Ch: 226 Yours In The Ranks Of Death

Slowly, painfully Uncieiellie was ripped from the body of her latest host and hurled across unknowable and limitless reaches of the endless nothing, to slap back into her reliquary with an infuriating jolt.

She opened her eyes just in time to see Juno’s vessel’s eyes turn milky white and then go rotten, becoming simply a collapsing, empty corpse, as his soul escaped with a joyful laugh at her predicament. That was… disappointing.

New vessels had been impossible to acquire for the last few centuries, the rest were already lost or decayed away. With regret, she turned to her last remaining viable slave. Dozens of open caskets filled her chamber, with an empty pedestal beside each… They were now all bereft of anything useful, only rotted bones and scraps of flesh remained, save one.

The last sarcophagus was filled with dark red sand, all the way to the top. A gleaming harp of deep red wood, mounted with silver fittings and fixtures sat on the nearby pedestal, beside a robe of deep crimson.

With a much aggrieved sigh, she sent her will into the sand entombing Damsen’s corpse prison. The sand stirred and rose from the coffin, forming into the body of a beautiful, nude young woman, her skin a gleaming garnet red. She donned her all concealing robe and took up her harp with a frown, while her actual body remained insensate, chained securely in her sarcophagus.

‘You will obey, Damsen… or your torments will be worse than anything you have yet experienced.’ She commanded her slave, while her Will and her slave’s fingers dripped dissonance and sour notes from the harp.

“Yes mistress.” Damsen whispered quietly, as she strode up the long stone steps to the surface.

#

Shai slammed the workshop door and marched over to the grotto, intent on waking that boy up and rattling some sense into him… with her knuckles if need be. When she stomped in and glared down at him, all three kids were floating along with him, curled together in the weedy, slow flowing, hot water.

“Wilf can’t hear the snake, anymore…” Amy popped one eye open and spoke quietly, as Shai approached. “You’re mad at him… but Wilf can finally sleep again, so shhh…”

With a sigh, she let her fury drain slowly away, as she disrobed and joined her mate and children for a soak. “Do ye ken wae he he built down there, Amy?”

“It’s bad…” She whispered. “...really bad. I can hear it down there, calling to the snake… instead of Wilf.” She shuddered and pulled herself closer to her parents and brothers.

Gary woke with Otho watching over him, the huge dog’s red gold paws dangling just in the pool. The mutt chuffed at him and ambled off, while The musician was still trying to shake off a lingering malaise.

Shai bustled in looking furious, concerned and relieved all at once, so he sank back down in the water with a sigh. “You found my new gauntlet and are not best pleased?” He asked with a fatalistic smile.

“Ye hae wrought another vile thing, tae counter yer other vile thing… ye are not moving in the right direction, ye great bally fool of a man.” She muttered softly.

“Wilford hae smiled freely fer the first time since…”

“Since that thing bit Maddie and woke up.” He finished for her. “I had to do something. It can’t have him.”

“Fie! It kinnae! An ye kinnae unmake this thing, why in all the cold depths dae ye make a cursed…” She stopped and smiled wickedly for a moment, then disrobed and slipped into the bath with him.

“Ye would curse them taegether, wouldn’t ye?”

“Yeah… once that gauntlet closes around the club, I can start unwinding both of them… Getting to grips with it is the problem.” He smiled weakly. “That unicorn is not going to let this, or me pass by without a fight I don’t want…”

“Ye kinna sneak past? Ye are damnably sly…”

“Ohh no… She will smell me two miles away and upwind; see me like I was carrying a torch and hear me coming before I even start walking.” He sighed and drifted around so they were floating side by side.

“She wouldn’t even have to stick me with her horn… anything I did to hurt her would tear me to pieces from the inside, I think. Even thinking about attacking her hurts.”

“Aye lad… tis because ye are a living man, an a good one, despite whae these others say an dinnae ye doubt it.” She snuggled close and wrapped herself around him in the bed of watercress and reeds.

“An I could get thee tae stop hurting thyself an creating abominations, tis a fine husband ye’ll make.”

“I can’t make any promises on either one of those, love.” He whispered, as he drifted off again.

Gary came out just before dinner, walking face first into the scent of fresh bread and roasting meat. He grinned, seeming much more awake, but with his left arm in a sling, hanging limply. He waved the concerned glances and half formed questions away with a careless smile. “No problem, I’ll have leftie back in the morning… I think.”

