Ch: 19.5 A Hole In The Ground
It was a little disorienting to wake in a different room than he usually did, but it was all his own soul. He could still feel the thrumming energy and life filling his home, even here.
He found the girls out in the garden chatting with Thirp while watching his memories of visiting the Monterey aquarium. There was a whole setup, a big screen to project onto, a wide plush sofa and a nice tree trunk for Thirp to cling to.
They had the decency to look embarrassed, at least. “Go on, watching my own memories is kinda weird, you kids have fun though.” He scanned the garden looking for his… deity? “Where’s the entity hiding?”
Thirp sang his answer in shimmering silken tones. “They are meeting with my lord Aclintherios at the front door. They find it less distracting.”
The velvet rope duo were still keeping things tight at the garden gate. The crowd was much reduced, but the occasional outsider rolled up hoping to get lucky anyway.
At the moment a luminous white preying mantis was trying to bribe her way in with the headless corpse of… it was probably best not to know. “Just look the other way, I scoot on through into your plane, have a little vacay and boop, I’m back out in a few centuries. What’s the harm?”
She seemed rather charming, Thirp had been emphatic in explaining that not all outsiders were inimical to mortal life. Most of the outsiders were upsetting to look at in one way or another, but many seemed to be just people. Weird people, curious about the new guy in the neighborhood, but people none the less. Except those foggy mask guys, they suck.
Velvet rope Notgary was having a nice chat with her so he moseyed over while the others finished their visit to his family trip. “Maybe when we get things settled down, you can negotiate with the rest of me, but I can’t let you in right now.” He spotted Gary and nodded. “Here comes the boss, he’s got a lot on his plate so be cool Ok?”
“Velvet! Hows it going? Shai-lite! Looking good in the business wear.” He grinned at the four foot tall exotic alien insect and winked. “Who’s our visitor?” He asked… himself.
“Gary Ward, this is Gritsck, she’s from a little way down the void. Gritsck, this is the rest of me.” He made smooth introductions at least. “Gritsck is a demigoddess of the hunt, she wants to go on safari in our world.”
“Whoa there turbo, we already have an outsider problem, let us evict our squatters and vagrants before we start trying to rent out rooms.” He shuddered. “Those assholes with the meat ziggurats keep showing up, creepy shits.”
She had snowy white tufts of fluffy fur around her neck and thorax. Opalescent white compound eyes flickering with all the colors of the rainbow gave her face a softer look than one would expect from an insect predator. Her body of pearly white chitin gleamed wonderfully in the almost light of this weird place.
“That is what brings me, I hunt them, to extinction on my world, and on yours if you allow.” She spoke softly, in stuttering clicks and squeaks of her mandibles. “They are now extinct on my world. Just under three centuries ago…” She paused, pivoted her head back and forth a few times and looked confused.
“Time differential, nonlocal influence you are having on me.” She chittered. “Interference.” She said firmly, before bowing gracefully and withdrawing into the void beyond his light.
“Well that got weird.” Velvet said. “She was making perfect sense before, you roll up and here goes the crazy.”
“I shouldn't have to say it… no tourists. Nobody gets in.” Gary deadpanned. “I’ll talk to her if she comes back, or maybe Shai should.” Shai-lite gave a cheerful thumbs up… that was very Gary of her.
Thirp and the girls were finishing their walk down somebody else’s memory lane. Gary strolled over as it wound down squeezed into the sofa beside Shai. “Thirp, buddy, I just had a convo with a lady mantis down at the garden gate, you know her?”
“Her kind are familiar to me, they are keen travelers between realms, yours are among the few barred to them.” He sang. “They are widely respected in the region.”
“Should I consider her request for entry? She says she wants to hunt those mask assholes.” He asked. “If those guys are in the world that’s not great I assume.”
“I believe you are right to delay until more is known, let us see how tonight unfolds.” The spider’s harp sang. “Lady Gritsck is known to my lord, he may have some advice. That consultation must await my lord’s availability, I will ask as soon as I may.”
“Ladies, did you enjoy your trip? Any questions about what you saw?” He asked, while lounging aggressively. His sprawling body language signaling both his discomfort and effort to disguise it.
“Do it bother ye that we hae been rummaging in yer things?” Shai asked, drawing herself halfway into his lap.
“What? No, these are all things I would show you all if I could… well maybe not Tallum, he might get some weird ideas that are best left on the other side.” He grinned. “How did you solve the language problem Becky? Did Shai translate for you?”
They both looked at him blankly. “What language problem?” Beky asked, bewildered and slightly amused.
