mustache happily, as the crafters, ladies and the small girl vanished down into the workshop
#
“Only if Angie says it’s ok… I won’t reveal anything to anyone without her permission, not even you, Tawny.” Gary said firmly, from his seat beside Shai.
“Gary!” Tawny barked, while he stared back unmoved.
“Nope. No dice, don’t ask Shai, she won’t help. Becky should be here, but she’s got the little ones and they aren’t ready for this.”
“Gary, Her grace, duchess Sheng can hear anything about me she wishes.” Angie said firmly, seated beside Shai on the sofa.
“Nope. Not happening. We talk in private for a while, then you decide, after you have time to think it over.” Gary’s voice was firm, very, very firm.
“So be it. While you talk, Tawny can show me the surgery where this miracle was performed.” Grace said, just as firmly.
“Whatever confluence of magic and healing has occurred here, it is of interest to me… why are you all looking at me like that?”
The usually unflappable duchess blushed as the small group all stopped and studied her face. Only the boy stood there smiling like the cat that got the cream.
“Haunted plum burlwood… Gets ‘em every time.” He sighed happily. “Too bad that was the last of it, couldn’t have gone to a better cause.” He murmured sleepily.
“Och! Ye foolish an naughty boy, ye dinnae… I’m sorry Angie, that leg, t'will be a…” She stopped and scratched her head in puzzlement. “Wait, an she did meet Thirp… an tis…”
Shai scooped the girl up, grabbed Gary by the ear and dragged them over to the far side of the workshop, by the still warm forge. They stood together and spoke for a while, with much pointing and waving of arms. Angie’s voice rose a number of times during the discussion.
“...I’m WHAT?”
“...with a WHAT?”
“...it WHAT?”
“…in my WHERE?”
“Oh, dear…” Tawny said mildly. “While my friends are turning Angie’s world on its head, let me explain what I can… There was no magical surgery, no mystic regeneration to regrow her lost limb, such an act remains impossible.” Her firm and level gaze allowed no wriggle room.
“Miracles however, come in many guises. That strange boy made a wooden leg with his two hands and brought it to life with his magic.” She said earnestly. “Beyond that I can say no more.”
When Tawny looked over, Gary was down on one knee, hugging the tiny girl with a goofy grin on his face. Shai stood over them beaming with happiness and giggling.
The boy was saying: “I can’t wait till you meet the rest of the family tonight… Can you sleep over?”
Gary spotted them watching and the group strode over, still smiling widely.
“Angie says you’re cool… That’s good enough for me.” He waited for them to get seated and sank down beside Shai, looking exhausted.
“I’m the one who makes the magical items that have been cropping up. Aroma Bands™, the bug repellent charms, all that stuff.” He sighed.
“I made her a leg, based on her own aura and Animus and stuffed it full of my own special brand of enchantment.” With a huge yawn he snuggled into Shai’s shoulder. “We said we wouldn’t make magical arms… legs are another matter…”
He giggled softly at his own stupid joke and began to snore, as a slip of parchment fell from his hand.
Angie’s Getaway Stick, Enchanted prosthetic limb. Spiritual and etheric enchantments. Rarity, Unique. Rank, scales with the bonded owner.
When worn by the bonded owner, this leg will distribute mana, stamina, qi, aura and Animus precisely as a natural leg would. This prosthetic will bond to the owner’s Animus, allowing full control and sensation.
Additional effects: Boogie Nights, when under the influence of music, this item gains a slow repair over time effect.
Additional effects: Boogie Nights, when worn while dancing, this item gains a slow repair over time effect. The wearer gains: replenish stamina, mana and health over time.
Additional effects: Occult, Contract Angie’s Animus to develop this effect.
Special effect: Dancing Queen, this leg is constructed from haunted plum burlwood, harvested from a rampaging elder dryad. Charisma and attraction bonuses apply, when revealed to compatible entities. This effect is enhanced while dancing.
#
Gary woke, soaking in the grotto alone. He stumbled to the door and grabbed a robe, too tired to conjure one around himself… the sun was still up and the whole crowd was in the taproom together.