He settled down to dinner with his kids and groaned. “Ohh… so hungry…”

Wilf smiled and tore a big hunk off a warm loaf, buttered it and passed it over with a smile. “Thanks, Gary.”

Bread never tasted better, nor filled him so fully before.

#

Jerry and Carlos were once more on the road, wagon driving for the Ginger Dreadnought Company. The sweet payday for those bandit chumps made his purse feel far more comfortable. A new saddle, one fitted to his own backside and his new horse, also courtesy of those idiots made his rump happy too. The two men rode in companionable silence, following the Coast Road through Port Ellis, headed for Port Fallon.

Their first cargo had been moved onto a ship headed for the far side of the shallow sea, now they were hauling a few crates of printer’s ink and a few hundred pounds of paper, destined for the Printers and Bookbinders guild hall in Port Clement.

An unseasonable storm and some mysterious cock up at the docks in Port Fallon the week before had left the whole region in a tangle of misdirected and delayed shipments. The draymens guild was cleaning up, financially and literally, while the numerous bargemen’s and maritime guilds were in a tizzy.

Their wagon had a pair of bunks that slid out to either side, riding on beams that locked the wheels in place when parked. The clever arrangement let them pull the waterproofed canvas cover out and over, creating dry and comfy, if narrow sleeping spaces for the two men.

A tiny camp stove even kept them warm on cool nights, fueled by some means Carlos seemed to understand. When asked, he only smiled and shrugged, mumbling about madmen and the moon. Jeremiah let it go, assuming it was a matter of some local cult… Wheatford seemed thick with those.

In any case, a trip on the coast, even without those lovely willows to camp under… This was a pleasant ride. The shore birds and scudding clouds over the shallow sea were as diverting as the warm sun was relaxing. He rocked to his mount’s easy stride and thought about the future.

“Got a woman, Carlos?” He asked, smiling at some memory.

“There’s a girl I like, Theresa… but she’s an orphan…” He sighed, long and slow. “I’d half hoped those bandits would be worth enough…”

“Your cut was a gold half mark, lad… how much do you think her indenture will be?” Jerry scoffed and leaned back on his saddle roll, embracing the sunshine.

“I’ll have to buy her at auction… in Wheatford…” He mumbled sadly. “No orphan of Wheatford has sold for less than a full gold mark in two hundred years.”

“Huh…” He grunted and looked cross at the world in general. “I sold for six bronze and one copper mark… Why do I feel offended?”

“It’s said that the old duke, he bought the current duke for a full silver mark… then gave him to his daughter, the current duchess, as a gift.” Carlos muttered sadly.

“This town is truly mad…” Jerry muttered. “I like it!” He clapped the small youth on the shoulder and grinned savagely. “We’ll have to keep an eye out for more bandits… you ever consider adventuring, part time?”

“Me? Hunt monsters?” He asked with an audible gulp.

“Ach, lad… it’s no more dangerous than traveling the roads unescorted… Take a notice from the board, find it, poke it with a spear, collect money.” Jerry mumbled around his pipe, another gift from that mad lobster.

“Pay’s good, you clearly don’t mind travel… do a few weekend jobs til… when’s her indenture?”

“Three years.” He said softly. “We’ve been together for two already. My parents nearly died when I told them. That’s why I took this job… gets me away from home… my folks still don’t understand.”

“That’s eight years till you can marry her properly, lad… sure she’s the one?” Jerry asked, very gently.

“Sure as I am that the sun’s coming up tomorrow.” The young lad said with a smile. “She joined one of those ‘local cults’ you mentioned… Sometimes she wears her cult regalia for me… she’s the right one.”

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Jerry took a moment to consider the robes and hoods most cults preferred and shrugged. “Whatever moves ye my young friend. Now stay here, I have a little business to attend down yon side road a mite.” He settled his helm on his head and grinned through the vizor.

“An anyone asks, yer me Adventure apprentice an partner on this job… tis nae a solo job, that wise.”

Carlos set up his camp by the seaside and unhitched his team. “Adventurers… all mad.” He muttered to his two friends, while they watched the whales and dolphins at play. They leapt and surged, chasing the wake of a three masted sailing vessel painted bright blue with sea creatures frolicking in all the colors of the rainbow in her paintwork... “That’s the life… swimming around, no worries.”