Gary pawed at his face comically and hugged Shai closer. “Lover, my language gift rubbed off on you a little, I was going to play some pranks with it but… maybe you haven’t noticed yet.” He said in portuguese. “Listen to the sounds I’m making, and feel what your mouth does when you answer.”
“Becky,” He grinned. “Since we seem to be from the same place, you probably have a language gift too. You probably never realized it because everyone speaks the same language here… that’s one of the weirdest things for me.”
Shai was busy feeling her lips and forming unspoken insults to hurl at Gary. Just to feel the odd sensation of thinking one word and saying another.
“Oh look, our long awaited guest… I don't know how this is going to shake down, trust each other. Stay loose and let's see where this goes.” Gary said quietly.
The tattered old barn owl swooped in and landed on Gary's shoulder without fanfare. “Is this my long awaited candidate?”
The creature's voice was no longer identifiable with any fixed gender, fluctuating up and down the scales. “She seems suitable. Shall we begin?”
“Oh, we shall begin, buddy we are just getting started. My sister here, sergeant Becky, she may Contract with you. If she wishes, after we hash some things out.” Gary said firmly.
“We are not going to get anywhere if you keep fighting me Gary. My worship will not be onerous, just a bit of nonsense here and there.” It ruffled its feathers, sending misty shreds of nothing fluttering briefly before they vanished. “You know we will have great fun together, your link to Joy is a good influence on me I think.”
Gary grinned. “You think I’m fighting you? Dude, you are fighting you. I’m just caught in the brawl.” He turned to a very nervous looking spider and called out. “Hey, Thirp, how many gods do your people have?”
“Forty two of note and hundreds of demigods, though we have eight prime deities.” He sang out, now adding confused to his existing stockpiles of nervous.
“Do you have a god of secrets, Thirp?” He asked, eyeing the owl, now perching in a nearby tree.
“We do, She is a minor goddess, subordinate to knowledge, and web mate of the god of tricksters. Would you like to learn her catechism?” He sang, warming to his topic.
“I will definitely take you up on that Thirp, she sounds fun.” He turned to the very agitated owl, glaring at him from a limb. “You are going to be a lot of fun too, once you realize why we are so compatible.” Gary smiled at the angry raptor and waited.
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After a too long moment, the bird replied. “I told you why we are compatible. You are a sneak and a petty criminal, in your old world and here. That is why we are compatible, please stop this foolishness, you are risking everything.”
“I don’t think I’m risking anything. We both know you can’t lie here, we both know that you will know if I lie.” He stepped closer to the bird, not aggressively but with compassion.
“So when I say that in all honesty I am the absolute worst person at being secretive, you know it’s true. I am absolutely incompatible with keeping secrets, I don't like having them, sharing them or hiding them.”
He reached out a wrist and took the bird on his arm. “We are compatible, not because of some grand secret, but because we are both broken.” He settled the bird on his shoulder. “What’s your name, friend? The other gods have names, what's yours?”
The bird vanished from his shoulder in a huge, dusty puff of something that wasn’t. A moment later they emerged from the cloud in their more imposing humanoid form. “Gary, I have accepted much disrespect from you, but you are treading dangerously close too-...”
Gary stepped right up and into his deity, sweeping the misty form into a highly awkward hug. “What are you doing?” The being said, while standing rigid and desperately confused.
“I’m hugging a friend who is hurt and lost. Shai! Wanna get in here? You too Becks!” Hesitantly the girls came over and joined his love fest. He looked over a misty shoulder and winked at Thirp, who clacked his mandibles against his fangs in distress and hopped over to join in.
Thirp skittered into the mix and snuggled his warm, fury body between Gary and Becky. “What are you all doing? This is highly inappropriate…” The shrouded figure asked, losing some of their imposing dignity.
Gary grabbed the cowled head gently and pulled the faceless being into his shoulder. “Shut up and hug it out dude.” After a few moments, the figure began to sag into their combined arms, losing their unnatural rigidity.
“That’s better, now everyone, inside for tea and a bath. Sorry for the false advertising Becky. We may not get you contracted tonight, but you deserve a whole god, not a wreck like my buddy Knowledge here…”
Shai stopped, startled and upset. “Gary, there be no god named such. There be no god Knowledge, tis foriegn tae even suggest that.” She seemed rather upset. “How come ye tae this mad conclusion?”
Gary took her hand and began leading the whole group inside the house. “I think Thirp noticed right away but was too polite to say anything, right buddy?” He turned to his furry friend with a smile. “You are just as confused by the cosmology of this world as I am.”
