Ch: 273 In My Fig Tree
Sheila clung to a willow trunk near the marshy ruins and sighed. “There’s a lot wrong with that boy and his girl.” She muttered to Willow, whose dainty wooden feet dangled just out of sight among the fronds.
“There’s a fair bit right with them, too.” She answered happily. “They are having some uniquely mortal problems that are also unique to this world’s troubles… Your goddess is deeply interested in your report. Unfortunately, your way out is going to be a little bit complicated. I’m afraid you will have to await his recovery in order to return.”
“Perhaps I should stalk them for a while? They seem interesting.” She murmured softly.
“Oh, no, that would be a terrible idea, my dear. The local spider tribes are very protective of them, they will probably take your presence poorly.” Willow murmured in alarm. “I can introduce you to a few of the more interesting local insect monsters, though. You seemed to enjoy that other one quite a bit.”
“It was delicious…” She murmured. “An extended safari in your strange new world would be lovely…”
#
“Ohhh… no Gary, it’s certain, this is far from the first time you have been mortal on this world.” Thirp whispered softly. “I had wondered how there were so many of you, each distinct and uniquely skilled at their tasks. The Shai-lites and Almost-Beckie’s are all uniform until tasked with a job… yet they are so differentiated.”
“I reincarnated a few times?” He asked warily, clearly suspecting he was not going to enjoy the answer.
“No.” Marduk answered calmly, with a simmering, divine fury tightly controlled behind his eyes. “You were captured, summoned, ritually sacrificed and then recaptured through unclean magic… Again and again, in an attempt to create a true abomination.”
“I got what?” Several of him asked at once, creating a small storm of his question.
“A terrible crime was committed, several times… on your very soul, Gary. They wish to create a portal through the veil large enough and stable enough to allow a foreign god to physically invade this world and inhabit it.” He mumbled.
“That explains why they want you back so desperately. No sane soul could withstand the stress of their unnatural process, only yours failed to dissolve back into the ether.”
“We are gonna need a minute here..” A choir of angry Garies sang at them… angrily.
“Jam sesh?” A few dozen asked the others, who either nodded or shrugged in their legions. Instruments began to appear from all around as a thunderous noise swept the void, a loud, angry jazz rock challenge.
Your black cards can make you money so you hide them when you're able…
In the land of milk and honey, you must put them on the table!
You go back, Jack, do it again, wheels turnin' 'round and 'round.
You go back, Jack, do it again!
#
Gary kept singing his strange song about stolen water, murder and other less understandable things for almost an hour more, before he fell silent and into natural sleep.
“The worst seems to have passed…” Tawny whispered, once Shai was tucked in among the children and her boy.
“For him, that was relatively straightforward…” Liam began, as Gary sat up with his eyes wide and his mouth gaping in a scream of mortal anguish that frightened the wildlife for a half mile in every direction… without making a sound.
His eyes gradually focused as he slowly took in a huge breath, through raw, dry, air passages. “Ouch.” He rasped softly. “Can’t talk now… I need this more than anything.” He whispered painfully, while burrowing in deeper with his family. “Well, maybe some water…”
“I think he just wanted us out of the room, he probably has cold beverages in his storage to last a week.” Liam muttered in the galley, while Tawny drew a flask of water from the ship’s tank.
“That’s true…” His shadow agreed from behind the door. “About the beverages… But his Mana’s bottomed out hard. Can’t get into his storage gift. The shadow, though… well, it’s tippy top! Too much really, those cultists are really filling. All dark and moody.” The cheery, mad shade whispered happily.
“Gary… please don’t haunt us with your shadow. That crosses some boundaries.” Liam answered calmly.
“Oh, sorry, I’m not your Gary, I’m Gary. They sacrificed infant me in that cave, while I was still forming in this world…” He grumbled, as he bit into a shadow apple. “Cut my heart out with jagged glass knives while I screamed… I’m pretty pissed about it.”
“Oh, Gary…” Tawny gasped in horror.
“It’s ok… I blew up on them, literally…” He sighed sadly. “Everything with a soul died for a mile around, even the innocents, when they fumbled their ritual. Your Gary says they failed to secure my shadow properly.”
“Well, that solves the mystery of Greenwall hamlet… mostly.” Tallum grumbled.