Unready to face more people, he went out into the garden, dropped his robe and collapsed on the lawn to soak up the last few minutes of sunshine.
“Of all my friends, I’ve seen your backside the most, Gary.” Julius remarked, from the garden bench he had been sitting on all along. “Shai said you had exhausted yourself on some mighty working…”
“Mmm, hey Jules… I’m not at my best right now… How are things down in the marsh?” He mumbled softly into the grass.
“A stalemate, as of four days ago, that was my last report. I expect a messenger soon.” He answered softly. “I had no idea this threat was festering out there. Have you learnt anything more?”
“Nope, but I sent some help to the Fist and your greenies a few days ago… Leo said he was sending the Sparrowhawks to you as well… but I suppose you know that…” He trailed off, snoring softly in the late afternoon sun.
#
“Are you really here to complain that lady Jaspreet’s wedding party was given a tour before you? I only ask, because it sounds like where this is going…” Leopold asked sourly.
Dukes Belen, Holloman and Mubarak were seated in the palace garden, enjoying a smoke and the sunset. They had, by silent, mutual agreement, eschewed shop talk for the evening.
“We are.” Baron Hreth said crisply, with baron Timarch and a few others in a loose gaggle. “I could understand if it was just the wedding party and the lady Jaspreet, but Duchess Sheng was included as well, this is clear favoritism!” Flavius spoke a bit more aggressively than most would consider wise, but he was frustrated.
At the periphery, a number of lesser earls and barons were standing near enough to grasp onto a victory, if feebly, or flee a failure.
“Flavius, I have no control over the orphanage these days… complain to priest Otho, or master Khan.” Leo spoke in a firm and neutral tone but his glare was noticeable.
“I can say that the duchess and Otho of Joy have long been friends and share similar views on how my indentured brothers and sisters should be treated… views that I share.” He ended his address to Hreth with a very cold stare.
“Timarch…” He said, even more firmly, turning his icy gaze to his vassal’s vassal and brother. “If you wish to transfer warriors between yourselves, so be it… But I will not have secretive indenture auctions in my domain. Certainly not during a wedding.” He snapped.
“Forgive me my lord, that was a negotiation tactic… The Toy Collector was playing hard to get, I only threatened to arrange an auction to get her to move…”
He faltered to a stop, as Belen’s brow clouded and the other two dukes started looking like they wanted to be very far away indeed.
This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
“Duchess Sheng is a peer of the realm and my honored guest. She also has not required rescue in her own lands, by my forces…” He growled. “I enjoy a week by the seashore as much as anyone…”
He turned from the pale and wilted baron, to address the crowd of lesser houses. “This is a time of celebration, handle such transactions discreetly and with dignity, I will not address this again.” His gaze sharpened on the face of Lester Nismuth, head of the local Oddsman’s guild.
“My domain remains closed to the wagering guilds, all of the wagering guilds… and my pipe has burnt out…”
With a wry grin he disregarded the unpleasantness and turned to his son, lingering nearby. “Rolf, run fetch Julius and some more of that leaf from my daughter’s friends.”
“Yes father.” Rolf replied with a grin, as he dashed off.
#
In the taproom behind the shop, the ladies and Julius were gathered on comfy sofas, sipping tea while Tawny, Becky and the mad boy fielded questions. Poor Gary still looked too tired to function, but gamely kept on.
“…Yup, from another world… I landed just before the feast of Healer, out in the hills. There are others like me, struggling to find a place in this world, they are mine, all of them.” He turned a bit feral at the end, wild eyed and wobbling in his seat.
“That’s enough for Gary, take him up to bed please Shai, he’s had a trying day. Becky and I will carry on for a little longer, though bedtime is approaching for us.” Tawny announced, with a gentle smile for her sleepy friend.
“He only just ranked up and has over extended himself, again.”
Becky passed around with the tea pot, refilling cups while the red haired giantess manhandled her equally tall and even more massive mate out of the room.
“He has an interesting mind, behind the madness.” Duchess Sheng muttered into her tea, only loud enough for Julius to hear.