“It would be highly inappropriate for me to interfere in your world’s…” Gary hushed the spider with a glare. “Yes, I suspected that we were interacting with a less than complete entity.” The chastened spider said.
“So, everybody inside!” Gary sang out, pushing his deity to the back door.”
The spider hopped into the house, swiveling his head in amazing ways as he scoped out the interior for the first time. “Ah, you have a lovely home my friends, I had wondered what humans preferred in a dwelling, I shall write a paper on this when I am reincarnated by my lord!”
“Ghost spider?” Becky whispered in Gary’s ear softly.
“Yeah, his god made him the official emissary to our world, my soul is the embassy, our hooded friend is the representative of the gods of our world. Let’s see what happens, ok kiddo?” Gary whispered back, while winking at Thirp.
“Also Thirp has amazing hearing and has been listening to all of this. Don’t be shy though, he’s cool.”
“Why thank you Gary, Journeyman Shai, thank you for allowing me into your home. I am honored by your welcome.” Thirp sang, his silken harp filling the room with warm overtones and the comfy feeling of a powerful being at ease.
“It is traditional among my people, to present a cocooned meal to the webmistress of the home when visiting…” He skittered up the wall to bob on the ceiling. “I think you would prefer a gift less… culturally specific.”
He slung his harp and began to wave his four rearmost limbs while clinging to the ceiling with his front pairs. He spun a delicate knot of threads, each one placed just so and wound in delicate and dancelike movements.
Shortly, a chandelier of silk, festooned with oblate cocoons dangled from the ceiling, glowing with a pearly light and whispering soft melodies in the gentle breezes drifting through the home.
As Thirp continued, a twining vine of jasmine trailed along his threads, perfuming the house with a warm scent that whispered of early summer days and cool evenings.
The result was breathtaking, a natural and elegant hanging garden in miniature, sending warm light and pleasant scents throughout the home.
Shai clapped excitedly, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Master Thirp, tis lovely, sure’n ye are a dab hand at crafts!” Her fear was now completely forgotten, lost in the wonder of that small gift.
“Wow, can I Contract with your god Thirp? You seem like you have it all together. Poor Gary spends more time soaking in his pool trying to recover than anything else.” Becky chattered, heedless of the cloaked figure being pulled into the home by Gary.
“It is as I told you fool, I only exist in places that are between and almost, I cannot cross your threshold and enter your home properly, anymore than you can force a god into doing that which is outside their nature.”
The hood snorted in an undignified manner. “Even attempting this folly is endangering our contract, tenuous as it is…”
“Oh, yes this is lovely, I sense Shai at work in the decor…” Thirp was saying as Gary dragged his deity through the door.
All eyes turned as the whole house and garden shuddered faintly, timbers creaked and groaned while the lights flickered slightly… except Thirp’s, that thing was awesome.
Gary turned to the side and covered his mouth for a thunderous belch. “Sorry, there’s a lot going on inside me right now, gang.” Shai was looking a little peaky too. “We got this lover, you and me all the way Shai.” Gary said with a wide smile.
Shai conjured a tea service onto a low table by the fireplace and invited her guests to sit with an elegant gesture of welcome.
“Friends, be welcome and sit, mine mate has some foolishness in mind. Tis best we let him hae his way fer now, he do be moon touched ye do understand.”
Gary strolled back and forth while his audience got settled.
“I do have some foolishness planned, and then we are going to all have a heart to whatever some of us have instead of hearts.” He grinned, foolishly and half mad as always.
“First, thank you all for being here, Becky, this is all going to make a lot more sense in a few minutes so stay with me, Shai, you know where I am headed I think.”
He turned to Thirp. “We need you to help with some outside perspective and we will welcome any wisdom you wish to share, but this might get in the weeds a little, sorry buddy.”
Gary turned to his sullen and grumpy looking deity. “You, you need to listen, really listen to what your friends are going to tell you right now, we need you to get in the game buddy.”
“My new buddy Gritsck, sealed the deal. I felt her power from outside the gate, it felt like I could let her in. That I could help her pass through into our world, but she would be the absolute limit.”
Thirp nodded, silently agreeing with his assessment. “Shai and I also felt just a touch… a hint of Joy’s attention in the waking world. That shook us to our foundations with a glance.” He looked at his deity. “You my friend are not in their league, not even close.”
The voice from the hood was still neither male nor female, but it dripped with sarcasm and hurt feelings. “Why thank you for your evaluation. Are we done now?”