“I really should feel bad ‘bout it, but I’ve been trapped in my own fossilized heart for… centuries? It felt like centuries at least. Also, I got no body; just shadow, Animus and Will.” He shrugged and tossed his shadow apple over his shoulder. “He wanted me to tell you a few things since he’s not eager for the kids to find out… Kids… I have kids…” He smiled somehow, without having a face or features of any kind. “I can’t wait to get to know them… and her.”
“This is super weird and difficult…” Dannyl complained. “Are you a ghost?”
“No… I’m Gary, I don’t know any of you, but you feel… like home. I’m looking forward to getting to know all of you.” He nodded with pleasure. “He recovered enough Mana to get his own drink… Tawny?”
“Yes, I’m Tawny…” She answered sheepishly, still clutching her flask of water.
“I guess I’m going to be a part of the rest of us soon, but I’d like to get to know you all a little on my own… if I could?” He hung his head a little and sighed. “Yeah, that’s weird.”
“No, It’s fine.” Becky whispered. “Come with me. The sunlight’s probably bad for you.” She pulled the shade away from the open hatch and the beam of bright afternoon sunshine streaming into the galley. “You are going to be fine. My god told me all about you, Gary”
“I’m still a little worried about the whole gods thing…” He complained. “Getting sacrificed sours me on the prospect.”
“I know brother… But you’re safe now, and my gods are not interested in making anyone suffer for their amusement.” She answered firmly, with shadow Gary on the sofa beside her.
“That’s gonna be a refreshing change…” He grumbled. “Turns out they’ve been summoning and ritually sacrificing me for a while… a long while. They also want to get back to it, so their god can push into this world and… be a huge asshole.” He shrugged his shadow shoulders helplessly. “I guess they wanted to make me… us, into a door big enough for their king Anus to squeeze through.”
“That’s… a lot to digest, Gary.” The girl beside him whispered. “Why don’t you try this?” She reached above the sofa and pulled down a uke from its hooks and tuned it up for him.
“I’m a shadow, Becky. I can’t…” She crammed the instrument into his hands and backed away as the music started. “Ohh, my… That’s nice.” He strummed a simple chord progression that felt smoothly tropical, swaying in minor keys. “It’s been so long… I never thought I’d…” Softly he began to sway and sing.
Never never knew that the time would come,
When every man’s got to find where he does come from.
Never never knew that the time would come,
When every fig must find its fig tree…
He swayed on the couch beside Becky, lifting a simple, heartfelt song into the little boat for a while.
…Where I long to be from all misery’
in my fig tree where I wanna be…
in my fig tree where I wanna be…
So safe and free in my fig tree. In my little fig tree…
Where I long to be from all misery, yeah yeah yeah yeah…
Now every man is a man and every mickle make a mottle,
Don't free some and put some in a shackle!
For now is the time and the time is now,
When we should live like in the days of old…
When every sheep had their fold!
When his strange song ended he sighed happily. “Bunny Wailer, man… Anyway, the rest of me is ‘working on the problem’, whatever that means in this case.”
If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
“That means…” Gary croaked from the cabin door, as he staggered out, leaning on his Contract weapon in cane form. “...that I’m all messed up inside. I can’t get Contracted until I get you settled and fully integrated. That’s gonna take some cultivation, meditation and a little dream magic.”
He landed on the other side of Becky with a slow wheeze of exhaustion. “Most of the pantheon are hanging out in me right now. Order, Craft and War showed up for the ‘emergency meeting’, so I’m stuffed to the gills with deities or their avatars.”
“That sounds… uncomfortable.” Gary’s shadow murmured awkwardly.
“Yeah, coming to grips with a god was tough, hanging out with a bunch of them feels super weird and janky.” He murmured. “I feel you bro.”
“Do you feel strong enough to create the house? We won’t be home til after dawn even if we sail all night. Most of us are nearly exhausted now.” Liam asked gently. “I don’t think Shai’s up to it.”
“Find a place to put in and I’ll find the juice somewhere… we all need a rest under our roof.” He said softly.
#
Shai and the kids were still asleep as the house formed under the early evening sun. He conjured it slowly and carefully, reaching for all the efficiency and Mana cost savings he could find. His new shadow clone helped out with some steady rhythm guitar work, keeping his improvisational bossa nova rolling along to the finish.
After a half hour of gentle music it was ready. Not so large and grand, without the extensive grounds and orchards, just a small home with a small outdoor bath by the riverside on a low hill.
“Wow, it’s really magic…” The exhausted shadow murmured happily.
“Dude, you were on my magic boat, with my magic friends…” He complained to his own self.