“You have no idea. Since he visited my realm, wondrous things have begun appearing with regularity, while old mysteries have dissolved in the light.” Julius answered happily.
“If you can get them to visit, I recommend it. Even if just for a few days…”
“Speaking of visits, I’m afraid Angie will need to stay here for a night or two…” Tawny said awkwardly. “For reasons…”
Becky patted the golden girl fondly. “It’s so cute when you try to dance around the truth…” She turned to duchess Sheng, looking her right in the eyes. “Tawny was trying to tell a half truth, instead, I’m going to tell you a lie… and ask you to accept it as such…” She smiled warmly at the shocked duchess.
“We will need to keep Angie here for a few days, our craftsman needs to monitor her adjustment to her new prosthetic.”
“I see, that sounds reasonable. I assume that is a lie?” Sheng asked mildly, raising one eyebrow.
“Indeed, a complete fabrication.” She answered with a smile. “I ask that you accept this lie at face value.”
“Very well. Angie, you will remain in the care of Lady Trelawny until she releases you.” Grace said happily. “I have Orlando to get settled in any case, I purchased him from that rancid little…” She coughed and sipped her tea. “Excuse me… something in my throat…”
“While that is good news…” Becky said very carefully and evenly. “Please be extremely… delicate when discussing such matters in this house, your grace. Indenture and the sale of people is taboo where Gary comes from, the very concept offends him on a basic level.”
“How… Odd.” She murmured.
Becky stood up and smoothed her skirts, holding a hand out for Angie. Becky knew how cute and precocious she seemed, she wielded that as deftly as her rapier, prodding her elders into dancing to her tune.
“On that note, let’s get the duchess a room for the night. I believe the master suite will be empty. You are in for a treat, your grace. First, off to the private baths, the duchess hasn’t seen them yet.”
That elicited excited gasps of delight from the others, settling the matter. “Angie, you will be bunking with me and the kids, fair warning we’re snugglers...”
Ange was struck anew by the baths, with the thick moss and floating clouds of steam. Her duchess’ reaction of stark wonder and pure delight set her to smiling as well.
Becky helped her to undress and remove the prosthetic, in a bamboo screened alcove that seemed designed for the purpose. She helped her new sister into the pool, the girl’s embarrassment and injury were hidden by a dense patch of fog that happened to drift by, obscuring both girls for a few moments. Becky took her off alone in the bath, near the waterfall for a whispered conversation.
“..and she wants to Contract me? As well as this Marduk? I’ve been reading about him in Belen’s reports, I can’t say I wasn’t intrigued… but I’m an orphan, you numpty, I can’t Contract until my indenture.” The slim, pale girl grumbled.
Becky scooted closer to her, speaking softly in the privacy of the thick steam. “Things are going to be moving fast, little sister. Hold on tight and keep on dancing, cause you’re in for a wild ride.” Her smile was reassuring and honest.
“We’ll go over those details tonight when you are meeting the others.”
#
Gary and Shai landed in the other house, where the two deities were waiting with some excitement.
“Fascinating, she slipped into your dreamworld unattended and without even soaking in your silly bath…” Marduk said with a grin.
“You two are a mess right now. I suggest you spend some time in meditation, since I assume that poor child will be back here soon. Do try to tidy up if guests are coming over.”
“Yeah, but I’ve got this lazy, entitled roommate who keeps leaving golden curls in the sink.” Gary remarked with a wink at Thirp.
Marduk’s hands flew to his golden tresses in distress, only to fall back to his sides in disappointment. “Gary, that was mean. I only have these mortal neuroses because of my bond with you.”
“Yeah… I’m an asshole, but Shai likes me anyway. You clowns are stuck with me.” Gary answered, sinking down to the lawn to meditate with Shai. They sat, back to back, legs crossed, resting against each other comfortably and sharing a quiet time.
#
“Your new sister will be by this evening, so be on your best misbehavior, kids.” Maple said firmly. “I want you to be welcoming and not play any tricks… on her.” The dryad rustled her leaves shyly. “Any embarrassment the boy should suffer would please me, however.”