#

“Ahh, this is the life!” Grace mumbled happily, while a mingled pod of dolphins and small whales chased the ship, playing tag with Falco and Esperanza’s Bounty.

“They follow us for their protection… and ours. This is the high season for aquatic monsters…” Esperanza called from the wheel.

“Though since winter, there seems to be a lull… We would expect at least a giant crab or a kelptangler by now…”

“Becky said that her crew slaughtered a huge number of sea monsters in mid winter… some place called Evard village was overrun, I guess.” Angie shrugged. “Anyway, she said they were eating monster crab and lobster for weeks.”

“Now I’m hungry.” Orlando announced, as he got up and headed for the galley hatch. “Monster squid chow mein anyone? Ivy taught me her recipe.”

Esperanza and her crew declined. “This one fears to become a squid, should she eat any more, but indulge… We have dryland fare aplenty as well. Yusef is making groundworm stew for dinner.”

Yusef was watching a young wagon driver and his paired donkeys set up a simple camp on the shore, as they swept by on the freshening breeze, deck rolling beneath his feet.

“That must be the life…” He sighed, contemplating his occasional nights ashore at the inn.

#

Filly buzzed and rattled around her cabin like a bee in a jar, fretting for most of the night. There was a brown armored civic guardsman at the foot of the gangway… She was trapped on board by order of duke Belen, as good as under arrest, without the complications.

She considered standing on her rights, as baroness… but Boney Tony had looked like he was on the ragged edge, or about to puke.

At dawn, a gold robed cleric arrived at the dockside, accompanied by Tony.

“We request permission to board, baroness.” Her giant cousin announced formally.

“Come along then, quick now… we move with purpose aboard ship, no dallying.” She all but dragged them to her cabin, where her two guards waited.

“Come now, what of my crew? Tanya and Kimtz? I know poor Jix didn’t make it.”

“Yes, Baroness, apprentice seaman Jix did not survive his wounds. Journeyman Tanya and apprentice Kimitz will be ready to return to duty in a day or two. Their wounds were grave, but the goddess smiles on us this year.” Naiomi reported calmly.

“Now tell us, dear child… how a demon came to book passage on your personal warship?” Something in the old woman’s placid face hardened into a rocky cliff… one Filly was certain she would shatter against, should they collide.

“My uncle died, lost at sea a few months ago… at the will reading, this… He called himself master Oddsman Juno. He had debt chits totaling two silver marks and some change, in my uncle’s hand…”

“...When the tempest cleared we took sail again, only to be attacked by a kraken, dredged up from the depths by the storm…”

“...driven three days sail west by a sudden, freak storm…”

#

“I would suggest that the next journey you take… if the spirits of land, sky and sea all try to dislodge your passenger… You should consider peeking under the robes and see whether they are right.” Naiomi muttered crossly

“I strongly believe your minds were influenced by this creature… Otherwise I suspect he might have gone overboard much sooner.”

“Had I known its nature, I’d have burnt down the ship before letting it aboard.” She growled, eyeing a selection of harpoons on the wall.

“Yes… well we have a team that is expert in these matters, they are currently… out of town. Duke Belen extends you his ‘hospitality’...” She coughed a little there. “Until they return and can evaluate the matter more fully.”

“Am I being detained, good priestess? Sir knight?” She asked carefully.

“Certainly not, baroness. It’s simply that these are delicate matters afoot and you have been delayed in your journey. You have missed some important things.” Tony mumbled and sputtered.

“I found out where babies come from last week Tony… speak plain.” She snapped at him.

The giant knight turned to the tiny old woman beside him with pleading eyes. She grinned, gave a wicked and devious wink and said nothing at all. With a massive sigh he sank down onto her bunk and hung his head in his hands.

“It all started around mid summer last year… A woodcutter staggered into town claiming to have been accosted by a ‘boy whore’ and robbed in the woods.” He muttered sadly.

“A ‘mad boy whore with magic clubs and knives’! Don’t undersell it lad!” Naiomi sang happily, swinging in her hammock seat.

“I asked for your help… not color commentary, Naiomi!” Tony snapped, then blanched in horror. “Please, forgive my lapse, high priestess Naiomi. By all means.” Tony fell into a shamed and embarrassed silence, forcing the old woman to pick up the story.

“Sir Tony, my silly husband and a picked squad of goons spent most of the night tracking this ‘mad boy whore’ through the woods to a hidden, secret whorehouse…” She giggled and rocked back and forth for some reason.