“That’s different! This is real magic!” He murmured in awe.
“Well go inside and see what all the fuss is about… I’m gonna go get Shai and the kids.” Gary told himself.
Liam and Dannyl were already transferring Moonrise onto the pier, from her hasty shore mooring. The plank was run out and all the lines and fenders were in place when his sleepy family followed him out into the waning sunshine.
“Oh… Classic house…” Liam mumbled tiredly, once everyone was inside and slippered up.
“I’m pretty messed up right now…” He yawned in his defense.
They had a quiet and contemplative dinner before buttoning the house up tight and sending Gary off to bed. “Come on Shady, let’s see if we can dream ourselves out of this weird position.” He mumbled on the way into his grotto by the bath.
“Who’s that hot red haired chick, is she single…? Whoah! Mystical waterfall cave? Sweeeet!” The shadow cried as they vanished behind the dangling vines concealing the entrance.
#
“Nope, sorry, you’re not on the list. Private function, Gary.” VelvetRope NotGary said firmly to the man and his shadow. “This place is closed to you.”
“How the fuck does that work?” He demanded hotly.
“I think you know. Until we have things figured out, you can’t enter. We have deities and beings with whom you cannot interact, in here. If you come in, they have to go. We need them more than you right now.”
“War, Order and Craft are still in there… aren’t they?” He snapped.
“The guest list is private, Gary.” Velvet snapped right back. “You declared war on a third of the major deities and snuffed a bunch of immortals… none of them will risk talking to you.”
“Cowards!” He yelled, shaking the walls of the tiny room they stood in. Everything in the chamber was pastel and soothing, like a typical shrink’s office, even the nasty, uncomfortable furniture and shitty magazines. He and his shadow faced Velvet, outside an unmarked and unremarkable wooden door, one that was sealed tight against them.
“Maybe, but we have to work with the powers that exist… those that still remain.” The huge man in black grumbled.
“Dude! Stop getting bigger, you can’t intimidate me that way!” Gary grumbled at himself, while pacing the small room. “Whatever plot you guys hatch, I get final say… nobody is pushing me around anymore! Not even me!” He growled at himself.
“Gary, you hold our executive functions… right now, but you proactively and with deliberation, severed one of us and fed him through the devourer. That destabilized us pretty badly, now you found another one of us out of nowhere…” He spoke softly and soothingly to himself, trying to calm the furious musician.
“We can see so many more of us, lost down there; now that we know what to look for… we need to get them back.”
“Great, so I get an eternal fetch quest to drag my sorry ass all over the planet searching for my parts? Miss me with the bargain basement plot hook.” He snarled at his own very reasonable self. “I have goals of my own! If you think I’m going on an endless, ‘Gary of the week’ syndicated soap opera that’s gonna run til I die, guess again.”
“No one is trying to distract or deter you… and you would be several centuries traveling around collecting us all, if what we are seeing is correct. The numbers are staggering…” The big man sighed desperately. “So many murders…”
“I’m not worried about the past, Velvet. I’m here now and so are my kids… they want to take them and my friends away and sell them to anybody with enough coin… even this cult, cause it’s tradition. Don’t try to get in my way.” He snarled at himself.
“I am in your way, cause that’s my role. Yours is to be our hands in the mortal world. Don’t get in our way, Gary. We are already paying the price for your choices.” He grumbled at himself.
“Ducky and Thirp have already had to leave. They can’t fully re-enter your soul realm right now, maybe never again… They have to use avatars like the rest of the gods now.”
“Whoah… dude.” He muttered softly, his anger fled. “Are they ok? Will they be alright out there?”
“It’s where they belong, Gary. You are a little island of mortal reality in their vast realm of wonders, with larger beings pressed all around you wondering what the hell is going on. Worry about yourself… yourselves? Dang… this is hard.” Velvet sighed and sat on the arm of a crappy waiting room sofa.
“We’ve drawn the attention of deities and… elder beings with your, our antics. Now they are making demands we can’t simply refuse. ‘A mortal cant be allowed power over the eternal ones…’ and such.”
“Fuck ‘em?’” He offered hopefully. “Tell them to pound ether and get lost?”
“That won’t work, some of the local pantheon is on their side. If Morrigan still had a Contract with us, this would be really hairy. Good job brushing her off.”
“Thanks, bro. So what do I do while you guys are… negotiating?” He demanded gently. “I can’t just waddle around like this.”