All three kids gave her a disappointed look. “Be nice miss Maple, he’s trying so hard.” Amy scolded her gently.
All three kids perked up when Becky came out of her little cottage, pulling a pale, petite, dark haired girl behind her. “Hi kids! Come meet Angie, say hi to Amy, Wilf, Rio and Maple. She’s new, coming over to Contract with one of the gang.”
She pulled the girl away, before she had a moment to realize she had been introduced to a tree. The little ones followed after, trooping across the bridge, swarming all around the pair.
They led her through a surreal dream garden of nightmares and joys to a lawn by the baths, where a golden haired child and the terrible spider from her dream waited. Seated on the lawn, back to back and meditating, were her hosts. The madman and his hillwoman cracked their eyes open and rose as the little troupe approached.
“Welcome… I’m not sure how you got here, but I dig your vibe” Gary said, looking tired and sagging a little.
“That, I can answer.” Thirp sang happily, in her classic, white jumping spider form, though capable of human speech as well now. “She is highly attuned to magical forces, as a part of her natural gifts, she is also very compatible with me… and my new portfolio.”
She took a quick scuttle of amusement, running up a fig tree and slowly descending on a thread.
“That is what brought her here, her spiritual resonance with me, her soul crying out for my touch…” Thirp reached out a foreleg slowly and gently to the sweet child standing before her silently, awed by her divinity… as is proper.
“Uh huh, Problem Thirp, she’s an arachnophobe and is about to go into shock.” Becky said calmly, as she pulled Angie back onto a nearby bench, the poor girl was petrified, completely rigid.
#
Becky and Shai took Angie inside, while Gary and the kids consoled Thirp. “Let’s give them some space… let Angie calm down and maybe we can try again, gradually.” He turned to his arachnid friend.
“Thirp, I know you’ve been working on taking other aspects… I hate to ask, but any results that are less… spidery?”
She gave him eight eyes of mild disappointment. “I’m a spider Gary. Can you be less humanoid?”
“Actually…” Gary closed his eyes in deep concentration. He sank down cross legged, as a cloud of dark mist rose all around, obscuring him from sight. An eldritch breeze wafted over, carrying off the mist of shadow, revealing his transformation.
He was nine feet tall, with gray-green, pebbled reptile skin and plates of jagged bone running in a row down his spine and long crocodile tail. His blunt snout and lizard head towered over the watchers, conical gator teeth filled his gaping mouth. Short arms with heavy, clawed four fingered hands gestured in a very Gary gesture of triumph.
Strangely, or rather, more strangely, in the middle of the creature’s long reptilian neck, Gary’s human face peered from an opening.
“Why are you wearing a dead lizard?” Thirp tapped a number of her ‘feet’ at him; a human habit she found very entertaining and had adopted for funzies.
Gary looked around in disappointment. “Aww… nobody?” He drew only blank looks from Thirp and the kids. With a deep sigh, he tugged on a hidden tab and the suit came open, with a zipping, metallic sound. He stepped out and waved, causing it to blow away on a breeze.
“Godzilla, kids… we gotta get you up to speed on the classics.”
“Gary, I have been working with Becky and the dryads, to sift from your scattered mind, the treasures of your culture.” Thirp played an annoyed riff on her harp. “It has been fascinating, curating the Human Heritage Collection… your monster movies did not make the cut.”
“Hmph. My friends, the Stonesmiths have a trick they use, I’m sure you saw them in my memories…” He said, with a smile Thirp found distressing.
“Those people in the animal costumes… what are you suggesting?” She asked, backing away slowly, as his smile widened.
That same darkling cloud began gathering beneath the shining spider deity, enshrouding her form, obscuring her. “Gary, what are you up to? I am as open to new things as the next entity…” She sang from inside the swirling vapor.