“Not even close friend, why don’t you tell my sister Becky exactly where we are right now, and what those lovely bubbles in the sky are… you saw those right Becks?” She nodded and looked at the figure expectantly.
With a heavy sigh that evoked melting snow falling from a barren winter branch in a silent forest, they answered. “We are inside Gary’s soul, those bubbles are representations of his various elements.” With an undignified snort he finished.
“The disarray and chaos in the local area are a result of Gary being a broken mess.”
“Exactly.” Gary replied. “Thank you for that honest assessment. Thirp, buddy, just exactly how many gods should I be able to squeeze into my little soul home here? Rough number please, just a guess.”
“Well… that number would be a rough estimate…” Thirp prevaricated. “There are many factors, your personal situation is…”
Gary shot him a stern look. “We speak the truth here brother” He warned.
“The best I can estimate would be, about zero point zero zero eight, intact gods.” The erudite spider mumbled.
“So, less than one percent of a god should be able to squeeze in here.” Gary said in even and clear tones before turning to his deity.
“I’m fine with who you are, we are going to be a great team. Becky though, she needs a whole god.”
“Gary, shut up.” Becky said. Swatting him on the rump towards Shai. “I decide what Becky needs now, Gary clams up and listens for a minute.” She turned to the entity and smirked.
“He’s got a point though, you don’t really sell me on this whole, make a permanent Contract with an entity of unmeasurable power, thing. Make your pitch if I buy it, maybe we can deal…”
“I am supposed to convince you to accept me? That is not how the patron, supplicant dynamic works.” They said, a little haughtily.
“Hey, Gary, if I wanted a Contract harp, how long would you take to make it for me?” She asked, eyeing her two siblings, who were getting rather cozy on the couch.
“Mmm, two weeks? Maybe less if Shai helps. With the whole crew working, four days and some time for it to mature… one week.” He replied. “Though if you have a specific enchantment in mind, that might make it take a bit longer.”
“That’s how long you have, if you can sell me on a Contract with you before Gary makes me one, great. Otherwise, you need a new approach.” She told the creature.
“Gary likes you and thinks you can help me, Shai says he’s right, so I’m gonna give you a chance. Don’t try to strong-arm me, you won't win that.”
“This is highly irregular and extremely disrespectful, you walk a fine line Gary!” They announced, in strident tones.
“I do walk a fine line, dancing on the edge between blasphemy and heresy. That’s why you need me, a disobedient follower like me is going to ruin the other god’s plans.” He grinned in that mad way.
“They would leave you the broken mess you are right now, I want you to get your back up off the wall and dance.”
“Gods do not dance to the whims of mortals, boy.” They pronounced, filling the home with portent and crackling power. “My will is paramount, your Contract is mine to hold and your soul belongs to me-...”
The dire proclamation was abruptly cut off by Gary’s hand closing on the entity's shoulder in a firm, commanding grip.
“That’s it, into the bath, we can’t make progress like this. Everybody into the bath, you too Thirp.” He took his deity by the arm and pulled them into the bath.
“You keep telling us what you are, so far you have been dead wrong at every turn. Let’s get to the bottom of it, step by step. First you said you could not come inside, but here you are. Any explanation that fits your theory?”
“No, this should be impossible.” They said sullenly, still trying to resist Gary's will.
“So, if you were the god of secrets, could I drag you into the bath and throw you in?” He asked, while dragging the entity to the edge of the bath.
“Gary…” Thirp warned. “You are taking risks with unknown dangers right now.”
“Nope, I’m taking a bath with my friends and my mate. That never hurt anyone.” He stood at the edge of the bath, holding his deity close without strain or effort.
“You guys think the house is my soul, expressed in a tangible form. You think I’m the garden and the home that stands so proudly.” He looked to Shai, smiling sweetly.
“Shai knows, this is me right here. I’m the basin, not even the spring, just a hole that the water fills.”
He stepped down into the pool with the creature, gesturing for his friends to join. “This is all I will ever be, just a simple hole in the ground. It’s what we put in that makes the magic.”
As he spoke the cowled robe began to dissolve, carried away by the chaotic essence of the void.
Thirp was the last one in, tentatively dipping a forelimb in, before clambering down. “Oh my, that is extraordinary!” He sang, holding his harp clear of the water.
“Thirp is a Bather now, are you ready to join the club?” Gary asked the rapidly diminishing cloak.
He received a barely perceptible nod in reply. Without further ado, both figures slipped beneath the surface together.
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