He shrugged and smiled weakly at himself. “Exercise, practice our arts and crafts… live. We have a fix in the works. For tonight, lay out under the moon and sleep, then go visit with Willow and Maple in the haunted grove tomorrow.” Velvet smiled again, this time with real pleasure behind it. “Now… I’ve wanted to do this for a while!”
With startling speed and terrible strength, Velvet grabbed Gary by his collar and belt, hauled him to the door to the waking world. For some reason it was now the swinging double shutters of an olde tyme saloon, complete with tinny, ragtime music from PianoMan NotGary over in the corner…
Velvet dragged him across the barroom; the one that wasn’t there a moment ago, and pitched him through, like the unruly drunk in every western ever.
“Oh, that was satisfying.” He mumbled happily from the saloon doorway floating in the endless nothing, as Gary and his shadow tumbled back into the world.
#
He sprawled out under the moon shortly before midnight, savoring its warm radiance on his skin, beside the bathing pool. His shadow pooled all around soaking it in as well, murmuring happily from time to time. “So you wander the countryside with your magic house full of hot chicks and making music? I could get used to this, man… It’s like a dream…”
“Yeah, well I’m not interested in having you as a tagalong for the rest of my life, bro. We’re cool, but this is not a harem manga and even if it were, I’m not sharing.”
“Dude! Weak!” He grumbled at himself.
“You know what I mean… don’t be so sensitive.” He complained at his shadow self.
“Cut me some slack then.” He grumbled. “You’ve had a chance to live.”
“Wait… that’s a thought…” He mumbled happily at his shadow. “Come with me.”
“I don’t have much choice.” Shady mumbled sourly while following him downstairs, into the workshop.
Down among the tools and supplies, Gary spent a few minutes stitching and embroidering a few runes and glyphs in his arming coat.
“This will allow you a bit of mobility on the grounds of the house, while we work on a more permanent fix.” He mumbled through a mouth filled with pins and needles.
#
Sunrise dawned wet and sparkling by the riverside. A late night rainshower had strolled up the valley, leaving fresh washed and exuberant summertime in her wake. The velvety soft moss on the garden paths shone green and silver under the dew and raindrops. The flowers in the garden all nodded sleepily, dripping shining droplets to the lawn with every slow movement, as two men walked through the sunny paths together.
One wore drab brown and gray workman’s clothing, the other was in armor, dark red armor of insect carapace, monster leather, bronze and spidersilk. “This feels… loose, wobbly…” He murmured. “I could just fall out of it at any time.”
“Yeah, I made this armor for myself. It won’t fit you right, cause we aren’t really the same. Your Animus is unique and alive, so you are your own person. You just need a proper body… that’s our next step. We have your heart, next you need a head to live in.”
“I need a head?” He asked softly. You’re gonna give me head?” He giggled through his nose and stumbled, lost in his clever and witty jibe.
“Har dee harr harr, bro.” Gary answered drily. “If you wanna leave my domain under your own power, yeah… and a body too. I have both, but we gotta wait for full daylight to put you into your head. It’s an ancient crystal skull, crafted and designed to contain a demon’s essence. Don’t worry, I cleaned it out really well.”
“And a body?” He asked warily.
“I’ve done some things like this before, bro. I’ve been living here almost a year now, they call me ‘Wheatford’s Mad Witch’, when they think I can’t hear.” The living part of him smiled a mad, crooked grin and winked.
“It’s fun watching them sweat… when I do random shit, just for funzies… and now there’s two of us…” He smiled again, slow and evil. “Let’s start breakfast… we’ll know more this afternoon I think.”
“We cook and sew now?” He asked in surprise.
“Dude, I just promised to create a physical body for you and you wanna be surprised by muffins, eggs and toast?” He shook his head in wonder. “Yes, I cook now.”
“You’re gonna make some lucky guy a wonderful wife.” He muttered at himself.
“Smart off like that in front of Shai and my kids and we’re having problems, bro. Gender roles are bullshit.” He snapped at Shady.
“Yeah…” He mumbled. “Sorry, I’m just all…” He sighed a dusty, windy gust of nothing, from nowhere at all. “I wish I could eat…”
“We’ll work on that, buddy.” Gary whispered, as the family started moving all over the house.
#
Out in the garden, under the bright morning sun, the quartz crystal skull sat on a simple wooden table, surrounded by a wide ring on the lawn, drawn in salt, sugar and honey. Just inside that, Gary’s magical circle of decorated spidersilk cord and monsterbone charms waved in the fresh breeze.