“Trust me, it’s gonna be great.” The boy waved his hands dramatically, as the fog blew away. Thirp’s, bright flannel patchwork abdomen of polka dots, stripes, checks and floral prints, was neatly sewn, but held together with a few huge, inexpert stitches here and there, just for the homespun, ragdoll look he was shooting for. Her plush, squeezable legs were adorable, in hues of pink, blue and green faux fur, spangled with beads and sequins at the joints.
Eight shiny button eyes and a set of plump felt mandibles hung down, almost concealing the spider face hidden behind the plump, jolly spider costume.
“I really dislike you at times, Gary. Not often… but occasionally.” Thirp complained, in human speech, since she couldn't really use her harp, while trapped in a ridiculous spider fursuit.
He smiled, winked and made the children vanish in his cloud, as it engulfed himself as well. Clad in plush fursuits with stuffed spider arms dangling on marionette threads from their human arms, they looked at each other, nodded as one and started for the house.
The little group slipped inside, a bright blue peacock jumping spider in the lead. “This hasta work! Thirp’s so cute!” Amy burbled, from behind her mask of feathers and mandibles.
The green orb weaver agreed, in Wilford’s sober voice. “Good plan.”
The brown tarantula nodded firmly, while tapping on his drum softly. “Gary should come in last…” He sighed. “La aranja muerte… He’s still spooky.”
Gary looked down and sighed. Dark brown and shiny carapace armor covered his legs and false arms, while a grinning death’s head with jagged fangs masked his face. Even his plump, squishy, brown felt backside was mildly scary, with another deathshead embroidered in stark white. “Aww man… I’m still spooky…”
The kids in their silly spider costumes came bustling through the door, while Gary dragged Thirp behind him.
“Come on love, you’ll win her over.” He murmured while hauling on one of her plush legs gently.
#
Becky and Shai sat with the girl, soothing her, while Marduk served tea and small cakes, drizzled with honey, chopped dates and pistachios. “These were my favorite offerings, when I was still worshiped in the lands of men.” He murmured, sliding into a seat beside Becky, his sandals dangling a few inches above the floor, kicking idly like a nervous child.
“Sister Thirp is truly a benevolent and kind being…” He continued gently. “You really must Contract her first, it was her divine essence that called your dreaming mind into this place.”
“But…” Angie answered lamely, with a lost and frightened look in her eye.
“Sister, ye are in a land of dreams, a place between The world an the realm of the gods an spirits. Such is lady Thirp, goddess of secrets an… woven crafts. She will nae, would nae, could nae harm thee.”
“A dream? I’m dreaming? Is that why I have two legs here?” She asked in a desperate whisper.
“Kinda.” Becky answered. “Here, you are mostly a projection of your mind and soul. You are not truly present here, but you can interact with those of us who are truly here. Like me, Shai, Marduk… and Thirp, your goddess.”
“I can’t worship a spider!” She answered sharply. “Some dark outsider cult of darkness…”
“Thirp be a goddess who does walk in the light, but works in the shadows, her arts an worship are wholesome an benevolent.” Shai scooted closer, hugging the small girl warmly. “Ye need not fear that we hae some evil plot, sweet Angie. I hae Contract wi her meself, an tis a sweet blessing.”
Angie looked suspicious and frowned. “Tell me of her cult then, what is her portfolio? I’ll not blindly worship some outsider.”
“Thirp’s not an outsider, not anymore… She’s a full part of the pantheon, as are a number of other entities, who are just waking or returning to this world.” Becky answered firmly.
“As to her cult, Thirp is a goddess of weaving, romance, secrets and the hunt for love… also the hunt for food, she is a predator at heart.” Becky smiled happily. “The cult regalia is…” She sighed and looked to Shai.
“Ye did like that silken camisole, did ye nae? An those panties did please thee, e’en though I did pilfer them from Becky…” Shai whispered.
“Hey! Those red ones were new…” Becky griped happily, hugging herself into the girl as well. “I’m never going back to bloomers.”
A bustle at the door drew their attention, as the kids plied in, dressed in ridiculous, plush spider costumes. Even Angie giggled, the last of her fright melting away at the colorful tangle of spiderlings jamming the doorway.
“Ok, that’s cute.” Ange said with a smile.
#