“I participated in the raid on the former baron Wilmer… what we found on his ‘pleasure boat’ left me… unamused by illegal prostitution.” Filly said dryly.

“Ahh, I’m sorry my dear, that was a bad business, but in this case… no whores, none at all… just a lost boy with an odd talent for… making himself at home.” She chortled happily. “You will learn the rest when you meet him… Oh the fun we will have…”

“High priestess… I think my cousin would…” Tony began.

“Hush, boy! You asked for my help, remember. Now I will handle this girl’s induction into our little club…” She tittered madly. “I’ve never actually witnessed the full effect before… I’ll need a fresh notebook and pencil!”

“It feels like much is being left unsaid…” She murmured, though she was unwilling to challenge this high priestess that could cow Tony so easily.

“So much has been left unsaid, it could fill a few volumes… If some lunatic were ever mad enough to pen such a wild and fanciful yarn.” Naiomi muttered right back. “Though who ever would read such madness?”

“Yes, high priestess, but she should be fairly warned before she meets Gar…” Quick as a striking serpent, the crone’s weathered brown finger silenced the big man’s lips. He opened his mouth to speak anyway, so she hooked her finger into his cheek and dragged him to his feet.

“Off we go… Duke Belen asks this courtesy of you, ‘stay until his team can return to investigate this matter, if you would’.” Naiomi dragged the stooped and hunched form of Tony out of her cabin and down the gangway.

The old nightmare only released him after hauling him a ways off and chewing him up like old jerky.

“Beto, you have the watch. Daphne, please escort me, I wish to explore the town more fully. Agnes, Jonah, Quint, you are at liberty till sundown…” Filly ordered firmly. “Change into local attire and get me some information. Ask about some ‘lost boy’ who came around midsummer…” She stopped at the gangway.

“New ship’s law. No one aboard unless we see a human face first. Mark that well lads and lasses.”

#

Kingfisher passed Moonrise, as she was sailing down a tributary, rejoining the main channel. Barney barely managed a friendly hail to the wheelhorse, before they were falling away behind. The little barge was clipping along rather fast for her make, tossing a fine, curling bow wave from her prow. His passenger was gripping a safety rail and looking white as a new sail.

“Easy lad… we’ll have you home and back soon… we just have to dawdle in these narrows.” He sang happily, while adjusting a rope.

The whole boat groaned like a living thing, one that was having a very good time. When the prolonged moan of carnal, woody pleasure ended, the boat was almost flying over the water. Barney’s mad laugh of unadulterated joy carried over the water for miles.

#

“Was that kingfisher?” Gary asked sleepily. “All I saw was a flash of white and then it sounded like a boat was fucking the water… and the water was into it.”

“Gary! Language!” Becky scolded. “Kingfisher makes love to the water… She’s just really loud about it.”

The whole foredeck giggled stupidly, as the pipe went round again. The kids were down for a nap after a restless night, the boat was moving well under sail, crewed by Dannyl and Ivy in the rigging. Gary and Shai relaxed back on a pile of cushions and sighed together.

His left arm was still mostly numb and dead, it didn’t even cast much of a shadow… but Wilf was playing and smiling again, so that was a fair trade.

He was lounging, shirtless, trying to get his shadow to grow back, with Shai sprawled alongside, snuggly and warm. Even Becky was grinning and relaxed, probably a contact high from whatever Liam had stuffed in his pipe this time; it was pretty explosive. Tallum, Khan, Luna, and Nick were nearly passed out all around, grinning like idiots.

It took a long time for him to wonder who was steering the boat…

“Shai… who’s steering?” He murmured softly.

“Mmm? S’ fine, dinnae fret, lad. It be in good… hands?” She rolled over and began to snore, apparently satisfied.

When he finally mustered the energy to stand and look back at the wheelhouse, he smiled with daft amusement.

Annie had her lips peeled back in an equine shit eating grin, with the rudder tucked through her halter; steering the boat with loud, happy chuffs of pleasure. It was Shai’s black tricorn, her silly pirate captain’s hat and cockade perched on her head that made the whole thing work.

“I can’t believe this is my life now…” He muttered for the thousandth time.

#

A wide, slow tributary entered the main river, shallow and turgid with silt. Moonrise sailed up, with Tallum in the bow, taking soundings with a long slender pole.