The skull glittered and sparkled, drawing the eyes of the family still enjoying a late morning on the patio out back. Gary stretched and limbered up inside his fourfold magic circle, while his slightly pudgy shadow tried to keep up with his more athletic counterpart.
When the warmups were done he straightened his simple clothing, drew out his viola and started a smooth melody.
“I can’t make you a living body… but sensory information, I have that handled. How do you feel about jewelry?” He asked with a grin over his instrument. “When I looted that skull, it came with accessories.”
“Is it gaudy, flashy and really obnoxious?” Shady asked, sounding like he already knew the answer.
“Sorry.” He murmured to his two dimensional self. “It’s really pretty and girly.” He grinned a moment later. “The skull is unisex and I can make new perception aids with a little time… work with me buddy.” His friends on the patio carried on the music, as his instrument vanished and a fist full of shiny trinkets appeared in his hands.
The shadow watched with growing agitation as he slowly decorated the skull with some really pretty jewels. Silver, amber and sapphire earrings that were just a little dangly went on first… A simple silver nostril ornament, a mehndi jewel on his brow and a splendid veil of spun silver mesh, decorated with sapphires, tiny jeweled flowers and amber honeybees finished the look...
“That’s… Fine.” He sighed. “Let’s do this.”
“All right, buddy. Wait till you see the ballgown that goes with this outfit…” Gary whispered, as the shadow began slowly slipping into the eye sockets of that gleaming, decorated skull.
“What?!” The shadow demanded angrily a moment later. “I’m not gonna…! Wait…”
“What are you not gonna wait for?” He asked cheerfully, as he picked up the now smoky and gray skull.
“This feels… Pretty good… I can smell! And feel! Shit! I can really see now!” Shady yelled happily. “Ohhh wow!”
Gary held the smoky, bejeweled skull up to meet the family properly. “Hey guys… Shady here is going through a tough patch right now… We’re gonna go get him dressed. Back in a bit.”
Gary wandered off to the workshop with himself… Leaving his family on the patio, still coming to grips with yet another very strange morning.
In the back, near Wicklowe’s bottle, a shape stood in the shadows, covered with a dust cloth. He pulled the drape, revealing a coffin shaped armoire with skull handled door latches and a sturdy lock. He unlocked it with a small bronze key and pulled both doors wide.
“I made this for a… a friend, who found himself in a similar position. Victor decided to leave this world and seek his own place in the universe… I hope you will be more comfortable here.” He slid the skull into the bronze and wooden helmet of the armor construct gently and buckled a mask of leather oak leaves depicting a human face over the skull.
With careful and sure hands, he slipped a bloodstained, silk wrapped packet into a cavity in the wooden torso. A concealed door snapped closed over his heart, bringing the construct to shuddering life.
“Ooh, wow!” Shady lurched and struggled in the chains holding him in his coffin, flailing on instinct.
“Relax… I’ll unhook you. This is just for storage, don’t break my toys!”
Tall, gangly and spindly in the extreme, no one would mistake him for a human, not even at a distance… but he was close enough, once dressed in workman’s clothes and with a hat concealing his helmet head.
“I can maybe make something that will pass as human, once I’m back at iron rank.” Gary sighed. “How is it?”
“I… can walk… like a person….” He gasped softly. “It’s… nothing hurts.”
“Yeah, bro. I get it. Come on, we need to get moving.” He clapped his new friend on the wooden shoulder and led him upstairs to the family.
“Shady’s gonna be with us for a while…” He announced calmly.
“Call me Ward… I don’t like Shady.” The blue armored, skeleton man said softly, the way Gary spoke when he’d first arrived.
“Come on Ward, let’s sail for home.” Gary mumbled happily. “Kids, uncle Ward is going to be with us for a bit, show him the ropes.”
#
The little crew sailed upriver just an hour or so before fishermen and locals started to appear on the banks. A half hour later, the deep, cold, backwater pool of home came into view.
They moored on the pier jutting out in the deep pool, across the decking from an unfamiliar and very streamlined three masted corvette… and disembarked into a small army encamped on the pasture and meadows.
As they moored, a number of red hand tattooed faces appeared above the railing of the long white warship. A moment later, Gabbie’s ‘auntie Ess’ came stomping down the gangway and towards Moonrise looking upset.
“Oh, gods, no… I can’t with these guys.” Gary moaned. “Ward, hide below decks; these people are nuts.”
#