They sailed past the most perfect, beautiful, familiar meadow, dominated by the most magnificent cottagewillow tree…

“Tis a barnwillow now, methinks!” Shai muttered, when the gleaming white equine came stamping out, whinnying in challenge and glaring at Gary in particular as they slowly motored by.

“She’s exquisite…Khan gasped, which made Annie nudge him into a conveniently open deck hatch… into the rope locker.

While Khan tried to figure out how he wound up stowed with the spare sails and ropes, the rest of the team moored the boat to a grassy embankment a scant quarter mile from the splendid meadow.

Poor Nicolai was so unicorn befuddled and enchanted, they had the house set up and an early dinner started, before he realized they weren’t looking at the pretty horsie anymore.

“She’s outrageous…” He murmured to Khan, who nodded dumbly and got swatted across the face with Annie’s tail for it.

“Psssht… I’ve seen hotter horses…” Gary mumbled, then blushed, when everyone looked at him weird. “Hey, I’m a complicated guy!” He grumbled lamely.

Gary stomped off mumbling to himself. “... oh yeah we all love the one horse that wants to murder me with her stabby headboner…”

All the way down into the workshop he kept it up. “...Sure, I’ll stay down in the dungeon, slaving away while you go make nice with Pointy the Murderpony…”

He was nearly done with Willow’s obvious bribe… err, perfectly reasonable request. Enchanting one handed was slow going even if it was just a few more lines and glyphs. The others had been happy with their child sized bodies, since they were little more than mobile tree golems, allowing them to haunt their vessels and amble around at will.

Willow wanted a more immersive experience, a body that, once inhabited, could pass as a human, unremarked. That challenge had amused and intrigued him… and was in line with his own experiments.

Oddly, the head was the easiest. His experience with Victor translated easily, while the wooden medium, already haunted by the dryad’s own Ka, took his enchantments with ease, eagerness even. The only problem was her final request, that the body be capable of combat. He hadn’t asked why, Willow was the most human of all his dryad friends and the warmest, most comforting spirit he’d met in the longest. Anything she wanted to fight probably deserved it.

The problem was willow the wood. Soft, light, tough, but easily marred and dented… not a timber suitable for rigorous uses. He’d resorted to using willow cored spidersilk reinforced oak faced plywood, over a skeleton of willow and monster bone. The hands were simplicity itself, since Willow would sprout tendrils and fronds into a set of groundworm leather gloves, simulating hands. Her glamor and fae magic would take care of the rest. Weapons were a problem that needed solving, but she would need to manage that herself… Gary was not going into the arms trade.

“I love watching you work.” Willow cooed from the rafters, scurrying down a beam for a better look.

“I can feel your deep disappointment, that she hates you so, while you love her and everything she represents.” She chittered an insectile sigh and skittered onto his shoulder, bobbing sadly up and down. “That is what remains of your undeath, the final scrap of that undying filth you cursed yourself with.”

She slipped onto her puppet body and took a poke around, while he inscribed her collarbones with shrugability and hugability. “It is good you were not near when her rider succumbed to the sun… I shudder to think what might have arisen when next moonrise kissed this glade.”

“What does that mean?” He demanded gently.

“Under the dullahan, a warrior of might, fallen into darkness, she was a nightmare, flitting on wings of dark dreams through the night. Reborn, she is light and life incarnate… the wilds in all their rushing, fierce vigor. Where she steps, new life blooms, death cannot abide near her…”

“So she wants to murder me because I used to be dead… in her mercy.” He deadpanned.

“Exactly.” Willow said firmly. “Life and death should touch, crossing paths frequently…” She sighed and looked him up and down. “In you, life and death met, went for coffee, stopped to make out, set up a little love nest and started pulling babies out of the void.”

“Ouch, Willow.” He complained weakly. “So, can you help convince her to let me get my evil stick back?”

“I will help, of course… but it will come down to darling Rolf… his dreams are the most shocking…” Willow stopped talking when Gary turned away and started shouting:

“Lalalal! I can’t cover my ears, cause my left is dead so I’m shouting over your description of Rolf’s kinkydreams…!” He half sang in a flat monotone.

“Don’t be a child Gary, It’s only a little…” Willow began, with a nasty sparkle in her many faceted eyes.

Gary was hoarse from singing nonsense songs when the others got back from pony ogling.

#